Posts by Lawrence Bailey77

I seem to recall some old parable from the Middle East—the details escape me, I suppose;

They say that language is the master of the mind... it has the power to crown you, yet it can just as easily leave you hollow-headed.🙂

But if you ask me... well, maybe it’s just a matter of deep-seated resentment bubbling over to the surface. That’s just my theory, of course... who actually knows what’s truly going on beneath the surface?☕

There is no such thing as strictly right or wrong... the brain doesn't truly grasp the distinction between "good and evil."

It’s all taught, I suppose... most of these concepts are essentially etched into the mind through our culture and how we're raised by those around us. Anything could be instilled there, and who knows what actually remains once you're on your own...

Look, science hasn't come all that far, though it has certainly made some progress and might have something worth offering you, if nothing else.

I’d suggest exploring it for yourself... frankly, I try to avoid trying to convince people of anything. I suspect it’s a better—albeit much slower, more difficult, and perhaps riskier—path for an individual to discover their own truths and tap into their true potential.

The concept of good versus bad simply doesn't exist. There is no guilt. Guilt is just a lie, a supposedly "necessary" one, according to those tired old clichés that offer zero practical results.😉

There are so many lies out there... attempting to over-analyze everything is a direct route to schizophrenia, in my opinion.

Feelings, despite being unpredictable and "dangerous," are far more reliable than any other system, at least in my experience. They aren't invented or learned; they are primal and innate. Though, even then, anything can happen, which I believe is just another byproduct of our environment.

In a purely primal, natural state, a human wouldn't experience nearly as much negativity as they do within society. Of course, other negative emotions exist, and they always will be present, but the question is really about the degree and how much one can actually endure.👍

I suppose I rambled a bit... sorry if that was too much.😵

placidwolf27 said:Because it serves as nothing more than a bitter confirmation of my own inadequacy—my own fundamental weakness—I have to admit that I wouldn’t have achieved a single thing during those pivotal moments in my life if it weren't for the people who stepped in to help me... much like they would for their own children. There are things people have done for me—favors and gestures that didn't even cost them a second thought—yet I find myself unable to truly repay them... unless I were to spend five years working solely with the intention of making things right...

It’s a bitter pill to swallow—watching your own incompetence and weakness laid bare like that. It feels even more pathetic when you realize how much stronger and more capable everyone else is, simply because they actually had the capacity to step up and help... something I could never quite manage. I guess I'm just built that way...

Because it’s just one unending, relentless grind—day after day after day... and it’s been that way for at least decades now.

And honestly, I would pay it back. Especially if I could... some people left this world before I even got started, and others are just arriving now, whom I hope to assist if the opportunity arises. Just remember, helping isn't really about "repayment." When someone helps another person simply AS A PERSON, they aren't looking for a return. It's just what humans do. They do it because they are human.

It feels pathetic, seeing how incapable and weak you are. It feels even worse realizing how much stronger and more capable others are, simply because they were able to step in and help. I could never be in that position; I'm just built that way.

I know... I understand where you're coming from... and I realize that doesn't make the situation any easier. I am also incapable of many things. If I may say so, if it doesn't sound too presumptuous, these feelings are ultimately frustrations—however heavy they may be—that are real, and one eventually learns to live with them. I gained most of mine over the course of my life, mostly through a single experience that completely leveled me; it took years and years of work just to begin processing it... to learn how to exist alongside it. To be honest, before that happened, I didn't even have the faith or the perspective to believe such a possibility existed. It was a total mess. I hope my understanding aligns with yours, because if I'm reading you correctly based on my own history, there isn't much I can offer besides empathy and understanding.

Because it's just constant misery and bullshit, day after day after day, for at least decades.

Ugh... I've been dealing with it for years. I don't quite know how to describe the state of being, the sensation of it all... but over time, through countless falls, through breaking down and rebuilding myself, it sounds grim, but it became... easier. More tolerable. It's unpleasant, but based on my experience, I'm telling you that the misery and the bullshit eventually become manageable. Hang in there, man. Hold on. Be strong, both against the misery and the bullshit itself.

