Posts by Donna White50

Susan Walker said:So, if I’m running a sole proprietorship under the flat-tax system, can I open an LLC to handle online sales? Can I actually juggle both at once? Since my current setup doesn't allow for retail, wouldn't switching to an LLC mean paying much higher payroll taxes? Is it even worth the headache?

¸

You can totally do both—nobody's stopping you from opening a corporation alongside your small business. 🙂
If you’re already working somewhere else and paying into social security/benefits, you shouldn't technically have to pay yourself a formal salary as the director of your own company, but... definitely run that by an accountant first just to be safe...🙂
Also, don't forget—if you're doing e-commerce, you'll need to meet certain requirements for a warehouse space. A warehouse for storage needs the same stuff as a retail spot—so we're talking commercial zoning, a restroom with hot water, a fire extinguisher, a first aid kit, getting the electrical inspections done, and all that good stuff...

Richard Wells said:You’ve walked away from so many great things in life, yet you’re still out here acting like it’s a winning strategy? You’re basically choosing to lose on purpose at this point. I just don't see the logic.

Don't judge me...
I honestly don't know any other way to be. I never learned how—nobody ever showed me—and besides, whenever I actually tried opening up and being vulnerable, it just ended badly because I was dealing with the wrong people...
Other people seem to get it. They can do it, and they end up having much richer lives...
As for me, the only thing I feel like venting is pure aggression and some pretty nasty insults, but that doesn't hurt anyone but myself, so I don't even go there...

Carl Rivera43 said:So, I wanted to throw some thoughts out there regarding the main topic here.

Also, I’d love to hear your take on why alcohol seems to unlock such deep emotional layers for so many people?
Do you think that constantly bottling up our feelings eventually leads to total burnout and a loss of focus?

How do we explain this current era where hiding how we actually feel seems almost encouraged? Does seeing people who are overly emotional or brutally honest inspire you, or do you find those habits a bit much?

Anyway, those are just some jumping-off points for the discussion. Maybe in this online space, we can actually talk more freely about stuff like this—topics that rarely get any airtime in the mainstream media.
Do you ever dive into these kinds of deep conversations with your friends or people you know?

I’m basically a pro at hiding and suppressing my feelings...
It’s a habit from when I was a kid—growing up in a house where you couldn't really express yourself, and emotions weren't really "allowed" unless they were negative... I was never encouraged to open up.
Suppressing everything was just how I protected myself, how I survived, and how I kept myself from being too vulnerable...
Even now, it's incredibly hard for me to be open. Very few people actually know who I am... honestly, I still see opening up as a weakness. Being cold, closed off, and unapproachable feels like an advantage to me—when people don't know your weak spots and you keep them at arm's length, it keeps you from getting hurt and gives you a certain level of respect...
I've lost a lot of beautiful things in life because of acting this way, but I don't know any other way, and I don't feel like I'm allowed to change. I'm not capable of hurting others or truly reading the person in front of me, and if I did let my guard down, I'd probably just end up disappointed... I just don't put myself out there...🙄
In this crazy world we live in today, you have to wear a mask and only show your true self once someone has actually proven they deserve to see it...

northernsailor102 said:I’ve been sitting here for quite some time now, wrestling with thoughts of ending it all. Honestly, after observing the sheer absurdity of human existence and actually participating in this charade, I haven't been able to find a single legitimate reason to keep enduring this ongoing agony. It makes me wonder: what is your reason—or perhaps several reasons—for staying alive? Where does that primal urge for self-preservation and survival actually come from? What is it that forces you to keep going? What are you living for, what are you fighting for, or what have you dedicated your entire life to? Why is it that you manage to drag yourself out of bed every single morning?
I am not asking about some grand, cosmic purpose. I am asking about the practical, raw reasons why you choose to live over and over again.

