William Hill3 said:I didn't actually say that; you just simplified and interpreted it that way.
Most people around me don't really socialize—they spend far more time watching Netflix than they do hanging out. It means most people are choosing other things over social interaction. Essentially, there are plenty of distractions people prefer over a nice get-together.
Or maybe socializing just isn't "pleasant" anymore? If so, I wonder how we got here—how we became so hyper-critical of others while being totally uncritical of ourselves. That’s the crux of it. Nobody fits my criteria, I don't feel like talking to anyone, and I can't stand anybody (except my dog). This implies one of two things: either a) we are overly judgmental toward others (because it's impossible that absolutely no one is worth knowing), or b) we aren't critical enough of ourselves (since it's impossible that we're the only ones who are worthwhile).
I honestly believe people used to be much more cheerful and positive. That’s just my take, and it's not just me who feels that way. Let's face it—people are literally writing books and scientific papers about this now; it's a genuine sociological question: why is the modern human so unhappy? And everyone seems to reach the same conclusion, which aligns with my view—the zeitgeist is such that everyone is convinced they are uniquely special, misunderstood, and different from the crowd. When you have millions upon millions of people thinking exactly like that, you end up with a massive pile of grumpy individuals who overestimate themselves, underestimate everyone else, and think they're unique when, in reality, they're all identical. That's why people don't socialize as much. Everyone thinks they're better than everyone else.
People used to take photos of gatherings because they wanted a memory. Nowadays, people take photos just to rack up likes to validate their self-worth, to look good, and to create an illusion of perfection through filters. This creates the impression that everyone is loaded and living an incredible life, that everyone is attractive, and everyone is brilliant (thanks to Google searches)... Then someone who actually believes this looks at their neighbor's photos and wonders why they don't have that much money or why they don't have that great body (in 99% of cases, neither the neighbor nor the person has the money or the body). Furthermore, everything has become "instant." Everything is available at the touch of a button, which is great, but it strips away the charm. You might have once looked forward to a new album or a cassette tape. To a kid today, that means nothing; they stream a song a million times and get bored of it in three days. We've shifted toward quantity over quality in almost everything—from art and journalism to the clothes and shoes we wear. It's mostly just more shit.
Look, I’m 35 years old. I’m not some bitter, jaded person, nor do I hang out with people who act like that. I have a massive pile of responsibilities and an actual life to lead.
The connections you're talking about obviously aren't deep enough if Netflix is winning that battle... I can't imagine that happening with real family ties or lifelong best friends. Maybe that's just how your circle is, but I don't see that at all in my life. Totally baffling.
Look, I hit up bars, house parties, and weekend BBQs enough that I’ve actually started lying and making up excuses just to dodge them. I have to pace myself because sometimes everything and everyone is just... too much. Honestly, there’s nothing worse than having a day ruined by things you didn't plan for—like when someone dumps a toddler on you to babysit and suddenly you're stuck. I can handle two or three of those days, but after that, I'm "busy."
I don't know what your social battery looks like, but if you feel like your extended family or friends are stealing two days a week from you, that's plenty.
William Hill3 said:I didn't actually say that; you just simplified and interpreted it that way.
Most people around me don't really socialize—they spend far more time watching Netflix than they do hanging out. It means most people are choosing other things over social interaction. Essentially, there are plenty of distractions people prefer over a nice get-together.
Or maybe socializing just isn't "pleasant" anymore? If so, I wonder how we got here—how we became so hyper-critical of others while being totally uncritical of ourselves. That’s the crux of it. Nobody fits my criteria, I don't feel like talking to anyone, and I can't stand anybody (except my dog). This implies one of two things: either a) we are overly judgmental toward others (because it's impossible that absolutely no one is worth knowing), or b) we aren't critical enough of ourselves (since it's impossible that we're the only ones who are worthwhile).
I honestly believe people used to be much more cheerful and positive. That’s just my take, and it's not just me who feels that way. Let's face it—people are literally writing books and scientific papers about this now; it's a genuine sociological question: why is the modern human so unhappy? And everyone seems to reach the same conclusion, which aligns with my view—the zeitgeist is such that everyone is convinced they are uniquely special, misunderstood, and different from the crowd. When you have millions upon millions of people thinking exactly like that, you end up with a massive pile of grumpy individuals who overestimate themselves, underestimate everyone else, and think they're unique when, in reality, they're all identical. That's why people don't socialize as much. Everyone thinks they're better than everyone else.
People used to take photos of gatherings because they wanted a memory. Nowadays, people take photos just to rack up likes to validate their self-worth, to look good, and to create an illusion of perfection through filters. This creates the impression that everyone is loaded and living an incredible life, that everyone is attractive, and everyone is brilliant (thanks to Google searches)... Then someone who actually believes this looks at their neighbor's photos and wonders why they don't have that much money or why they don't have that great body (in 99% of cases, neither the neighbor nor the person has the money or the body). Furthermore, everything has become "instant." Everything is available at the touch of a button, which is great, but it strips away the charm. You might have once looked forward to a new album or a cassette tape. To a kid today, that means nothing; they stream a song a million times and get bored of it in three days. We've shifted toward quantity over quality in almost everything—from art and journalism to the clothes and shoes we wear. It's mostly just more shit.
Look, I’m 35 years old. I’m not some bitter, jaded person, nor do I hang out with people who act like that. I have a massive pile of responsibilities and an actual life to lead.
Well, some people just aren't stimulating, which makes hanging out a drag. You can't blame modern times for that, and it's not a reflection of someone's worth. Some people are just like that—not everyone is going to click. You've filtered people out before, right? You've made your own selections. It is what it is.
The people who "don't fit" anyone's vibe are probably just folks dealing with mental health issues or diagnoses, and honestly, they're a negligible factor in this debate since there aren't that many of them.
William Hill3 said:I didn't actually say that; you just simplified and interpreted it that way.
Most people around me don't really socialize—they spend far more time watching Netflix than they do hanging out. It means most people are choosing other things over social interaction. Essentially, there are plenty of distractions people prefer over a nice get-together.
Or maybe socializing just isn't "pleasant" anymore? If so, I wonder how we got here—how we became so hyper-critical of others while being totally uncritical of ourselves. That’s the crux of it. Nobody fits my criteria, I don't feel like talking to anyone, and I can't stand anybody (except my dog). This implies one of two things: either a) we are overly judgmental toward others (because it's impossible that absolutely no one is worth knowing), or b) we aren't critical enough of ourselves (since it's impossible that we're the only ones who are worthwhile).
I honestly believe people used to be much more cheerful and positive. That’s just my take, and it's not just me who feels that way. Let's face it—people are literally writing books and scientific papers about this now; it's a genuine sociological question: why is the modern human so unhappy? And everyone seems to reach the same conclusion, which aligns with my view—the zeitgeist is such that everyone is convinced they are uniquely special, misunderstood, and different from the crowd. When you have millions upon millions of people thinking exactly like that, you end up with a massive pile of grumpy individuals who overestimate themselves, underestimate everyone else, and think they're unique when, in reality, they're all identical. That's why people don't socialize as much. Everyone thinks they're better than everyone else.
People used to take photos of gatherings because they wanted a memory. Nowadays, people take photos just to rack up likes to validate their self-worth, to look good, and to create an illusion of perfection through filters. This creates the impression that everyone is loaded and living an incredible life, that everyone is attractive, and everyone is brilliant (thanks to Google searches)... Then someone who actually believes this looks at their neighbor's photos and wonders why they don't have that much money or why they don't have that great body (in 99% of cases, neither the neighbor nor the person has the money or the body). Furthermore, everything has become "instant." Everything is available at the touch of a button, which is great, but it strips away the charm. You might have once looked forward to a new album or a cassette tape. To a kid today, that means nothing; they stream a song a million times and get bored of it in three days. We've shifted toward quantity over quality in almost everything—from art and journalism to the clothes and shoes we wear. It's mostly just more shit.
Look, I’m 35 years old. I’m not some bitter, jaded person, nor do I hang out with people who act like that. I have a massive pile of responsibilities and an actual life to lead.
I'm positive you aren't the only one feeling this way—but I bet you're making the same mistake everyone else does. It's that constant chase for a specific feeling from back when everything felt ten times more intense... especially if it was your first time experiencing something. Like playing in the snow, jumping into puddles in a field, swimming in a lake, that first kiss, etc.
William Hill3 said:I didn't actually say that; you just simplified and interpreted it that way.
Most people around me don't really socialize—they spend far more time watching Netflix than they do hanging out. It means most people are choosing other things over social interaction. Essentially, there are plenty of distractions people prefer over a nice get-together.