I suppose to people who haven't lived through something similar, it might sound absurd for someone to advise them to... well, essentially get used to the misery and the bullshit, or to "surrender" to such a fate. I don't truly know what you're going through, but if it is as you say—if you've already concluded that you cannot change or influence it—then that is one thing. But it's another matter entirely if/when/should you actually be able to.

Good luck. 😉

P.S. Watch the movie *Bronson*. I recommend it as a study in willpower and perseverance. Don't misunderstand me, as the film contains elements that could be interpreted negatively, but I found it to be much more positive than it appears at first glance.

placidwolf27 said:I don't know... there are certain people I have reasons to be thankful to, and frankly, that's an uncomfortable, even degrading sensation to sit with...

As for everything else—I don't know. To whom am I supposed to give thanks for, say, my anatomy? To whom?

But it’s never truly finished—we don't even know if it's finished once you die. We just comfort ourselves with the notion that, based on what we know, death is finally the end. All those things I possess that I might lose—those theoretical scenarios where I have nothing, or even actual times when I had nothing—they haven't sparked any sense of gratitude in me. They just add to the misery of having to exist. All those things that are supposedly "sources" of gratitude are merely things that make existence bearable, or simply keep it going... and nobody asked for this in the first place.

How exactly are you supposed to be grateful for being hungry every single day? If there were no food, you wouldn't be hungry every day...
but you *are* hungry every day.
And thirsty every day...
And you wake up and get out of bed every day...
And you're tired and want to sleep every day...
And you perform endless, absurd rituals every day—most often the exact same ones over and over...
And tomorrow, you'll be hungry again.

And that's just the easy part...

I wonder, why does it leave you feeling so uneasy and diminished?

As for the rest... I don't know. Who am I supposed to thank for the size of my junk? Seriously, who?

One really ought to find much more significant things to focus on in life than a penis... if one can manage to be brave enough about it.👍

But nothing is ever truly finished. We don't even know if it's over once we pass away. We just cling to the idea that death might finally provide some sort of conclusion. All these things I possess—things I could easily exist without, or theoretical scenarios where they simply aren't there, or even actual times when I lacked them—none of it has sparked any sense of gratitude within me. It only adds to the burden of having to persist. These things that others might call sources of gratitude are merely tools that make existence slightly more bearable, or perhaps they just allow it to continue. And frankly, nobody asked for this existence in the first place.

With a mindset like that... I, for one, would choose to be grateful simply because there are people around me to whom I can pose a question and engage in a somewhat coherent conversation.😬

How could anyone possibly be...

It seems to me that such a thing is a matter of choice and perception rather than capability.

FOR INSTANCE, how could you possibly remain ungrateful for everything you just listed? 🙂

gentlesailor25 said:Well, nothing really changes, obviously. It’s just that you feel a bit better about things.🤣 Or, I guess, your perception shifts a little.

To me, the whole thing seems pretty pointless, honestly. It feels kind of like practicing forced humility—you know, where people say, "hey, things could always be worse, so let's just be grateful for what we have," regardless of how bad the situation actually is.🤣

(A) For instance, how does one actually practice fasting? (And no, this isn't off-topic 🙂)

placidwolf27 said:They claim gratitude is some sort of inherently positive emotion—there are even entire self-help squads out there preaching these ritualized daily gratitude practices, suggesting they supposedly bolster one's psychological resilience over the long haul.

I just don't grasp what makes gratitude "positive" in essence, or why it should be viewed as such... nor am I clear on what one is actually supposed to be thankful for, or even why it matters in the first place.

I mean, seriously... what is that even about?

thanks for stopping by

that’s about all I have to say regarding what

there is an old American proverb that goes... "it matters more to be kind than to be right

Bryan Sanders6 said:To me, truly possessive people are those who are "never at fault" for anything; they have this innate ability to shift the blame onto everyone else by default. They don't even realize they're doing it. These are individuals who move through life with such ease, simply reshaping the world around them to suit their narrative. Even if you try to hold them accountable by presenting the cold, hard facts, they’ll just spin a hundred different excuses to prove they’re the victim here.
Why do women chase after people like this? It usually comes down to a lack of self-confidence and not knowing any better.
I constantly find myself wondering why I even have to deal with these types and how to handle them. Well, the truth is, I don't have to! I deserve much better than that!

