Can psychology actually help fix relationship issues?

I'm totally with you on that part... people shouldn't really use those differences as an excuse to avoid finding some kind of "flow" in how we talk or just live together. Like, you can't just say, "Hey honey, I cheated, but it's just my biology, you know?" 🤣

...and stuff like that...

But if we're actually trying to UNDERSTAND things—if we're looking for the real truth—then we have to look at that side of it too. It’s definitely way easier for everyone when we start from the assumption that we're all basically identical and blah blah blah...

But what if we aren't? 😕

Anyway, I totally see where you're coming from! 👍

Chloe Barnes8 said:I'm totally with you on that part... people shouldn't really use those differences as an excuse to avoid finding some kind of "flow" in how we talk or just live together. Like, you can't just say, "Hey honey, I cheated, but it's just my biology, you know?" 🤣

...and stuff like that...

But if we're actually trying to UNDERSTAND things—if we're looking for the real truth—then we have to look at that side of it too. It’s definitely way easier for everyone when we start from the assumption that we're all basically identical and blah blah blah...

But what if we aren't? 😕

Anyway, I totally see where you're coming from! 👍

It is much more effective to operate under the assumption that every individual is a universe unto themselves. 🙂

Not really... I mean, genetically speaking, we're pretty much cut from the same cloth since we belong to the same species. Under certain conditions, our behavior is bound to follow similar patterns. Kids are probably the best way to measure this; physically, they can often look quite androgynous. You know how it goes—you look at a baby and go, "Oh my god, so cute!" and then the mother gives you this dark look and tells you it's actually a boy 😁
. On the other hand, our sexual development is driven by sexual instinct, which, let's face it, still dictates a huge chunk of our lives. Of course, plenty of people in their later years end up sublimating that drive into something asexual, yet productive. But men and women are definitely different because they're guided by different biological impulses.
For instance, promiscuity is less common among women, partly because she's socially conditioned toward family life, but also because she’s biologically wired to care for offspring. So, she intuitively—and logically—seeks out the best possible partner to raise children with
. Men, meanwhile, instinctively seek out more partners because, from an evolutionary standpoint, fertilizing more females increases the chances of his genes surviving. That same logic explains the protective instinct toward offspring, providing for a family, and that general animosity toward other males
. In my opinion, the real kicker—the whole mess, really—is that as humans, we’ve held onto so much pure animalistic, instinctive behavior, even though we’ve tried to "humanize" it by acknowledging these differences. Civilization developed relatively quickly, from an evolutionary perspective, specifically to weed out or adapt these behaviors, concluding that they aren't necessary since, well, we're supposed to be civilized people
.

mistybison said:It is much more effective to operate under the assumption that every individual is a universe unto themselves. 🙂

And that really IS the biggest truth there is... kind of a paradox, I guess? Like, on the surface, we're all actually the same deep, deep down... almost identical, even...

But, if you look at it from a psychological standpoint, thinking that way isn't easy at all. It's actually the exact opposite. It's harder...

It’s much simpler to just shove people into boxes. That's why those stereotypes exist—because we all cling to them so tightly...☕

Angela Rogers2 said:Not really... I mean, genetically speaking, we're pretty much cut from the same cloth since we belong to the same species. Under certain conditions, our behavior is bound to follow similar patterns. Kids are probably the best way to measure this; physically, they can often look quite androgynous. You know how it goes—you look at a baby and go, "Oh my god, so cute!" and then the mother gives you this dark look and tells you it's actually a boy 😁
. On the other hand, our sexual development is driven by sexual instinct, which, let's face it, still dictates a huge chunk of our lives. Of course, plenty of people in their later years end up sublimating that drive into something asexual, yet productive. But men and women are definitely different because they're guided by different biological impulses.
For instance, promiscuity is less common among women, partly because she's socially conditioned toward family life, but also because she’s biologically wired to care for offspring. So, she intuitively—and logically—seeks out the best possible partner to raise children with
. Men, meanwhile, instinctively seek out more partners because, from an evolutionary standpoint, fertilizing more females increases the chances of his genes surviving. That same logic explains the protective instinct toward offspring, providing for a family, and that general animosity toward other males
. In my opinion, the real kicker—the whole mess, really—is that as humans, we’ve held onto so much pure animalistic, instinctive behavior, even though we’ve tried to "humanize" it by acknowledging these differences. Civilization developed relatively quickly, from an evolutionary perspective, specifically to weed out or adapt these behaviors, concluding that they aren't necessary since, well, we're supposed to be civilized people
.

