Look, whether you have a degree or not, landing a job is tough these days—it’s just the reality of the American job market. Having that diploma is definitely a plus, sure, but let’s be real: it isn't some golden ticket. And honestly? If you hated what you studied, having that degree won't do you much good anyway. Just stop beating yourself up over it and try to move forward. You could always look into getting a certification or taking a specialized course later on; they’re shorter, more focused, and can actually help you get hired. Just make sure you do your homework first to see if the certification is actually worth the money and if it carries weight here in the States.
First thing’s first: ask yourself what actually interests you and what you’d *actually* want to do for a living. Try to dig through your memory for anything that sparked an interest or something you were naturally good at. Grab a notepad and just dump all your ideas onto it. Then, dive a bit deeper into different hobbies or career paths—maybe even try testing out a few things in your free time just to see if you actually enjoy the grind.
You don't need "motivation" to lose weight; you need motivation to be active. There’s got to be some kind of sport, workout, martial art, dance, or running—something that pulls you in even just a little bit so you can actually enjoy it. If you find that, the weight loss will just happen as a byproduct. As for food, try to cut out those late-night snacking sessions, eat smaller meals throughout the day instead of one giant feast, and aim for healthier stuff. Pro tip from my end: don't put the whole box of pasta or the entire bag of chips on the table. Just put a realistic portion on your plate and leave the rest in the pantry or the fridge. It makes self-control a hell of a lot easier.
What are your big dreams? Money comes and goes in life, so don't let it consume you. What matters is knowing what you want and how you want it, and hey, it’s okay to daydream about it once in a while. Don't let those mental blocks like "I can't do that," "I don't have the cash," or "that's just a fantasy" shut you down. Keep a positive outlook.
I struggle with remembering things too, so don't sweat it. I just write the important stuff down on paper or in my phone, and boom—problem solved. Plus, I usually remember things better once they're written down. You can actually start building better logical reasoning by analyzing things on paper—for example, write down the pros and cons of a situation, list every detail you notice, and then give each point a score from 1 to 5. Total up the scores for the pros and the cons and see which side outweighs the other. After I started making decisions this way, I noticed I could think through things much faster and more clearly. Also, reading helps a ton with how you express yourself—you start subconsciously picking up the way authors phrase things. Read stuff you actually care about, and you'll enjoy it. And I definitely recommend diving into some self-help books regarding success and happiness; they can really shift your mindset and how you act.
Don't have any friends? Start approaching people in real life or reach out to folks online and just start talking. Eventually, you'll click with someone and find your tribe. And don't worry if a few people brush you off... that happens to everyone, it's totally normal. If you're too nervous to talk to people face-to-face, plan out how you'll introduce yourself or start a conversation beforehand. There's plenty of stuff on YouTube that gives good examples you can learn from. Just remember: you don't know these people anyway, so you have nothing to lose. On the flip side, you might meet someone who completely changes your life for the better and becomes a lifelong friend.
A boyfriend will show up once you've gotten your other ducks in a row. Some guys won't care if you've gained a few pounds, but you really need to build up your own self-confidence and optimism first. Live your life, laugh, crack a joke, make eye contact—people will notice. Besides, don't be afraid to approach someone if you're interested! The main thing is to kick off the conversation and make sure the vibe is fun. At the end of it, you can just leave your number and say, "Hey, hit me up if you want to hang out sometime." It’s a super easy, low-pressure way to do it.
Just take one tiny step forward every single day, and within a year, your life will look completely different. Small things make massive differences. 🙂
Balance is everything—seriously, it’s the golden rule for just about anything in life, including this. You have to stay mindful if you actually want to notice what's happening right in front of your face, which, let's be honest, most people fail at miserably. If you can't see clearly, you can't think straight. The real trick—and it's not easy—is learning how to just... stop. Like, hit the pause button on your racing thoughts mid-sentence so you can drop into this state of heightened awareness and actual relaxation. But here's the kicker: you also have to learn how to snap back out of it. You can't just float in the clouds forever; you need to come back down, look at your current mess of a situation, and figure out your next move. Honestly, even those annoying little daily errands or the grind of a nine-to-five at an office in Chicago could be the perfect training ground for this stuff.
