Posts by velvetcobra65

George Ramos13 said:Reading this now... Look, I'm no shrink, but if I were in your shoes, I'd probably look into getting tested. It's entirely possible you're on the autism spectrum, and honestly, getting a diagnosis and talking it through might actually make navigating daily life a whole lot easier.

I feel the same way... I literally can't even follow her train of thought..

Raymond Booth40 said:There is simply no way he can fall in love when he’s a true narcissist. He fell for me too, and look how that turned out. Now he claims he isn't interested in anyone else at all.

Whoa, you are seriously tripping right now...
My advice? Maybe try finally listening to what he actually told you. And honestly, listen to most people on this thread, too. He isn't going to be with you, he isn't going to marry you, and he's perfectly fine staying single until he's 40. He doesn't want marriage, kids, or a white picket fence. You’re so hyper-focused on this "relationship" of yours that you're completely missing the obvious—he doesn't want to be with you in the way you clearly want him to be. It's take it or leave it. Otherwise, you might just find yourself waiting until you're 40, praying that he suddenly decides to make things official just because he's getting older.

Betty Fowler said:My profile picture?

I'm sorry if I offended you somehow, but honestly, I don't even know who you are.

Why on earth would you need to know who I am? It’s enough that I know... who you are.

Just go back to the start, take a quick look at the thread, and move on... if you're looking for other kinds of "philias," maybe try searching the Dark Net, because Reddit isn't exactly stocked up on that stuff.

It’s actually tragic how today's youth can't find enough rape videos to properly educate themselves! I mean, nobody gets filmed anymore—it's all so amateur and pathetic... it would be great if someone just uploaded them to Reddit so kids could watch an episode of some trashy reality show mixed with a "how-to" guide on assault, then jump over to some fitness site to work out... and then boom, you'd become the most famous rapist in America. You know, where Kolinda hugs you more than she hugs the football players (and we all know what she's really fantasizing about there... despite all that screaming and scratching)... Thompson might even write a poem about you!!
It's just terrible how much the younger generation is being prevented from pursuing their true ambitions.

Betty Fowler said:But what does the origin of a fetish have to do with anything? If it’s a fetish, then by definition, it’s considered sexy.

Sure, just as sexy as your little coprophilia thing...
I guess you can find plenty of that on YouTube, enjoy.

Jessica Lee71 said:redbison8 is basically aiming to marry someone who comes with a mountain of debt and a chronic illness.

Is there some kind of award for being the most pathetic person on this forum this year, or should I just start a new thread?

No need, he’s already earned the crown; now he's just adding the glitter ☕
If he actually fell into a sewer, he'd probably pollute the whole thing.

Kate Jones2 said:I worked my way through college while helping out my parents, too. On paper, they own the place, but the liens on the house are basically equal to its market value. They don't have the cash, and—believe me—neither do I. I've managed to patch up parts of the house already, but we're talking about a place built in the late '60s, which means it needs a massive amount of investment. To me, $30–$40 is a huge sum regardless of what I make, because once I pay all the bills, I'm left with barely $333. Here is the breakdown:

$500 Commuting to work
$267 Electricity (don't even ask—I honestly have no clue, I think there's an issue with the wiring since I'm away from home most days, or maybe it's just old appliances)
$67 Water
$117 Utilities, trash pickup, and stuff like that
$500–$700 for car maintenance, since I work via 932 miles (that's my average monthly cost leveled out over the year)
$400 for rent and my cell phone
$2,000 for food (I don't have a functional kitchen, but I still have to eat, obviously)
About $333 per month for various house repairs
Around $500–$333 for unexpected expenses, like a burst pipe or things I can't really control

Just to get the bare minimum of a decent living situation set up right now, I'd need about $25,000–$30,000—and that's using the cheapest materials and doing the labor myself. Someone might think I'm exaggerating, but if you've ever stepped foot in a house from the late '60s, you probably realize exactly what needs replacing and just how much it all costs.

Thanks everyone for the replies, especially Lavazza.

Mytim asked why you took on so much responsibility. Honestly, I'm asking the same thing. It’s obviously overwhelming for someone your age, and even older people (which is clearly what your parents are proving by how they handle this) wouldn't be able to manage.
It would literally be cheaper for you to just move closer to where you work ($500 for commuting) and cut off the utilities (not completely, just pause them for a year) and use that money instead. But hey, if you're feeling masochistic, you could use it to pay down the debts on the house.
To be blunt—if your parents racked up all these loans or whatever on the house and now they're in Germany and can't cover it, why is it suddenly your job to fix everything? It sounds a bit egocentric, but it feels like you've spent your whole life looking out for yourself and them, and now you've basically become a slave to this house. Like velvetcobra65 said—yesterday you were living in Germany. Though, I guess if you're going to be stuck with your family's problems, you might as well try to build a new life for yourself here in America.

