I’m picking up where I left off in that previous thread—which, for some reason, got shut down. Should this have been moved over to the psychology subforum? Honestly, I’ve never quite wrapped my head around how the moderation here works, but I’ll try to calmly lay out the rest of what I couldn't say there...
So, here's the deal: I took in a girl who just turned twenty, and we’re living in a tiny apartment together. I am seriously torn right now between whether I should kick her out, move out myself, or just somehow push her away from my life entirely.
She came from a domestic violence shelter, so she’s dealt with some heavy family stuff. Initially, I felt nothing but sympathy for her, but lately, it feels like life is just throwing one shock after another at me. First, her parents thought she’d committed suicide and had the police showing up at my door, then she started bringing guys back to the apartment... now I’m getting the distinct impression she isn't just using these guys, she's using me too, treating me like some sort of surrogate mother. After I started that last thread, an older woman from next door actually knocked on my door and lectured me, saying I need to look out for the kid, that she's basically still a child, that I should help her get a job and whatnot... Look, I *do* all that, but I’m just so frustrated. I come home and there’s some guy sitting on my bed—someone she considers just another "friend"—and they’re practically making out right in front of me, only for someone else to show up the very next day...
I’ve already told her straight up: no guests. But does she listen? Not even a little. To make matters worse, the girl can't even remember my name, which is pretty ridiculous considering it’s a super common American name. Sometimes I genuinely wonder if something is wrong with her, like, is her head actually okay? And this whole thing with the older guys she hangs out with is terrifying; one of them has a real temper and gets aggressive. I’m honestly scared she’s going to end up a victim of more violence or something even worse.
The guilt is eating at me. Part of me knows I need to get out, but then I start questioning if that’s the right thing to do. Should I wait until she gets her first paycheck to see if she’s actually exploiting people or if she’s just broke? But deep down, my gut is screaming at me to just run for the hills. My perfumes are disappearing, my makeup is being used, my food is being eaten... she’s lounging on my bed and using my towels... I really can't take it anymore.
I have this nagging feeling that there might be something deeper going on with her, like all of this can't just be a series of coincidences...
Jonathan Fowler14 said:I’ve joined a few Facebook meetup groups, and I keep running into the exact same pattern: a huge crowd of people all chime in saying they want to hang out, but the second someone actually suggests a plan, everyone goes silent. Honestly, I just don't get the logic behind it.
It doesn't matter if the groups are local or international. Most of us have just moved here, we're looking for friends, maybe still learning the ropes, and we're all essentially in the same boat. It seems like a great way to meet like-minded people—connecting online over shared interests, grabbing coffee, getting to know one another. I’ve had some success and met plenty of cool people, but things always seem to fizzle out because of busy schedules, people moving away, just not clicking, or people being super flaky and canceling last minute. 😁
I really miss having a consistent little crew to hang out with occasionally, but it feels like mission impossible lately. I’m not necessarily looking for my soulmate or a BFF, just a few reliable girls where we can make plans and actually catch up every couple of weeks.
So, in a group of 60 or 70 people, absolutely nobody is available ON THE WEEKEND to go for a walk, grab coffee, ride bikes, play sports, or hit up an event.
All 70 of those people are members of a meetup group, they scroll through the posts, read the comments, and specifically hunt down the link to join the WhatsApp group—so why? The reason clearly isn't to actually socialize, because in the last group I was in, there was only one attempt to meet up in three weeks, and almost everyone canceled at the very last second. I personally suggested hanging out three different times; I got a few promises and then just "we'll see," and that was it. This has happened with three different groups now.
I’m genuinely stumped. What is the point of joining these meetup groups if you have no intention of actually socializing? Is it just to have another useless group on WhatsApp? To get notifications and invites you don't care about? Do these people have some weird fetish? Do they just want to feel like they belong to a community without actually participating in it? 🙏
I totally get that people have jobs, families, and responsibilities. I have a ton of obligations myself; I'm on my feet from dawn till dusk and work weekends, but I always manage to find time to see people. My schedule is usually set almost two weeks in advance, and I don't deal with nonsense like sudden shifts "because a coworker is sick" or "I have to be home for a package delivery."
I truly believe friendships are vital, especially for our mental health. It makes me sad to see so many people put social connection at the bottom of their priority list, brushing off chances to meet new people and failing to respect other people's time.
When I hear responses like "I'll see, maybe," or "I don't know, I don't really feel like it," it feels incredibly unserious, and honestly, it's a turn-off.
Please enlighten me! If you have any suggestions, I'm all ears. I stay active, I have hobbies, and I'm constantly reaching out to people... but I've been pretty unlucky because every time I finally connect with someone, they end up moving away. 🤣
That’s exactly what it looks like. Honestly, this phenomenon isn't even that rare; if anything, it's absolutely rampant across almost every corner of social media today. If you actually want to improve your social life, you need to stop looking at a screen and find a physical space to gather—somewhere that doesn't rely on an online presence to exist. Join a local club, sign up for a hiking group, get involved in a pub trivia league, or find a community center. You have to show up in person.