Where exactly are you going wrong here? 🙂

Why do women chase after people like that? I guess it's because they lack self-confidence and haven't learned any better.
I find myself constantly wondering why I even have to deal with such people, and how one might resolve it. Well, the truth is, I don't have to! I can certainly demand better for myself.

Are you even a woman?

Here is a song for all the ladies "It's Better Down Below" ... yeah, yeah... I'm sure you all can do better than that.👋

Paul Martinez2 said:Only those who have something to live for truly live!

Cecile Saunders: "If a person expresses a desire to end their life, it means we have failed them completely and haven't done enough in our 'healing.' If you can ease a patient's pain and make them feel truly valued, then they won't be thinking about suicide."

It seems that people don't turn to suicide because of an excess of physical pain, but rather because of a lack of gentle human compassion.

Among other things, I suppose there is certainly

as well as perhaps far too much human hatred and malice... 😉 oh, one could list endless reasons and circumstances if one truly had the courage... though... well, I don't lack courage, nor do I lack the words, I suppose... but no one ever listens... at least not unless you're some sort of "expert." Honestly, I am completely open about this... I make no attempt to hide it... I think I would actually be quite grateful to be in their shoes for once, to have someone like that walk in... damn, what can you say? That's just life. ☕

John Baker said:I don't even care about lacking a reason, but what happens when you realize any reason you find is either wrong or just impossible?😬
Right now, I don't have a "why." I just have a massive list of reasons why not. So many of them.
That said, I don't have any suicidal urges or anything. I wouldn't even have the energy to pull it off.🤣
But if a car hit me tomorrow and just took care of everything? I certainly wouldn't complain about that.🤣

🙂

They charge you an arm and a leg—they patch you up, sure, but then they start drilling into your brain just to make sure things feel even worse than they actually are.. 😵

wanderingangler13 said:It comes down to this:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Codependency
http://www.mentalhealthamerica.net/co-dependency

..honestly, it's way more common than you'd think...

Unfortunately, I have to agree... speaking from my own experience, and just looking at things as they are now, it seems this has become "normalized." It’s reached a point where when I try to voice a complaint about it, people don't even react as if there's anything problematic at all. 😵

Ah, evolution... here we go, bit by bit. 🤣

Paul Thompson3 said:I mentioned earlier that only a handful of people actually thrive because they want to—and because it works for them. Maybe that's an oversimplification, but that's my take.
It’s honestly not easy for high achievers to actually find contentment and just enjoy life—I'd say those people are pretty rare.

That's just the way it is, I suppose... cheers.🙂

Paul Thompson3 said:Most people just exist because they’re forced to—mostly out of a fear of dying—whereas the rare few actually live because they want to and find genuine fulfillment. I imagine those who are truly broken, yet have enough guts, might check out while still in their teens; meanwhile, the majority never really hits that true, vibrant 😁 stride, just drifting through life as mere survivors until they eventually fade away.

You start with broad generalizations and then move on to specific points, but you seem to have overlooked a third category: those who actually live well and find genuine happiness. I know several elderly folks who don't spend their time complaining much; despite everything they've endured, they still maintain a certain spirit and cheerfulness.👍

Thomas Roberts3 said:Look, I’m putting myself out there to help anyone who needs it, whether you just need some solid advice or if there's something actual stuff I can do for you. I'm not looking for anything in return.

If there are any other people out there who want to jump in and help me build a little crew, we could actually make a massive difference for others. 👍

Just a heads up though, I have zero interest in joining any official volunteer organizations; I've never been one for religious groups or those organized volunteer setups where you're basically paying taxes to the government—I'd much rather just help people on a personal level or if a few of us get together to tackle something. I've got nothing but free time, so why not 🙂

Shoot me a PM.