Sorry to be blunt, but if you’re pulling in like two grand a month—how are you even surviving without running water?

You actually have this chance to restart your life exactly how you want. To become whoever you want to be without all that baggage from your hometown or your past dragging you down. I guess when people are actually handed a real shot at a fresh start, they get this massive, paralyzing fear about whether it’s the right move. Just jump into the unknown; I'm pretty sure you'll land on your feet 👍
You're still incredibly young, and honestly, you haven't even finished becoming the person you're meant to be yet.

Joseph Bailey41;69529603People who got stuck on that path could probably use a lesson in humility—maybe even a healthy dose of being humbled—but preaching that kind of stuff to people who are actually decent and just trying their best? That’s honestly the absolute bottom of the barrel.

It feels like a practical handbook for learning how to grow thick skin and harbor petty grudges.[B says:
That brand of humility is purely Machiavellian—you're willing to endure anything, even humiliation, just to get what you want. Whether it's about securing a ticket to heaven [/B]or just sucking up to climb the ladder in government service, it’s all the same in the end.

From a religious standpoint, that approach is a straight-up no-go for getting into heaven. I mean, if you're only being a good person just to score a reward or a spot in paradise, then you aren't actually good at your core. You basically disqualify yourself...

I think you’re making a mistake by giving so much headspace to people who haven't been close to you for a long time. Honestly, we all just outgrow friends from different chapters of our lives; it’s just how it works.
Just focus on enjoying your engagement and building your future. Unfortunately, I guess you'll have to leave some people behind along the way.

I’m looking for some solid recommendations for a neuropsychiatrist or a neurologist—someone who actually knows their stuff, especially when it comes to dealing with dementia cases.

I noticed someone already mentioned Dr. Grbavac on this thread. Since I’m not in the US very often, I need somewhere reliable where I can take my father and feel confident we won't be stuck waiting six months just to end up with zero answers.

Sarah Nguyen96 said:It's sad, but we shouldn't be helping people like that. I know it sounds harsh, but that's how nature handles those who can't adapt. That's just evolution.
When you see someone in trouble, you should let them figure it out on their own.

I never helped anyone in need when I was a kid because I had nothing to give. Once I grew up, I realized looking back at my own past that leaving things as they are is for the best.
If you were in that kind of mess, you'd just take advantage of people's kindness for the rest of your life. If nobody ever helped you, you'd have to motivate yourself to actually achieve something and fight your way out, because nothing is ever just handed to you.

That's why it's better not to help. If I were poor and forced to dig holes just to survive, I'd rather die than suffer like that for my entire life. I believe most people living in poverty would rather end their misery than drag out such a miserable existence, if you can even call it living.

Even as a teenager, I knew how to split up whatever cash I had on me so I wouldn't end up totally broke... I knew I'd at least have food waiting for me at home, while they didn't... if someone forced them to beg, well, at least they might have gotten off the streets for a bit.
Believe me, life is going to shift your perspective quite a bit, and it'll shake everything you hold dear right down to the roots... if you think that old woman selling flowers couldn't have fought for a better life, then maybe you need to look at the world a little more closely. Nobody knows what's coming next... and we're all heading in the same direction. Toward old age, sickness...
If money were the only thing that brought happiness, we wouldn't have depressed rich people... and honestly, I know more people who are completely fucked up despite having tons of money than I do people who are struggling. It's not a rule, but it's certainly not an exception either.

Hmm, Radical, I’m not so sure I agree with you regarding how much porn actually drives the acceptance of trans identity, cross-dressing, or even just plastic surgery. It wasn't fifty years ago, but maybe thirty years back, Brigitte Nielsen was one of the most obvious examples of someone with implants. I don't think men were reacting with a massive "ew, look at her, she's a mess" vibe. To me, it feels more like demand was driving the supply when it comes to things like silicone, rather than the other way around.
As for cross-dressing and being trans—honestly, plenty of cultures throughout history have had their own versions of drag, trans identities, or specific roles for people. Everyone seemed to have their own designated spot in society, whether it was religious, cultural, or whatever.
One thing I find interesting is that when people talk about this topic, they almost always focus on male-to-female transitions. But there's a pretty significant number of people born female who feel like men. Are they not considered a threat? 😁

mistyotter44 I guess I should start by saying that what was just said is pretty much nonsense. Honestly, it’s hard to even know where to begin with this kind of logic. Maybe I’m being too harsh, but I really can't wrap my head around how anyone could look at the facts and come to such a wild conclusion. It feels like we're just spinning our wheels here.
I'm gonna prove you wrong.