I’m not gonna sit here and try to comfort you... you probably already know the deal—that humans are tiny and insignificant, that our lives don't have some grander purpose, that we’re all basically living in fairy tales and illusions, that we’re just big, replaceable voids, and that we can be pretty damn awful to ourselves and everyone else... you likely already know that... though maybe it would’ve been better if you didn't, so you could actually hold onto something positive, even if it's just some fake sense of faith or something...
Once you realize you can't run away from who you are, then you realize the only thing left to do is just accept it—accept that you've got very little time on your hands, and you might as well try to spend it however you can... Every morning when you wake up, you get to choose... whether you want to wallow, dwell on ending it all, or just head outside, take a walk, do something that actually makes you smile, or even just sit on a park bench and soak up the sun, the nature, the birds, and the world around you... Everything you feel, all the bad stuff and the good stuff, it's really just chemistry in your brain... feelings, sadness, joy—it’s all just tiny bits of hormones in your head... and that's what defines whether you decide to check out or tell yourself thanks for being alive, enjoying things, breathing deep, loving life and loving yourself...
Just accept that those shitty feelings are your choice and nothing more... you aren't taking anything you want from life, you're just letting negative energy hog all your headspace...
I don't know... personally, I find joy in everything—sex, feelings, just existing, experiencing new things, meeting people... I went through a massive depression years ago, and yeah, I still deal with plenty of issues, but I wanted to tell you that you can change everything if you really want to... It’s easy to say "I'll just kill myself and end the struggle"... you can do that whenever you want, right? So just try thinking on the bright side for a second... think about what you'd actually want, what would make you happy, and just go down that path...😉

Chris Cruz3 said:What actually drives a person into total self-delusion? Like, what messes with your head so much that you don't even recognize yourself anymore?
I'm just sitting here, totally stunned. What is wrong with me???
He cheated on me—and I knew. I knew everything, yet I still sat there swallowing every single lie he fed me, especially the ones I was feeding myself... if the truth had actually come out, it would have been over, but I just wasn't ready to let go.
It felt like it was slipping through my fingers... like trying to grab a fish that just slides away, and after you've fought, fallen, and refused to quit, you just end up standing there like an idiot wondering what the hell you were even doing.
I played his game perfectly. I’d leave and come back whenever he wanted, and if I ever tried to pull away too far, he always found a way to reel me back in. We kept going like that until I finally snapped and walked out without saying a word. Honestly, I don't think he's even sure why I left—though it feels like that might have been exactly what he wanted all along.
But wait, it gets worse. Even more than a year later, I know I’d jump right back in with him if I knew he actually wanted me. Am I insane???
That's why I don't reach out... and I pray to God I don't run into him somewhere. I have no clue what he wants. Maybe an explanation, maybe just to clear his conscience, who knows... but it would absolutely break me. Just thinking about him being with her makes my chest tighten.
What is wrong with me? I've never been this person, and right now, I can't tell if I'm more pissed at myself or at him.
I don't see us living in some white-picket-fence dream house together, but for God's sake, how am I supposed to get past any of this???... the manipulation, the lies, the secrecy... I don't even know if it was physical, but it doesn't matter... the intent was obvious. His heart was somewhere else entirely.
And when he crosses my mind, I don't think about the mess—I think about the way his eyes crinkled when he smiled, his touch, his kiss... and then I just get so mad at myself because I could never control how I felt when he was around. I'd be fuming in my head, but the second he showed up, I'd melt and everything would vanish... what on earth is he supposed to do to make me stay in my lane??? If anyone had told me I'd end up like this, I wouldn't have believed them...

You fell head over heels... chemistry is a brutal thing. When those hormones hit, they basically rewire your brain, and suddenly you're an addict. He became your drug, your fix, your whole world...
It's a mess when he doesn't feel the same way... and he doesn't. In that case, you're just a ship in a storm, completely exposed to his influence and his games... he knows exactly how to play it, and honestly, the more you react, the more it feeds his ego..
The only cure for any addiction is to cut all ties. Burn the bridges behind you. Cut off any chance of revisiting the past or dwelling on memories... time heals everything, you just have to stay disciplined and give other people, new hobbies, and new goals a chance to fill up your life again. In a few months, this will just be a memory, nothing more, and you'll come out of it knowing so much more about yourself... good luck...😁

Lawrence Bailey77 said:Are you implying that I am being strange, or are you just complaining about how cruel the world is?

Forgive me, but I suspect you might need some professional guidance... I mean, how could you possibly know anything about me? Where on earth have we met, precisely? How could you claim to know what—or who—governs my life?

Why on earth do people lie so incessantly? Why is there such a desperate need to deny that there are individuals out there who don't simply bow down or sell their souls?