Austin Baker4 said:I am curious if anyone else here struggles with self-sabotage in their romantic relationships—and more importantly, whether you’ve actually managed to overcome it. Is it even possible? Does one simply need to find a partner with enough infinite patience to weather the storms we create, or is that just setting them up for disaster? Or is professional help an absolute necessity?
I’m opening this discussion for purely personal reasons; I’ve begun to realize that I am actively sabotaging my own life. Every time things start heading in a positive direction, I find some convoluted way to wreck it. Then, predictably, I sit there complaining that nobody wants to be with me. 😁
I have a decent grasp on where these patterns originate, but what I lack is the roadmap for recovery. How does one actually heal from this kind of behavior? Has anyone here dealt with this personally? Any insight would be appreciated.
That sounds exactly like me! 👋
I’ve had this self-destructive streak for as long as I can remember, and it hasn't just been limited to my love life; it has bled into almost every area of my existence. Regarding relationships, I sabotaged everything. I would be incredibly cold and emotionally distant, and the more solid the relationship became—the more the other person wanted to commit—the harder I pushed them away. It doesn't take a genius to connect the dots and realize that something is fundamentally broken within yourself. For me, this was an intense struggle until I hit my early twenties, at which point I decided to flip the script. My attempt at changing wasn't perfect, but I did start to evolve in my relationships. That shift happened once I finally confronted the problem head-on and developed a genuine desire to change my trajectory. It wasn't an easy process; there were plenty of setbacks and moments where I fell right back into old habits. Honestly, if I had started intensive psychotherapy sooner—the kind of high-quality therapy I’m in now—things would have stabilized much earlier in my life. How do you fix it? Psychotherapy is going to be your best bet.
Is finding the "right" person important? Absolutely. But let’s be clear: no one is obligated to spend their entire life acting as a punching bag for your instability (unless they themselves have deep-seated issues that make them crave a martyr role). A healthy individual will set firm boundaries against that kind of behavior.
The title pretty much sums up my frustration, and frankly, it’s a massive headache. Even though the interface tells me everything is fine and displays "message sent" after I hit send, the reality is a complete disaster. My "Sent" folder remains empty, and more importantly, the people I’m trying to reach aren't receiving anything at all. It’s like my emails are just vanishing into thin air.
I haven't touched a single setting; I haven't changed a thing. I have been using gmail for at least 15 years—if not longer—and I have never encountered such an absurd issue in all that time. I’m running Windows 10, and there haven't been any changes there either. The last successful email I managed to send was on September 27th, and since then, nothing. It’s not just the desktop, either; I can't get anything out via my phone.
I've spent hours digging through help forums and support documentation, but absolutely nothing I find provides a solution to this mess.
Has anyone else here dealt with this kind of technical failure, or does anyone have a clue what might be causing this breakdown?
darksurfer4 said:The kind of job that absolutely drains you—the one where you’re constantly worried you might actually lose your mind—isn't necessarily a bad gig; in fact, it might actually be an incredible one🤔
Excellent for what exactly? For ending up in a psychiatric ward?
darksurfer4 said:She mentioned it so casually in passing that I honestly can't tell if we're even talking about a miscarriage here. If you're looking strictly at the test results, you can't definitively swear that's what happened.🤔 Though, let's be honest, there really isn't any other explanation for it.
No, it wasn't her—it was the author of that other thread from the second PDF. 😵😁
Alright, let's get serious for a moment. goddesoflove, you've already answered every single question you've asked. Why on earth do you care what the people on this forum think if you're already telling us you have to protect yourself? Taking that step is the healthiest thing you can possibly do to distance yourself from such a toxic, dysfunctional relationship.
But you keep bringing up how much he regrets the miscarriage. What about yours? Have you actually processed your own loss? It was taken from *your* body, not his. Don't get me wrong, I am not trying to diminish anyone's pain here, but you are the one who endured both the physical and psychological "severing." How are you holding up?
How on earth do you people manage to live lives where everyone else feels entitled to barge into your private space and rummage through your most intimate affairs? What are your nerves made of? What kind of patience and tolerance are we talking about here? Is it pure steel? Now, I consider myself a very tolerant person. But do you honestly think I could stomach this level of intrusion into my privacy even once? If this were happening in my marriage, my husband and I would have an immediate, blunt conversation to fix things—either by shifting the family dynamic or addressing our own relationship. There wouldn't be any question about it, because what’s being described here is nothing short of pathological. As for anyone trying to peek at my underwear? That would be their first and absolute last time. Seriously, hellooo? If they have some deep-seated compulsion to dig through other people's intimacy, they should go see a doctor and handle that issue somewhere else. Boundaries, people! Boundaries. You set them clearly: "This far and no further," and that is the end of the discussion. Period. So, someone is unhappy because you don't iron their clothes? Or maybe because you actually have to bathe and care for your son? Give me a break. Please, go get some professional help; there are plenty of psychiatrists out there who take insurance.