Scott Miller4 said:Hmm. That’s a nice sentiment, I guess, but it doesn't mean much to someone who can't find any purpose at all. In fact, listening to stuff like that might even make you feel worse.
A lack of purpose is directly tied to a lack of desire, which leads straight to a lack of motivation. It’s basically just brain chemistry. It turns out the whole thing is pretty grounded and material; positive thinking and chasing rainbows doesn't really do anything.
If it helps, maybe try working out—specifically cardio. Exercise releases hormones that help with focus, motivation, and mood.
The main thing is to keep moving. Purpose isn't something that just happens to you. God isn't going to descend from a cloud to hand it to us, and fate isn't going to drop it in our laps either. We have a lot more control over it than we probably want to admit.
I'm with you on this. For me, it took years of digging into different topics and trying out all sorts of things. Eventually, though, I figured out what my actual goals were, and that changed everything. I'm way happier now, I'm getting more done, I've got more drive, and so on.
Don't just sit around waiting for your life's purpose to reveal itself—go out there and hunt it down.
Look, hitting your goals matters—don't get me wrong—but if you aren't actually enjoying the ride along the way, what's even the point? If you can't find some joy in the process, then work just feels like a grind, and every little setback or roadblock starts feeling like a disaster instead of what it actually is: a chance to pivot, learn something new, and come back smarter and more resilient. You can't expect to feel fulfilled if you're just killing yourself working day in and day out, feeling like you're barely surviving just to reach some finish line.
Look, if you realize a certain group of people just isn't your vibe anymore, you don't need to make a huge scene—you just drift away. Slowly. Find your own tribe, find people who actually get you. It’s really not that deep.
Honestly, it feels a little weird seeing the conversation just die out like this. Maybe the person didn't know how to respond to the topic—sometimes you just freeze up when things get awkward, right? I'm just guessing here, though, because I have zero clue what you guys were actually talking about or even who this person is. Was this just a one-off thing, or is this some kind of recurring pattern? I'm going to need a bit more context before I can give you any decent advice 🙂
I’m right there with Blue Jays. Honestly, they nailed it in 🙂
Look, on the flip side—and I say this as someone who's been down this road—maybe you're just hanging out with someone who doesn't actually give a damn about what you think. It's a thing. If we're the ones messing up, then obviously other people are going to trip up too. Maybe you just don't have enough in common, and the stuff you're passionate about just sounds like white noise to them. There are a million "maybes" floating around here.
My advice? Just try to be more open and brutally honest when you're dealing with people. It’s really the simplest way to figure out if things are actually fine or if you need to sit down and fix what's broken. Sure, you might end up pushing someone away by being real, but let's face it—you aren't going to please everyone, no matter how hard you try.
Look, you’ve gotta find some balance. You need to clear out all that mental clutter—all those useless, nagging thoughts that just take up space—and once you actually empty your head, you'll start noticing the stuff that actually matters. Plus, you'll be able to think about things a hell of a lot clearer.
John Hernandez18 said:You’re making her look like a total mess. Honestly, no surgery could fix her face—it'd probably just make it worse, because the way she was born is pretty much perfect already.
Same here! I've heard that my whole life, along with all the hype about brunettes. Though, I guess that doesn't count when you run into those super stunning blonde exceptions, right?
Sure, there are plenty of gorgeous blondes out there, but personally? Brunettes just hit different for me. That said—and this is where I actually get serious—looks aren't everything. I mean, really. Personality, intelligence, having actual curiosity about the world, shared interests, kindness, being an optimist... that's the real stuff. That’s what actually pulls me in. Looks matter, sure, but they aren't the main event. Once I meet a girl who actually has substance and those qualities, falling for her is the easiest thing in the world. At that point, as long as she takes a little care of herself and has some decent style, I'm set. Everything else is just noise.