Or maybe socializing just isn't "pleasant" anymore? If so, I wonder how we got here—how we became so hyper-critical of others while being totally uncritical of ourselves. That’s the crux of it. Nobody fits my criteria, I don't feel like talking to anyone, and I can't stand anybody (except my dog). This implies one of two things: either a) we are overly judgmental toward others (because it's impossible that absolutely no one is worth knowing), or b) we aren't critical enough of ourselves (since it's impossible that we're the only ones who are worthwhile).
I honestly believe people used to be much more cheerful and positive. That’s just my take, and it's not just me who feels that way. Let's face it—people are literally writing books and scientific papers about this now; it's a genuine sociological question: why is the modern human so unhappy? And everyone seems to reach the same conclusion, which aligns with my view—the zeitgeist is such that everyone is convinced they are uniquely special, misunderstood, and different from the crowd. When you have millions upon millions of people thinking exactly like that, you end up with a massive pile of grumpy individuals who overestimate themselves, underestimate everyone else, and think they're unique when, in reality, they're all identical. That's why people don't socialize as much. Everyone thinks they're better than everyone else.
People used to take photos of gatherings because they wanted a memory. Nowadays, people take photos just to rack up likes to validate their self-worth, to look good, and to create an illusion of perfection through filters. This creates the impression that everyone is loaded and living an incredible life, that everyone is attractive, and everyone is brilliant (thanks to Google searches)... Then someone who actually believes this looks at their neighbor's photos and wonders why they don't have that much money or why they don't have that great body (in 99% of cases, neither the neighbor nor the person has the money or the body). Furthermore, everything has become "instant." Everything is available at the touch of a button, which is great, but it strips away the charm. You might have once looked forward to a new album or a cassette tape. To a kid today, that means nothing; they stream a song a million times and get bored of it in three days. We've shifted toward quantity over quality in almost everything—from art and journalism to the clothes and shoes we wear. It's mostly just more shit.
Look, I’m 35 years old. I’m not some bitter, jaded person, nor do I hang out with people who act like that. I have a massive pile of responsibilities and an actual life to lead.
Exactly—because I grew up in a post-war era without much choice. My buddy from Tampa was used to having every metal classic right there in the local record shop. Same age, same people, but he was spoiled by how easy everything was to find, while I lived for the thrill of the hunt. Swap our locations and I’d be just as spoiled. It's all about circumstances, not those "grateful" types people talk about nowadays.
When you have everything handed to you, nothing excites you like someone who grew up with nothing and has to find joy in the little things. That's just reality—it's not some new thing. Those gaps have always existed. Me and some kid halfway across the world definitely don't look at a candy bar the same way. Someone living a block from the beach isn't going to view the ocean the same way someone from a tiny, isolated town in rural Kansas does, seeing it maybe once a year. And a guy who's been around the block definitely doesn't see women the same way a high schooler trying to figure out how to talk to girls does. It's an old story, a thousand years old.
Circumstances dictate everything in life. Some people sleep better now than I did during my "carefree" childhood, and some people have better relationships than folks from those supposedly "better" eras. There are no rules here.
William Hill3 said:I didn't actually say that; you just simplified and interpreted it that way.
Most people around me don't really socialize—they spend far more time watching Netflix than they do hanging out. It means most people are choosing other things over social interaction. Essentially, there are plenty of distractions people prefer over a nice get-together.
Or maybe socializing just isn't "pleasant" anymore? If so, I wonder how we got here—how we became so hyper-critical of others while being totally uncritical of ourselves. That’s the crux of it. Nobody fits my criteria, I don't feel like talking to anyone, and I can't stand anybody (except my dog). This implies one of two things: either a) we are overly judgmental toward others (because it's impossible that absolutely no one is worth knowing), or b) we aren't critical enough of ourselves (since it's impossible that we're the only ones who are worthwhile).
I honestly believe people used to be much more cheerful and positive. That’s just my take, and it's not just me who feels that way. Let's face it—people are literally writing books and scientific papers about this now; it's a genuine sociological question: why is the modern human so unhappy? And everyone seems to reach the same conclusion, which aligns with my view—the zeitgeist is such that everyone is convinced they are uniquely special, misunderstood, and different from the crowd. When you have millions upon millions of people thinking exactly like that, you end up with a massive pile of grumpy individuals who overestimate themselves, underestimate everyone else, and think they're unique when, in reality, they're all identical. That's why people don't socialize as much. Everyone thinks they're better than everyone else.
People used to take photos of gatherings because they wanted a memory. Nowadays, people take photos just to rack up likes to validate their self-worth, to look good, and to create an illusion of perfection through filters. This creates the impression that everyone is loaded and living an incredible life, that everyone is attractive, and everyone is brilliant (thanks to Google searches)... Then someone who actually believes this looks at their neighbor's photos and wonders why they don't have that much money or why they don't have that great body (in 99% of cases, neither the neighbor nor the person has the money or the body). Furthermore, everything has become "instant." Everything is available at the touch of a button, which is great, but it strips away the charm. You might have once looked forward to a new album or a cassette tape. To a kid today, that means nothing; they stream a song a million times and get bored of it in three days. We've shifted toward quantity over quality in almost everything—from art and journalism to the clothes and shoes we wear. It's mostly just more shit.
Look, I’m 35 years old. I’m not some bitter, jaded person, nor do I hang out with people who act like that. I have a massive pile of responsibilities and an actual life to lead.
Isn't it a bit "hyper-critical" of you to call them lame? I mean, when did that even happen?
I honestly can't shake the feeling that your posts are constantly trying to pick a fight with me—mostly because you take my casual observations, which I use primarily for comparison, and strip them entirely out of context. This right here is exactly why the discussion regarding 🙂 is getting so heated; I am absolutely certain that if we were actually sitting down talking face-to-face, we wouldn't be having these kinds of arguments.
When I brought up the whole teacher-versus-student dynamic, I was referring to all types of students—the troublemakers and the overachievers alike—because I've seen plenty of those scenarios play out. Almost everyone in my family works as educators in the school system, so I suppose I’m the "black sheep" when it comes to my career path... and we end up discussing this constantly whenever we're driving around. Even the straight-A students won't acknowledge their teachers when passing them on the street; the only thing the high achievers have in common with the kids who barely scraped by is that they belong to the same graduating class. My conclusion is that this lack of social etiquette persists to this day, likely due to how people are raised.
Regarding your correction: I was talking about public figures and the etiquette of greeting people you know, not total strangers—though, for what it's worth, I hear strangers shouting "Hello" all the time out in the streets of Ireland and everywhere else.
Personally, I value those small gestures—the nods, the greetings, and things of that nature.
As for music, I have a wide range of interests, but progressive rock and metal are among my absolute favorites—which is exactly what you're suggesting I listen to. For instance, Dream Theater is my favorite band; you might have heard them, but they specialize in multi-act conceptual songs and entire concept albums. I think your parallel there was a bit of a stretch.
It is entirely your prerogative to think I'm arrogant if you find it "abnormal" that I believe you should acknowledge a former teacher on the street. To me, it suggests something is fundamentally broken in our society or that social standards are slipping—and judging by some of the opinions posted here on this thread, I am certainly not the only one who feels that way.
Look, everyone loves those kinds of things, but I see them as a nice bonus—whereas for you, they seem like something people just owe you, and it clearly bugs you when they don't happen. That’s the nuance right there. It’s like opening a door for a lady; you’ll do it here and there, but you can't expect to do it for every single person or assume everyone is entitled to it. Even back in the day, women used to give up their seats for soldiers on the bus, but nowadays? You'd think that was a joke.
Just say hey to whoever says hey to you—there's always a reason behind it. If you're cool with someone, they aren't gonna ignore you. But if someone you know actually goes out of their way to avoid saying hello? There's probably a good reason for that.
jadeowl2 said:fadedrider17, look, I’ve spent some time hanging out at squats and drifting through various alternative communities, but mostly just as a visitor. Most of those communes have this whole "philosophy" and way of making decisions that’s just... way too much work for me. Too many meetings, too much involvement. Not my vibe. So instead, I try to build connections in more traditional settings—like, you know, normal neighborhoods. I actually really loved the roommate dynamic and being tight with my neighbors at my last place.
Honestly, you can just start your own little thing in your own neighborhood where people actually help each other out and hang out. You don't need a manifesto for that.
As for growing up... I mean, sure, you can act like a kid sometimes, why not? But I don't even bother hanging out with people who aren't on my wavelength (probably because they don't have the time 😬). Giving up on being myself was never an option for me. I don't know how other people deal with it, but I just don't have much in common with them.
