Posts by Nathan Kelly5

Zachary James5 said:@ brightridge59

So, yesterday he’s screaming at my mom because her laundry was sitting in the tub when he wanted to shower. She asked him why he was yelling, and then he just starts hurling everything from the tub right at her face. I was standing just a foot away, staring him down, wondering why the hell he was even looking at me. Honestly? I was ready to throw hands.

He knows exactly where I stand. I told him straight up once: I don't trust you, and I think you actually want to see me fail.

As for the roommate situation—yeah, it was always like this. Things only started looking up after I finished high school. But before that mess with the roommates? It was constant.
Things with my mom are fine, though we aren't super close. She protects him, but she doesn't pretend he's a saint. She calls him out sometimes, which just makes him blow up and sulk (and honestly, she’s right to do it). She knows he's a psychological bully, but she tells me I have to put up with him if I want to make it through college.

Look, you aren't getting any support at home, and people can sense that—that’s why your roommates are taking advantage of you. You're likely doing all this just to fit in, or maybe out of fear that if you don't, you'll end up having no one.

You need to sort through two things. I dealt with a worse situation at home, so I recognize the pattern. You're still in that first phase where you're naively trying to make everything seem normal, and they're treating you like a pushover, saying stuff like, "Come on, kid, we fed and clothed you, and now you're talking back?" After that comes the resistance phase. I can see you're close to it—where you just snap and want to fight just to stand up for yourself (even if you're doing it the wrong way because you haven't learned any other way). Eventually, you realize that not even God can change them, not you. Once you accept that, you can move on. So, you need to reach that stage: focus on yourself, get through your degree, and leave them behind. You aren't their parent; they're adults, and they should handle their own issues. You won't expect your kids one day to fix your job or marriage problems, right? Just focus on your studies, find friends, a girlfriend, a social circle, and plan your career and your move. Be grateful to your parents for making college possible, but that doesn't mean they were right or behaving correctly. You'll eventually realize they probably didn't know any better.

The second thing is, toughen up a bit. Show some teeth to those losers at the dorm who are using you. The issue is that you don't know how to stand your ground yet, because you never had to do it with your own family, and you're only just starting to test these boundaries now. Don't worry, it'll come naturally. And honestly, most of the people in the dorm are just losers anyway. Once you get further along in college, you'll see that people mature enough that they stop bothering others and just mind their own business. Start doing that now.

And regarding what your dad said about you needing to "toughen up"—maybe he's not entirely wrong. Once you learn how to stand up to him, you'll be able to handle anyone, including the guys at the dorm. Consider it practice. In a few years, you'll realize your parents are the least of your worries; you'll be on your own path soon enough.

Peter Phillips32 said:It’s nothing but pure profit, really. Just a massive cash grab targeting suckers.
People who would much rather deal with the exhaustion of actual hard work
than the literal backaches from sitting on their butts all day.
Instead, they try to manifest their dreams
through that ridiculous concept of Quote : The Secret,
which is just absolute, bottom-of-the-barrel stupidity.

I wouldn't call them foolishness or a scam, though I don't read those books myself. I think anyone who has ever taken a sport seriously could explain it better: without desire and absolute faith, you can't achieve anything at all. It isn't a magic bullet, but without it, you aren't going anywhere.

The power of desire is immense, but only when used to commit yourself to a single objective. "Tonight, I don't need company or a shoulder to cry on; I have poured everything I am into this one goal. I will either be a winner or a loser, and my name will reflect that. No one else can provide the motivation to try again. I have to do it all alone, and I am alone. That is why tonight, I feel completely solitary." 😍🤣

I wouldn't say I feel pity, but I don't think that makes me a bad person—I still help out whenever I can. It’s not about sympathy; it’s just that helping people makes me feel good. Besides, I tend to stay much calmer in unexpected situations than most people do.

To be honest, my empathy levels are pretty low. When a close relative passed away, nobody else could even bring themselves to go identify the body. Everyone was falling apart, yet there I was at twenty years old, handling the whole thing without any trouble at all. The only time I truly feel empathy is when I've actually wronged someone (which isn't often), and then I feel absolutely terrible about it.

As for these minor human struggles, I don't really feel any pity. My first thought is usually just how incompetent people are being, though I make sure to act supportive regardless.

There is a clear "too big to fail" doctrine applied to major banks. In the States, that would be JPMorgan Chase and Bank of America; if there were ever a systemic shock, they would be the ones receiving maximum protection. So, in the event of a massive liquidity crisis, I suspect nothing else would even be on the table besides those two.

Christian Harris2 said:Quite a few. Though, I suppose I wouldn't want those qualities to just suddenly drop from the sky into my life all at once.
I feel like the journey you take to build yourself up as an individual is actually what matters most when it comes to developing character.

I guess you can't truly realize how good something is until you've experienced just how bad things can get. I think the same applies to one's own character.

Well said..

