Can psychology actually help fix relationship issues?

It all boils down to reproduction. You can throw psychology, philosophy, physics, or any other field at this, but none of them will offer a single shred of help.

Angela Rogers2 said:Honestly, nobody can really fix this. You need shows like *Everybody Loves Raymond*—something where you can actually observe how people navigate marriage. Because if you're acting the way you are, I guess even Freud couldn't help you at this point. 😁😁😁

Maybe some marriage counselors can help out when it comes to minor disagreements, but I always end up saying the same thing: a person's character is pretty much their destiny. So, if we're talking about a hardcore, deep-seated issue... 🤷

Like what?
Besides, maybe someone just isn't looking for a relationship right now, which wouldn't be all that weird if that's the case.

@ Amanda Ramirez69, what kind of dark reproduction are you even talking about 😕

Sandra Parker3 said:I don’t know, I’ve just never really been someone who finds people attractive purely on a sexual level, totally isolated from everything else going on in their head.
Even those feelings of "crushing" on someone always felt way too intense for me.
Sometimes one side takes the lead and sometimes the other does, but at the end of the day, I just can't seem to untangle raw instinct from actual logic.

I'm not talking about some kind of clean break or a sharp division, if that's what you mean.

The fact that you can't separate them isn't some deep philosophical dilemma; it's just your own issue.
Truthfully, everything boils down to what you're actually looking for. When you know exactly what you want, you get it—one day it's this, the next it's that. It all comes down to intention. What is it that you're actually after? Life works in a very straightforward way: if you lack clarity, you're lost, but once you define your goal, you achieve it.

Why on earth do you think that's an issue, and why does it suddenly mean I don't know what I want?

Sandra Parker3 said:Like what?
Besides, maybe someone just isn't looking for a relationship right now, which wouldn't be all that weird if that's the case.

@ Amanda Ramirez69, what kind of dark reproduction are you even talking about 😕

It’s basic math—2+2=4—and things should work accordingly. We don't need to reinvent the wheel here. You either know what you want, or you don't, and that's that. Problems only start cropping up when people pretend they aren't sure. If someone doesn't want a relationship, then fine, they don't want one. If someone does want one, then they want one. I couldn't care less about the specifics; we're just overcomplicating everything...

Amanda Ramirez69 said:It’s basic math—2+2=4—and things should work accordingly. We don't need to reinvent the wheel here. You either know what you want, or you don't, and that's that. Problems only start cropping up when people pretend they aren't sure. If someone doesn't want a relationship, then fine, they don't want one. If someone does want one, then they want one. I couldn't care less about the specifics; we're just overcomplicating everything...

The thing is, wanting it isn't enough; you actually have to put in the work.

Amanda Ramirez69 said:It’s basic math—2+2=4—and things should work accordingly. We don't need to reinvent the wheel here. You either know what you want, or you don't, and that's that. Problems only start cropping up when people pretend they aren't sure. If someone doesn't want a relationship, then fine, they don't want one. If someone does want one, then they want one. I couldn't care less about the specifics; we're just overcomplicating everything...

The thing is, connections rarely happen right when we're hunting for them; they usually show up when you least expect it. You have to take a step back and ask yourself: who am I actually becoming? In my experience, life tends to reflect your own character back at you. You attract what you've earned through your own growth. If you aren't a high-quality person, you won't find a high-quality partnership. My philosophy is simple: focus on self-improvement to gain some actual perspective. Once you do that, you can stop obsessing over the outcome, because things will naturally fall into place when they are meant to.

Sandra Parker3 said:The thing is, wanting it isn't enough; you actually have to put in the work.

But what specifically are we talking about here?

Look, it’s not even about whether I’m right or wrong. It’s just that something about this whole situation feels fundamentally off to me...
I can't stop questioning it.... 🙄
Whatever, things will eventually settle themselves out. Just don't expect it to happen overnight 😉

Thanks for the chat and the food for thought, heading to bed now. Goodnight 🙂

Amanda Ramirez69 said:The thing is, connections rarely happen right when we're hunting for them; they usually show up when you least expect it. You have to take a step back and ask yourself: who am I actually becoming? In my experience, life tends to reflect your own character back at you. You attract what you've earned through your own growth. If you aren't a high-quality person, you won't find a high-quality partnership. My philosophy is simple: focus on self-improvement to gain some actual perspective. Once you do that, you can stop obsessing over the outcome, because things will naturally fall into place when they are meant to.

That’s exactly why I’m asking: can a therapist or psychiatrist actually help someone find a partner? Can we fix the reason we've been single for years just by changing ourselves through therapy?

If you’ve actually done the work to build yourself into a solid person, you already know your own worth. You’re constantly evolving, putting in the hours to refine both your physical presence and your mental fortitude. At that point, you don't waste time obsessing over those kinds of questions—the right doors just swing open on their own.

Amanda Ramirez69 said:But what specifically are we talking about here?