Why is there such an allergic reaction toward people who actually possess character and a backbone, instead of just blending into the crowd?

And then you moan about a lack of tolerance and love... it seems somewhat abnormal, perhaps, to lack even self-belief when you hold such cynical views...

Am I wrong here? Have I essentially contradicted myself? 😵

I have no idea where all these assumptions are coming from, and I really don't feel like digging into it..
Wishing you the best... 🙂

ambercrane722 said:Man, I totally missed that... a scorpion just crawled past me, so I guess those low-level impulses finally bubbled up to the surface. Smokey, you’re seriously out of your mind, but honestly, I love it 👍 Everything makes sense and you guys are all spot on, but let’s be real—I still haven't found someone willing to just lay down and love me without asking a million questions. I haven't found that yet, and once I do, they'll probably be just as chaotic as I am... damn... well, go ahead and settle down with some total crybaby like Donna White50... honestly, we’d probably just burn the whole place down together hahah

Calling your mom a crybaby? Man... I can't even remember the last time I actually shed a tear... But that's the whole thing, you don't get it... Having a stone-cold face while everything inside you is falling apart... and that's just how you live every single damn day...
Just go find yourself some alpha guy who’ll snap you out of it when you start talking nonsense... he’ll definitely have zero internal drama, won't ask too many questions, give you a reality check, and move on... plenty of women actually thrive on that kind of energy, which is why they end up being such pushovers... 🙂

Lawrence Bailey77 said:Power is nothing more than an illusion—a cocktail of deception, deceit, and outright fraud

.. it strikes me as one of the most glaring symptoms of a psychopath .. 😁

Love, on the other hand, is a genuine feeling .. at least for me ..

🙂No, I think I'll pass .. I prefer to leave that particular pleasure to the individual. I feel no urge to convince anyone else of my specific philosophy or way of life, though I suppose I might offer a critique whenever the opportunity presents itself .. I'm just grateful for the love that kept me tethered to this life long enough to possess that ability and capacity

As for power, it can kiss my ass😁

Respect!

Kind of a weird way to look at things for someone whose entire life is basically dictated by power... you know? Like, the government, the laws, money, trade, your career... it’s all built on that foundation. Power, the law of the jungle, hierarchy... there isn't exactly much room for love or compassion in those spheres—it's just cold, hard reality...😛

Michael Diaz6 said:This is what happens when you try too hard to be rational about feelings 😂—the two of you just don't click.
It’s either love or it isn't. That applies to everyone else on the planet except us.
We want to pick and choose... and that kind of mindset just lands you in a psych ward.😂

You don't realize you're actually in love until you lose control of your emotions for the first time.
Once you fall.
But what happens when that person doesn't feel the same way?
Looks like you haven't dealt with that yet...
It was a total system failure because I couldn't pull off what I used to do effortlessly...
controlling my feelings...
I ended up hitting rock bottom, then realized how much trying to micromanage my emotions screwed me over. Now that I can't control it, I feel like I've lost my mind. I'm constantly swinging between loving everything and hating everything, and I can't stop. One minute I'm professing undying love, the next I'm full of rage. "You're an angel," then "You're trash."
I just went totally feral.🤣
Those exact extremes you warned me about...
I actually lived through them...
A textbook case for a therapist. I needed someone to calm me down, but honestly, I just needed to admit to myself that it hurts. Let it hurt. Just let the pain exist.
Don't punish yourself for it.
Don't punish the other person either... just let it go.

Perfectly put... I don't even have the words to add to this..😵
Most people just sort of accept the emotional side of things normally... but for us, it's like a game we play, something we try to control, until we realize we've been playing with fire and burned everything down around us—and then you're just fighting for survival (your sanity)...🤦

Michael Diaz6 said:radical change

😂 man, it’s actually creepy how much we think alike 🤣 it’s kind of unsettling.
Psychologically, you and I are cut from the exact same cloth. Now, if someone claims astrology is total nonsense... I don't know. I wouldn't normally buy into that stuff, but I pay attention to what people believe. It matters to me, and honestly, I'm terrified of being wrong about things. So... I know I'm not tripping, and seeing this? That's proof right there.

