On top of everything, there's no Fear

I skimmed through the beginning, but then it just turned into a massive wall of copy-pasting, so I checked out. Look, I don't want to jump the gun here, but I gotta ask—is this just some kind of exhibitionism? What’s the actual point? You're basically stripping your soul bare for a bunch of random people on a forum. And since you can't seem to find your own words, you just grab every song lyric where you think you see yourself. There's a mountain of them because you still haven't figured out who you are, what you stand for, or why you even exist, right? I get that your problems aren't exactly huge, but I'm wondering what you want from us. Do you want us to read it? Comment on it? Are we supposed to help you "find yourself," or are you just hoping someone similar will spot you? Or are you just talking absolute crap for the hell of it?

I just wanted to see how I’d actually react to a comment like that... seriously, just back off with those snap judgments!!!
It definitely threw me for a loop at first glance—maybe there's a grain of truth buried in there somewhere...
Total nonsense through and through (whatever you think you're doing, I'm not talking to you, I'm talking to them...
That was a wild reaction.. stop quoting me, because if you keep it up, I'm done typing.

..once I hit my 196th post, maybe then I'll finally figure out who I am, why I'm even here, and what I actually want out of life.. just a little bit further to go.. about 100 more posts to go.. and who are YOU people anyway!!?? Which members are we talking about, which forum is this even, and what on earth do you mean by "exhibitionism".. and what's this talk about "soul".. and what even *is* a soul.. honestly, I haven't the slightest clue

Look, I’ll help you out, Susan Ortiz43...

First off, I think you're being way too rude... JUST TALKING TRASH FOR NO REASON (??????)... you're disrespecting my friend... and not just mine either... because honestly, 99% of people here love and read what Pupiti writes on this thread... anyway.... if you take a look around... you'll see this topic is the second most visited one on the site... the first one is... well, obviously... "How do I lose weight?"... and if people can spend all day chatting about how they dropped two ounces and now fit into smaller jeans🤮then sure, Pupiti can talk about whatever is weighing on him too—and that stuff is way deeper and more interesting than losing damn pounds, especially since summer is coming and there are tons of awesome people out there who might actually notice you, and then you'd finally feel good about yourself (sorry in advance to anyone dealing with actual health issues related to weight).... NO, even though you can see my take on that specific thread from what I wrote... I’m not going over there to tell them... OH MY GOD, YOU GUYS ARE SO STUPID AND "FULL OF HOT AIR," ALL YOU DO IS BARK ABOUT WEIGHT... that’s not my scene, so I just ignore it...
...nobody is asking anything of you.... but if you don't get the vibe here... JUST BACK OFF🙂 ...you said enough right at the start... you jumped to a total conclusion before even seeing the full picture... some people get it and some don't... if you don't understand the vibe... there are plenty of other threads... go to that one... "HOW TO LOSE WEIGHT AND BE HAPPY"... or maybe that one about the Freudian approach to picking usernames. (Because we could say a whole lot about yours)... for instance, I'm clearly a drunkard... or maybe I want to kill Drew Richardson82 from the local jail
..or maybe I just call everyone "Kenny" out of affection... especially people like you... kidding! I love people like you.... you kind of push me to vent a little because... unfortunately... I can't always write exactly how I'm feeling.... but hey, I have great moments too.😁

...but seriously, in the end... it feels like you're just a little bird that flew out of the nest for the very first time and is now flapping its wings wildly... until you hit your first telephone pole. Every once in a while, folks like you fly onto this site, but you usually get fed up and leave pretty quick....

So yeah.... just read Pupiti's posts.... you might not grasp the meaning of existence (and I have my doubts about that, especially reading Pupiti's posts.. khmmm🙄 )... but you'll realize just how deep the human soul goes... and that probably includes yours... which, if you listen closely enough, you might actually hear one day. (Hehehehe... you'll be so terrified... maybe you'll even become one of us)

I AND FINALLY (for real this time).... I'm giving your post a 👍 because it actually jolted me out of the lethargy and boredom I've been stuck in lately... ugh, I hate idiots. I HATE THEM, I HATE THEM..... I HATE THEM!!!!! ...but I also love it, because sometimes I just need someone to hate... thanks, Susan Ortiz43
😘

Oh man, oh boy... ohhhhhhh my god, I totally forgot about that one... (seriously, there’s never an end to my brain farts)....
OF COURSE THIS APPLIES TO THE ONE AND ONLY Susan Ortiz43 too....

