Posts by Kevin Bailey2

I felt the exact same way after every ultrasound—just totally frazzled and overwhelmed...

But honestly, we can't really skip them...

I guess he just needs that visual connection, you know? Like he can't quite wrap his head around the fact that there's actually a baby in there without seeing it on the screen.😂

Steven Gonzalez9 said:It drives me crazy how my partner just doesn't seem to register that I’m actually pregnant most of the time. He expects me to handle everything—doing the dishes, running to the bakery, heading to campus, working—but the second his friends call him to head out to a local brewery or a game, he won't even ask if I want to come. He just tells them "no" on my behalf because I'm feeling too unwell.
He barely touches my stomach for two seconds, like he’s just checking a box because he "has to." I honestly thought he’d be more interested now that there's a baby on the way and he could actually see the movement.

There’s plenty of other stuff that bugs me (especially as a future daughter-in-law), but I'll save that for another time. 🙂

Ugh... I feel the same way sometimes. My husband and I don't experience this pregnancy as closely as I’d really like.

Some guys are just built that way. They struggle to realize there’s another person involved in the equation.

I remember during my first couple of pregnancies, it was cool when the little one would kick hard... eventually, even that became old news to him.

That's just life, I guess.

And as for mothers-in-law... there’s an entire thread dedicated to marriage and partners if you want to jump in there. I'll be lurking there too. We could talk about that topic for hours. 😂

Lisa Rivera said:Listen, we were both just students with zero income when we had our child, and we refuse to let anyone else meddle in what belongs solely to us: our life, our choices, our marriage, and our child. It doesn't belong to them... and that applies to Tia, too.

If the parents want to provide financial support, fine—let them help. But if they don't, they'll have to figure it out themselves. Trying to buy someone's life and strip them of their rights is simply atrocious, and I would never allow it...🤷
What comes next? Is the child just going to be snatched away by the grandparents because they don't like how she's being raised?
That's just not how it works...👎

If we had actually submitted to our parents like you suggest is "normal," our little one wouldn't even be here today.

And if we had given in a second time, my partner would have ended up being a "weekend dad"—busy at some university in Chicago all week, if he even made it home at all...he might have managed two days with us on the weekend, maybe.

If we had submitted a third time, we probably would have been married by now! (Which isn't necessarily a bad thing, mind you, but I am intentionally avoiding it just so people stop hovering over me like I'm some sort of obligation)...

Do you see where all this is heading...?

Exactly, BlackLotus.
I was literally about to write that even though you live with your parents, you still have the right to choose for yourself.

And I doubt anyone is actually going to kick Tia and her boyfriend out onto the street if they show some teeth and fight for themselves.

Trust me, I know manipulators like her parents all too well...
I've got a mother-in-law, hello?☕

And you know what the best part is... 😂
My in-laws still think I'm this poor, innocent victim of their wicked son. They act like he's the one who decided the baby's name is Adam and that I'm not allowed to disagree. Now they want to "save" me... they might even claim he hits me.

Honestly, I've shown them my teeth probably 666 times by now, but they won't quit. They won't stop nagging me about every little thing, God help me.
It's like they think they're the center of the universe.
That's how they act. Like they have the right to make every single decision.

The other day I tell my husband: "Hey, I read online that Target has those baby onesies on sale, drive me there so I can check them out."
And oh boy... my mother-in-law jumped in immediately: "Oh, great... let's go!"
I just looked at her... 😂 "...no... you guys need to rest. I'll go."

Buying stupid onesies and baby gear felt exactly like buying my husband a suit for the wedding. Even if it was his money... whatever... it was on her card and she wouldn't hand it over to him directly.
What a nightmare. The three of us went to buy his suit... and she kept trying to push this tacky, cheap-looking suit on him that even he didn't like. I told her: "Look... just let him pick the suit. It's his wedding."
But you know her... please... "I don't care if it's his wedding. I'm his mother."
Ugh... ridiculous.
So I lost it and said:
"Yeah. You're his mother. But that suit is hideous. A 60-year-old wouldn't wear that, let alone a 24-year-old guy."
But whatever... in the end, we bought the suit I wanted anyway... 😂Honestly, which one looked best on my husband? Black was the winner—sleek, classy, modern.

The last thing I want is to go shopping for baby gear with her. Even if she offers to foot the bill, there's zero chance. I refuse to let a few bucks turn me into someone's puppet.
I'd much rather deal with a bank loan and their interest rates than take a single cent from her just to endure the constant manipulation.

