Posts by urbantinker8

Dana Brown8 said:I saw an email saying you posted a popcorn emoji
but I don't see it anywhere right now. 😢

It was there, and then it just vanished.🤷

What a fight, honestly!😁

Yeah, I suppose that makes sense, though I still don't quite grasp what you mean by this specific kind of intolerance.
The whole point of this thread was supposed to be about the things that actually get under our skin while we're pregnant.
So, I guess I just laid it out pretty clearly when I mentioned how much it rattles me—amongst other things—dealing with those older folks who seem to flip-flop between being totally energetic one minute and barely able to move the next.
But hey, whatever.

Samuel Ross60 said:No, I didn't conclude that, good grief, don't be such an argumentative type!

I wasn't suggesting that you personally are intolerant, rather I was expressing my lack of understanding regarding this general intolerance toward the elderly, but it seems you insist on taking every single post as a direct personal affront.

But if you weren't referring to my post, then who on earth was it directed at?😕🤷

Samuel Ross60 said:No one is claiming I have to agree with you, but surely I am allowed to voice an opinion that happens to contradict yours, right?

I still get up, too—I’ll stand up right now if I decide someone else is having a harder time than I am, regardless of whether the other ignorant people around me stay seated.

My point is simply that it irritates me how many people only start pretending to care about manners once they themselves become the ones who are weaker or less healthy.

Right, and you immediately decided that I was one of those types of people.🙄
Whatever.

Of course you can share your opinion, but maybe you don't need to label me as being intolerant toward the elderly just because I'm calling out how some people act on the subway.
Because, I mean, we both know that some folks will practically sprint toward an empty seat the second they spot one.
It isn't about being intolerant; it's just observing a pretty common reality.

Samuel Ross60 said:I don't see eye to eye with you on this at all; I find myself picking up the pace just to secure a seat, and while it’s a struggle to move that quickly only to end up collapsing into a chair completely winded, I'd much rather deal with that than endure standing for three whole stops.

What I am actually curious about is how many of you were actually offered seats when you were older or pregnant, because personally, I always base my expectations on my own experience. If I was always given a seat, then I certainly have the right to complain when I'm ignored, but if I wasn't, well...

But we are drifting off-topic now.

I mean, why would you even feel the need to agree with me in the first place?🤷
It isn't that I'm refusing to run for the bus during my pregnancy or anything; it's more that I can barely manage to step onto a low-floor city bus without struggling.
Since walking is heavy and standing is even harder right now, I guess it follows that running isn't really an option either.

I haven't really sat down on buses or subways for years, mostly relying exclusively on public transit for my commute to work.
Back when I used to sit, I always made sure to yield my spot to seniors, pregnant women, or small children...
Which is exactly why all this is getting under my skin, because it makes me feel like one of those rare idiots who actually bothers to follow some kind of outdated social etiquette.

Samuel Ross60 said:I wasn't attempting to draw any comparisons regarding who has it harder, because simply stating that someone else is struggling doesn't mean your own experience with pregnancy is somehow less taxing.
I am not disputing anyone's situation, nor am I trying to downplay what others are going through. However, looking at the entirety of this subway situation, it isn't just composed of elderly passengers; there are younger people in there too who are perfectly capable of standing up.

I'm specifically referring to the section of the post where the author mentions older folks rushing for the subway and compares them to pregnant women.

Sure, plenty of people could probably stand up—teenagers, retirees, middle-aged folks. But the reality is, they often don't.
And as for those seniors rushing to catch the bus or the train—well, we all see that happen.
It might not be that hard for them to sprint a little bit to snag a seat, but staying on their feet for two stops? That's where the struggle actually lies.
Please, give me a break...🙄
Someone who is truly struggling to stay upright probably isn't the type to be sprinting or elbowing their way through a crowd just to grab a chair.☕

Samuel Ross60 said:Precisely. If I end up becoming one of those people myself, then I’ll have absolutely no right to complain about anything later on.

Furthermore, I find this pervasive intolerance toward the elderly to be utterly baffling; of course they’re going to rush for the subway or the bus, because they are well aware that nobody is going to get up to offer them a seat. These are seniors, and while I realize there are all sorts of personalities out there, life is simply harder for them. They are old.
We are all eventually going to reach that stage of life—hopefully—and we will likely behave exactly the same way, especially since every subsequent generation seems to be getting more difficult to manage.

As for the rude individuals who clearly never learned how to behave in public, I’m perfectly happy to give them a quick lesson in basic etiquette; their behavior doesn't affect me, and I see no reason why I should suffer through someone else's discomfort just to be polite.