....AND WHICH SELF-IMPORTANT JERK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE, SHOWING OFF WITH THAT FANCY ENGLISH??????????????????

Look, I really don't want to jump the gun here🙄... (just like you wouldn't)
...are you trying to let everyone know you got a perfect score on your English exams? Or maybe you're living abroad somewhere where English is the main language... or... maybe you're just a total blowhard.... (man, I love this stuff). See... anyone can find something to nitpick about. (And hey, you can pick on me too... my English is absolute garbage, and I'm basically losing my mind over Pup... plus I'm a bit of an idiot sometimes. And annoying, and rude... blah, blah...) yeah, whatever.

HAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHA.......

...so I just did a little digital snooping on you.... WOMEN'S CORNER, LOVE AND SEX, ......CIGARETTES AND KILOS ....(HEHEHEH)....FOODIE STUFF...and of course the EXPAT LIFE....God, are you even in here?????

//////I really put in the work here////....seriously, I'm such a petty person🙄 ...so check this out: Susan Ortiz43 posted in one of those sections where she was encouraging some girl who was super bummed out because people weren't taking her seriously...AND OUR GIRL Susan Ortiz43 was there to back her up...AND HERE IS HER WHOLE POST:

************************************************** **
If you want serious answers, just make sure to specify that you're being serious, and I don't think anyone's going to ignore your request. If you say you're hurting, I doubt anyone would mock you. The reason those of us who have been here longer joke around a bit more harshly with each other is because we "know" each other (putting quotes around know). The truth is, the rules get a bit tougher when people are talking nonsense or acting like idiots; if you post something stupid, you're gonna get roasted without mercy. The Majority of people here are actually really nice folks, and your comment feels a bit out of place—don't be so quick to judge people you don't actually "know" (quotes again).

************************************************** **
that last part from the Majority....(and everything after)...is definitely the best part....and personally, I'd just add...total bull shit...now I hate you even more...because you're a complete hypocrite.
ugh...Richard Murphy6...thanks for your posts...they actually help me out. Honestly, it's better to vent my frustrations at random idiots I don't even know than at my actual friends who don't deserve it...and hey, I just need an outlet... (my sex life hasn't been great lately... if it ever even was... but maybe I'll ask Susan Ortiz43 for some advice... she knows everyone and everything on the internet)😁

Look, my goal was to shake Richard Murphy6 out of his funk, not to deal with you. If you want to jump to some unresearched conclusion that I’m just some sexually repressed girl struggling with her weight, then honestly, high five—in my flawless English. And for being so fiercely loyal to Richard Murphy6? You get five stars from me, seriously.
Maybe take a second to think about how many people on this most-visited thread on the internet actually give a damn about what's going on inside someone's soul. And of those who do, how many are just here to feel better because they see someone crazier than themselves? Richard Murphy6's stories hit home for me, the same way the songs he quotes do. I spend my life watching people around me crash and burn, but instead of sitting in the dirt crying with them, I pick them up and help them keep moving. There’s zero point in pity. Pull yourself together and get back out there. This "sexually repressed girl with weight issues" you're talking about has actually dealt with way more of the stuff you and Richard Murphy6 think you've got figured out.

hmmm... well... thanks so much for helping me out... I honestly feel like a new man😉 ...I just really needed someone to vent to.

...I mean, why even bother asking how many people there are... and why do people even read this thread? Well, I do! (Sometimes, just like you, I skip over stuff... but other times I actually stumble upon some song lyrics... which is kind of a nice little bonus... Pupiti finds songs for us🙄 ...

...Pupiti shares his thoughts and feelings right here on this thread... just like I do when I'm losing my mind, or like feralbear49 and Avi... plus a whole bunch of others who aren't posting right now but I know they're lurking somewhere... sort of like planets in space, or those folks from Strawberry Hill, Veronica... and all the others who used to post in the anxiety threads...

...On the flip side... if this helps people by showing them they aren't the only crazy ones out there... then awesome! In that case, we should probably suggest Pupini for the presidential inauguration. Saint Pupini!😁

...Whenever I post on this thread (or the older ones about anxiety)... HONESTLY... I don't give a damn what anyone else thinks. I just write whatever pops into my head first... I'm basically just chatting with Pupiti (and saving a ton on phone bills in the process🙄 )... that's the best part about this and all the other threads about mental health... anxiety, panic attacks, and all that jazz... they give me the permission to be a little crazy... because, more or less... that's exactly how I feel... and I think that goes for all of us.

And I don't think anyone needs to try and change Pupini; that's just who he is... his stream of consciousness... his emotions... but he can talk to you about it all... which he probably will anyway...

