Look, I don't see you or anyone else actually hitting the report button 🤷 so why the fuss? Besides, weren't almost all threads similar to this one back in the day—you know, the usual pile-ons, random chats, or workplace drama? So, I say what I say, and I feel pretty justified in saying that things on RID just aren't what they used to be. If a handful of posts make you think nothing has changed, well, I guess that’s just your perception, not necessarily the view held by most others.
It seems like nothing is ever quite right. Like, when there was that massive cleanup over the summer because everything was such a mess—people complained that the bans were rolled out way too fast. Now, we have this tendency to try and de-escalate things with warnings instead of handing out bans left and right, and suddenly *that* isn't good enough either.
At the end of the day, the topic at hand is the reorganization of RID—not just one single thread on this entire forum.
brightpuma, I've already mentioned this to you, but I'll say it one more time: whatever happened back at RID is ancient history now! okay? you should come see for yourself.
and honestly, I don't really get why you're digging up the past—it feels like you're just pulling old skeletons out of the closet to make a point—but what exactly are you trying to say? We've already laid out our direction for change and shared our vision, yet you still seem stuck on how things used to be 🤷
I have absolutely no intention of revisiting what happened before. I’ll just say that leading up to the summer, RID was total chaos—every single thread was a battlefield, and people were constantly at each other's throats 🙄. All those issues are being cut off at the root now, and honestly, I’ve kept the number of bans down to a handful of fingers over these last few months while moderating.
brightpuma, you know, I actually got hit with this comment that I'm basically an activist—apparently because I find certain groups militant about trivial nonsense, yet I don't push hard enough on the things that actually matter. But that's beside the point. I have no clue which specific thread gave you that impression, but I can assure you our current moderation team is heading everywhere except toward that ideology. ☕
Okay, we all pretty much agree on one thing: RID used to be a toxic place, things are improving, and they're going to get even better. It's just that we can't fix everything overnight 🙂 so please, let's have a little understanding.
To put it bluntly, RID is a mess right now. About 99% of the discussions here revolve around infants, baby gear, and endless questions regarding feeding or handling babies and toddlers. Serious topics—discussions on parenting styles or issues involving teenagers—tend to sink almost immediately; they just get lost or left without answers. Ideally, RID should be a subforum catering to all age groups and various developmental stages, but it isn't. It basically turned into a Playroom long before we even launched that PDF. And honestly, that’s driving people away. Which is a shame. We live in an era where parenting is incredibly complex and fraught with challenges. We definitely need a space where we can meaningfully discuss these things. RID wasn't providing that. As rustydrifter10 already mentioned, the Playroom is just the first step toward dismantling and reorganizing the entire RID structure. Once we wrap this up, everything should make much more sense. It'll be organized, and it will be crystal clear where every topic belongs. But folks, this won't happen overnight. RID is massive! So, I'd ask you to please bear with us.
Even though the rules state where we announced these changes prior to the split, I'll reiterate them here just to help you navigate when searching for or starting a new thread: The main RID root is for parenting discussions, general topics, "heavy" subjects, and threads meant to spark deep debate. The Playroom is for questions about nutrition, gear, clothing, or those list-style threads—the "lighter" stuff, if you catch my drift. (The working title for the Playroom was actually RID Light 😁)
Austin Baker86 said:I think this forum would actually be a decent place to hang out if people would just stop having these absolute meltdowns over punctuation. 🤦
I wouldn't donate a single cent. Why? Because I've spent years volunteering my time to moderate several subforums, putting in an immense amount of effort. Not once was there even a whisper of a tip, though I never expected one in the first place. I’m sure there’s a reason for it. And no, I don't just block every damn ad just for the hell of it. 😁They just waste resources on things that don't even need fixing.
That’s why I mentioned it was a charity drive—people can give if they want to, and whatever amount they choose. Seems fair to me, I guess. I’d probably chip in. Since I’m a moderator now, the inability to actually moderate is driving me crazy—every time there's a surge in activity, the forum just crashes. 🙄
What else can I do? I'm still pretty young and eager to help, though I haven't quite reached that level of evolution where I can just bundle everything together into three neat little 🤷 Well, if nothing gets done about the servers, I know for sure I'll be wanting to ☕
Wait, what do you mean by paying moderators? 🤣 I haven’t been paid to moderate on any site I’ve ever worked on—past or present. 🤣
And honestly—and I mean truly—I have zero interest in being paid if it means turning this into a "pay a subscription fee just so you can browse without getting hit by 50x errors" kind of situation.
