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What were your biggest pregnancy surprises and pet peeves? in Pregnancy · Sep 20, 2013

I’m gonna vent here to Superman and David Allen19
Since even the neighborhood cats—who usually don't give a damn about smells—have started giving me a wide berth, I figured it was time to introduce some actual good bacteria into my gut 😳
Honestly, I was low-key terrified that my business was gonna keep smelling like a chemical spill 🙈

Seriously though, why does nobody talk about this when they're busy romanticizing the "glow" of pregnancy? 🤣

What were your biggest pregnancy surprises and pet peeves? in Pregnancy · Sep 14, 2013

Roger Rodriguez said:So basically, my kid will be stupid too? 🙂 🙂 🙂
😬
I actually agree with what you're saying. Age isn't the deciding factor; if you aren't ready to be a parent at a certain age, then the number doesn't matter, though it can definitely impact your mood and behavior during and after Pregnancy.
I didn't plan on having a child either—I never even gave it much thought (I actually wanted to adopt since my family isn't exactly my cup of tea)—but now that it's happening, I realize I don't have the luxury of waiting for "motherly instincts" to magically appear; I have to force myself into it within a few months.
To be honest, I’m more stressed about everything that happens *after* the birth than the actual pregnancy itself. I can handle the nausea, the heartburn, the near-disability from sciatica, the blood pressure issues, the tears, the contractions, and the fears—that all passes eventually. But after the delivery, I won't get six months or a year of blissfully bonding with a baby and worrying about bottles and strollers; I'll have maybe two weeks to recover before I'm back at college studying. And then there's the constant worry about whether the nanny is actually reliable.
I'm not happy because I know that after the struggle of labor, I won't be heading home to enjoy time with my baby, but rather straight into more stress and constant separation.
And for the record, I'm still not buying into the myth that everything just snaps back to normal afterward. 🙂

SC, I don't know your specific situation or which school you're attending, but here in the US, maternity leave laws exist for a reason. Any decent university should accommodate you by law, just like any employer would. You're entitled to protected time off. Go talk to the Dean if the administration gives you any grief 🤷 call Bjeliš. Whatever. It's a legal right for any woman giving birth.
You need time to heal, physically and mentally, to find your footing again. And so does your baby. You don't need to try to be Vesna škare Ožbolt 😬
Besides, this is your first child. You're the one who decides your priorities. College isn't going anywhere; it'll still be sitting there exactly where you left it, while babies grow and change every single day. If you aren't there for those moments, it's incredibly hard to build that bond later.
I'm a total careerist myself, but I put my PhD on the back burner for now because, honestly... the degrees and fellowships will always be there. For now, the baby comes first. And yeah, mine was unplanned too 😁

As for the vagina thing, I don't know, but I'm crossing my fingers for you. 😁

What were your biggest pregnancy surprises and pet peeves? in Pregnancy · May 24, 2013

Roger Rodriguez said:I'm actually at 10 weeks, so I am counting down the days until week 12! I am so convinced that once I get there, the nausea, the exhaustion, and everything else making my life miserable will finally ease up 🙂.
I tried those teas, but they just made me run to the restroom constantly. Then I tried warm milk with honey, but it tasted and smelled like I was drinking my own vomit, so I think I'm done with that experiment 🤣.
Besides, what's the point of even sleeping? I just spend the night dreaming about bleeding, or having a miscarriage, or giving birth to a baby with severe defects. Last week, I actually dreamed I gave birth to a giant black snake
. Just two more weeks, two more weeks, two more weeks, two more weeks...

So, are you actually managing to catch any sleep during the day? Just hang in there—two or three more weeks and you might finally be able to eat and sleep like a normal human being again. I just realized the other day that my breasts have finally stopped hurting. 😍 FINALLY!!! And I can actually use the bathroom like a regular person again, aside from the fact that I'm up 5 or 6 times a night to pee. 🤣 I guess this is just the "pregame" for what’s coming in five months.