I seriously can't stand people like that. They act like they’re "doing you a favor" when really, they're just looking for leverage to mess with your head.
Look, either help me out or don't. Don't give me that "well, if I'm buying the crib, it's going to be exactly what *I* want" routine.
It didn't occur to me to invite her along when we were picking out linoleum for the kitchen, so why on earth would I ask her to join us for the crib, stroller, and dresser?

And speaking of things that get under my skin...
My phone is ringing right now.
It's my father-in-law. Not answering. 😍

feralpanther11 said:Everything you’re saying holds water—the job, the summer plans, the money, all of it—but none of that changes the fundamental reality. It doesn't stop someone from getting under their skin, constantly pushing them to act exactly how their parents want, right when they want it, and however they want it. At the end of the day, the power dynamic is skewed because the money is in the parents' hands—it's their capital driving the bus—and they're still living under the same roof... it's an exhausting cycle.

Fine. So what? They're stuck where they are.
But personally, I think some parents have zero business acting like that.

It’s honestly gross to me when someone is that pathologically controlling—trying to manipulate their kids for their entire lives without giving a single thought to how much it actually hurts them.

I mean, sure... they're being supported by their parents.
But that doesn't give parents a free pass to treat them like that.

If you want to help, help. But don't offer a hand just so you can use it to play someone like a fool.

amberangler said:Let me weigh in here for a second...
I’m seven months along now, sporting a massive belly, yet I’ve only gained about nine pounds total. Everything else just slimmed down and migrated straight to my gut!😁
And honestly, the bigger the bump gets, the more invisible I feel when I'm riding the subway or the bus!😠
The other day, I’m on the bus, and there are two ladies sitting there—maybe in their mid-40s. One starts to stand up, and the other snaps at her, "Why are you getting up? It's not your fault she's pregnant!" 😲 The first one just goes, "You're right!" and sits right back down... Meanwhile, I’m standing there after five long years of IVF... Absolutely brutal... 😢
Then there was this other time on a forty-five-minute bus ride. No seats available, and I’m struggling with all my grocery bags. I’m standing by the folding doors, just waiting for someone to get off so I can finally sit. At the third stop, a gentleman stands up and heads toward the exit. I start picking my bags up off the floor and move toward his seat... Suddenly, this guy from Zetovac notices the opening and practically lunges—literally jumps!—toward the seat, beating me to it by a single step. He sits down and actually says, "Sorry, I can't read my newspaper while standing!" 😲 And nobody says a word... I just had to stand there for the remaining forty-five minutes until the last stop. 😢
There’s plenty more where that came from, but those two gems really take the cake...👎
On the bright side, though, I’m lucky enough that my mother-in-law is an absolute sweeeeeeeeetheart... 🙏 (Yes, yes, they actually exist!😁)

I'm speechless.

What a nation, man. Truly terrible. Absolutely pathetic.

Robin Myers said:Steven Harris16, I’m sorry you find yourself in such a mess that you feel forced to dance to someone else's tune, but I fear once you commit to that performance, you might spend the rest of your life acting as nothing more than a puppet... and 😲 one really ought to fight for their own convictions and choices. You're going to be a parent soon; you can't let your own parents make every single decision for you...

I'm right there with you.
Within the first week of marriage, I already had to put my heels down with my in-laws because they wouldn't stop meddling in things that have absolutely nothing to do with them.

It didn't work perfectly at first—they still try to run the show sometimes—but I haven't backed down. I think sticking to my guns is finally paying off. I'm already seeing progress.

Besides, now I have the perfect excuse, haha. If I ever get too blunt and snap at them about something bothering me... I'll just shrug and say, "Ugh, hormones... well, you know what happens when you push me." 😂

Yeah. I honestly don't get why you feel this pressure to tie the knot right now or even bother with a big wedding at all.

If it’s just about getting the legal paperwork out of the way... man, just head down to the courthouse. Nobody needs to know. Tell them you're pushing the big celebration back and call it a day.

Sorry, but I wouldn't want that kind of stress weighing on my mind.

On another note, I was totally fine during my own wedding, even though I was seven months pregnant. Even with the constant morning sickness and being unable to sleep a wink the night before, I still had plenty of energy. I was actually hyper enough to stay up until 5 AM.

PTSP.

People like that just come off as incredibly pretentious.
I know plenty of folks like them—people who genuinely believe they’re somehow superior to everyone else, almost untouchable.