It’s like that one guy who rolls into town in a brand-new BMW, acting like he's king of the world. Fast forward ten years, and suddenly everyone else on the block is driving an even better model than his.

You’ve got like a million self-published authors on Amazon these days. Honestly, probably 90 percent of the picture books and movies out there are straight-up junk. But that’s just how it works now—everything sells because there's always some niche buyer for even the worst stuff. I guess it just goes to show that you don't really need any actual intelligence to make a living anymore.

You just proved my point exactly—it’s all about having too much time, way too much money, and zero self-awareness. We have thousands upon thousands of people out there calling themselves "writers" these days. You see this exact correlation between wealth, ego, and the supposed "evolution" of art and personality playing out every single day. Take Kim Kardashian, for example. My honest guess? She’ll end up right alongside the Kardashians as one of the greatest literary figures of our time, standing shoulder to shoulder with legends like Tolstoy, Dostoevsky, and Steinbeck.😁

mistyotter44 said:Your answer is shaped by your own modest perspective, which leads to a limited conclusion. I have already explained the full scope of this: money serves as a milestone of pure energy.

Sorry, but that's total bullshit. You could have billions in the bank, but it won't turn you into a painter if you don't have the talent. Only someone with an infinite ego—which, let's be honest, might actually be infinite—could claim that growth is endless.
Look, our basic needs are pretty much the same for everyone; the only real difference is how much we set aside to cover them. Everything else? That just comes down to who you are as a person. For some people, wealth brings happiness because it opens doors, but for others, it just breeds anxiety.

mistyotter44 said:It really could be limitless. Just think about it this way: imagine spending your entire life grinding away just to make ends meet. Now, picture if you had an endless supply of capital at your disposal—just imagine how much faster you could scale your ambitions and truly move the needle on your goals.

How much would you actually progress? I don't think we're quite that unlimited. 😉
First off—it really depends on the person. For some, cash is the end goal; for others, it’s just a tool. Some people would just pile it up for themselves, while others would chase status symbols. Instead of a basic car, they'd buy something worth hundreds of thousands of dollars (personally, I always feel bad for those Ferrari owners who drive them like they're stuck in heavy traffic, barely hitting 30 mph most of the week and maybe 80 when they actually step on it)
Does money mean anything special to me personally? It buys food, clothes, and pays the bills. If I had less, I’d probably just buy cheaper stuff or buy less often, but would I be absolutely miserable? I don't think so.
In a normal scenario—more money usually means more work, more responsibility, and more time stolen from your free time just to focus on the job that brings in the extra cash. Sure, you might travel to fancier places, but you'd only get five days there instead of two weeks spent chilling on a beach in Miami.
In an ideal world—I hit the jackpot, help my family, buy the house I need, and have some extra funds set aside for the kids when they grow up (as long as they don't find out 😁)
Maybe I'd be more relaxed, but automatically happier? I doubt it.

Carl Rivera43 said:Man, you’re totally right. Honestly, sometimes people just see everything through this gray, pessimistic lens because of all these unnecessary pressures they're dealing with.

There are some things happening in this world that we just can't control, no matter how much they hurt...
All we really have is control over how we process it all. We’re all here for such a short time. Why on earth would we waste what little life we have by staring at nothing but gloom? Why choose to be gray just because the world feels gray?
And honestly, especially now—when my time eventually comes—I want people to remember me with a smile. I want them to remember me smiling, helping out, dancing, just being full of life and love... I want my kids to tell stories about how I was the kind of mom who made Mickey Mouse shaped pancakes, or how they remember me singing them to sleep. Even if I got angry sometimes, I want them to remember how they learned the art of irony from me. I want them to learn that it doesn't matter where you're headed, but how many butterflies you managed to blow away along the way. I want them to say they learned to believe in themselves because I taught them that you can fall, sure, but you've gotta know how to get back up, brush off the dust, wipe your tears, and just keep moving.
Maybe think about that for a second. It’s not even about how random strangers remember you; maybe someone is having a totally fucked up day, and your simple smile is the one thing that actually cheers them up because nobody else bothered to.

Carl Rivera43 said:It feels like narcissism, arrogance, and pure greed have become the ultimate status symbols in this day and age.