Jamie Adams6, everyone knows that having too many choices often brings more misery than happiness. I grew up in a tiny town, and later lived in some really small rural areas, and I always felt great there... maybe specifically because you're forced to accept the people around you.
I remember reading some study once about how students at smaller universities and in smaller towns tend to be happier. Even though—or maybe because of—they don't have as many options when it comes to social circles or activities and stuff. Their friendships were deeper, and they seemed more satisfied with life. It totally lines up with what I've experienced.
If you can't make a choice, sure. But honestly? This feels like that argument about how arranged marriages are actually more stable and better than modern ones—which, let's be real, just fall apart left and right.
If that's how it went for you, well, whatever. For me, having options definitely hasn't caused any misery—nor is that some universal truth.
fadedrider17 said:If everything I've written means I'm "outdated," then fine—I'll take the label. I'm not here to play games; I wouldn't have started this discussion if I were. I was simply raised under different circumstances where, as another user pointed out, there was a certain etiquette—older people would greet younger ones, especially if, say, you had a teacher who gave you a better grade than you earned. As a reward, you wouldn't just ignore them when you pass them on the sidewalk.
We can certainly go that route—everyone stays in their own little bubble, nobody bothers anyone else, and we just keep "progressing" into total isolation...
"Many are thriving"—that’s an interesting thesis. Personally, my observations suggest the opposite: people have become almost zombie-like in their behavior and ideals. It’s reached a point where even when they think they're having the time of their lives, they're really just mimicking someone else's blueprint.
No one is "obligated" to do anything, not even to say hello on the street, but in my humble opinion, the day is just a little brighter because of such a simple gesture. It costs nothing, and it won't cost anyone their dignity—especially not some teenagers—but let them keep "breathing" in this modern age... and risk becoming arrogant far too early.
I only mentioned my "single status" in passing, specifically regarding how society pushes that label onto us, but the reality is I would never be with someone who doesn't suit my taste—and the same goes for my friends. My view is that while a person can be self-sufficient, that isn't entirely consistent with human nature. That is why I opened this thread.
It isn't just about the music; I actually buy cars from the 80s and 90s, too. I recently picked up a car with a cassette player. I genuinely enjoy those older gadgets—they serve as a reminder that life doesn't always have to be instant and effortless. Besides, it's not a baseless claim that those decades were the absolute peak of creative culture.
Look, being outdated doesn't mean you're wrong, it just means things are maybe a little extra. If you do it, cool. If you don't, also cool. Personally, it would feel super awkward to go up to old people on the street just because they're old. Like, my own grandpa wouldn't even get why some stranger is greeting him, let alone think it's this big "respectful" gesture from someone he's never met—wtf.
I was raised the same way too, but we aren't sheep meant to follow stuff blindly—just like you don't go to church just because your parents did. You keep some traditions and ditch others.
fadedrider17 said:If everything I've written means I'm "outdated," then fine—I'll take the label. I'm not here to play games; I wouldn't have started this discussion if I were. I was simply raised under different circumstances where, as another user pointed out, there was a certain etiquette—older people would greet younger ones, especially if, say, you had a teacher who gave you a better grade than you earned. As a reward, you wouldn't just ignore them when you pass them on the sidewalk.
We can certainly go that route—everyone stays in their own little bubble, nobody bothers anyone else, and we just keep "progressing" into total isolation...
"Many are thriving"—that’s an interesting thesis. Personally, my observations suggest the opposite: people have become almost zombie-like in their behavior and ideals. It’s reached a point where even when they think they're having the time of their lives, they're really just mimicking someone else's blueprint.
No one is "obligated" to do anything, not even to say hello on the street, but in my humble opinion, the day is just a little brighter because of such a simple gesture. It costs nothing, and it won't cost anyone their dignity—especially not some teenagers—but let them keep "breathing" in this modern age... and risk becoming arrogant far too early.
I only mentioned my "single status" in passing, specifically regarding how society pushes that label onto us, but the reality is I would never be with someone who doesn't suit my taste—and the same goes for my friends. My view is that while a person can be self-sufficient, that isn't entirely consistent with human nature. That is why I opened this thread.
It isn't just about the music; I actually buy cars from the 80s and 90s, too. I recently picked up a car with a cassette player. I genuinely enjoy those older gadgets—they serve as a reminder that life doesn't always have to be instant and effortless. Besides, it's not a baseless claim that those decades were the absolute peak of creative culture.
Well, if they were handing out grades like candy, maybe those students were mature enough to realize that the teacher was actually degrading their profession and losing all respect in the process.
fadedrider17 said:If everything I've written means I'm "outdated," then fine—I'll take the label. I'm not here to play games; I wouldn't have started this discussion if I were. I was simply raised under different circumstances where, as another user pointed out, there was a certain etiquette—older people would greet younger ones, especially if, say, you had a teacher who gave you a better grade than you earned. As a reward, you wouldn't just ignore them when you pass them on the sidewalk.
We can certainly go that route—everyone stays in their own little bubble, nobody bothers anyone else, and we just keep "progressing" into total isolation...
"Many are thriving"—that’s an interesting thesis. Personally, my observations suggest the opposite: people have become almost zombie-like in their behavior and ideals. It’s reached a point where even when they think they're having the time of their lives, they're really just mimicking someone else's blueprint.
No one is "obligated" to do anything, not even to say hello on the street, but in my humble opinion, the day is just a little brighter because of such a simple gesture. It costs nothing, and it won't cost anyone their dignity—especially not some teenagers—but let them keep "breathing" in this modern age... and risk becoming arrogant far too early.
I only mentioned my "single status" in passing, specifically regarding how society pushes that label onto us, but the reality is I would never be with someone who doesn't suit my taste—and the same goes for my friends. My view is that while a person can be self-sufficient, that isn't entirely consistent with human nature. That is why I opened this thread.
It isn't just about the music; I actually buy cars from the 80s and 90s, too. I recently picked up a car with a cassette player. I genuinely enjoy those older gadgets—they serve as a reminder that life doesn't always have to be instant and effortless. Besides, it's not a baseless claim that those decades were the absolute peak of creative culture.
They’d be zombies even if everyone acted exactly the way you wanted them to—except then they'd just be zombies that fit your preferences. Diversity is what makes life interesting.
fadedrider17 said:If everything I've written means I'm "outdated," then fine—I'll take the label. I'm not here to play games; I wouldn't have started this discussion if I were. I was simply raised under different circumstances where, as another user pointed out, there was a certain etiquette—older people would greet younger ones, especially if, say, you had a teacher who gave you a better grade than you earned. As a reward, you wouldn't just ignore them when you pass them on the sidewalk.
We can certainly go that route—everyone stays in their own little bubble, nobody bothers anyone else, and we just keep "progressing" into total isolation...
"Many are thriving"—that’s an interesting thesis. Personally, my observations suggest the opposite: people have become almost zombie-like in their behavior and ideals. It’s reached a point where even when they think they're having the time of their lives, they're really just mimicking someone else's blueprint.
No one is "obligated" to do anything, not even to say hello on the street, but in my humble opinion, the day is just a little brighter because of such a simple gesture. It costs nothing, and it won't cost anyone their dignity—especially not some teenagers—but let them keep "breathing" in this modern age... and risk becoming arrogant far too early.
I only mentioned my "single status" in passing, specifically regarding how society pushes that label onto us, but the reality is I would never be with someone who doesn't suit my taste—and the same goes for my friends. My view is that while a person can be self-sufficient, that isn't entirely consistent with human nature. That is why I opened this thread.
It isn't just about the music; I actually buy cars from the 80s and 90s, too. I recently picked up a car with a cassette player. I genuinely enjoy those older gadgets—they serve as a reminder that life doesn't always have to be instant and effortless. Besides, it's not a baseless claim that those decades were the absolute peak of creative culture.
I don't know, I'm well past thirty, so I don't consider myself arrogant just because I don't strike up a conversation with some random elderly person on the sidewalk. Arrogance isn't what you think it is—it's not about refusing to act exactly how you want others to behave. If anything, arrogance is exactly what you're doing right now: expecting everyone else to conform to your specific vision of how society should look.
fadedrider17 said:If everything I've written means I'm "outdated," then fine—I'll take the label. I'm not here to play games; I wouldn't have started this discussion if I were. I was simply raised under different circumstances where, as another user pointed out, there was a certain etiquette—older people would greet younger ones, especially if, say, you had a teacher who gave you a better grade than you earned. As a reward, you wouldn't just ignore them when you pass them on the sidewalk.
We can certainly go that route—everyone stays in their own little bubble, nobody bothers anyone else, and we just keep "progressing" into total isolation...