Jerry Martinez5 said:The topic isn't irrelevant, but it’s far from finished since we haven't forced you to actually define what makes someone special in your eyes. Unless, of course, you think they have to be Einstein or Mussolini 😁

Have you never encountered someone who truly stands out from the crowd? A piercing gaze, a sharp intellect, a resilient spirit, character, charisma, or a profound sense of integrity?

The day after a hangover is actually my favorite part..

Tyler Myers5 said:Well, I suppose both those deemed "unattractive" and those considered merely "average" are simply what they are 🤷

What kind of people—just good enough to be eye candy? Not really. It seems her environment has taught her that she doesn't need to try; just smiling is enough to get by. She doesn't have to be unintelligent or backward, but she clearly struggles to make an impact. It can't be easy for her either, knowing that 99% of the people around her likely just want to use her, whether as a trophy or something else entirely.

Tyler Myers5 said:Well, I suppose there isn't much point in lying to her, 🤷
if she's attractive, then she's attractive. 🙂

True, but they clearly only see her that way...

I suspect the real issue lies more with the environment surrounding her, which perceives her that way, rather than how she actually is.

Spot on.

He can spin a hundred different thoughts and view himself through a hundred different lenses; there’s no way you could deconstruct a single sentence like that, let alone me.

Just because someone chooses to phrase things a certain way doesn't necessarily mean anything.

I haven't the slightest clue.
I don't know.
I don't have the time.
Impossible.
No chance.
Sorry, I just can't get to it.
I'm afraid I'm simply not up to the task.
I usually consider myself quite sharp, but this is impossible.
I have high opinions of my own intellect, but this is genuinely difficult.

Why does the way he phrased it interest you so much?

velvettiger90 said:I’m dealing with the exact same thing... When I’m talking to people I don't know very well, or haven't really bonded with yet, it feels like my brain is redlining at a hundred miles an hour, just constantly spiraling through thoughts like "what do I say next, what do I say next, how do I not look ridiculous or awkward, what on earth are they thinking about me right now" and by the end of it, I either shut down completely or just blurt out something totally stupid much to my own chagrin.😠I definitely haven't mastered the art of casual conversation, and I'm convinced it's because I'm overthinking every single syllable. Sometimes I just sit there watching people and wondering how they manage to keep a conversation flowing without stopping for air, where they even find these topics, and how they can be so incredibly relaxed about the whole thing...🤷

I went through something similar, though not constantly. Standard conversations are fine; people usually find me interesting and enjoy listening to me. However, if someone tried to take a jab at me or made a negative comment, I would completely freeze up. It’s better now, though I have no idea how I fixed it—it just faded away over time. 🤷

Don't let it weigh on you too much. Try to spend more time with people you feel comfortable and relaxed around, and eventually, that click will happen naturally... 🤷

Alex Patel96 said:I knew it! 🙏 I smelled the homophobia coming off this user from a mile away. Go join a church or go live in the woods. ☕
Actually, scratch that—even in the woods, the devil runs the show!🙂

You're being ridiculous, so she wasn't wrong.

As far as I'm concerned, do whatever you want, but why bother cluttering the board and driving up the topic count if that's how it's going to be?

feralcobra92 said:I totally get where you're coming from! What I'm really trying to wrap my head around here is how I should actually handle myself when things get intense. My supposed "good intentions" don't even matter in this equation. The real issue is that I am just so fundamentally different from them that I can't truly grasp their logic, which makes it incredibly tough to predict how they're going to react.

Take it from me, strictly on a professional level: don't let them walk all over you.

Jerry Martinez5 said:Completely wrong. How old are you?

When dealing with coworker issues, ignoring them is usually best. If you play it cool, they'll eventually give up. If things escalate to the point where they're lying to management, then your only move is to request a meeting with your supervisor.

Look, I finished college. I work at a place where 80 percent of the staff is below me in the hierarchy. So what if the secretaries, delivery drivers, or janitors have opinions about me? Of course I care about getting along with everyone, so I try to be polite. But naturally, they probably think I'm some idiot making three times their salary for doing nothing. What else would a cleaner, whose back aches from physical labor, think when she walks by my desk and sees me reading papers? Just as I don't think the CEO deserves five times my salary, she doesn't think I do either. I just try to make her life easier and stay kind, and that's it. I'm certainly not going to convince her that I deserve a higher pay grade.🙂

That’s your perspective, and if it works for you, fine. Personally, I wouldn't spend a single minute working somewhere where my contributions aren't valued, regardless of the paycheck. There are more important things in life than money. Work should be fulfilling and liberating. 😂

feralcobra92 As follows:
I’m not exactly young, but I’ve managed to stay clear of that kind of nonsense so far. I’ve always been an upfront, open person by nature, and frankly, I just don't have the stomach for those kinds of dirty games.