However, the lack of intimacy with her husband that the author mentioned is a whole different beast. In that situation, there aren't many options besides laying all the cards on the table. It doesn't have to be an attack or a defensive fight; it should just be a presentation of facts. "Look, when you act like this, I feel like this. I don't want this kind of life. What do you think we should do to change it? You don't have an opinion? Fine. When you decide you want to start thinking about it, let me know. Until then, I'm doing my own thing."
loneskipper10 said:If you've got the brains for it, an IT career is a solid move—freelancing lets you dodge most of those draining social interactions. You can just code, and if you're struggling to focus, finding the right antipsychotics can help organize your thoughts and dial down the anxiety, assuming you don't run into too many side effects. There are also options for ADHD.
The catch with antipsychotics is the risk of tardive dyskinesia after long-term use; we're talking uncontrollable limb movements that make it impossible to stand steady. Sometimes it stops when you quit the meds, but sometimes it's a lifelong struggle. Here’s a patient dealing with tardive dyskinesia: https://www.primehealthchannel.com/w...skinesia-2.jpg US pharmaceutical companies developed a specific drug for tardive dyskinesia, but it’ll set you back $7,362 for a 28-capsule supply at 40-80mg. While the brain volume loss caused by antipsychotics is relatively easy to address, the movement issues mentioned above? Not so much.
Lately, students have been leaning heavily on Modafinil to study, though it can definitely wreck your sleep schedule.
Honestly, the best move is to just shove a handful of pills down her throat immediately. Oh, what was that? Brain volume is shrinking? No big deal, we'll just fix that in a heartbeat with another pill! Boom—there goes $7,362 in a single shot. And Modafinil? Sure, why not? It's basically like eating Tic Tacs. Hellooo??? 😵
Suicidal ideation, the urge to self-harm, social anxiety, and needing a steady dose of sedatives just to function—all while trying to navigate nursing school and clinical rotations on an inpatient ward?
To me, that sounds like a total nightmare, so I can only imagine how much you're struggling right now. Was this really the career path you set out to pursue?
Look, I’m still pretty new to this whole scene, but from what I can tell, this place is actually great because people can clash and disagree without everything turning into a total disaster; there's a real benefit in having different perspectives colliding like this.
Besides, I'm a huge believer in free speech—expressing whatever views or needs you have, as long as you aren't actively stepping on anyone else's toes.
And honestly, if I do end up losing a piece of myself somewhere along the line, I'll either find it again or maybe I'll just build something better in its place. And yeah, totally agree on the formalities—there's no need for all that polite nonsense here.
Not me—quite the opposite, actually. If I had my way, I’d demand an IQ test and a full competency exam before anyone gets granted the privilege of "free speech." We are currently drowning in a world overflowing with idiots and their mindless nonsense, cluttering up every single corner of our lives. They are nothing more than societal pests. Honestly, I’d strip them of their right to vote too. That’s my take on freedom. ☕
As for the other stuff you mentioned in your opening post, life has thrown its fair share of curveballs at me (I've basically been getting pelted by meteors on more than one occasion), but I simply don't have the luxury of being "unproductive." I'll rest when I'm dead.
stormypilot18 said:I am not entirely sure if a thread like this already exists; if it does, please feel free to move my post accordingly.
I am curious to know how you all handle working with people you simply cannot stand—or who, perhaps, cannot stand you.
By sheer coincidence, I have been assigned to a project alongside someone who is my complete polar opposite, and the tension and animosity between us are palpable. Without getting bogged into too many specifics, the core issue lies in her communication style. She is quite frankly blunt to the point of being outright rude, which I find incredibly difficult to stomach. Between her pushy nature, her impulsivity, her lack of courtesy, and that constant "know-it-all" attitude, I am feeling quite lost. No matter how hard I try to ensure everyone on the team is heard so we can reach a consensus, she just bulldozes over everyone to get her way.
It has reached a point where just seeing a notification from her—since most of our interaction happens online—leaves me feeling completely overwhelmed. And once we meet in person, my energy levels absolutely plummet, making it impossible to focus on the tasks I had planned to accomplish.
Have any of you dealt with something similar? What strategies helped you navigate these situations?