"Many are thriving"—that’s an interesting thesis. Personally, my observations suggest the opposite: people have become almost zombie-like in their behavior and ideals. It’s reached a point where even when they think they're having the time of their lives, they're really just mimicking someone else's blueprint.
No one is "obligated" to do anything, not even to say hello on the street, but in my humble opinion, the day is just a little brighter because of such a simple gesture. It costs nothing, and it won't cost anyone their dignity—especially not some teenagers—but let them keep "breathing" in this modern age... and risk becoming arrogant far too early.
I only mentioned my "single status" in passing, specifically regarding how society pushes that label onto us, but the reality is I would never be with someone who doesn't suit my taste—and the same goes for my friends. My view is that while a person can be self-sufficient, that isn't entirely consistent with human nature. That is why I opened this thread.
It isn't just about the music; I actually buy cars from the 80s and 90s, too. I recently picked up a car with a cassette player. I genuinely enjoy those older gadgets—they serve as a reminder that life doesn't always have to be instant and effortless. Besides, it's not a baseless claim that those decades were the absolute peak of creative culture.
well, who exactly is shoving it in your face? damn, they're old. and if they're in a bad marriage, with who? some other old guy? both probably grew up when things were actually normal and cultured, right? meanwhile, those obnoxious teenagers haven't asked you anything like that once—am I right? damn them for being so polite and holding back those tacky questions.
fadedrider17 said:If everything I've written means I'm "outdated," then fine—I'll take the label. I'm not here to play games; I wouldn't have started this discussion if I were. I was simply raised under different circumstances where, as another user pointed out, there was a certain etiquette—older people would greet younger ones, especially if, say, you had a teacher who gave you a better grade than you earned. As a reward, you wouldn't just ignore them when you pass them on the sidewalk.
We can certainly go that route—everyone stays in their own little bubble, nobody bothers anyone else, and we just keep "progressing" into total isolation...
"Many are thriving"—that’s an interesting thesis. Personally, my observations suggest the opposite: people have become almost zombie-like in their behavior and ideals. It’s reached a point where even when they think they're having the time of their lives, they're really just mimicking someone else's blueprint.
No one is "obligated" to do anything, not even to say hello on the street, but in my humble opinion, the day is just a little brighter because of such a simple gesture. It costs nothing, and it won't cost anyone their dignity—especially not some teenagers—but let them keep "breathing" in this modern age... and risk becoming arrogant far too early.
I only mentioned my "single status" in passing, specifically regarding how society pushes that label onto us, but the reality is I would never be with someone who doesn't suit my taste—and the same goes for my friends. My view is that while a person can be self-sufficient, that isn't entirely consistent with human nature. That is why I opened this thread.
It isn't just about the music; I actually buy cars from the 80s and 90s, too. I recently picked up a car with a cassette player. I genuinely enjoy those older gadgets—they serve as a reminder that life doesn't always have to be instant and effortless. Besides, it's not a baseless claim that those decades were the absolute peak of creative culture.
Respect. Just keep in mind that those 80s kids are currently claiming the 70s crowd was even better. And let's be real, a huge chunk of the 80s was just basic, catchy one-hit wonders—so maybe it's finally time to dive into some prog rock bands with 36-minute songs that even the band members can't stand.
William Hill3 said:I have to disagree with you there. I’ve spent a lot of time turning the question from this thread over in my head, wondering if I’ve just become one of those cynical 30-somethings who constantly moans about "the good old days." But that isn't it for me. My life is actually great right now—honestly, I couldn't ask for more. However, there was a specific level of pure, unadulterated joy I could tap into back then that I just haven't been able to replicate. It wasn't about being a kid; it was about the environment. Back then, I could be out on the street with twenty kids kicking a soccer ball around, wearing a shirt covered in melted ice cream and clutching a PB&J sandwich, and feel completely invincible. Or later, singing and dancing the night away with a rowdy crowd at a local dive bar. I felt that rush then, and I don't feel it now, even though my life was objectively harder back then. You might argue it’s just because I was younger, but I don't buy that. The truth is, you don't see that many kids playing outside in the neighborhood anymore, and you certainly don't find those groups of people out at the pub, losing themselves in the moment. Everyone is glued to Netflix or scrolling through a group chat. And let me tell you, no cinematic masterpiece on Netflix or endless scrolling on a chat app is ever going to trigger the same serotonin spike as being surrounded by positive people in a room full of life.
Modern life gives you this incredible opportunity to basically never leave your apartment and interact with almost nobody. It used to be that social contact was practically mandatory. You’d find yourself stuck in a boring afternoon where you were forced to head out and actually mingle with people. That’s when the real stuff happened—those random experiences, the ridiculous jokes, the unplanned parties that end up becoming lifelong memories. Back then, we used those 35mm film canisters to capture the moments we never wanted to forget. Nowadays, we just use our phones to show off how good our bodies look and compete over who can rack up more likes. Honestly, that says everything you need to know about where we're at. In a room full of twenty people, you actually had to make an impression. You had to crack a joke, tell a story, or just be interesting... and everyone else had to step up too. Today? It’s enough to just retreat to a corner and grab your phone.
Back when people actually had to interact face-to-face, social skills and emotional intelligence weren't just buzzwords—they were survival tools. You developed them naturally. Now? It’s like we’ve collectively regressed. Take one woman on this forum, for instance; she’s currently stuck explaining that it is, in fact, abnormal for someone to ghost you and then pop up two hours later claiming they "forgot" about your plans without even a basic apology. In the past, nobody would have even questioned that kind of behavior. It wasn't an option. There used to be guys who might flirt or compliment you, sure, but they understood the unspoken rule: you show a baseline level of respect or demonstrate some actual interest before jumping into anything. There was a process. A standard. Nowadays, you just get someone sliding into your DMs with a random photo of a kite, acting like they've done something. And what exactly is the end goal there? Honestly, if you want to talk about emotional intelligence and social graces, we're looking at a total deficit.
Once you’re actually forced to step out and engage with people, you start accepting them for who they are. You begin to tolerate their quirks and embrace their differences. It’s like, "Ann only checks about 70% of my boxes, but she’s fine, so we hang out because nobody is perfect." Nowadays, everyone seems to have an exhaustive A-to-Z checklist of exactly how their ideal friend should look and act. It’s just a shame that nobody applies that same scrutiny to themselves—no one stops to ask what kind of friend *they* actually bring to the table. In the end, people just wind up hanging out with their dogs, because at least you can patronize a pet and train them to behave exactly how you want.
It seems to me that people have never been more isolated, which inevitably drags down the quality of family dynamics too. There was a time when you actually had genuine friends and a social circle to lean on; you weren't just drifting through life alone. Nowadays, most people have nobody, so they end up latching onto the very first person who crosses their path. They rush into marriages and then act genuinely surprised when the relationship loses its spark almost immediately. An absurd number of people are just pairing up because they’re terrified of being alone, mostly because so few people actually possess the capacity to be comfortable in their own company. If you ask me, I genuinely miss how things used to be—that different kind of rhythm. Life felt more positive back then, more fun, and people actually knew how to socialize. They practiced those social skills every single day, learning how to set boundaries and respect where others stood. It seems like we developed a much sharper sense of empathy than what’s prevalent today. I lived through enough of that era to remember how the older generation would just hang out on their porches during the summer, laughing together, and how the days would just fly by when I was out with my friends, just constant laughter and nonsense. And it wasn't just me; it was everyone. So, yeah. I remember.
And to finally address the question—how am I adjusting? Honestly, I’ve managed it by building my own little bubble. I fill my time with things I actually enjoy, focusing on my family, my husband whom I love, my kid, and my hobbies. I make sure my day is packed with things that bring me joy. I have a small circle of dear friends I grab a drink with occasionally; these connections are relatively new, so they’ll either grow into something lasting or they won't. Personally, I don't have the time, the energy, or the desire for "instant" relationships. Nowadays, everything is designed for immediate gratification—from food and communication to the very fabric of society. Of course, there are pros and cons to all this convenience, but for me, the era I grew up in had better music, better movies, better parties, and deeper connections. It was a time when people actually expressed their emotions by speaking or writing about how they felt, rather than just sending some animated GIF of a cartoon dog with a heart coming out of its butt.
... which is actually a good thing, right? Because when you mentioned how being "forced" makes it easier to accept people—their flaws and all that baggage they refuse to work on—while society packages it up as "diversity," it briefly sounded like you were suggesting having fewer options is actually the way to go.