Reading your last two posts gave me actual chills.
We both have this one massive flaw: we have no clue how to handle feelings. It’s like they don't even belong to us. We can't show them, we can't listen to them, and we rarely trust them. We always default to logic and try to rationalize everything. But when it finally hits—when you've suppressed every single emotion, from anger and rage to love, until you hit a total mental breakdown...
You end up on meds, and I start spiraling into these extreme personality shifts just trying to find myself because I lost everything in the process. Emotions are supposed to tell you who you are, but we've become people without faces.

The worst part is, we're pretty dominant and stubborn. Being with "free spirit" types just makes the damage worse. If those partners don't know how to reel us in—because we act like we've got it all together—then they won't stop us. If they just follow our lead, we'll end up dragging them down with us.
If I hadn't had a father as strict as your wife, I probably wouldn't be doing any better than you. I don't have any inner fire left, just cold logic and emotions. My dad was pure Aries energy—all fire and fury. I grew up getting yelled at and dealt with through force. Some might say that's messed up, but words never reached me.
I only react to two things:
Fear.
Love.
Out of fear, I'll let someone take control.
And out of love.

So, someone with strong Capricorn energy—or a Capricorn specifically—actually works, provided you share the same outlook on life.
Anything else is a disaster.
As flighty as we are, we can do amazing things, but without real direction, all that potential just goes to hell.
I try to be my own spark, to keep myself in line...
But I always end up overdoing it. So far, the only people who've actually brought out the best in me are two Capricorns.
Everything else has been a bust.

Take care of her 🙂

I never really bought into astrology—I always figured we just subconsciously try to live up to our sign's description, you know? Like, if you're a Libra, you lean into that emotional side because that's what the stars say... but man, sometimes the coincidences just hit you out of nowhere. You read something and you're like, "No way..." either it’s spot on or it's just written so perfectly that everyone can see themselves in it... throw a rising sign into the mix and boom, you've got the whole picture...😁

For me, feelings are just... too much. Honestly, I don't know how to deal with them. If I had a metaphorical knife to just cut my emotions away and leave only logic behind, I’d do it in a heartbeat... but I can't. I spend all my energy suppressing stuff, weighing things out, trying to figure out when to let go and when to tighten up—it’s exhausting, seriously. Then one day, your partner says two wrong things and the dam just breaks. Everything floods, everything goes south, you totally crumble inside while desperately trying to act chill on the outside... and love makes it so much harder. You spend forever trying to manage things like infatuation, that drive to be close, to feel, to be passionate... it's always this constant internal battle. When I finally let my guard down—which doesn't happen often—and then we have a fight or I feel threatened, I swing from one extreme to the other. One minute I'm a total wreck, and once the argument is over, I flip into this intense need for affection and closeness... all while trying to act cold as ice on the surface. God, help me. Honestly, I'd almost rather someone just give me a good smack to the face to take the edge off. Pain is pain, at least you can define it clearly...
Lately, my personality has been all over the place too. I find myself opening up more, then suddenly feeling this urge to be cold or take control... I'll catch myself being a completely different person than I was a few days ago. Just seeing the world through a totally different lens...

And about having a non-dominant partner... yeah, everything would just fall apart, 100%. If we both started playing those hot-and-cold emotional games without any rhyme or reason, it would be a disaster. Being with someone who isn't a match for my intensity is something I can't even imagine. I need an anchor—someone steady who can pull me back when I cross the line, someone who lets me express myself and vent when I'm literally bursting at the seams...

Like I said, just find your "ride or die"—someone stable who fits your vibe and can give you that foundation so you can actually bloom. It’s not even about them being dominant... they just need to know where to draw the line, give you enough trust to be yourself, and gently point out the little things you might need to work on...🙂

It honestly makes me so happy that we're similar. You spend your life thinking you're some one-of-a-kind weirdo, like there's nobody else out there like you, but clearly, there are others...😁 it’s such a relief knowing someone else is going through the same thing. At least we can swap advice and stories... and that’s actually a pretty big deal, right...?🙂

ambercrane722 said:Total disaster... but honestly, it’s good for people like me to just shut up for a bit, especially with how many people out there act like this. I mean, seriously, how much of this is even normal? I’m constantly hitting my breaking point because the smallest, most trivial things just drive me absolutely insane. This relentless, crushing need to be perfect—to be flawless, extreme, and beyond reproach—is just baked into my DNA at this point. Lately, people are just getting under my skin so much that I find myself just reading about them instead of actually interacting. I can't even deal with looking at people or listening to them right now without losing it.