It doesn't necessarily mean things are difficult for them just because of their age.
Maybe, in a given moment, someone who's feeling physically exhausted, maybe has a kid running around them and a dozen grocery bags in their hands, finds standing much harder than some 70-year-old gentleman would.
I mean, it wouldn't hurt him to stay standing for maybe three stops.
Besides, manners aren't really tied to age; it’s not about how old you are, it's just that, I guess, that kind of attitude is baked into our culture.☕

mellowranger16 said:That’s how it went for me. Usually, my husband doesn't come along because he can't get away from work, but once, when he did go, he actually stood up for me. I just hope people all over the US are following this thread at least! For heaven's sake, show some respect for pregnant women.

Honestly, it feels like a lost cause.
On the subway, they play those announcements asking passengers to please give up their seats to the elderly, people with disabilities, pregnant women and parents with small children, but everyone just sits there acting like they’re too busy or too important to care.

I guess people just don't get it, you know?🙂

Sam Baker6 said:😂😂 Truth.😂
In the past, I’ve had people approach me looking quite frail, practically needing assistance to stay upright. Yet, one can never be too certain; perhaps in another life, they might have even tripped me just to ensure they were the first ones onto the bus.😂

Isn't that just how it goes?🤣

I mean, I’ll be sitting there on the light rail, looking out the window and seeing some poor elderly lady at a stop, clutching her cane and a couple of heavy grocery bags, and my heart just sinks a little bit; I honestly wish I could just reach out and pull her right onto the train myself, but then the doors slide open, and suddenly this woman transforms into some kind of superhero, darting toward the one empty seat available with absolute lightning speed.🙄

Jonathan Wright4 said:Honestly, what kills me most is how it’s way more likely you’ll get released by some elderly folks who can barely stay upright themselves rather than anyone actually young.

I don't know, I find that a little hard to buy, mostly because those same seniors who seem to be struggling just a second ago always seem to be the fastest and most agile when there’s an open register at Target or a vacant seat on the subway.🙄
I’ve noticed that for a long time now, and it isn't just something I picked up from watching pregnant women.

Jonathan Wright4 said:Well, the one time I actually got a break during this pregnancy, it was a Cashier at Walmart. 🙂 There were still 5 or 6 people ahead of me, but as soon as she spotted me, she practically jumped up from her station and yelled, "Move it, everyone move! Let this lady go first—can't you see she's pregnant and has a kid with her? Have some decency!" 🙂

I guess those Cashiers aren't really what they used to be, either.😁
And honestly, they probably couldn't even see me through that crowd of seniors who are all pushing their way to the front, trying their absolute hardest to make sure they don't miss their window... if you know what I mean.🙂

Jonathan Wright4 said:They just don't care. I feel you—I'm currently heavily pregnant with a four-year-old who definitely doesn't have the patience to stand still in line, all while trying to manage a huge grocery haul. And yet, not a single soul pays attention. 🙂

I'm right there with you! 🙂

I feel like I've been venting on this thread for months now, almost hoping that maybe, just maybe, I'll eventually see a day where someone actually stands up for me on a bus or lets me skip ahead in line. 😢

So far, during my first pregnancy: absolutely nothing. Not once, not anywhere. 😲

But then, during this one—just this one single time—some middle-aged woman on a bus near the river looked at me while I was with my little one and said she knew exactly how it felt because she had four kids of her own. 🙂

It's kind of sad, really.

Jonathan Wright4 said:Honestly, I wouldn’t even care if they told me "no," but I just wish they'd have the decency to actually ask—you know, show just a tiny shred of basic human empathy and common sense. But nope. Not happening. This has already gone down twice during my pregnancies, once with my last one and now again with this one.

That’s really the crux of it, isn't it?
If only someone would actually acknowledge you for a second!
But instead, I’m just standing there at the Walmart Cashier with maybe two items in my hand—because, honestly, I can barely carry anything else right now—and everyone is just acting like I'm invisible.
I can't help but wonder if people have become so wrapped up in their own little worlds that they genuinely don't notice anyone else, or if they're just incredibly rude and don't care about that whole "priority for pregnant women with small kids" thing at all.🤮

Laura Barnes42 said:They basically just stare at their own stomachs and then fixate on the ceiling. They just totally ignore you. Fine, you saved yourself maybe seventeen seconds of life by not letting me through, so make sure you spend those precious seconds wisely! ☕
I had a moment today where a young (and quite handsome 😁) guy stood up for me on the bus. He offered his seat, and I was genuinely thankful. But honestly, that feels like the absolute peak of civility—someone standing up on a bus. When it comes to doctors' offices, grocery stores, or any other everyday situation, people seem to have zero manners left.