I steer clear of those types. I'm not the kind of person who’s going to chase anyone down or try to convince them to care.
If you show me once that you aren't interested, that's it. I’m not wasting my energy on you.

edit—well, unless it's an extreme case.
See, my husband used to be exactly like that back when we first started dating.
But with him, putting in the work actually paid off. It took a long time, though, to finally break through his shell and get him to be real with me.
I mean... he’s still full of himself and thinks his intellect is basically unmatched by anyone on the planet... but he has these good qualities that outweigh that whole "I'm invincible" attitude. So, yeah... I love him anyway.

Paul Brooks6 said:Hey there!

My apologies right off the bat if I’m barking up the wrong tree here or posting this in the wrong corner of the forum...

But how on earth am I supposed to explain this particular term? For instance... say a woman is just, you know, plus-sized!
Thanks!

She’s got a solid build.
She isn't fat; she just has heavier bones and more muscle. Kind of like Wonder Woman.

Normabell hasn't been able to knock me out for a long time now. My tolerance has probably just gotten too high.
Now that I'm pregnant, I only reach for it when things get really bad—when a specific situation triggers these uncontrollable, hysterical crying fits that leave me gasping for air. Since hyperventilating isn't great for the baby, it’s honestly better to just take a pill than to suffer through that.

I used to sleep so well on it; I'd wake up feeling totally rested and somehow... light. Sure, a little groggy, but there's something really nice about how you feel coming down from a Normabell.
The same goes for xanax or my other meds, but since they aren't recommended during pregnancy, I don't have a single box left in my drawer. I tossed them all.

cosmicmaker6 said:Help!
My cycle is usually super predictable—always 28 days—but right now I'm already four days late. It was supposed to start on March 25th. The thing is, I haven't even had sex, and I'm not on any birth control or anything. I'm honestly freaking out because I have no idea why it hasn't shown up yet. What could be causing this delay? Can anyone guess what might be going on before I head to my OB-GYN? I'm really scared.

God, stop panicking. It's only been four days.
It's probably just stress. If you keep spiraling like this over nothing, it’ll probably just stay late even longer.

Yeah, but honestly, it gets exhausting when people constantly come up to you asking if you're pregnant.

Chris Grant7 said:Does anyone know if headaches and a fever can actually pop up alongside those usual pregnancy symptoms? Is that even normal???
Also, I spotted a Clearblue test at the drugstore—has anyone here actually used one before?

Headaches definitely happen.

I dealt with some pretty brutal headaches myself, and staying on top of my water intake was the only thing that helped.

steeldriver13 said:you’re going to get burned😂
make one more attempt if you really want to be certain of your failure

so your big day is actually today!
man, lucky you!!! 🙂🙂🙂
happy birthday, seriously—happy birthday! 😍

How can it be positive if there’s no pregnancy?
Well, it can if you're dealing with some kind of underlying issue.
That was actually my biggest fear when my first test came back positive—that it wasn't a baby, just some medical glitch. I went straight to get my blood work done to check my hCG levels, which confirmed I was pregnant, but even then, I couldn't stop spiraling. I was a nervous wreck waiting for that first ultrasound, constantly worrying about what the doctor would find. Was it a healthy pregnancy? An ectopic one? Something worse? Honestly, I didn't breathe a sigh of relief until I saw my Adam tucked away safely in the womb on the monitor.

That sounds like a more intense Candida infection.

Go see a gynecologist; they'll probably give you some vaginal suppositories.
If you can get your hands on Rojazol, I think that’s one of the better options.

Carol Thomas52 said:Oh, believe me, I know exactly when your fertile days are...

Asking is always a safe bet, isn't it? 🙂

Honestly, not really.

A friend of mine went through the exact same thing.

She walked into her OBGYN's office acting like she was heading into an ER at Mayo Clinic.

The doctor basically kicked her out. He couldn't handle the fact that a woman in her early 20s didn't understand the basic mechanics of her own cycle. It was embarrassing for him.

steelcrane12 said:She probably already knows, she was likely just double-checking if getting pregnant is actually possible! There's no need to come at her; this forum exists so people can ask questions without feeling ashamed and get some answers instead of a lecture.

Look, I'm not attacking her. It’s just hard for me to wrap my head around how someone who's sexually active wouldn't have even a vague idea of when their fertile window is.

Carol Thomas52 said:My cycle consistently runs longer than the standard 28 days—I’m looking at anywhere from 28 to 33. It feels like I'm constantly waiting for something that's overdue...

And how on earth do you not realize you're most fertile during these specific days rather than right after your period ends?