...now you guys are all going to try and agree with me...give me a break...first impressions are what they are. everything else is just overthinking it. everyone sees things through their own lens, and we should be tolerant about that. we aren't clones; being an individual is what actually matters. honestly, I don't really get Richard Murphy6 either...and he doesn't get me...but I don't bother trying to figure him out because I just accept him for who he is. Besides, I’m not exactly an open book, and neither is he. If I actually wrote down every single thought that pops into my head, I'd run out of adjectives, and since people don't exactly listen to my commentary anyway, I hold back from totally exposing my soul in public. Some people like it that way. And why anyone reads this? It doesn't matter. Everyone has their own reasons. Sometimes life just gets exhausting dealing with all these "good Samaritans" who think they understand everyone else's problems. They don't even understand themselves, let alone anyone else. It's on us to just accept people as they are...and where exactly does it say how we *should* be? Personally, I feel bad for those cookie-cutter types—who could possibly find them interesting? They might have it easier, but life is more beautiful this way 🙂. aaaaaa.yeah, sure, whatever...that's just what I'm thinking right now while I sit here in front of the screen, sipping my coffee, and honestly, I just don't give a damn about anything. screw it...but hey, it hit me. tomorrow I'll probably think differently🙂

june says: "Now you guys are gonna try to agree with me... give me a break... first impressions are everything... anything else is just making excuses..."

Is it really such a crime to reach an agreement? Isn't the whole point of any conflict to find a middle ground that works for everyone, or are you pulling for the idea that we should just bleed out until there's nothing left? First impressions are everything... honestly, even seeing things in person, I'd say that's debatable. Reading it online? Even more so. But hey, that's just my two cents.

june says: "Everyone’s got their own movie playing in their head... you gotta be tolerant... we aren't clones... individuality is what matters most... I don't really get Pupiti either... and he doesn't get me... but I don't bother trying because I accept him for who he is... plus, I'm not exactly an open book, and neither is he... if I wrote down every single thing that popped into my mind, fmmmmm, I'd run out of insults... and since nobody actually listens to my comments anyway, I hold back from airing my soul in public... but some people seem to like that... and why anyone even reads this isn't even important... everyone has their reasons... sometimes life just gets nauseating because of all these self-proclaimed saints and people pretending to understand everyone else's problems and situations... they don't even understand themselves, let alone anyone else..."

Basically, that's the starting point of how much people actually understand—and how much they understand about the act of understanding itself. You saying life gets nauseating because of those "do-gooders"... look, if you accept people for who they are, then you have to accept the altruists too. They're human beings. Some people put in the work to learn about the world and the people around them, while others just say, "just accept people as they are, I don't get you but it doesn't matter, just be who you are (whatever that means), I've got my own life so stay out of my bubble and I won't mess with yours" (okay, maybe I'm exaggerating a bit, but that's how it looks to me, even if it's not the immediate takeaway)

june says: "It's up to us to just accept the other person as they are..."

And keep our distance? Don't you dare try giving someone advice or helping them out... because that implies you actually want closeness... and if you go there, you're gonna have to strip your own soul bare too... because intimacy goes both ways. Isn't that exactly the blueprint for modern life? Just distance ourselves from each other as much as humanly possible.

june says: "Where does it say how we should be?? I actually feel bad for those cookie-cutter types, who could they possibly be interesting to? For us, it's harder but nicer 🙂 aaaaaa. yeah yeah yeah... that's just what I'm thinking right now as I sit here in front of the screen drinking coffee and giving zero damns about anything... whatever... but it hit me... tomorrow I'll probably think differently"🙂 "

I don't buy into first impressions (not the cliché kind) and I analyze people pretty thoroughly before I let them in. I ask questions—both polite and blunt ones (some people call me rude and hate me for it)—until I actually know the person, because I'm genuinely curious about people and I enjoy sharing myself with others. Whether I'm lifting them up, they're lifting me up, or we're just talking shit all night for no reason. Two heads are always better than one. So, I'm off to grab coffee with a smart cookie. Peace out, everyone.
See ya soon (in my beautiful English, haha)