William Hill3 said:I have to disagree with you there. I’ve spent a lot of time turning the question from this thread over in my head, wondering if I’ve just become one of those cynical 30-somethings who constantly moans about "the good old days." But that isn't it for me. My life is actually great right now—honestly, I couldn't ask for more. However, there was a specific level of pure, unadulterated joy I could tap into back then that I just haven't been able to replicate. It wasn't about being a kid; it was about the environment. Back then, I could be out on the street with twenty kids kicking a soccer ball around, wearing a shirt covered in melted ice cream and clutching a PB&J sandwich, and feel completely invincible. Or later, singing and dancing the night away with a rowdy crowd at a local dive bar. I felt that rush then, and I don't feel it now, even though my life was objectively harder back then. You might argue it’s just because I was younger, but I don't buy that. The truth is, you don't see that many kids playing outside in the neighborhood anymore, and you certainly don't find those groups of people out at the pub, losing themselves in the moment. Everyone is glued to Netflix or scrolling through a group chat. And let me tell you, no cinematic masterpiece on Netflix or endless scrolling on a chat app is ever going to trigger the same serotonin spike as being surrounded by positive people in a room full of life.
Modern life gives you this incredible opportunity to basically never leave your apartment and interact with almost nobody. It used to be that social contact was practically mandatory. You’d find yourself stuck in a boring afternoon where you were forced to head out and actually mingle with people. That’s when the real stuff happened—those random experiences, the ridiculous jokes, the unplanned parties that end up becoming lifelong memories. Back then, we used those 35mm film canisters to capture the moments we never wanted to forget. Nowadays, we just use our phones to show off how good our bodies look and compete over who can rack up more likes. Honestly, that says everything you need to know about where we're at. In a room full of twenty people, you actually had to make an impression. You had to crack a joke, tell a story, or just be interesting... and everyone else had to step up too. Today? It’s enough to just retreat to a corner and grab your phone.
Back when people actually had to interact face-to-face, social skills and emotional intelligence weren't just buzzwords—they were survival tools. You developed them naturally. Now? It’s like we’ve collectively regressed. Take one woman on this forum, for instance; she’s currently stuck explaining that it is, in fact, abnormal for someone to ghost you and then pop up two hours later claiming they "forgot" about your plans without even a basic apology. In the past, nobody would have even questioned that kind of behavior. It wasn't an option. There used to be guys who might flirt or compliment you, sure, but they understood the unspoken rule: you show a baseline level of respect or demonstrate some actual interest before jumping into anything. There was a process. A standard. Nowadays, you just get someone sliding into your DMs with a random photo of a kite, acting like they've done something. And what exactly is the end goal there? Honestly, if you want to talk about emotional intelligence and social graces, we're looking at a total deficit.
Once you’re actually forced to step out and engage with people, you start accepting them for who they are. You begin to tolerate their quirks and embrace their differences. It’s like, "Ann only checks about 70% of my boxes, but she’s fine, so we hang out because nobody is perfect." Nowadays, everyone seems to have an exhaustive A-to-Z checklist of exactly how their ideal friend should look and act. It’s just a shame that nobody applies that same scrutiny to themselves—no one stops to ask what kind of friend *they* actually bring to the table. In the end, people just wind up hanging out with their dogs, because at least you can patronize a pet and train them to behave exactly how you want.
It seems to me that people have never been more isolated, which inevitably drags down the quality of family dynamics too. There was a time when you actually had genuine friends and a social circle to lean on; you weren't just drifting through life alone. Nowadays, most people have nobody, so they end up latching onto the very first person who crosses their path. They rush into marriages and then act genuinely surprised when the relationship loses its spark almost immediately. An absurd number of people are just pairing up because they’re terrified of being alone, mostly because so few people actually possess the capacity to be comfortable in their own company. If you ask me, I genuinely miss how things used to be—that different kind of rhythm. Life felt more positive back then, more fun, and people actually knew how to socialize. They practiced those social skills every single day, learning how to set boundaries and respect where others stood. It seems like we developed a much sharper sense of empathy than what’s prevalent today. I lived through enough of that era to remember how the older generation would just hang out on their porches during the summer, laughing together, and how the days would just fly by when I was out with my friends, just constant laughter and nonsense. And it wasn't just me; it was everyone. So, yeah. I remember.
And to finally address the question—how am I adjusting? Honestly, I’ve managed it by building my own little bubble. I fill my time with things I actually enjoy, focusing on my family, my husband whom I love, my kid, and my hobbies. I make sure my day is packed with things that bring me joy. I have a small circle of dear friends I grab a drink with occasionally; these connections are relatively new, so they’ll either grow into something lasting or they won't. Personally, I don't have the time, the energy, or the desire for "instant" relationships. Nowadays, everything is designed for immediate gratification—from food and communication to the very fabric of society. Of course, there are pros and cons to all this convenience, but for me, the era I grew up in had better music, better movies, better parties, and deeper connections. It was a time when people actually expressed their emotions by speaking or writing about how they felt, rather than just sending some animated GIF of a cartoon dog with a heart coming out of its butt.
It's hard for me to say exactly how one thing is being prioritized over good company without a specific example. Netflix keeps coming up, but I'd be shocked if that’s really the only reason Mary isn't grabbing coffee with the neighbor. Maybe she's just tired of hearing the same old complaints over and over, so Netflix is just a nice way to kill the boredom. No one skips a stimulating hangout or a date just because of some show—at the end of the day, nobody thinks *they* are a boring or exhausting person to talk to, so it's much easier to just blame Netflix.
William Hill3 said:I have to disagree with you there. I’ve spent a lot of time turning the question from this thread over in my head, wondering if I’ve just become one of those cynical 30-somethings who constantly moans about "the good old days." But that isn't it for me. My life is actually great right now—honestly, I couldn't ask for more. However, there was a specific level of pure, unadulterated joy I could tap into back then that I just haven't been able to replicate. It wasn't about being a kid; it was about the environment. Back then, I could be out on the street with twenty kids kicking a soccer ball around, wearing a shirt covered in melted ice cream and clutching a PB&J sandwich, and feel completely invincible. Or later, singing and dancing the night away with a rowdy crowd at a local dive bar. I felt that rush then, and I don't feel it now, even though my life was objectively harder back then. You might argue it’s just because I was younger, but I don't buy that. The truth is, you don't see that many kids playing outside in the neighborhood anymore, and you certainly don't find those groups of people out at the pub, losing themselves in the moment. Everyone is glued to Netflix or scrolling through a group chat. And let me tell you, no cinematic masterpiece on Netflix or endless scrolling on a chat app is ever going to trigger the same serotonin spike as being surrounded by positive people in a room full of life.
Modern life gives you this incredible opportunity to basically never leave your apartment and interact with almost nobody. It used to be that social contact was practically mandatory. You’d find yourself stuck in a boring afternoon where you were forced to head out and actually mingle with people. That’s when the real stuff happened—those random experiences, the ridiculous jokes, the unplanned parties that end up becoming lifelong memories. Back then, we used those 35mm film canisters to capture the moments we never wanted to forget. Nowadays, we just use our phones to show off how good our bodies look and compete over who can rack up more likes. Honestly, that says everything you need to know about where we're at. In a room full of twenty people, you actually had to make an impression. You had to crack a joke, tell a story, or just be interesting... and everyone else had to step up too. Today? It’s enough to just retreat to a corner and grab your phone.
Back when people actually had to interact face-to-face, social skills and emotional intelligence weren't just buzzwords—they were survival tools. You developed them naturally. Now? It’s like we’ve collectively regressed. Take one woman on this forum, for instance; she’s currently stuck explaining that it is, in fact, abnormal for someone to ghost you and then pop up two hours later claiming they "forgot" about your plans without even a basic apology. In the past, nobody would have even questioned that kind of behavior. It wasn't an option. There used to be guys who might flirt or compliment you, sure, but they understood the unspoken rule: you show a baseline level of respect or demonstrate some actual interest before jumping into anything. There was a process. A standard. Nowadays, you just get someone sliding into your DMs with a random photo of a kite, acting like they've done something. And what exactly is the end goal there? Honestly, if you want to talk about emotional intelligence and social graces, we're looking at a total deficit.
Once you’re actually forced to step out and engage with people, you start accepting them for who they are. You begin to tolerate their quirks and embrace their differences. It’s like, "Ann only checks about 70% of my boxes, but she’s fine, so we hang out because nobody is perfect." Nowadays, everyone seems to have an exhaustive A-to-Z checklist of exactly how their ideal friend should look and act. It’s just a shame that nobody applies that same scrutiny to themselves—no one stops to ask what kind of friend *they* actually bring to the table. In the end, people just wind up hanging out with their dogs, because at least you can patronize a pet and train them to behave exactly how you want.