Listen to me, and listen good. Go ahead and make your moves at home, but for heaven's sake, don't let your old man break your spirit—stick to your guns. It is absolutely unhingal and toxic for a father to be calling his own kid names like that, hitting them, and then turning around to defend some guy friend instead? That’s just messed up. But look, you gotta play this smart, not just hard. My best bet? Dive deep into psychology. Seriously. If you learn how people tick and how to navigate certain social dynamics, you'll find you can get what you want way more calmly and efficiently. Plus, it might actually help you wrap your head around your brother, and honestly, knowing how the human mind works will serve you well for the rest of your life.
As for cutting your brother off from the computer entirely—I don't think that's going to work. It might seem like a fix, but it could just spiral him deeper into a depression. Try carving out even just thirty minutes a day specifically for him. It’s not like you're losing an hour of your life, and it could genuinely make a difference for him.
Also, if I were you, I'd dig through the browser history on that computer to see what he's actually looking at. See what sites he's hanging out on. Then, try to pivot those interests into the real world. Like, if he's obsessed with learning English, find a way to get him engaged with it through something active that doesn't involve staring at a screen. You could even flip the script and ask *him* to teach *you* something if he's getting good at it. He probably just needs to feel like he matters—like someone actually values what he knows. The more you focus on sparking his interest, motivating him, and giving him a win, and the less you lean on punishment and constant criticism, the better. He needs positive reinforcement to build up some actual self-esteem so he can move forward.
Oh, and yeah... definitely check out my thread advice for a good life. I basically distilled the best bits from over a hundred books I've read, mixing in my own experiences and stuff I've learned from others. Hopefully, it gives you a little something to work with 🙂
Look, I’ve never really been into blondes—it’s just not my thing—and honestly, a bunch of my buddies feel the exact same way. For me, brunettes are where it's at. But hey, what's that I'm saying? At the end of the day, beauty is such a subjective, individual thing. It’s not one-size-fits-all; what one person finds stunning, someone else might totally overlook. Just remember, you're going to be exactly someone's type, even if they aren't yours. 🙂
So, get this—for the longest time, we were all under the impression that the universe was basically just 4% atomic matter that we actually recognize, maybe 23% dark matter, and then the rest—about 73%—was just... empty space, right? At least, that's what the scientists used to tell us before they realized they were totally off base. Turns out, that 73% isn't just a big, lonely void; it's actually dark energy. Think of it less like "nothingness" and more like a massive, underlying nervous system that’s woven through every single thing that exists in the cosmos. It completely flips the script on how we view everything—it's this wild idea that everything in existence is fundamentally interconnected.
Check out this image if you want to wrap your head around what I'm getting at.
Why are you guys even singling them out? Honestly, I like certain older folks just as much as I like certain younger ones—it’s not some cosmic rule. It’s got nothing to do with how many birthdays they've had, it's all about who they actually are—their character, how they treat people, their headspace, all that stuff.
Look, there’s no magic wand you can wave to make all your problems vanish overnight. These issues—they build up slowly, right? Like layers of dust. So, you’re going to have to commit to making these tiny, incremental positive moves every single day. But hey, don't let that overwhelm you. Seriously. Give it a year, and I promise you’ll be able to feel a massive difference in your life.
Take those social anxieties or whatever blocks you're dealing with, for example. You don't need to go out and hunt for a serious girlfriend immediately. Just start by meeting different women, hanging out, keeping things low-pressure, and just building friendships. Trust me, you’ll learn a ton from just being social, and it’ll help you loosen up. And look—on the flip side, maybe you'll actually click with someone, and you'll both realize you want something deeper. Things usually fall into place much more naturally when you aren't forcing them.
If you want more, check out my thread advice for a good life. I’ve laid out a bunch of useful tips covering pretty much everything—managing your headspace and emotions, navigating relationships, getting your finances in order, all that stuff. I kept it straightforward and easy to follow so you won't get lost in the weeds.