..honestly, I’m just looking for someone to help me out
My head has been killing me for three years straight. I’ve tried everything under the sun, done every scan and test you can imagine
The doctors all say nothing is wrong, but it hurts—it feels like someone is literally drilling a hole into my skull
And the dizziness? It’s constant. My thoughts race at a million miles an hour, then suddenly everything just stops and there's this heavy silence for ten minutes at a time
I’m sweating through my clothes constantly
They told me to see a psychiatrist, so I did, but it didn't change a thing
I am terrified of dying, and I'm still so young. Everywhere I look, I see reminders of death
I’m incredibly depressed, but I try to hide it because nobody gets it
That’s how I’ve been playing it for three years now
I can’t live like this anymore; the fear is eating me alive
I read somewhere that this stuff is really hard to treat with meds
When I was a kid, everyone picked on me. My dad was aggressive too; he used to get violent with my mom, my sister, and me. During the war, we lived in a city that was being bombed nonstop, and all anyone could hear were people screaming about enemies and saying they needed to be wiped out, and I was just sitting there terrified
My parents never had any money, so our house was always full of fighting and tension. I never even understood why things were so heavy
I was always such a quiet kid, a great student. Everyone used to praise me and tell me how smart I was, but deep down, I actually felt stupid
Now that I’m an adult, I realize I was smart enough to know I was stupid, while those people telling me I was brilliant were actually the ones who were clueless..
Ever since I can remember, I’ve struggled with depression
And I fall in love way too easily, loving everyone deeply, but no one ever loves me back. I’ve spent so much time alone, just reading *Grick* or *Ninja and Zagora*.. and as time went on, I just got more and more miserable. It was harder to be with myself than it was to be with other people
So now, I’m pleading for help. I just can't do this anymore
Doctors gave me various pills and I took them, but nothing worked. Then I started taking higher and higher doses, and still, nothing changed. Eventually, my neighbors found out I was seeing a shrink and started whispering that I’d lost my mind. It was so embarrassing. Then my relatives started dropping by, staring at me to see if I had actually gone crazy
Back then, I would just lock myself in my room and cry. I tried so hard not to think about it, but it was impossible.. I’m constantly terrified that I’ll lose my mind, and it’s so humiliating...
What am I supposed to do? I just want to be able to laugh, have a girlfriend, be intimate, and have friends I can actually hang out with in town and talk to..
Can anyone please help me!!??
I even tried seeing a healer, and I stopped drinking the coffee I love because they told me to. One doctor told me my issues were from smoking, so I quit, but I just couldn't stay off the cigarettes
My mom tried to take me to see some guy who claims to have special powers, but I refused
Other people suggested it was because I wasn't working, so I started a job, but it didn't make me feel better—plus, the guy wouldn't even pay me
Then I went to a meditation session where I had to chant "oommmm. uuummmm. babbababba.." but it didn't help, and I was too scared to even close my eyes because the dizziness would get even worse
Then they told me I needed to run. So I ran, but it just made my head ache even more, so I stopped.. and I just cry every single day
My dad is doing much better now; he doesn't yell or hit my mom anymore, and Mom has started laughing a bit more and stopped taking those pills she relied on her whole life, but it hasn't changed anything for me
They even bought me a bike, which is the only thing that brings me joy lately, because I can ride it out of town and just cry where nobody can see me
Please, can someone help me
There’s so much more to say, but my vision is getting blurry and I can’t type, and my neck is cramping up badly. Someone told me I might be low on magnesium, so I’ve been taking those supplements
😢

So, did those headache pills actually do anything?

Someone said this somewhere, can't quite remember who:
"There are still plenty of sick and crazy people here. This is basically a corner for folks dealing with Fear or anxiety, and I don't get why that bothers you all. There used to be a huge crowd posting here, but now it’s just Pupiti hanging around because of people who think they're being especially hilarious. It's hard enough for people struggling with mental health to talk about it without all the 'smart' comments."

Hmm, based on this outburst, it sounds like Pupini is sick, crazy, driven by Fear or anxiety, and dealing with mental issues. Now my nickname is making me wonder... what if Pupini is actually the sane one? What does that say about everyone else? Maybe he's one of the few people actually seeing things for what they really are? While the rest of the world is just living in a delusion thinking they're "normal." If his perception of reality is just a little different from yours, why call him crazy? Why are people so damn quick to throw out a diagnosis when it comes to someone else? Why are people so terrified of what they don't understand?