I don't quite get you though... what's actually bugging you? Is it the emotional instability, the personality stuff, or just that need for everything to be perfect?
Well, for me, that craving for everything to be ideal and extreme when it comes to feelings... it's been there since forever. That's just who I am...🙂

smoky 9999-

I tend to just go with the flow sometimes—just letting life take me wherever it wants... honestly, it’s the only way I’ve found that actually works for me... though the guilt always creeps in later. You know, that feeling of, "Man, if I hadn't dropped the ball on this or that, I could've had this or that by now." I definitely have regrets about things I didn't put more effort into... but man, it’s hard. You can't juggle every single thread at once, and you can't chase perfection in everything or you'll just burn out... you have to pick your battles... but then life hits you, and you end up being pissed at yourself for those old choices. I'm trying not to let it get to me, though—trying to make my choices like you do and just deal with whatever the future throws my way... it's the only way, really. Otherwise, I'd just snap... all those little things would eat me alive... but yeah, that drive inside me to be perfect, to be extreme... it’s just so incredibly strong...

Oh, and since you asked what my partner's sign is... alright, buckle up...

Capricorn...
But like, a *real* Capricorn... totally grounded, super confident, ambitious, stubborn, and has these rock-solid principles. She doesn't sugarcoat anything either—she’ll throw her opinions right in your face, whether you like it or not. She only respects people who actually prove themselves, and she'll wear this mask just to crush her goals... from the outside, she might come off as a bit of a cold bitch... but once you're close? She's this warm, beautiful, deeply emotional soul who gives everything...
In terms of astrology, we are a total disaster together...
In reality, though, we’re like heaven and earth in most ways. I can't even begin to explain how different our personalities are... but our outlook on life? It matches up perfectly. We're two extremes that just balance each other out without needing compromises... basically, she’s amazing at everything I suck at, and where she struggles, I step up... there's so much we learn from each other... when we click, it's just the perfect combo...😁

Before her, my relationships were always a mess... I mean, having a Libra and a Scorpio together is basically a constant storm unless you find someone who knows how to reel you in, set boundaries, calm the chaos, and hold your hand when you need it... I never had that with anyone else, but I have it with her. She just sees straight into my soul—she knows me better than I know myself, and I really feel that... a couple of words, a kiss, sex, a smile... it all happens exactly when it needs to, and it brings everything back into balance. It sounds weird, but maybe you need someone like that too... someone normal and grounded... because you love to fly off the rails and cause a little chaos... someone like that would actually keep you steady...😁

See, I totally get it—it’s the same for me. You know you're a Libra, but definitely not the "typical" kind... I actually ended up seeing a therapist about ten years ago because of some heavy family stuff. My parents really put me through it when I was growing up, and when you combine that with my personality, things get messy fast... I spent two years in psychotherapy, but honestly, I was such a closed book when it came to expressing how I felt that even after two whole years, I never truly opened up properly...😵😁
Once I finally got some distance from my family and moved away from people who were bringing me down, I actually managed to find myself and really thrive... today, I can say I'm a successful guy, which back then felt like a complete pipe dream...😁
But man, that tendency to shut down and be self-destructive whenever things go south? It causes massive problems in life... those moments where I swing from feeling perfect to having zero self-confidence... it hits you right when you least expect it...🙄
To everyone else, I seem like a great person—exactly like what you said, just chill, level-headed, balanced. I love being around people, hanging out, keeping things harmonious in my life and my relationships... I love deep philosophical talks, giving positive advice, helping others, being a pacifist, staying open-minded... I try to understand everyone and figure out the *why* behind how people act. I overanalyze everything, trying to make even the most trivial details perfect... but yeah, that also means I can turn the smallest little thing into a huge ordeal... Like, I'll bring something up to my partner and they'll just be like, "You're acting weird, why are you even getting worked up over this?" I don't know a single person who would spend even ten seconds stressing over the stuff I do... And that absolute inability to make decisions? It drives me insane... I want everything and nothing all at once. If I pick something, I'm constantly eaten up by the thought that I should've picked something else—like there's always some sort of loss involved in making a choice. Like, you need new sneakers, so you walk into a Foot Locker and there's this massive wall of shoes in front of you... do I grab the blue ones or the white ones? These look cooler, but these feel more comfortable, but this tiny detail bugs me, and these are way too expensive... eventually, I just snap, close my eyes, and grab one, only to beat myself up about it later... sometimes I'm such a drama queen...🙂
As for feelings... well, I either let them out until I'm completely exhausted and it's never enough, or I force myself to be cold as ice, thinking I have to be dominant or blunt... but inside, it just eats at me and I'm screaming "noooo" while feeling terrible if I end up hurting someone!!! You're always hardest on yourself, even though everyone else thinks you're amazing. You're the type of person who gives so much without expecting anything in return... I can't even imagine intentionally hurting someone, let alone being capable of doing it...🙂