It seems to me that people have never been more isolated, which inevitably drags down the quality of family dynamics too. There was a time when you actually had genuine friends and a social circle to lean on; you weren't just drifting through life alone. Nowadays, most people have nobody, so they end up latching onto the very first person who crosses their path. They rush into marriages and then act genuinely surprised when the relationship loses its spark almost immediately. An absurd number of people are just pairing up because they’re terrified of being alone, mostly because so few people actually possess the capacity to be comfortable in their own company. If you ask me, I genuinely miss how things used to be—that different kind of rhythm. Life felt more positive back then, more fun, and people actually knew how to socialize. They practiced those social skills every single day, learning how to set boundaries and respect where others stood. It seems like we developed a much sharper sense of empathy than what’s prevalent today. I lived through enough of that era to remember how the older generation would just hang out on their porches during the summer, laughing together, and how the days would just fly by when I was out with my friends, just constant laughter and nonsense. And it wasn't just me; it was everyone. So, yeah. I remember.
And to finally address the question—how am I adjusting? Honestly, I’ve managed it by building my own little bubble. I fill my time with things I actually enjoy, focusing on my family, my husband whom I love, my kid, and my hobbies. I make sure my day is packed with things that bring me joy. I have a small circle of dear friends I grab a drink with occasionally; these connections are relatively new, so they’ll either grow into something lasting or they won't. Personally, I don't have the time, the energy, or the desire for "instant" relationships. Nowadays, everything is designed for immediate gratification—from food and communication to the very fabric of society. Of course, there are pros and cons to all this convenience, but for me, the era I grew up in had better music, better movies, better parties, and deeper connections. It was a time when people actually expressed their emotions by speaking or writing about how they felt, rather than just sending some animated GIF of a cartoon dog with a heart coming out of its butt.
Someone I know? Yeah, sure. You greet acquaintances—that's why they're called acquaintances! You don't just bow down to someone simply because they're over 50 and call it "respect."
William Hill3 said:I have to disagree with you there. I’ve spent a lot of time turning the question from this thread over in my head, wondering if I’ve just become one of those cynical 30-somethings who constantly moans about "the good old days." But that isn't it for me. My life is actually great right now—honestly, I couldn't ask for more. However, there was a specific level of pure, unadulterated joy I could tap into back then that I just haven't been able to replicate. It wasn't about being a kid; it was about the environment. Back then, I could be out on the street with twenty kids kicking a soccer ball around, wearing a shirt covered in melted ice cream and clutching a PB&J sandwich, and feel completely invincible. Or later, singing and dancing the night away with a rowdy crowd at a local dive bar. I felt that rush then, and I don't feel it now, even though my life was objectively harder back then. You might argue it’s just because I was younger, but I don't buy that. The truth is, you don't see that many kids playing outside in the neighborhood anymore, and you certainly don't find those groups of people out at the pub, losing themselves in the moment. Everyone is glued to Netflix or scrolling through a group chat. And let me tell you, no cinematic masterpiece on Netflix or endless scrolling on a chat app is ever going to trigger the same serotonin spike as being surrounded by positive people in a room full of life.
Modern life gives you this incredible opportunity to basically never leave your apartment and interact with almost nobody. It used to be that social contact was practically mandatory. You’d find yourself stuck in a boring afternoon where you were forced to head out and actually mingle with people. That’s when the real stuff happened—those random experiences, the ridiculous jokes, the unplanned parties that end up becoming lifelong memories. Back then, we used those 35mm film canisters to capture the moments we never wanted to forget. Nowadays, we just use our phones to show off how good our bodies look and compete over who can rack up more likes. Honestly, that says everything you need to know about where we're at. In a room full of twenty people, you actually had to make an impression. You had to crack a joke, tell a story, or just be interesting... and everyone else had to step up too. Today? It’s enough to just retreat to a corner and grab your phone.
Back when people actually had to interact face-to-face, social skills and emotional intelligence weren't just buzzwords—they were survival tools. You developed them naturally. Now? It’s like we’ve collectively regressed. Take one woman on this forum, for instance; she’s currently stuck explaining that it is, in fact, abnormal for someone to ghost you and then pop up two hours later claiming they "forgot" about your plans without even a basic apology. In the past, nobody would have even questioned that kind of behavior. It wasn't an option. There used to be guys who might flirt or compliment you, sure, but they understood the unspoken rule: you show a baseline level of respect or demonstrate some actual interest before jumping into anything. There was a process. A standard. Nowadays, you just get someone sliding into your DMs with a random photo of a kite, acting like they've done something. And what exactly is the end goal there? Honestly, if you want to talk about emotional intelligence and social graces, we're looking at a total deficit.
Once you’re actually forced to step out and engage with people, you start accepting them for who they are. You begin to tolerate their quirks and embrace their differences. It’s like, "Ann only checks about 70% of my boxes, but she’s fine, so we hang out because nobody is perfect." Nowadays, everyone seems to have an exhaustive A-to-Z checklist of exactly how their ideal friend should look and act. It’s just a shame that nobody applies that same scrutiny to themselves—no one stops to ask what kind of friend *they* actually bring to the table. In the end, people just wind up hanging out with their dogs, because at least you can patronize a pet and train them to behave exactly how you want.
It seems to me that people have never been more isolated, which inevitably drags down the quality of family dynamics too. There was a time when you actually had genuine friends and a social circle to lean on; you weren't just drifting through life alone. Nowadays, most people have nobody, so they end up latching onto the very first person who crosses their path. They rush into marriages and then act genuinely surprised when the relationship loses its spark almost immediately. An absurd number of people are just pairing up because they’re terrified of being alone, mostly because so few people actually possess the capacity to be comfortable in their own company. If you ask me, I genuinely miss how things used to be—that different kind of rhythm. Life felt more positive back then, more fun, and people actually knew how to socialize. They practiced those social skills every single day, learning how to set boundaries and respect where others stood. It seems like we developed a much sharper sense of empathy than what’s prevalent today. I lived through enough of that era to remember how the older generation would just hang out on their porches during the summer, laughing together, and how the days would just fly by when I was out with my friends, just constant laughter and nonsense. And it wasn't just me; it was everyone. So, yeah. I remember.
And to finally address the question—how am I adjusting? Honestly, I’ve managed it by building my own little bubble. I fill my time with things I actually enjoy, focusing on my family, my husband whom I love, my kid, and my hobbies. I make sure my day is packed with things that bring me joy. I have a small circle of dear friends I grab a drink with occasionally; these connections are relatively new, so they’ll either grow into something lasting or they won't. Personally, I don't have the time, the energy, or the desire for "instant" relationships. Nowadays, everything is designed for immediate gratification—from food and communication to the very fabric of society. Of course, there are pros and cons to all this convenience, but for me, the era I grew up in had better music, better movies, better parties, and deeper connections. It was a time when people actually expressed their emotions by speaking or writing about how they felt, rather than just sending some animated GIF of a cartoon dog with a heart coming out of its butt.
Honestly, that bitterness is exactly what separates kids from adults—it's those little tensions you carry because of responsibilities, money stress, health issues, and all that other stuff that leaves scars on your soul over the years. And let's face it, you're mostly hanging out with adults anyway, so that's all you really notice. I used to see the opposite mostly in American movies or Fanta commercials. Come to think of it, if I were living in a country like America and seeing mostly smiling, optimistic people, that would actually be a sign that they started going overboard with certain substances.
Bottom line—it actually seems better when we have zero options. It forces us to practice patience and just deal with flaky friends, partners, services, or apps. But once you've got plenty of choices? That mediocre stuff isn't your only option anymore. We get way more critical, and if things aren't hitting the mark, we just pivot elsewhere. Basically, instead of learning how to accept what doesn't fit, we just "detach" from it entirely.
Let's face it—the only reason this thread even exists is because the OP ended up on a side they never expected to be on. This whole crowd is just the opposite of those young people out there who pair up, keep long-term friendships, and actually live in the same community. Thinking everyone else is miserable and lonely just because they didn't adopt the "idealized" habits pushed here is honestly naive. A lot of people are actually thriving right now simply because their character fits the modern era much better.
Btw, that whole idea of "respecting" elders or feeling obligated to talk to total strangers just because of their age? That's about as outdated as a Henry Ford. You don't owe anyone your time just because you happen to be walking down the same street.