There are plenty of other sites out there that are free and actually have servers that don't crash every few minutes. The only reason I'm still here is habit, I guess, and a few connections. If you implement a subscription based on my rather grim scenario above, I’d hand in my moderation duties, log out, and disappear into the night immediately. 🤣
Again, a subscription is an interesting idea—it's okay, I suppose. There could be various benefits. But, making people pay just so they aren't attacked by constant errors would be a very bad move; it would drive away members, both current ones and future users.
I’m writing this assuming that subscribers would get to browse in peace while the poor non-subscribers continue to be bombarded with errors. I really have no clue if that's even technically feasible 🤣 though I suspect it isn't 🤣 and that the only real fix is a brand new server. Only then would the site run smoothly for everyone, regardless of whether they pay or not.
Michelle Alvarez8 said:Afkors, I think we're just seeing things differently—you seem to view this subscription as an absolute necessity, whereas I’ve always pitched it as more of a "nice-to-have" extra.
not really 🤣 but, honestly, if a subscription were the only way to actually use this site without hitting constant 50x errors, then I guess it basically becomes "mandatory." 🤷
It feels like we're just talking past each other 🤣 No, honestly, the idea regarding ads is perfectly fine—that suggestion works for me.
My point was more about how pathetic it is that, in this day and age, we'd have to pay a subscription fee just to get decent loading speeds on Reddit or to avoid seeing 503 and 504 errors five hundred times a day. That’s what's sad. And if that's how it goes, the site is basically going to lose any chance of attracting new members.
Look, I'm saying the proposal for subscriptions and perks is totally fine, but I don't think it's right to use that as a way to fix server issues. It doesn't actually solve anything; non-subscribers will still be stuck with a broken experience. Or else subscribers end up footing the bill for a new server that everyone uses, which doesn't seem fair either. If we follow the principle of "give whatever you want and however much you want," then nobody should feel like they're being treated unfairly.😁
I might be rambling here, but my kid is screaming in my ear, so I don't really have the bandwidth to go back and check exactly what nonsense I just typed out.😁
Nicholas King said:Implementing a subscriber model would essentially mean the platform carries a heavy obligation to ensure those users get more than just an ad-free experience—we’re talking about guaranteed, high-speed performance too.
It really isn't just about whether the management has the good intentions to do it—it’s a matter of performing a proper cost-benefit analysis regarding the investment required to actually guarantee that kind of service. I mean, what happens if the total subscription revenue doesn't end up covering the massive overhead needed for the necessary hardware upgrades?
BTW, there's already a pretty significant number of people browsing the site without ads 😬, but that's certainly not the only reason things are moving at a snail's pace.
I'm not saying your suggestion is bad, it's just... well, maybe a little unpopular. Personally, I've never come across a site that charges a subscription fee just for, honestly, basic site functionality (like normal speeds and accessibility, you know, without all the lag and stuff). That seems, well, a bit pathetic 🤷 Your idea is fine, provided it includes other benefits—like, I don't know, a larger avatar, a bigger inbox, or other little perks that can be handled through the vBulletin admin panel for specific user groups, which people tend to enjoy 😁 . But using subscriptions to fund a server that would, among other things, allow everyone—not just subscribers—to use the site normally? That's probably not okay. A charity drive would be a much better way to go, IMHO. 😁
People perform circumcisions on children for various health reasons, not just religious ones. So, regarding this topic of pediatric health—which you linked right away—I think it's more than enough to cover.
But look, there really isn't much to debate here. The whole thread would just consist of maybe two or three posts saying they went to the hospital for the procedure because of their religion and tradition. There aren't any godparents, fancy gifts, restaurants, or tipping involved 🤷
So, what exactly would people even be writing about in a thread like that?