Then people told me I needed to pray to God, so I did. I’d just lie there at night, begging, "Please, God, just make things better," over and over, but nothing changed. It made me feel like I was just some terrible, rotten person. Like, why would God punish me like this? Then I started spiraling, thinking back to when I was a kid and stole keys from an old man because my buddy egged me on—he passed away later, so I figured maybe that was my sentence. I knew I had been a bad kid. I knew I wasn't a good person.
Now, my friends try to get me to hang out, but honestly? I’m terrified. I won't even leave my room. My dad even bought me a gaming PC so I could be like other kids my age, but even that gets old fast.
Sometimes I take way too many pills and head out into the world, but then I just feel out of place. Everyone seems so incredibly sharp, you know? They can follow the conversation and they all seem so happy and kind. Man, I just wish I could be like them!
I remember once I used to buy Sports Illustrated and I tried so hard to memorize every player, their teams, everything. It was such a struggle for me. Other guys could rattle off scores from the '93 World Series like it was nothing, but I felt so slow, like I just couldn't wrap my brain around it. And those guys? They didn't let heartbreak stop them. If a girl turned them down, they'd just call her names and move right on to the next one. I tried to act like that, really I did, but it just didn't work for me. It just made me feel even more clueless.
My buddies always teased me about being a fool because I fall head over heels for every girl I meet. Looking back, they were right—I’m just not normal. I even went as far as writing letters and poems... now I feel like there's no way out. I think about ending it all, but that scares me too. I'm sure I'd end up in Hell, and it'll probably be even worse there.
So instead, I just sit here, suffering in silence and trying to hold it together, but I'm feeling weaker every single day.

Richard Murphy6, you’re making me so sad... I know how much this hurts. You put in so much work, you give it everything you have, and you do so much for everyone else... It’s honestly devastating, Richard Murphy6, really. There comes a point where you just can't take any more. Now I'm feeling down and overwhelmed too... and I refuse to let things stay this way. Why is it that the fools always seem to win while the good people just suffer and struggle? This world is so unfair... it's just awful. Please, Richard Murphy6, don't keep going like this; my heart breaks just thinking about it. I wish I could just give you a huge hug right now and tell you that things are going to get better—for you, for me, and for Drew Richardson82... we all deserve some peace.

Ugh... I don't even know... if I say "it'll be fine," who am I even talking about? It should be me, right? But honestly, sometimes I feel like I'm not even myself... so yeah...

Long live the madness and the chaos! Oh man, Pup, you’re totally convincing me too...

If you try to do something drastic, I'll be right there to help you out!😁

I just swallow everything to keep from crying. It’s not for Richard Murphy6, though—it’s for myself. Every single thing he writes feels like a mirror of my own life. Sure, I didn't grow up being physically beaten by my father, but there is just so much else. Honestly, I could almost copy-paste his stories onto my own life.
As for whether we're all crazy or not? Personally, I've embraced being crazy. So what if I am? It actually feels pretty great to just admit it. I can shout "I'm crazy" here as loud as I want.

Oh man, my heart is just breaking... when I read Pupin's post... I didn't want to cry... because I've always hated crying... but DAMN, it’s the exact same thing... freaking exact same thing... he wasn't just hitting you, he was hitting me too... everything else, from his very first sentence to the last, it’s basically identical... I honestly don't get why Pupin is so worked up about it. I started working when I was 14. I had to buy my own bike, buy my own computer, and I had to fund my own education—not just college, but high school too. My dad used to tell me, "There’s no money, kid. If you want to go to school, fine, but if you can't make it work, go fishing or something." So, I’d ride my bike every single day to school and back, waving at the kids on the bus (those idiots actually thought I was cool, thinking I was blowing my bus fare on drugs—which I never touched—or on girls, which I never paid for either, since they were always happy to hang out for free 🙄)... I was just surviving. And after graduation, when I started looking for a job, everyone just laughed in my face. Like, "LOL, good luck!" But whatever, screw them. At the end of the day, I love my dad and I love my mom. They're a bit much, and yeah, they're crazy, but they're mine. They make mistakes, and sometimes they're total cowards... though, hey, sometimes I am too, so what?

...I was thinking yesterday... back when I was younger, I felt like one solid, cohesive unit. Depression would hit me like a little soap bubble, trapping me for a moment... and I'd fight it off. I'd struggle against it for hours, maybe even days... and then finally, I'd give it a huge blow and push it away from me......BUT NOW... it feels like I've fallen straight into that bubble, and I'm not even fighting it anymore. This is just it. This is my baseline now. It's not like I'm having "depressive episodes" where the bubble hits me suddenly... I'm living inside the damn bubble. That's just my reality. Every once in a while, I manage to shove my head through the membrane just to take a deep breath, and then—*whoosh*—it sucks me right back in.