Hopefully, this gives you a bit of a roadmap. Good luck 🙂
Honestly, I don't even lose sleep over it. I make it a point to be completely upfront and transparent with everyone right from the jump—no games, no filters—so people find out exactly who they're dealing with pretty damn fast. Some folks just won't hit me back, and you know what? That’s fine by me. They drift out of my life, and the ones who actually vibe with the real me? They’re the ones who stick around.
Look, if he’s an adult and he just refuses to listen—well, there isn't much you can do about it at this stage. You're stuck. The only move left is to grab onto those few fleeting moments when he actually shows some motivation and immediately pivot into starting something positive together. It really doesn't matter right now whether he thinks he's some kind of messiah who just descended from the heavens to save the world. I've read plenty of stuff on that specific brand of delusion, so I get where he's coming from. Honestly? He needs some kind of positive momentum in his life, and if this helps nudge him toward a better path, then it's a win for him.
Richard Wells said:We really need to wake up here. It’s all about that self-work. You have to actually *want* to level up until you realize that helping others is basically just helping yourself—that being a decent human is the real key. A lot of people don't get that at first. They take a different path, and honestly, life just ends up slapping them back. They spend most of their lives stuck in this loop of restlessness and unconsciousness, never even figuring out why they're so unsettled.
Jack Smith5 said:It’s not actually about the money. It’s more about those moments when you need an urgent car repair and your bank account is looking pretty grim. In a situation like that, I’d gladly sink a few hours of my own time into helping someone out without expecting a single cent in return—with one condition: you just pay it forward by using your own skills to help a third party for free.
Case in point: I was over at my neighbor's place recently and was fixing up his hedge trimmers. One of the gears had gotten smoothed out, so instead of buying a whole new part, I just pressed a different gear against the worn one to realign it, and now it’s running like it just came out of the box. I didn't spend a dime on parts; it just cost me maybe thirty to sixty minutes of my afternoon. So why on earth would I charge him for that? Why shouldn't these kinds of favors be free? At least for the people close to you, or the acquaintances you know you'll be seeing around again anyway.
A perfect example. 🙂
David Bishop3 said:It sounds like you’ve clearly never had to deal with any real, heavy-hitting problems—neither your own nor anyone else's. It’s not about some simple barter of services—it’s about true cooperation and a strategic alliance. Mutual support is how you build real friends and lasting allies. If you’ve ever been in a bind and realized someone had the power to help you—but chose not to—you need to be careful about how much you step up when their luck inevitably runs out. Honestly, unless you have absolutely nothing else going on, I wouldn't bother. Think of it like this: if they weren't there for you when things were hitting the fan, it’s a pretty clear sign they don't actually care about your well-being or your survival. It’s a pattern—once they show you that lack of empathy, expect them to pull the same disappearing act the next time you're the one facing a crisis. Helping someone like that is honestly just doing yourself a disservice—because let's be real, they aren't going to be there for you when the chips are down. They’ve already shown you exactly who they are. I’m not talking about trivialities here—like tossing a few bucks to someone on a street corner or participating in some small-scale charity drive. I’m talking about the high-stakes stuff—situations where people’s very lives are on the line due to illness, or where their entire financial stability is hanging by a thread.
If you’re out there helping people who are actually grateful—you know, the ones who appreciate the hand—then this theory really starts to hold water: What goes around, comes around—you reap exactly what you sow. And if we’re talking about the ungrateful ones: Fool—why even bother helping? You'd have been much better off looking out for yourself when you had the chance.
I’m on the exact same page. Look, if you want my help—first, you’ve got to help me out. I need some proof that we're actually dealing with someone reliable here.
Monthly charity drives—and that Wüstertombola jedan giveaway—are always on my mind. ☕ There is a massive difference between helping out by skipping a hundred bucks here and there—something any average person can manage—and actually stepping up when the stakes involve serious, heavy-hitting sums. It’s two completely different worlds.