🙂
Fortunately, most of my experiences have been positive, but since there's pretty high turnover at my office, I run into all sorts of personalities. That includes the irritating ones. However, it always turns out that I’m not the only one who finds them annoying, so it’s much easier to manage someone like that when you have a group of colleagues who feel the same way. My strategy is usually just to ignore them; I keep a facial expression that basically screams, "I couldn't care less." That vibe eventually reaches them, and they tend to keep their distance. Their attempts to rattle me almost never work. It doesn't drain my energy quite as much as it leaves a bitter taste in my mouth. But hey, it's all part of the job, so I don't let it get to me too much. Once that person moves on, someone else just like them will inevitably show up...
Author, you really ought to distinguish between an actual mental health disorder and just someone talking nonsense.
Besides, the guy made it pretty clear enough that all this chatter is completely useless. If he actually knew what he was doing or how to fix things, you wouldn't be sitting there with a dozen question marks hovering over your head. But you are.
So, if you’re so intent on playing amateur researcher—diving into these psychological archaeology projects and desperately trying to step in as the savior of some wounded soul—then by all means, go right ahead. Personally, I wouldn't waste a single second dealing with someone like that. My time and my life are worth far too much for that kind of nonsense.
Weak handshakes—it’s such a limp, lifeless way to greet someone. Like someone once said, it feels like you're just touching a wet squid. I'm not asking you to rip my arm off, but I'd much prefer a little bit of "blood" and actual life behind the contact.
silverscout16 said:Gross. You probably need to be on some heavy narcotics just to stomach this stuff. We really ought to implement some kind of media censorship to ban this sort of "material." It feels less like art and more like Satanic propaganda to me. Honestly, we should look at how Iran handles things and set up a commission to filter this content. Why does the world constantly push garbage and bad news to the forefront while keeping anything decent buried in the background? It ruins the youth and encourages nothing but trouble.
Then why don't they start by filtering out all those trashy pop tracks? There’s far more actual "Satanism" polluting our culture in those songs than in this junk. Besides, let's be real: people listen to that trash while they're snorting lines off their tables anyway. That’s the only logical explanation for how someone could even tolerate it—unless, of course, they’ve suffered significant brain damage or simply lack a functioning brain altogether.
ironrider11 said:What kind of 'vibe', or association, does this give you?
Those experimental sounds? I honestly think they’d be incredibly useful for stuff like movie soundtracks, performance art, and things of that nature. 👍
The one instrument that actually helps me relax is the piano. The one instrument that absolutely drives me up the wall is the violin.
Classes for all students from first through eighth grade will be organized into four blocks: the first runs from September 3rd to October 26th (39 school days), the second from November 5th to December 21st (35 days), the third from January 14th to March 21st (49 days), and the fourth from March 25th to June 14th (52 school days).
Quincy:
They’re introducing a new block scheduling system for subjects. For example, fifth graders in the first and third terms will take geography, art, music, and computer science, but they won't have science, shop class, or history until the second and fourth terms. This approach actually lightens their workload by three or four subjects depending on the week.
This looks Promising, and I truly hope—unlike those previous failed attempts at overhaul—that this actually bears fruit. Specifically, I’m hoping it hits the mark in making school feel less like an exhausting, soul-crushing grind and more like something students actually want to engage with by making the curriculum genuinely interesting. Furthermore, I sincerely hope these current "technical glitches" are just short-lived hiccups and don't end up leaving us with a bitter taste in our mouths during the rollout.
Honestly, all I ever see are ads for men's underwear... I'm not even complaining right now; if anything, they actually make my day feel a little brighter and more upbeat 😳
Dana Roberts said:Greetings, everyone. I’ve been an avid reader of this forum for quite some time now, but today I felt compelled to step out of the shadows and initiate what I hope will be a truly constructive dialogue on a specific subject. I am curious to know if there is a formal psychological term for a particular phenomenon: when an individual says one thing, yet their actions tell a completely different story. Specifically, I'm thinking of those who verbally condemn a certain behavior while simultaneously engaging in it themselves. Some people might dismiss this by saying, "Well, that's just how everyone operates these days," but I find that answer rather unsatisfying. In your estimation, does this fall under the umbrella of pathological lying, or is it perhaps something else entirely—maybe a complex blend of various psychological drivers?
It’s called hypocrisy. Look up the definition of a hypocrite. And honestly, based on everything I see nowadays, that seems to be the absolute baseline requirement for getting into politics.
Throughout our lives, we are constantly surrounded by "mirrors"—the continuous stream of feedback from the people in our orbit. If you actually have the willpower to sit down, analyze the data, and really question your own behavior, it’s entirely possible to spot those toxic patterns and start recalibrating your "internal settings." Is it simple? Absolutely not. I wouldn't dream of calling it that. Is it doable? Yes, but don't expect a miracle overnight; it takes serious time and dedication. If you're looking to overhaul your life, my advice is to stop trying to fix everything at once and start by setting much more manageable, incremental goals.