Are you actually talking about people here, or just some transitional stage of animal evolution?😕

She’s just touching on those basic, old-school patterns we see everywhere in the world today... but honestly, let's not get too bogged down in the weeds right now, no real need for all that extra stress...🙄

Sandra Parker3 said:Are you actually talking about people here, or just some transitional stage of animal evolution?😕

I’m obviously talking about cattle😉—though I guess that's how most guys today operate. They just wrap their behavior in some pathetic little rationalization to make themselves feel better. It's always something like:
- I was just drunk
- I'm just a jerk
- Women are untrustworthy, so it's just a matter of opportunity
- I'm not looking for anything serious
and so on... 😁

Angela Rogers2 said:I’m obviously talking about cattle😉—though I guess that's how most guys today operate. They just wrap their behavior in some pathetic little rationalization to make themselves feel better. It's always something like:
- I was just drunk
- I'm just a jerk
- Women are untrustworthy, so it's just a matter of opportunity
- I'm not looking for anything serious
and so on... 😁

🤣 🤣 🤣

Yeah... he actually claims it's just in his DNA...

Chloe Barnes8 said:🤣 🤣 🤣

Yeah... he actually claims it's just in his DNA...

😍
Bad genes, if you ask me. Let some promiscuous Neanderthal just fade out of the gene pool.😉 😁

There’s actually an even worse scenario out there, sweetie... imagine if everyone just turned metrosexual... basically becoming asexual...😁 😁

Angela Rogers2 said:I’m obviously talking about cattle😉—though I guess that's how most guys today operate. They just wrap their behavior in some pathetic little rationalization to make themselves feel better. It's always something like:
- I was just drunk
- I'm just a jerk
- Women are untrustworthy, so it's just a matter of opportunity
- I'm not looking for anything serious
and so on... 😁

No, my point was actually about that whole "intuitive" and "instinctive" thing.

Then it’s not just cattle 🙄
But fine, I think I get what you were getting at now............

Hold on a second... cattle, superhumans...?
What's the middle ground? Just curious about your terminology here 😉

Chloe Barnes8 said:🤣 🤣 🤣

Yeah... he actually claims it's just in his DNA...

Sure, if anyone's actually buying that nonsense anymore.🙄

It’s possible that men might crave physical intimacy with someone new after being in a long-term relationship, but women certainly experience a desire to fall in love all over again with a different partner. 😉 Let's be honest. 😁

Sandra Parker3 said:Sure, if anyone's actually buying that nonsense anymore.🙄

Well, actually, that's exactly what's selling like crazy right now...😁

Sandra Parker3 said:No, my point was actually about that whole "intuitive" and "instinctive" thing.

Then it’s not just cattle 🙄
But fine, I think I get what you were getting at now............

Hold on a second... cattle, superhumans...?
What's the middle ground? Just curious about your terminology here 😉

Heh, so you haven't read anything at all? 😁
It’s kind of a gray area, honestly. It all depends on where they're headed, I guess.😁 😁 😁

@neznam Enchi, if I ever actually fell out of love with my husband, I honestly don't think I'd ever find it in me to fall for another guy again. 🤷

mistybison said:It’s possible that men might crave physical intimacy with someone new after being in a long-term relationship, but women certainly experience a desire to fall in love all over again with a different partner. 😉 Let's be honest. 😁

And honestly, women want to sleep with other guys again, too... just being totally real here.🙂

mistybison said:It’s possible that men might crave physical intimacy with someone new after being in a long-term relationship, but women certainly experience a desire to fall in love all over again with a different partner. 😉 Let's be honest. 😁

That whole theory about intuitive versus primal differences between men and women is total garbage... oh wait, I was thinking of you, ten, you absolute animal... yeah, I know, my bad. 🙄 😉

Chloe Barnes8 said:And honestly, women want to sleep with other guys again, too... just being totally real here.🙂

Every single time I'm hanging out here this late, we always circle back to the exact same topic: that 😁

Is that supposed to mean something 🤷 🎉

I guess people just start loosening up a little bit during these late hours.....😁

Angela Rogers2 said:Heh, so you haven't read anything at all? 😁
It’s kind of a gray area, honestly. It all depends on where they're headed, I guess.😁 😁 😁

@neznam Enchi, if I ever actually fell out of love with my husband, I honestly don't think I'd ever find it in me to fall for another guy again. 🤷

She absolutely could—perhaps not right away, but eventually, without a doubt. 🙂 The real question is whether she would have the courage to let herself feel that way again. It is entirely natural. 🙂 Personally, I believe it is healthy for a woman to experience that sense of being in love frequently, if not constantly. 🙂 However, that doesn't align with the traditionalist ideal—the submissive, quiet woman who stays strictly in her husband's shadow, devoted to him alone while he pursues his ventures 😁 (like business trips, military service, or even affairs), prioritizing stability and raising his children above all else... 😉 A woman who truly nurtures her passion finds it difficult to sustain that exclusively with one person forever. That reality isn't particularly convenient for men. 😁 I suppose that is why this perspective isn't such a popular theory. 🤔 😁 🤣