Michael Diaz6 said:😂 Are you messing with me, saying you're a Libra rising Scorpio, or are you just trolling me thinking I'm crazy? 🤣 ?

I agree with everything you wrote. It actually made me think about my own extremes. Really deep analysis. Nice job.

Why would I mess with you? My username pretty much gives it away, doesn't it?😁
To be honest, I don't usually buy into any of that horoscope stuff... but then a few years back, I decided to check what my rising sign was (never really cared before)... turns out it's Scorpio... I was like, cool, maybe I've got something edgy in me to balance out this boring romantic Libra vibe... so I go looking up "Scorpio rising with Libra sun"... and man, I couldn't believe my eyes... I was just sitting there thinking, holy crap, that's literally me... just the worst possible combo, total internal conflict, basically a recipe for madness... it hits way too close to home... 😵😵😵
Just watch those extremes... but if you can channel them the right way, there's nothing better... like, say, in the bedroom... you get that blend of deep emotion, an incredible capacity to give and receive, plus that wild passion that comes with being a Scorpio...😁

Michael Diaz6 said:Well, I actually am positive and have a pretty childish spirit, so I guess I'm just showing my true colors.
Kidding, right?
But seriously, underneath that lies a massive issue: overthinking. I tend to analyze things to death. Making decisions is slow and shaky because, just like you, I always want to make the "perfect" choice. I don't allow myself to mess up.
I live this constant battle between logic and feeling. I try to rationalize every single emotion, which is why I never fall in love at first sight. I can even force myself to love someone or stop loving them just so I don't make a bad call.
It's idealism.
I started treating my brain like a filter for my feelings. That filter got so thick that I wouldn't let any emotion disrupt my logical view of perfection. I never showed anger, sadness, rage, or love without having an extensive internal debate about whether it was "appropriate" first.
So, I basically suppressed 90% of my desires.
For me, spontaneity and raw emotion didn't exist.
And that led to my biggest flaws.
It wasn't until I saw where the actual problem was—and realized how everyone else operates (it’s like a total domino effect...)
that I decided to start letting my feelings out and learning to react honestly.
Being spontaneous. It feels liberating.
It's fine to try and rationalize some stuff, but living purely through logic... eventually, you're going to get sick of that mindset.
There is no such thing as a perfect decision or a perfect person.
You just exist as you are.

The only thing anyone should watch out for—the thing that actually leads to a "perfect" life—is making sure you don't do anything whose consequences you aren't ready to handle.
If someone gets mad at me because we don't see eye-to-eye... I can deal with that.
If a guy I love leaves me because I cheated... those are consequences I don't want to face.
If I get cancer from smoking... I definitely don't want those consequences either...

That's the perfect emotional filter.
Most people won't get why this is the perfect pick for you specifically.