This has been weighing on my mind for quite some time... this idea for a "civilian group." It might not look like much at first glance, if you follow me... but it’s serious business. I wasn't thinking about just mimicking a group therapy session since we have experts involved, but something along those lines. I don't mean just casual socializing; I mean something with actual substance—production work and things of that nature.

pm me... *? 🙂

A competitive mindset is ultimately destructive for everyone involved... even for those who claim to be the "winners"👍

especially within the culture I find myself navigating lately... from my own perspective, it seems people aren't actually climbing the ladder, they're just stepping on everyone else to get there😵

honestly, go ahead... I have no intention of playing by their rules👍

and once again, my 🐔 on my shoulder whispers;

if you don't care for their rules, then create your own!

northernsailor102 said:I’ve been sitting here for quite some time now, wrestling with thoughts of ending it all. Honestly, after observing the sheer absurdity of human existence and actually participating in this charade, I haven't been able to find a single legitimate reason to keep enduring this ongoing agony. It makes me wonder: what is your reason—or perhaps several reasons—for staying alive? Where does that primal urge for self-preservation and survival actually come from? What is it that forces you to keep going? What are you living for, what are you fighting for, or what have you dedicated your entire life to? Why is it that you manage to drag yourself out of bed every single morning?
I am not asking about some grand, cosmic purpose. I am asking about the practical, raw reasons why you choose to live over and over again.

ironically, death is the primary reason for living

I have thought extensively about suicide, though lately, it has become more of an occasional thing... occurring in fits and starts 😬... almost as if I have given up, yet naturally, the option remains open... just like everyone else 👍

I was so worked up once, and the situation was such that... I don't care if that sounds terrible or horrific, but life is simply like that sometimes, so I will say it was actually a rational decision/assessment despite my pathological state... it isn't really something to explain, and I feel no need to explain myself to anyone; in fact, I would prefer if no one ever understood

But in the end, the instinct... the survival instinct prevailed... I even feel wretched, like a defeated version of humanity... because if I were truly human, I would have settled it like a human would... instead, I find myself looking at myself as a meaningless being 😁 but then again, new experiences are new experiences, regardless of how they turn out. So, I suppose I'll see what a life like this has to offer and what is possible... and so, here I am, aimlessly browsing this forum 😵

Currently, I am just waiting for another episode to pass... I try to redirect my thoughts whenever I can toward the recent past, which was quite intense... I enjoyed myself for a somewhat decent stretch, and then... well, here we are again... who knows for how long... one works... one fights... alone against oneself, but who exactly is that? One can never truly know ☕

So, to summarize, briefly and clearly, mine; my reason for living is death

Perhaps if you all look atGroup Psychotherapy: The Top 7 Dumbest American Songs through that specific lens—treating them as a sort of psychological study—it might actually help resolve some of your frustrations.😵

Come on, people... one really needs to outgrow a lot of things in life. Just stay brave.👍

Hahaha, now there is a therapy session I could get behind.Vecernja Skol - The Best Band Ever 🤣

driftingbear29 said:Hey, 'hey 🙂 I really need to vent somewhere 🐔

It all started back in June when I moved to this new neighborhood. It’s only about a six-minute walk from my old 😍 area. Since that day, I’ve just felt... empty. Like, a lot. Sometimes. I get hit by these waves of nostalgia. It isn't every single day, but there are those moments where I find myself walking to my old bus stop, or heading to my old grocery store, or walking the dog through the old streets... that's where my friends are. That's where everything was. It's a mix of wonderful memories and some pretty rough ones too. But it all matters to me. And right after I moved here, my grandfather passed away, along with a few other things I had to deal with while being "far" from home. Because that place feels like home, and this doesn't. I’m not being pessimistic, but saying it helped wouldn't be true. I guess... I just attach myself deeply to the places I love. Obviously. That's where I grew up.

As for it here, I feel isolated. Truly. It's not busy at all. There isn't any of that chaos I used to live in. There aren't those amazing neighbors... you know how it goes. I'm two minutes from the main highway, sure. But there aren't any shops besides the little corner stores. There isn't... honestly, there's nothing 😁 Don't get me wrong, it's not a wasteland. The neighborhood is actually lovely, it's just... about ten months ago, I walked through here and thought there was no way I'd ever want to live here. I couldn't imagine myself in such a quiet and, for my personality, isolated area. We just don't vibe together 😛

During the summer, I was out in my old neighborhood almost every day walking the dog. Or playing frisbee in the park with friends, or sitting at one of those random apple stands you see in the town square. Just to soak up that old neighborhood energy .