People always romanticize stuff they haven't actually lived through—like those legendary eighties or any other era from back in the day. It’s mostly because their only connection to it is some glorified highlight reel where everything looks perfect. Like, you know how older folks swear Lionel Messi isn't even in the same league as Maradona? Well, they maybe caught him playing three times total, whereas we get to see Messi every single weekend—including all his off days and slumps. Ironically, on YouTube compilations, Maradona never misses a shot, never loses his form, and never struggles. Not him, not Pele, not anyone from that "romanticized" past—that’s literally the whole point of those clips: show the greatness and hide the failures. And then people draw massive conclusions based on that—just like they judge the seventies or eighties based on their parents' lives, movies, or music—as if those eras weren't full of lonely, depressed, or struggling people who weren't just some perfect, inclusive utopia.
The thing is—to feel actual nostalgia, you need time to pass, which means you’ve aged in the process. It’s way more likely that someone is actually longing for their own youth or a second chance at things they missed, rather than the social vibes of a specific decade. Because when you grow old and realize you aren't where you planned to be, that same feeling follows you regardless of the era. In a moment of weakness, you start thinking life would've been better in a different time—one where the circumstances that held you back in the present didn't exist—so you just time-travel in your head to find comfort. Honestly, a lot of them are probably right—maybe things *would* have been easier in those "simpler" times—but it’s not productive, and those kinds of thoughts should stay strictly in the last ten minutes before you fall asleep.
Perfumes lasted longer, music was way more diverse, and soccer was definitely more exciting back then—I'll give you that—but it seems to me that people are basically jerks in every single era.
Look, you aren't obligated to save the world—or even the people drowning in it—especially when they’re busy driving you absolutely insane. Honestly? People like that just play dirty by trying to guilt-trip everyone else. Just kick them to the curb and get some sleep without the stress—maybe then they'll realize they need a better strategy and remember who they messed with next time.
Brian Palmer6 said:Sorry if this is a bit off-topic, but it’s kind of about self-destructive behavior. I was seeing my boyfriend until almost four months ago—we had a really lovely four years together. Things got pretty tense right before we split, mostly because we were both under so much pressure. My job was absolutely draining me, and then my parents got sick with COVID, which just added to the stress. I won't go too deep into the details, but my ex started using drugs. He wasn't even the type to ruin his life like that before things got heavy, but he's such a naive guy—he either couldn't see how bad things were getting or just refused to acknowledge it. I knew his current job at Goldman Sachs was sucking the joy out of him, but he’d get so defensive if I mentioned it; I guess he’d rather take the big paycheck for some temporary happiness than actually change anything. He was usually such an optimistic, sweet, and humble guy, but he started changing. Especially after he started hanging out with people I never liked from the start—though I kept it to myself because he gets so worked up whenever I question his crowd (not everyone, obviously). It didn't sit right with me when he decided to flirt with this one girl, and then claimed he was just being friendly with another "friend." It felt weird, and I honestly never acted jealous or interrogated him. But he just insisted he didn't see what the big deal was, blah, blah... I told him I trusted him, just not her, since she’s always been trouble. Then, out of nowhere, he decided to end things. I know he wasn't cheating on me, and I wasn't nagging him about it. He was just being dishonest and, frankly, gross. He blamed all our problems on me, refusing to admit he messed up his part too—he’s always avoided having real conversations to fix things. We tried doing a break/separation thing, whatever. A few weeks ago, he finally admitted he'd been smoking weed and snorting stuff at a party with that girl, her boyfriend, and some other guy he looks up to. I was so shocked I didn't even yell at him that much. He said he hated it and doesn't want to be "that guy" with drugs. Before all this, he always used to say he'd rather have a glass of cognac than touch drugs. He had friends who fell into that trap, and he didn't want to be a victim of that too. It’s been almost four months since we last spoke. We would text occasionally, but today I just had this gut feeling to reach out. I asked how he was, and he just coldly texted back that he's out drinking and doing drugs and hasn't made it home yet. I literally froze in the middle of the street and thought, "I need to cut him out of my life for good." I feel bad for him, but he brought this on himself. I’d love to help, but I know I have to protect myself—if he actually cared about me, he would have left those losers behind, reconciled with me, and worked on himself, you know, learning some self-respect. I don't know what to do. He’s become incredibly self-destructive, and when I pointed that out a few months ago, he just snapped at me. I think the abortion hit him really hard, even though he was the one pushing for it so we wouldn't "lose our youth" or move in together too fast. Now it feels like it's catching up to him because he suppressed all that sadness. He also pushed down all his frustration from work, and now with this new crew (that girl is actually his coworker now) giving him powders to relax... well. I told him that isn't a good crowd for him, but I seriously doubt he'll get it. To him, it's all just fine. What do you guys think about all this?
Absolutely nothing. You two are done—no kids, no ties holding you back. If someone wants to overdose and check out, honestly... that's their business. It doesn't affect you at all.
darksurfer4 said:If you're an introvert, like myself, you truly don't require anything beyond that setup. If you're an extrovert, sure, you probably crave something more substantial. But from what I can gather, she doesn't even seem to have the small circle you're describing?
Not necessarily—being an extrovert usually means you're more assertive and, on average, crave social interaction a bit more than the shy types... but that doesn't mean you need a massive squad. For like 99% of my own circle—family, acquaintances, whatever—what I said before totally holds up: there’s actually only a tiny handful of people you could truly call "friends." And honestly? That doesn't make you an introvert.
The internet is just what it is—honestly, I’m not even surprised we've split into two different species because of it, though the gap isn't actually that huge. It's the same deal with those Myers-Briggs tests, birth charts, and all that other nonsense people swallow whole—it's wild. Au contraire, extroverts can totally thrive with just a tiny circle of friends, just like they can kill it in small towns.
Honestly, who cares—it really doesn't matter. When someone tells you that loneliness is literally killing them day after day, whether they're an introvert or an extrovert is totally irrelevant. It’s clearly something way deeper and more long-term—maybe even something worth talking to a pro about.
Quote : art with Heart
darksurfer4 said:If you're an introvert, like myself, you truly don't require anything beyond that setup. If you're an extrovert, sure, you probably crave something more substantial. But from what I can gather, she doesn't even seem to have the small circle you're describing?
I mean, that’s totally possible—I was just going off what she wrote, you know? She said there aren't many like that, so I just listed the usual suspects. She didn't really dive into the details, though—she probably should have! Like, saying "hardly anyone actually cares about her" doesn't tell me much... honestly, half this forum could say the exact same thing.
I wasn't sure where to host this thread, but whoever is free to chime in and has an opinion on this topic will find it.
I’m seeing more and more people—barring a few exceptions—becoming incredibly rude to one another. It isn't just about how others act, though; it's about my relationship with them. Or rather, their relationship with me. It feels stupid to talk about myself or brag, but I don't think I'm a bad person. I'm just noticing that kindness isn't valued much these days, and as I get older, I can tell that being a good person has only cost me.
I’ve posted here before during periods where I was feeling really depressed, constantly searching for some deep-seated reason for my sadness. The truth? It's the loneliness. It's literally killing me day by day.
It sounds silly, but over time I've just lost interest in people. I don't have the energy anymore to "get over broken connections" or try to fix pieces of myself that other people shattered. Same goes for dating—I went from searching persistently to nothing at all. I've completely withdrawn.
Anyway, the point of all this is that I have very few people in my life who actually care about me. Everyone else is either using me for something or treating me poorly—and I tend to tolerate it until I finally snap. I'm always the backup plan, or someone is trying to set me up with someone they think I'll like. There are so few people who will actually call just to ask how I am.
And every single day, I just feel lonelier and lonelier. What’s your general take on this? Have we really become a society of wolves? Why do people take me for granted? And if I have to, what do I need to change about myself to make things better? I probably already know what you'd say to all of this, but I'm asking for your thoughts and advice anyway. 😉
But honestly, isn't that just how it works? You've got your mom, maybe a sister if you're lucky, a couple of close friends, a partner... and that's really it. You don't actually *need* more than that, and you shouldn't feel obligated to be super important to everyone outside that core group. Let's face it—human connections are mostly transactional, even with family. Most people drift through life with that exact same small crew—just varying in quality. Those people claiming to have hundreds of ride-or-die besties? They're just living a fantasy on Facebook.
Does it even matter? Honestly, if I just told you to stop complaining, you’d probably spend all night whining that I’m being insensitive—wish it were that easy. Just to put things in perspective, look at those pet threads where people go absolutely ballistic over a dead cat or a goldfish and nobody thinks they're weird for it. Come to think of it, you'd probably rather deal with a literal death because grieving would be way more straightforward. Here, he's gone too, and you're mourning, but you're also feeling "betrayed"—you know, the whole mess where he ghosted you for someone else without even leaving you a settlement or an apartment to live in, but that’s a whole other conversation. That hurts, sure, but your ego is taking a hit here too, and honestly? I highly doubt you actually miss *him*. You just can't let go, and it looks like you're stuck in a loop. Even those six years aren't the real issue—it's the fact that you probably told yourself once that a year of grieving wasn't that long, so why is it a problem for two, three, four, five, or six? At this rate, you'll be hitting the ten-year mark before you know it.