Look, in the USA, circumcision isn't some religious rite performed by a priest, rabbi, imam, or even some village shaman—followed by everyone heading out to a restaurant for a celebratory feast. It’s a medical procedure carried out in a hospital. So, I guess this topic belongs in its proper place.
If we moved this to the Religion subforum, a thread about religious circumcision would just result in: a) people bickering, arguing, and trolling b) maybe a few comments from moms who chose the procedure for religious reasons c) posts discussing the medical reasons behind someone opting for the surgery.
We absolutely don't need that first part here. As for the second point, the Religion subforum is much more appropriate for you—you'll likely get the answers you're looking for there, probably faster and with better quality. And regarding the third point, there is already an existing thread for that.
Alex Thomas27, you actually posted a link in that private thread regarding male infant circumcision—the one where people are actively debating the procedure itself. If you feel like it, maybe you could ask the moms there why they choose that path for religious reasons (I'm sure there are some).
There really isn't any need to have two separate threads for this.
I’m totally over the whole spelling and vowel shifts thing—though I have to admit, even as someone who practically inhaled books back in my early years and still keeps a style guide religiously on my bookshelf, hearing certain mispronunciations gives me the chills. People used to call me a total grammar Nazi, which I guess is true, because I have some seriously intense issues with specific phonetic inconsistencies. It’s less of an issue with consonants, mostly because I never bother using them when typing online—an old habit from my younger days spent on messaging services that didn't even support those characters properly.
Honestly, I think it’s just one of those messy quirks of our complicated language, and a huge number of people struggle to spell certain words correctly. It isn’t necessarily about how much schooling they had; the language itself is just difficult.
Anyway, that’s not what we’re here for. And neither are those stories about unruly minors.
The actual topic is the relationship between parents and the school system, and between children and the school. Let’s please get back to that.
I suggested one potential way that we, as parents, might actually exert some meaningful influence over the educational institutions. Starting an association.
Nobody has really challenged me on that—well, except for Peter Doyle2 in some very old posts at the very beginning of this thread. Why is that?
Stress!! That’s the word. The American education system is just... stressful. Maybe I was just high-strung—I used to shake and practically drop my phone every time I had to check my grades online, regardless of whether I actually knew the material or was totally unprepared. Math was always my weak spot, and honestly, those math tests gave me anxiety attacks more than once. I remember one time specifically where I was shaking so hard and sweating so much that my hand cramped up—I couldn't even hold a pencil. And the worst part? I actually knew how to solve the problems. What makes it so sad is that my teacher saw it too!!!! She saw me in that state. And she didn't even react.
Anyway. I finished school ages ago, so I moved on with my life and ran as far away from math as possible. But, strangely enough, I still have this recurring dream: the school year is winding down, I don't have a single math grade, I don't have a notebook, I have no clue what we're even studying, and I start panicking about how I'm ever going to pass this miserable class. 😲 🤣
Our educational system and the way they grade knowledge is just wonderful. Truly. 🙄
Emily Gonzalez51 said:ADHD is a legitimate diagnosis, just like any kidney issue, and an hyperactive student needs a way to decompress. Schools ought to be structured to accommodate this by providing supervised outlets within the building; frankly, I believe schools in Europe have already mastered how to handle this.
Bravo, Europe. They really messed up by grouping us Americans in with them there. 🤣
So, it’s a perfect example, I guess. A friend of mine, who works at an elementary school, told me about a kid with what she calls "so many diagnoses"—her words, not mine—who barely managed to get an aide assigned to him. Anyway, that child actually *does* have the option to step out of class with an aide! So, it’s doable; it isn't impossible. It’s honestly pretty sad and ugly that the parents had to go through hell just to get their child an aide, having to knock on every single door themselves. This is where I see a massive need for an advocacy group—to help families like this. Why should they waste precious time they desperately need for their child, begging for a right they should absolutely already have? It’s just pathetic...