Look, I’ve always been a big believer in friendship, collaboration, and actually sticking by people—forming real alliances. But here’s the thing: I don’t do it because I'm looking for a payout or some kind of kickback. It’s not a transaction for me. Take this one girl I knew, for example—I spent an entire year helping her out, no strings attached, just being there. Fast forward to later on, and she ended up doing way more for me than I ever did for her. It just works out that way when you aren't keeping a scorecard.
So what if someone doesn't want to lend me a hand after I've already stepped up for them? Honestly, if I see an opportunity to help that same person again, I’m going to do it—no hesitation, no second-guessing, none of that. It's not like I'm losing anything here, because let's be real: I don't go into anything expecting a thank you or some kind of payback. That's just not how I roll. And despite all that—even when people act selfish—I always seem to find myself surrounded by plenty of folks who are more than willing to have my back, so I really have no reason to stress about it.
David Bishop3 said:It sounds like you’ve clearly never had to deal with any real, heavy-hitting problems—neither your own nor anyone else's. It’s not about some simple barter of services—it’s about true cooperation and a strategic alliance. Mutual support is how you build real friends and lasting allies. If you’ve ever been in a bind and realized someone had the power to help you—but chose not to—you need to be careful about how much you step up when their luck inevitably runs out. Honestly, unless you have absolutely nothing else going on, I wouldn't bother. Think of it like this: if they weren't there for you when things were hitting the fan, it’s a pretty clear sign they don't actually care about your well-being or your survival. It’s a pattern—once they show you that lack of empathy, expect them to pull the same disappearing act the next time you're the one facing a crisis. Helping someone like that is honestly just doing yourself a disservice—because let's be real, they aren't going to be there for you when the chips are down. They’ve already shown you exactly who they are. I’m not talking about trivialities here—like tossing a few bucks to someone on a street corner or participating in some small-scale charity drive. I’m talking about the high-stakes stuff—situations where people’s very lives are on the line due to illness, or where their entire financial stability is hanging by a thread.
If you’re out there helping people who are actually grateful—you know, the ones who appreciate the hand—then this theory really starts to hold water: What goes around, comes around—you reap exactly what you sow. And if we’re talking about the ungrateful ones: Fool—why even bother helping? You'd have been much better off looking out for yourself when you had the chance.
I’m on the exact same page. Look, if you want my help—first, you’ve got to help me out. I need some proof that we're actually dealing with someone reliable here.
Monthly charity drives—and that Wüstertombola jedan giveaway—are always on my mind. ☕ There is a massive difference between helping out by skipping a hundred bucks here and there—something any average person can manage—and actually stepping up when the stakes involve serious, heavy-hitting sums. It’s two completely different worlds.
I honestly don't see the big deal here. Does it really matter if I’m handing over hundreds, thousands, or millions? Look, let's say I’ve reached that sweet spot where I have enough to cover everything I want and need in this life—my house, my travels, all that stuff. At that point, what am I supposed to do with the leftovers? Let it just sit there gathering dust in some Chase savings account or tucked away under my mattress? No thanks. I’d much rather use the surplus to help people out. Honestly, I wouldn't even blink if it meant I ended up broke. At least then I’d have the peace of mind knowing I actually put that money toward something that mattered. Besides, when you really think about it, money is basically just an idea written down on paper—it's a concept. And if you have good ideas, those ideas will always draw more capital back to you anyway. You can always earn it back.
A friend once labeled me the "man with a million problems"... there’s no quick fix for that; you’d need decades and a massive fortune to sort it out... and just to balance the scales, I’d probably need to step in and help all of sub-Saharan Africa... 😉
Thanks anyway. It’s actually nice to see threads like this pop up; it almost restores my faith in humanity...
Have you seen Amélie? Such a charming little movie with a great concept...
Small gestures can make a huge impact. Even if we just tackle one single thing you're dealing with, that's still progress. 🙂 I'm actually on vacation right now, so I've got plenty of time to sit down, listen to everything you're going through, and offer some advice. Obviously, it's entirely up to you, so shoot me a DM if you want to chat.
Thanks for the movie recommendation 🙂 I'll probably give it a watch sometime this week.