I guess you’d hear the exact same thing a hundred years ago, or a thousand, or two. People don't actually change as fast as we think they do. In my opinion, humans have always been the same; it’s just the way we show it that shifts. You’re always going to have empathetic people, narcissists, people who would give you the shirt off their back, and then those who whine about having nothing just to suck the attention out of a room. I think it’s wrong to assume that people who stay positive had easy lives or are just being superficial...
From where I'm sitting, the bigger issue is that people tend to take cheerful folks for granted. They write them off as shallow just because they don't bash their heads against a wall every time life gets heavy...
My mom passed away three weeks ago... and man, it’s incredibly hard. We were close, and even though I moved out on my own early, she was always my home—that place you go to hide away until the storm passes. I cry, but I cry alone. Do people really think it isn't hard for me to not have anyone to just hold me and say, "it'll be okay, you won't feel this broken forever"? Just because I don't walk around looking like a dark cloud when I'm out in public? Just because I don't fall apart in front of everyone? When people actually ask how I am, I tell them the truth... but at the end of the day, I still have to deal with it all by myself. No one can carry my grief for me. I can talk about other things (and I have to), I can support others, I can encourage them...
I am my parents' daughter. They went through so much nonsense with a smile, working their tails off without ever complaining. They genuinely cared about how people were doing, without feeling the need to brag about how they grew up with nothing or how hard they had to work jobs that had zero to do with their degrees... At my mom's funeral, there were over two hundred people there... and about a hundred of them weren't even family, just friends. Everyone saw her more like a sister because she stayed in touch with everyone, even when life was absolutely tearing her apart. Mostly because that's just who she was.
Smile, no matter how rough life gets. Life is as beautiful as it is difficult. With a smile, you might at least brighten someone else's day as you pass by. Even if it's just to make them laugh at the idea that you're not "normal," because honestly, who actually laughs when everything around us feels so gray and miserable...

boldnomad45 said:This is the cold, hard truth. When I lived in London, it was the first time I realized how much more carefree and bright people could be. It made me realize how normalized it has become here to see nothing but grim, anxious faces.
Over there, regardless of age or race, people have smiles. They don't carry that heavy weight on their expressions. On the very day I moved back to the States, I saw a girl, maybe seventeen, on a subway with a look of pure anxiety etched on her face. She lacked that lightness; she just had frustration and worry. You don't realize it until you experience the difference, because you assume this is just how things are. It isn't. It's just how our society turned out. Not enough jobs for everyone, so it's just a constant, exhausting struggle.

I've noticed that too—even kids don't really feel safe playing out on the street with any kind of joy anymore...
After spending too much time around miserable people who are constantly stuck in a negative headspace—you know, the type where nothing is good, everyone sucks, everyone hates them, and they're just bitter—it actually gives me a headache. It feels like I haven't slept in days. I've started pulling back from trying to be the "bright side of life" person because, frankly, it just drains my energy.
Regarding the war—look, I lived through a war too, as a kid. We were basically living on the edge, bouncing between different relatives' houses and apartments... but we were never this negative. Yeah, it was tough, and I spent a good chunk of my childhood wearing hand-me-downs, but that didn't crush my spirit. I think even back when I was wearing my grandma's old stuff, I was still myself, and believe me, I drew more attention with my goofy outfits than those girls wearing designer brands (maybe just a different era😁). I still think people approach me more easily today because I'm friendly and I smile. But, hey, I don't want to seem superficial, so sometimes I have to put on my "fuck off" face just to get by.😉

Carl Rivera43 said:But isn't it just human nature? If someone’s had a string of terrible luck, it makes sense they'll look for excuses—at least for a little while, until they finally get back on their feet.

But what happens when that "temporary" phase just becomes who you are? Like, am I supposed to be perpetually pissed off because I got a crappy birthday gift ten years ago? Or maybe my boss threatened to fire me three years ago (he hasn't yet)—so now I'm just going to stay bitter and depressed for the next million years without actually doing anything to change it?
Seriously though, I’ve had my fair share of rough patches too. I lost my mother unexpectedly, my dad is dealing with some potentially serious health issues, I've had a bad marriage, and I've dealt with people who definitely took advantage of me... but I still make an effort to smile. I genuinely care about people. I believe in them. It doesn't cost me anything to smile at someone passing by or to strike up a conversation with a stranger. And when I ask, "How are you?", I actually mean it. I want to hear the real answer, not just the polite script. Because honestly, what’s the point of living if we just assume everything is bleak and hopeless? There are so many people out there—don't you notice how gray everything feels when you walk down a street and don't see a single smiling face?