I really value positive people—if you surround yourself with them, you have a real shot at living a happy life. Your posts always bring such a good vibe when I read them... then there's that user Positivax, man, I lose it whenever I read her stuff... she’s basically "the" person on here...😁
I can't stand the grouches—you know, the ones who are furious at themselves before noon and then pissed off at the entire world by lunchtime.
I laugh a lot too, like, sometimes I'll burst out laughing so hard the windows rattle and my neighbors three houses down are wondering what the hell is going on... but it's good for me. It lets go of all those internal brakes I have; I'll literally be doubling over.
Because of a rough childhood, I used to be someone who never let a single emotion out—positive or negative. But lately, I've been slowly letting go... starting to be honest with everyone, venting, expressing myself, just being real. And once you do that, you start feeling good and the problems start fading... though I still struggle with extremes...
I guess you could say life is like a scale trying to stay balanced, constantly pulling the handbrake to keep things "perfect"...
But when the scorpion takes over that scale... when the handbrake is released... I go into these other kinds of extremes. Unbridled passion, craving intense feelings, sexuality, adrenaline, trance states... just this wild release where everything explodes. Dangerous situations, reckless driving...
I'm basically spending my whole life trying to figure out how much to pull the handbrake. If I pull it too hard, everything's blocked. If I let it go completely—it's a flood, and the consequences hit hard...😁
When it comes to love, I just have this massive need to go all out—like, push everything to the absolute limit. It’s honestly the one part of my life where I feel like I can truly be myself without any filters... my partner basically knows me better than I know myself at this point. Love has always been my outlet where I rarely ever hit the brakes... but hey, that's just how it works when you're chasing that perfect harmony. That's when things really bloom, and you see that Scorpio side finally come out to play...😉

Michael Diaz6 said:For most of my life, I was totally obsessed with perfection. Like, if it wasn't flawless, it wasn't good enough, and I just didn't know how to be anything else.
At the end of the day, you're the one who knows yourself best, including all those messy flaws.
I used to beat myself up over them, honestly. It got to the point where I felt like I didn't even deserve the "perfect" things I was chasing.
So yeah, I wouldn't even dream of getting involved with a guy who seemed perfect to me.
It wasn't about trying to manipulate anyone—I just wanted the freedom to be myself, flaws and all. And the only way to do that was with someone who actually gets it.
The urge to control people completely died after my first boyfriend. I realized it’s just exhausting, and at the end of the day, everyone does their own thing anyway. You can't manipulate me, and you definitely can't change me, so how could I expect to control anyone else when I can't even force myself to be what I want to be?
If I ever stumble upon some magic formula that works on other people, I'll let you know. 🤣

Until then, I'm embracing imperfection. I'm making a conscious effort to fall for the imperfect stuff, because I'm certainly not perfect myself.
That’s not just some cheesy cliché; I mean it. I’m a bit eccentric and don't really fit into a neat little box. I know I *could* fit in—I spent most of my life training myself to be perfect, which helps out in my career and stuff, but in love? It’s a disaster. It leads you straight to guys who don't match your vibe at all. Eventually, you realize that once you're honest about who you are and what you want, very few people actually fit. Honestly, you might have stayed innocent longer if you'd just waited for that one person who fits like a puzzle piece.
Back then, I couldn't figure out why people struggled so much to find a partner when it felt like the world was just overflowing with love...

But once you finally figure out who YOU really are, everything changes. You start seeing your uniqueness. You realize your flaws aren't actually flaws, and that perfection is a myth. If perfection existed, the world would be totally out of whack—you need darkness to define the light, right?
Now, I accept my dark side as part of the whole package. Those shadows are there to highlight my light. My flaws and virtues are all part of the same person.
I don't need perfection anymore because I've realized I'm already perfect in my own weird way. I stopped trying to bend myself to fit things that go against what I actually want. I finally get it now—loving someone's entire being is hard. And loving me? That's not easy either. Loving isn't easy.
It's supposed to be this explosive connection where two whole people just click... that's the only time you can truly say you love and are loved.
How many people can actually say they've experienced that? Who knows. I'm 25... I have no clue.

Based on your posts, you always come off as super positive and upbeat—honestly, I thought you weren't even 20 yet...😁
The stuff you wrote above? I just can't do that for myself... I'm basically a prisoner to this extreme need for perfection and trying to control things that are impossible to control—especially my own feelings. My life feels like a stormy ocean I'm constantly trying to calm down or steer where I want it to go, but obviously, it doesn't work like that. But that urge is so intense that I just can't accept my own imperfections... I feel like I have to experience everything bigger, better, stronger... I have to be more dominant, more confident, know more, love harder, fuck more passionately... Ten years ago, my therapist told me that I'd probably never be a truly happy person no matter what I achieve in life, just because of this obsession with perfection and control... and she was right. I have everything, yet so much is still missing. It's like a moving goalpost—if I hit it in one area, it just shifts to another...
The only exception is my partner. With them, I don't hold anything back and I accept them completely, flaws and all. I can't really explain it, but maybe there's some kind of cosmic compensation happening... somewhere in life you're tightening everything up until you're breathless, and somewhere else you just let go, accept, give, forgive, and support through anything... and I can feel that coming from their side too...
I guess I'm just my own worst enemy...🙂

Lawrence Bailey77 said:Go ahead and keep deluding yourselves if you must... but I find myself wondering why there is such an overwhelming need to convince everyone else that your specific definition of love is the correct one.