I honestly feel like there wouldn't even be a topic if he just let his hair grow down to his butt—he'd basically look like some dude in a random power metal band. And *that* would actually be a "statement," just with more hair.
btw, I’ve also been totally clueless since middle school, and the first time I shaved, I just wanted to see how it looked. I mean, when else are you gonna do that if not at that age? I’m guessing this is just about a son trying to refresh his style—I really don't think it goes any deeper than that.
I’m not being negative or positive—honestly, I’m just somewhere in the middle. I know exactly what I can handle and what I can't, and everything really just boils down to how you tackle the situation. I’ve gotten used to certain losses—which is basically why some wins don't even hit the same anymore—so you could say my gods are occasional indifference and just not giving a damn. General optimism or pessimism? Doesn't mean anything to me, and I don't see the point. Only a crazy person stays optimistic while everything is going south, especially when there isn't even a way out—not that every situation actually has one, but still. History is full of tragedies that were preceded by nothing but "positive thinking." Pessimism doesn't work either—it can't be your main vibe unless you're stuck in one endless cycle of absolute garbage.
You win some, you lose some—it’s just how it goes. And when you lose something huge, especially in an area where failure isn't even an option? Honestly, it’s totally fine to spiral for a bit. It just shows how much you actually gave a damn about the outcome. It’s not pretty to watch, sure, but it’s real. There’s zero point in forcing that "fake positive" vibe on yourself... if you really want to trick your brain into feeling better, it's way easier to just grab a drink.
I don't get what you mean by "inferior"—like, what's that even supposed to imply?
Laura Castillo6 said:It’s a bit of a catch-22, isn't it? On one hand, you've got the reality that everything eventually ends up sitting in a landfill somewhere, which is definitely not ideal for the environment. But then again, if people stop buying things altogether, those jobs just vanish overnight. I remember my cousin used to work at a local manufacturing plant in Ohio, and when things slowed down there, you could really feel the tension in the whole community. There has to be some kind of middle ground where we find a balance—ideally finding ways to keep consumption steady without absolutely burying the planet in trash.
The thing is, this isn't just "consumption" for the sake of it—it actually creates jobs. But before that happens, you have to realize people have desires beyond just survival, and those little extras are what spice up our lives! That's basically all consumerism needs to thrive and stay perfectly in sync with the masses. If we didn't want those "spices," the economy wouldn't even exist as we know it. It doesn't matter if things like high-end perfume, flowers, designer shoes, jewelry, books, music, movies, cable packages, tech, vacations, or even stuff like fireworks and alcohol aren't strictly "necessary"—what matters is that people *want* them, and they aren't planning on giving them up.
I’m not slowing down—why would I even bother? We should all be able to treat ourselves whenever we want, regardless of Black Friday or Christmas. Honestly, I wouldn't want to live a life where I only grab the bare essentials when I actually have the means to go after what I want. People really need to stop pushing those intense myths about what actually makes a person happy; friendships, relationships, family—that stuff is fleeting, but things? Things are what last.
Look, I’m gonna be blunt and skip all the usual fluff—it is totally possible that some things just aren't meant for you. And it’s for the same reason other people miss out on stuff too. No matter how hard you grind, there are no guarantees unless we're talking about hitting a PR in the gym or something equally straightforward where the rules actually apply. You can give it your absolute all and still end up empty-handed. Most of us are going to miss out on *something* in life. Some of us grew up without parents, some will never have kids, and some will never be loved in the exact way they crave. It’s not even mathematically possible for everyone to get everything. That’s not a failure on anyone's part—it’s just life, and life doesn't owe you anything, nor does it care how much it hurts. This hits especially hard when it comes to dating and relationships. With so many variables—your own criteria, someone else's, your age, look, job, social circle, the city you live in, and just pure random luck and timing—there is no such thing as "smart advice." Especially since you haven't even shared any specifics yet.
Honestly, all that fortune cookie wisdom and those clichés about "working on yourself" usually miss the mark in my experience—they're some of the most useless bits of advice you can give in this situation. Family, close friends, acquaintances, even strangers... I could list a ton of examples—and I know most people here can too—where people match up perfectly fine even though you couldn't tell they were doing any "work" at all. You've got depressed folks who never leave the house, unemployed people, perpetual students, stay-at-home moms with zero career history, plus the overweight, chronically messy, or high-strung types, etc.—I won't go on or I'll sound like I'm bashing "our own." They are who they are, and that's their business. The only catch is that, because of dating dynamics, it's almost always women who can afford to sit on their hands a bit, whereas you can't. Things just don't work that way for a guy like you—otherwise, you wouldn't be in this spot. Something has to shift. Being an introvert, being passive, being withdrawn... all of that is a much heavier weight to carry when you're a man. If you're depressed and your confidence is trashed, it's the same story. There is no worse combo for a guy, period. I’d bet my life you aren't any "worse" than the examples I just gave. That doesn't change your current struggle, but maybe it should change how you see yourself, since you're claiming you have nothing to offer. Like those people are some kind of grand prizes? Give me a break. Your main issue is that your self-esteem is at zero, and that's something you can work on independently of your loneliness.
The point is, you don't need to cross anything off a list, and you don't have to accept this as your permanent reality just yet. Blind hope and total defeatism are both equally shitty extremes, but they aren't your only options. Just let this sit for a bit. In the meantime, find ways to cope however you can—even if that means medication. At least nowadays, that isn't a taboo topic. Generally speaking, just do whatever makes you feel better, and try to remember what used to fulfill you before these thoughts took over. None of this will magically fix your core problem, but it might stop you from spiraling in other areas of your life, which would only make things worse later. I'm not saying this because you're single; I'm saying it because you're 30 and already losing hope that things will improve. Honestly, that specific part sounds like something you should talk through with a professional—not the being single part, but the hopelessness. Some people can handle pessimism, but it sounds like you can't, and hey, you're not the first or the last person this happens to. And honestly, it's a little... I don't know, thinking about who you'll spend your retirement with. I'd bet money that other parts of your life are feeling stalled too now that this has taken over your brain.
Anyway, I'm pretty much in total agreement with the radical take here.
It’s called diffusion of responsibility—but honestly? Sometimes it's just straight-up being a jerk because people decide upfront that the victim isn't "worth" the trouble. I remember reading about this a couple of years back—some guy was just left lying in the street in New York City without a single soul stopping to help. It’s not some freak occurrence or even a cultural thing, it just happens... everywhere.
The phenomenon, called The Bystander Effect or The Genovese syndrome, attempts to explain why someone witnessing a crime would not help the victim.
Psychologists Bibb Latané and John Darley made their careers studying The Bystander Effect and have shown in clinical experiments that witnesses ara less likely to Help if there are other witnesses. The more witnesses, the less likely any one person will intervene.
The Bystander Effect was used by The Press as a parable of a morally bankrupt modern society losing its compassion for others , particularly in cities.
I honestly can’t get hooked on anything because I just don't care for mindless chat or those subforums where the younger crowd hangs out—plus, I avoid that whole "talking just to talk" vibe and the endless emoji spam. I only really follow maybe three or four subforums regularly, and I mostly stick to writing on one or two specific threads while dodging the general chat topics entirely. With that many filters in place, even the mildest addiction is basically impossible.
Look, I don't have a problem with people hitting that 70k post mark. When you see all the ways people kill time nowadays, typing is actually the least of their worries. But there's a huge difference between being active in topical forums—like tech or health stuff—and seeing someone with 60 or 70 thousand posts who spends all day just chatting about absolutely nothing. Someone with a habit like that is almost certainly doomscrolling on Facebook or hopping between other sites too... how else are you supposed to form an opinion on it?
That article above isn't the first one to claim that internet usage causes social issues. Usually, the argument is that social dysfunction stems from addiction, but for a lot of people, it's actually the reverse; they struggle in the real world or deal with health issues, so they look for an escape online. People didn't suddenly become "socially maladjusted" just because high-speed internet became common in the US or because they signed up for a forum or some social media site. While I totally agree that social media acts as a "sort of escape from reality," saying that doesn't really offer any deep insight. People aren't actually stupid enough to miss that, but clearly, they struggle to handle things the way they want in real life, so they settle for whatever outlet is available to them.