They picked up on that, which is exactly why this is happening; they saw an easy target, and that’s all they need to feed. I'm quite a bit younger than you, but I can tell you from experience that two years in the military teaches you more about dirty games than almost anything else—only there, you aren't just dealing with them for eight hours a day, but twenty-four. You simply have to learn how to hold your ground. It's unfortunate you're facing this now, but there's no sense dwelling on it; just take it as a challenge to overcome. If you feel like you can't handle it, then perhaps it's time to look for a new job.

I wouldn't recommend being too soft about it. Word travels fast when you leave a job because of harassment, and there's a real risk your new employer might pick up on that same pattern. It’s like when students bully a teacher until they're completely broken; the teacher moves to a different school thinking the problem is solved, but people notice the trauma immediately. You can see it in their eyes—that loss of confidence—and then the cycle just repeats itself. You really have to set firm boundaries on day one, otherwise, it only gets harder to reclaim your footing.

I have a story from my first job back when I was a student. I was working some low-level side gig just to scrape together enough cash to head to Prague with friends for New Year’s. My supervisor was clearly a piece of work—he had learned from his predecessor that being rude and condescending was perfectly acceptable, and he applied that exact same attitude to me. I gave him a warning on my first day, which he just brushed off with a smirk. On the second day, the man suffered a technical knockout. Even then, I politely asked if he needed me to call 911 while he was lying there. Perhaps it isn't the "right" way to handle things, especially given he was twenty years older than me, but I didn't do it for his sake—though he certainly could have used the lesson. I did it for myself.

driftinggull21 said:1. Do not respond publicly to provocations; nothing infuriates those types more than realizing you are above their petty behavior.
2. Maintain a standard of absolute professionalism and politeness in all public interactions.
3. Such matters should be handled privately, without witnesses, once you engage what I call "psycho mode."
4. I do not believe running away is a solution.

Nonsense. First off, if she acts like it doesn't bother her when it clearly does, she’ll just drive them even crazier. Second, you absolutely cannot settle these things one-on-one; in that setting, he'll just act like he has everyone else's backing, and nothing will change.

Call an emergency meeting with all of them immediately—you should have done that on day one. Try saying something like: "I've called this meeting because certain rumors and comments have reached me. I'm not interested in the drama, but if this starts affecting our productivity, I will be forced to implement changes—not for my own sake, but out of responsibility to my role and to our company. That is all, thank you for your time."

AMEN.

If you can't or won't hold your ground like that, then maybe you aren't cut out for this position and should find a job with less responsibility.

Unfortunately, many young professionals today don't take these dynamics seriously until they're actually facing them and realize they're out of their depth, despite being well-educated and bright. Intelligence alone isn't enough to navigate this; you need confidence and authority. You can't deal with hardball players with a "friendly" attitude, or you won't get far. Business is business. On the other hand, be careful—make sure your supervisor is aware of the situation and has your back. Just like in football, it's much easier for management to fire a coach than twenty players.

I’m dealing with something similar to you, though yours isn't my only addiction.

First, I have the same obsession you do: numbers. Statistics, math—it was always my thing. As a kid, I’d spend days lost in them, filling up notebooks, and even thinking about them right before bed. I can't quite pin down the draw, but maybe it’s because numbers don't lie; there's a comfort in that kind of exact science.

Then there’s soccer. Honestly, it was my escape from a really rough childhood. People say I was born with a ball at my feet, and I played whenever and however I could; it was my only source of joy. It’s become pathological. I read about how dopamine works—how you get hooked on that rush, and without it, you fall into depression. That’s likely it. For me, it’s extreme; when I play, I go into this trance, much like an addict chasing a high. Then comes the inevitable injury and the forced break. Given how obsessed I am with both the game and the stats, I probably didn't have time to develop a second addiction back then. Nowadays, I play in tournaments—mostly the ones with prize money—and naturally, that money ends up going toward gambling.

Ultimately, I think I’m just trying to fill a void left by that missing dopamine hit. I jump from one addiction to the next because, without that rush, I don't feel alive. I don't know how else to put it.

The worst part is that I’m self-aware. Like you, I understand exactly what’s happening, but I still feel this desperate need to fill the emptiness inside. If I don't get that adrenaline or that specific feeling, everything just feels gray and lifeless. Nothing "normal" provides any sense of satisfaction.

I know people will judge me and wonder how someone could act this way, but I wouldn't wish their struggle on anyone. I realize this isn't something you "cure"—you just manage it. I can learn to live a "normal" life, but I doubt I'll ever find even 2% of the fulfillment I find in these pursuits.

I’m 22, but I feel like I’m 52. I’ve become emotionally numb. On top of all that, I spent a year and a half serving in the military (mostly chasing that same adrenaline rush). School was never an issue for me; I was always a perfectionist. I only went to college because my parents pushed me into it. I’ll finish in a few years, but I don't care about the degree at all—it feels like I'm just earning it to satisfy them.

There’s one more thing, but I’m not going to talk about it.