Actually, it would be far more interesting to hear about some actual, lived experiences—tangible manifestations of "your" versions of love... though perhaps I shouldn't even call them love.😛

You talk about love as if it were a person... and I won't even say people talk about God in much the same way... but everything you're describing isn't actually love. Or rather, the terms you're using are already strictly defined elsewhere. You can do better than this.😉

.. I get the feeling you might eventually start showing off your special powers to us 😁 and as for love, I won't be hearing any more about it, not even a little bit.

Oh, Great All-Powerful and All-Knowing one, please reveal to us the secret of love...😁
I separated love from infatuation a long time ago...
It clicked for me ages ago that love isn't about possession—it's about sharing, respect, acceptance, and giving both yourself and your partner the freedom to grow...
Things go sideways when desires, feelings, and dreams start drifting apart... then "love turns into" being demanding and pulling on the leash... but that's not love anymore... it's just a hungry, angry animal that's been neglected for months, if not years...
Nobody owns anyone, and nobody owes anyone anything... those are all just fictions in our heads... and love is just a pleasant fiction... because in reality, there's nothing exists besides this exact moment you're living in... burn out your brain and it's over—bye bye to love, feelings, the good, and the bad...🙂
That's about it from me...

ambercrane722 said:I saw this quote somewhere: "I’m suckered in by the drama, the weird takes, and those messy life mistakes people make when they finally open up and trust you. There's something about realizing someone isn't perfect that just drives me wild. Their one fatal flaw is usually their struggle to master their own mind and body." And honestly? I felt that in my soul. It's like looking in a mirror. Here I am, thinking I've got everything under control, yet I'm still such a total wreck. Where did this glitch in my system even come from? Makes me wonder if we're all just fundamentally broken... or if I just need to check if my horoscope is out to get me today.😵

It sounds like you and I are vibing on that same extreme frequency—that constant tug-of-war between being totally composed, hyper-controlled, and completely flawed, or between being primal and losing all restraint... if I'm reading you right...?
I don't think it has much to do with love, because true love doesn't really play in those extremes—love isn't about possession or micromanaging someone... but with passion and raw instinct? Oh, absolutely. Those are two extremes I find myself wrestling with constantly... finding peace through love, versus that wild energy through passion that just explodes out of nowhere when you least expect it...🙂

I’m definitely not much of a writer, but I'll give it my best shot...

I’ve always had a thing for people who actually know how to hold a conversation—you know, those folks who play with language, flow through sentences naturally, and really lean into the important stuff. I love when someone uses their hands or facial expressions to drive home an emotion, or uses body language to show they’re in charge without even trying... It's just magnetic. On the flip side, I can't stand the mumble-talkers—people who drone on in this slow, monotone way, or those with zero vocabulary who just lack any real spark. And don't even get me started on the loudmouths who try to drown everyone else out just to feel powerful...
I actually ran into someone today whose vibe totally caught me off guard. It was such a cool little moment—someone handed him a phone to take a call, not knowing who it was for... he just took it, laughed, and asked, "Am I winning?" Honestly, I thought it was brilliant... He basically asserted his whole personality with just those two little words...🙂

I mean, you can fall head over heels for someone who isn't even there... suddenly you're hooked, chasing those cheap thrills from adult sites or getting lost in a gambling addiction... our primitive brains are honestly way too good at their one job—hooking us onto that dopamine loop... whether it’s through random thoughts, intense feelings, illusions, or just pure daydreaming...
It’ll pass, just like everything else, as long as you figure out how to redirect that craving for dopamine toward things that actually make life worth living—like your career, hanging out with friends, a solid hobby, going out, or just laughing until it hurts... eventually, it'll just become this faint, fading neural pathway you barely even remember... you'll basically just swap it out for other ways to get that "high" from things that actually bring you real satisfaction...😉