I feel like a little kid. I know that sounds silly, but I get those exact same feelings I had in preschool when my dad would drop me off with the group and head to work. Alone. I don't mean I feel lonely, per se. Not really. I have two friends here I can talk to for hours and joke around with, and that makes me happy. But everyone else... they just don't click with me. It's just not my scene. This neighborhood has this kind of "ghetto vibe" 😬

Then... yeah. The only time I feel truly good is when I'm inside my apartment. Because that's where all the photos from that chapter of my life are kept. 🤣 Yeah, I divide my life into two parts. I don't know why. Inside my apartment, I feel somewhat insulated from the rest of this neighborhood. Positively insulated. My response to comments like "Oh well, it's just a few minutes away" is basically "Yeah, right." Because it isn't. This is a completely different world. Honestly. A vibe that just doesn't fit me.

I have this feeling that if I don't go back to my old neighborhood every once in a while, I'll lose the sense that it's still "mine."

Dammit

(Though, it does make me happy to think we'll probably move back to the old neighborhood permanently eventually, just not yet.)
In reality, maybe this is just a subconscious reason why I can't quite accept all of this as home.
Sure thing!

• ANYWAY:

Has anyone else ever found themselves in a similar "oldhood blues" phase? (And no, I'm not looking for psychoanalysis, but if you want to, be my guest! I would love to hear about other times you lived far away from a place you loved dearly and how you handled it. Thanks.)

Were you trying to "get away"? .. maybe you should have tried walking more than a ten-minute stroll 🙂

Quincy:

Has anyone else ever found themselves stuck in a similar "oldhood blues" phase? (And yes, I'm not looking for a psychoanalysis session, but if anyone wants to offer one, be my guest! Honestly, I would love to hear about other times people lived far away from a place they truly loved and how they handled that transition. Thanks.)

I am not certain if it is quite the same .. though there is a song that has been playing on loop in my head for a while now: what is the blues?

A legendary man .. 🙏 if not a legendary musician,[/color]

I am currently searching for anything at all from Zadruga... 🙂

You said it yourself... you have to work on yourself.. 👍 .. you just have to practice.. train.. prepare.. so that you don't end up doing the very things you want to avoid..

My advice to you is to stop kidding yourself and trying to find excuses along the way.. being objective isn't easy.. "you" will be fighting against yourself.. against your own Ego.. and it isn't some harmless endeavor, quite the contrary! .. you might even face total madness.. not to mention that people around you won't even want to listen to you, let alone understand you 😁

I doubt many people have actually done anything similar, and even fewer have produced something concrete, like a manual for others.. it’s not exactly a "popular" topic either.. not to mention whether any real awareness even exists regarding it

In my case, I suppose I am an aggressor too.. I assault those around me with questions and my relentless insistence on living like a decent human being.. I wage war against hypocrisy, dogma, and lies until I am utterly exhausted 👍 but that's beside the point 😵

I just wanted to say that I think I grasp the core of your problem, and you aren't the only one who would want to change things based on that principle

Regardless, I wish you the best of luck 👍 and take care.. if you have already committed to this battle against yourself, I would suggest finding some sort of system you can rely on should things get... "tricky" 😉

Objectively speaking, you are existing in the present moment... though I suppose subjectively, you find yourself ruminating on the past. But the reality remains that you are right here, right now... typing away on this forum. What has happened is already gone, relegated to history.

It would certainly be ideal if things were different... but quite a bit of time has to pass, and it tends to take a heavy toll on one's nerves. I truly hope it doesn't cost you too much in terms of your health, either.

It’s easy for me to sit here and talk about it—though, truth be told, I’m not entirely certain I’ve moved past it myself, even if I do have those periods where it feels a bit more manageable. Right now, at least, it feels that way. But when you're actually in the thick of it, it’s a miserable experience. There isn't really a shortcut; you just have to work on it whenever you possibly can. You have to search for solutions, practice, stay disciplined. Sometimes the progress is so subtle you barely notice it, but you have to be persistent. You can't give up, especially not on the present, and eventually, the future will start to look a little brighter. 😉