Alright, alright, I’m done with that whole vibe. If I’m not talking to a therapist, I’m certainly not playing these games in cyberspace. I haven't breathed a word to anyone about the heavy stuff happening under the surface, you know? I just needed to figure out why I was feeling so off. At the end of the day, you've basically got two choices: live or die.
When it hits you—that realization that you're mortal—it’s pretty heavy, but honestly? It’s kind of a rush too. I’m fighting for myself, trying to learn how to actually love life and save my energy. So, I started looking at what the world has to offer... everything from those cheesy self-help books and Hollywood movies to music, the Bible, various religions... you name it.
I wasn't looking for much. A little bit of my own fault, a little bit because of my surroundings... I'm young and I've made some massive mistakes. But hey, I'm doing better now. I'm actually proud of who I am.
Right now, I'm just drawing circles in the sand and praying nobody messes with my peace.
I'm only human, and there isn't anything about being human that's foreign to me.
Hey everyone, enjoy yourselves and stay well!
These are just words. I'm just Nick. The Earth is going to keep spinning long after we're gone.
And like a wise guy my dad's age once said... it all boils down to love and aggression. They're two sides of the same coin in nature. Logic is just a tool we use to process things because that's how we were raised, but words? Words are deceptive; they act like they're independent entities. Huxley writes something similar... it makes sense. Any claim about the truth is essentially a lie, because words are just flawed mediums.
Lauster says that emotions "come from different parts of the brain."
Death is the only absolute truth, and you have to accept that truth for your entire life.
And look, I'll keep writing as long as nobody's got a problem with it.
<truth is in nature😉
My biggest thing is writing songs. I really hope nobody finds themselves lost in this one... Susan Ortiz43 knows her English, so go ahead and read the lyrics.

Bohemian Rhapsody
- Mustapha Mustapha Mustapha Mustapha
- Mustapha Mustapha Mustapha Mustapha
Abrah im abrah im abrah im
Allah Allah Allah Allah will pray for you

Mama, just killed a man
put a gun against his head
Pulled my trigger, now he's dead
Mama, life had just begun
But now I've gone and thrown it all away - sing it
Mama, ooh
Didn't mean to make you cry -
If I'm not back again this time tomorrow -
Carry on, carry on, as if nothing really matters -

Too late, my time has come
Sends shivers down my spine -
Body's aching all the time
goodbye everybody - I've got to go -
Gotta leave you all behind and face the truth -
Mama, ooh
I don't want to die
I sometimes wish I'd never been born at all -

I see a little silhouetto of a man
Scaramouch, scaramouch will you do the fandango -
Thunderbolt and lightening - very very frightening me -
Galileo, Galileo,
Galileo, Galileo,
Galileo Figaro - magnifico -
But I'm just a poor boy and nobody loves me -
He's just a poor boy from a poor family -
Spare him his life from this monstrosity -
Easy come easy go -, will you let me go -
Bismillah! No -, we will not let you go - let him go -
Bismillah! We will not let you go - let him go
Bismillah! We will not let you go - let me go
Will not let you go - let me go (never)
Never let you go - let me go
Never let me go - ooo
No, no, no, no, no, no, no -
Oh mama mia, mama mia, mama mia let me go -
Beelzebub has a devil put aside for me -
for me -
for me -

So you think you can stone me - spit in my eye
So you think you can love me and leave me to die
Oh baby - can't do this to me baby
Just gotta get out - just gotta get right outta here

Ooh yeah, ooh yeah
Nothing really matters
Anyone can see
Nothing really matters, nothing really matters to me

Anyway the wind blows...

😉

..I was thinking about what Drew Richardson82 said regarding ego. Honestly? I think there’s more satisfaction in buying something for yourself with your own hard-earned cash than having someone hand it to you on a silver platter. If I had used my own money to buy a PC, I probably would've smashed it ten times over just to go out and buy a brand new one immediately... purely for the thrill of breaking something! It beats the absolute monotony of a boring life.
Also, my bike is killing my butt, and the tires have so much resistance that I can barely get anywhere. I'd love to upgrade to a high-end model—maybe something in the $2,200 range rather than just spending $333... hahahahah!
And man, if I had been paying my own way through college, I wouldn't have felt this massive pressure to finish everything by a strict deadline. I could have just taken it easy... stretched it out over 7, 8, 9, or even 10 years... or whatever pace I felt like choosing.
Students without degrees
Women without beauty
Dating without an apartment
Travelers without cash
Cheap music and heavy drinking
The lottery is their only obsession
Cheap music and heavy drinking
My lifestyle is a nightmare
Branimic Stulic is becoming more relevant by the day 🙂