And then we hit the universal mess in our schools... how they aren't really educational institutions anymore, just places for rote learning. 🙄 Everyone finds it so incredibly difficult when there's a kid like that in the school. Because they disrupt the other kids. Because they interrupt the process of pouring dry facts into those little brains. Because the other kids don't understand why they have to sit still while this one can walk around. And just to top it all off, teachers can't explain why things are the way they are except during recess, because there's simply no time left during the actual lesson. They just can't get to it. 🙄
The experts love to talk big about integrating children with disabilities into regular preschools and school programs, but when it comes down to actually making it happen—well, just like everything else—it’s a total joke. (I personally saw this happen back in preschool, when the local municipality forced a daycare to take a child with severe developmental delays into the standard program, but then refused to provide an aide or a third teacher. So the parents were out begging, then the principal was constantly pleading, and so on... eventually they approved a third teacher one year, then pulled it the next. Honestly, no. ☕)
Look, folks, we can keep this finger-pointing going until the end of time—arguing over who’s actually at fault. Is it an incompetent teacher? Or maybe just a kid with no discipline? Are the parents basically just negligent? It goes on and on like that...
It’s all pretty pointless... when the entire system is broken. And I mean the whole thing. Just like the country itself.☕
Basically, incompetent teachers should be under some kind of oversight. Something that isn't happening, or rather, isn't working properly (as Charles Murphy6 described to you). A kid acting out should be handled by psychologists, or even social services, which—once again—don't function the way they ought to. The same goes for the parents.
So, several women who work in various schools and positions have stepped up to explain how things *should* run versus how they actually fail. But I get the feeling we're just spinning our wheels here. It feels like, well, people expect teachers and professors to directly fix everything that everyone else is failing to address.
School is an educational institution. On paper, anyway. Is it still not clear to everyone that school is primarily meant for education? I mean, I totally get why it's like this; with the sheer volume of material being pushed through—which just gets heavier every single year—I honestly don't see when teachers would even have the time to focus on actual character building.
I don't know what it's like now, but back when I was in school, there were countless times where instead of a homeroom or advisory period, we'd just grind through more curriculum☕ because we wouldn't have finished otherwise. So, yeah, that one single hour that's supposed to be about guidance just disappears.
And what can we actually do? We can argue until Judgment Day, bickering over who's a better educator or who's more qualified, or engage in this totally infantile back-and-forth... which I guess is what you guys are doing. Some of these posts are honestly painful to read! And what does that solve? Absolutely nothing.
I said it perfectly. Starting an association would be a good beginning. Because as individuals, there isn't much we can achieve. On our own, our impact is minimal. As individuals, we aren't going to fight to, say, reduce the number of textbooks used.
But yeah, for something like that, you have to step up. A lot of work. It's not impossible, though. Look at the example of Quincy and the Kindergarten for All association; it started out of pure desperation and helplessness, and now it operates as a solid organization! It's just probably easier to complain and fight on a forum. Typical American behavior.😬
I don't have the time, or perhaps the expertise, for something like that. But I am willing to help however I can. As a parent whose child will be entering an education system that I'm not satisfied with one bit. Just like the vast majority of you here.
I’ve been relentlessly scanning my computer for days now. I ran AVG, switched over to Norton yesterday, and just added Microsoft Exchange today. Not a single scan has turned up anything.
I even looked up a few online scanners that check websites, and they all flagged Reddit as safe. 🤷 I guess I don't really get why some people are still getting hit with Trojans while others seem totally fine.
I tried testing it both with my adblocker enabled and disabled—just to be sure. 🤷
It seems like everything in America always boils down to the same thing—constant complaining and being dissatisfied with every little detail... But when it actually comes time to get specific or take action, most people just back away. That’s just how it is. When it comes to the school system, we've seen this pattern play out countless times. Before and after a PTA meeting, every parent will nod along and pretend to agree with our views, but the moment someone needs to speak up clearly and firmly during the actual meeting, everyone suddenly finds something else to nitpick, like cracks in the wall.☕
That's why I think forming some kind of association would be a great idea... if nothing else, it might force people to take us more seriously. Posting on forums and blogs doesn't really move the needle for anyone.
Kohortas, I don't mean to discourage you—your blog is already a step in the right direction—but it’s far from enough. And you should probably consider what Peter Doyle2 mentioned; she really does know her stuff. I'll send you a DM tomorrow to discuss further.🙂 Heading to bed now.