Sam Baker6 usually only hears that kind of stuff from women who are well over a hundred years old, clinging to those old-fashioned, traditionalist views. (It reminds me of that one comment an uncle made to a little girl—just completely inappropriate. 😂)
Personally, I find the whole thing pretty hilarious; I don't let it get under my skin.

I can't even say this irritates me anymore.
It’s basically become a personal trauma at this point.🙂

It isn't that I'm invisible—I'm certainly wider than I am tall, and my stomach looks like I might be due any minute—but still!
THEY just don't see me: at the restroom, on the bus, on the subway, or even at the CIA.

Nobody notices when I'm (barely) standing there just waiting my turn.😢

Susan Martin4 said:I’m not milking anything here, yet I keep getting told I should be. It’s always the same cycle—either more questions follow or a long-winded explanation about how I might actually be able to milk something 🙂

No matter how you look at it—and I mean really scrutinize it from every possible angle—it just doesn't seem right. I guess there isn't any way to spin this one to make it work, though I suppose people will always try to find a silver lining if they squint hard enough. It’s just fundamentally flawed, I think.

It’s funny how that works, I guess—the moment you mention you aren't breastfeeding, it's like you've triggered some sort of collective parental instinct in everyone around you, and suddenly there's this sudden, overwhelming flood of unsolicited advice on exactly what steps you need to take to somehow "fix" the situation so you can succeed at it.
I guess if you mention that you’re breastfeeding, you should probably brace yourself for a certain kind of interrogation, because people seem to have a lot of thoughts on it. It feels like as soon as the words leave your mouth, everyone starts asking how much longer you plan on doing it, or—if the baby is already a bit older—you get that specific, slightly judgmental look followed by the inevitable, "Wait, you're *still* nursing?" It’s almost like there's this unwritten rulebook everyone follows about when it’s supposed to stop, and if you aren't following their timeline, they feel the need to weigh in, I suppose.😲

Well, I suppose you all just collectively lost your minds at once.☕

Susan Martin4 said:urbantinker8, and then it gets even weirder... I’ve actually had total strangers approach me and ask if I'm breastfeeding. Like, what? Why on earth would anyone need to know that about me? 🤷
Before this happened, I honestly thought girls who posted about this stuff were just being dramatic. 🙈

I feel you on this.🙄
Honestly, one of the most annoying questions in the entire universe is: "Are you breastfeeding?" 🙂

And it wasn't just women either... men have asked me that too... 🙂🙂

Every single time, I kind of felt like grabbing a baby bottle and squirted it in their eye just so they could see for themselves. ☕

It honestly gets under my skin how every single woman I run into, whether it’s at the grocery store, walking through the park, or just riding the subway, feels the need to ask me what gender the baby is.😕
Maybe I’m just being old-fashioned or perhaps I'm just losing my mind, but I don't think I have ever once felt the urge to walk up to a total stranger on the street and ask them about their baby's sex just for the sake of it.🤷

Susan James said:To be honest, I feel that way about pretty much every subject, not just foreign languages. Looking back at some of the comments from a few pages ago, it seems like things are viewed differently when it comes to staying in the US.🤷

In that sense, most kids are going to be more independent with their schoolwork if they're at a 7.5 level rather than a 6.5.🤷

That shouldn't really be taken as an absolute rule, though.
There are so many different factors that go into how independent a child becomes, and I suppose age is really just one small part of the equation.

Susan James said:Well, by the time they hit 8.5, they're already in second grade.
Plus, quite a few schools around JPMorgan Chase don't even offer after-school programs after first grade. So even if they were available, based on how this is being described, I wouldn't even sign my kid up for one until second grade (and honestly, that one year makes a huge difference).

And looking at it from the perspective of someone getting the chance to play in preschool versus spending 8 hours stuck in an elementary school;🤷 I much prefer the first option.

Just a side note: I'm sure preschools vary wildly in terms of what they offer and how engaging they are. Some kids just never "click" with preschool and find it much easier when they finally start formal school. Also, some after-school programs are wonderful, nurturing environments, while others are basically just an extension of the classroom where they have to grind through work—except maybe for Spanish homework, since the supervisor probably doesn't know it (and let's face it, most parents wouldn't either, so I'm not sure how much help a kid would actually get).

Maybe they could just check their watches and solve the problem on their own without feeling such an urgent need to have someone double-check their work?🤷