It really comes down to the actual quality of what you’ve built and how satisfied you truly are with it, plus whether you’re actually putting in the work to fix your own messes—and if you're doing it the right way, too. Like, is it even okay to want to change things, and how much of your current situation is actually your own fault? Then there's the question of whether you're being selfish when you try to pivot from something you chose yourself rather than something forced on you, and honestly, who was I even kidding while I was playing along with all this, including myself... just all that deep stuff....
Just a bunch of philosophical rambling, I guess...
Heading out... night🙂

Jerry Martinez5 said:That’s exactly why I’m asking: can a therapist or psychiatrist actually help someone find a partner? Can we fix the reason we've been single for years just by changing ourselves through therapy?

The moment you frame the question like that, it shows there’s a fundamental misunderstanding of what’s happening here. If you're looking for a psychiatrist, you clearly have a different set of needs—you're trying to fix specific clinical issues. A psychologist can certainly help you work through your internal struggles, which might eventually give you the clarity needed to figure out your next move, but they aren't going to go out and find a partner for you. Their job isn't matchmaking; it's helping you navigate those deep-seated personal hurdles that prevent you from functioning properly in the first place.

I'm with Amanda Ramirez69 on this one.

Jerry Martinez5 said:That’s exactly why I’m asking: can a therapist or psychiatrist actually help someone find a partner? Can we fix the reason we've been single for years just by changing ourselves through therapy?

It depends!
I mean, sure, they can help, obviously. But if there’s a serious, real-world physical or mental health struggle involved—like a major illness—they can definitely help you manage it so you can function your best, but there's no magic guarantee that it'll suddenly lead to finding a partner...

For instance... I honestly think people dealing with severe psychiatric conditions have a much tougher time finding a relationship. Let's be real here, most people aren't exactly lining up to live with someone who, say, struggles with schizophrenia or bipolar disorder...

It’s kind of the same thing for people who are physically different—whether they’re living with a disability or a genetic condition that causes physical anomalies...

It's a legitimate question, though. Can these people actually get help with this, and does anyone here have any personal experience with it?...

So, look, it doesn't always have to be about some massive, life-altering trauma. Sometimes it’s more subtle—like if you just happen to have this neurotic pattern where you constantly find yourself stuck with, I don't know, bullies, or alcoholics, or just people who can't stand up for themselves, or maybe folks who aren't being totally honest about who they are 😁... or women getting caught in similar loops with all sorts of characters. I really believe that through therapy, you can actually break free from those repetitive "life scripts." It's possible to truly start over and heal from the inside out...

But, yeah, it takes time. Obviously. Your goal isn't to spend your entire existence on a therapist's couch, and it's definitely not the ideal—you know, like those old Woody Allen clichés where everyone is in session forever—but I think committing to it for at least a few years could make a world of difference...

I think Sandra Parker3 mentioned somewhere that I haven't actually pointed out one specific issue in this thread, and honestly, she's right... it feels more like a casual chat room at this point..

With all the endless flood of advice on how to find a partner, how to be more seductive, or tips on how to spice up your sex life—whether it's through books, magazines, websites, or even those reality TV shows—it really makes you wonder if we actually need that much guidance for everything. And if we do, would any of it even work?

I guess I’m just feeling pretty conflicted about these so-called sexual therapists..
On one hand, why not? It’s true that a lot of people are pretty much totally uneducated when it comes to intimacy..
But on the other hand, it feels like such an intense intrusion into someone's private life..

I mean, I'm sure most of you have at least caught a glimpse of shows like Sex Inc. on cable, right?
So, what's your take on sexual therapy? I'd love to hear from anyone who's actually gone through it...

Angela Rogers2 said:heheheh Sandra Parker3
Rationalization is basically just when you hunt for an excuse for something you did mostly on instinct, trying to justify it to yourself first and then to everyone else later.
And let's be real, the most common rationalization is when you're being a total jerk to someone and then claim, "I'm doing this for your own good." 😉 😁

We're essentially pack animals, and all those evolutionary factors have shaped us so that we can't really function without each other.

Now, it all depends on what pulls you in. Personally, I find muscular meatheads pretty gross. I was just watching Big Brother earlier, and Steve is absolutely unattractive and just an unpleasant guy to watch. I'm sure some woman out there looks at him and sees a literal Apollo. We humans have gotten really good at honing our specific "tools." For instance, one person might be charmed by someone with a great ear for music, another by a math whiz, someone else by a fashionista, or maybe a coin collector... but all of that is just displaying some kind of genetic blueprint—a specific skill set that you find attractive because you want to experience it or maybe pass it down to your kids.
There are so many different factors playing a huge role in why two people are attracted to each other.
I don't personally buy into the whole pheromone thing; unless someone can actually provide a solid, evidence-based argument for how they work, I'll probably just take it with a grain of salt. 🤷

Don't hold your breath. It is an undeniable biological fact that we emit pheromones, but the real mystery remains why I seem to be reacting to Matt instead of Anthony.

Jerry Martinez5 said:You're missing out big time, 😉

or maybe you aren't if you're constantly surrounded by dozens of interesting, exciting people. But if it’s been ages since you actually felt a spark, or haven't even been excited by a new friend, then yeah, loosening up your standards would be pretty useful.

As for... well, I wouldn't touch that furniture either. At least for now.🤷

That is simply impossible; they aren't my crowd at all. It truly gets under my skin. It is precisely that one point that Cinderella keeps bringing up.

Maybe it's just because Matt’s got a better immune system! Or maybe he’s just pumping out more testosterone than Anthony does...🤷 🤣