You reminded me of that time I had a dream where I birthed kittens. 😁 Damned toxoplasmosis. 😬

What were your biggest pregnancy surprises and pet peeves? in Pregnancy · May 13, 2013

Roger Rodriguez said:I am HOPING that everything settles into place. Honestly, I'm just waiting for that to happen naturally because I can see that I can't force the process, no matter how hard I try. 😁Between my chaos at college and at home, I think if I weren't pregnant, this part of the year would be absolutely miserable and stressful; I'd be a wreck. With these hormones, I'm completely unmanageable. 😵

Look, I don't think you meant anything by it, but the way you're framing this feels a lot like those unsolicited lectures I get from others that just drive me up the wall. "Get a grip," "grow up"—as if that somehow happens overnight, right? I am frustrated, angry, and sad because I feel unprepared and things are genuinely hard. My pregnancy didn't start off smoothly, I have other health issues, and I had to stop my antidepressants cold turkey, so I'm dealing with withdrawal on top of everything else. Because of the pregnancy, I can't turn to medication or even alternative therapies because I'm terrified of messing something up.
And is it really such a crime to want to finish my degree and pass my midterms and finals? It doesn't matter, and I'm not making excuses to anyone about how I got pregnant; it happened to me just like it happened to others who weren't planning for it. I'm not annoyed by the fact that I'm pregnant—I'm annoyed that people are judging me for not putting my entire life on hold, for not moving back home or taking a gap year.
Honestly, it’s revolting when people act like pregnant women are nothing more than child-making factories. That’s exactly why I wrote that I am NOT that, nor are any other pregnant women. I feel like people offering advice about how I should just lie around and gain weight think that's all I am! That was my point, though maybe you misunderstood what I was saying. Basically, I want to maintain a normal life (just like Gary Nguyen45 mentioned below—I don't have to give everything up), yet everyone expects me to abandon everything!
It isn't shameful to admit I'd love to go to a concert or grab dinner out, but I can't because I'm constantly exhausted and can barely stand. That doesn't mean I won't love my baby or that I won't be overjoyed when they smile at me. I don't understand why comments like that are met with such hostility, as if I'm some kind of monster. 😕
I would give anything to be one of those pregnant women who is purely blissful and carefree about the future. But I’m not enjoying this; I’m scared. I'm terrified because I have no idea what's coming, and I approach every doctor's appointment like I'm heading into combat. Maybe my "problem" is that my brain hasn't turned to mush since finding out I'm pregnant. I'm still aware that pregnancy and life afterward aren't always sunshine and rainbows; there are struggles and hardships that might be incredibly difficult to navigate. Instead of pretending everything will just fix itself, I'm trying to stay grounded and realistic so I don't crash when reality hits. There are plenty of us like this—we aren't all walking on sunshine. Some of us are scared and sad (and again, feeling these emotions has nothing to do with how much we will love our child).

Look, if I can deal with it, you can too. I think most women go through these phases; they just don't talk about them or they bury them deep. In fact, aside from what you see in commercials, I don't even know any pregnant women who are just "happy" and glowing with pure, unadulterated joy.
Of course you want to go to concerts and get out of the house. Of course you want your life to not completely flip upside down. 🤷
My emotions are all over the place, swinging from total happiness to straight-up despair about being pregnant. I’m an old soul, and I’ve been thinking for years about how much I’d like to have a kid. Now that it's actually happening, I’m mostly just in shock. 😁

Hang in there. This part sucks. Once you get past this first trimester (hopefully), things should get easier, at least physically, if not mentally.
Like you said, this time of year is stressful enough on its own—finals, midterms, all that—so adding a hormone surge and coming off medication just turns everything up to eleven.

For starters, there will still be concerts in a month or two. Don't let your overbearing relatives talk you into wrapping yourself in black immediately. I’m already prepping for a few shows myself. 😍 I’ve gone out, danced, and jumped around. I run, and I eat whatever the hell I want. I haven't ditched my pets or changed my diet (I don't eat meat and I don't plan to). I puke when I need to puke, and I smile like an idiot. Most importantly? I DON'T TELL EVERYONE EVERYTHING and I DON'T LISTEN TO EVERYONE. When someone starts talking nonsense to me, I just smile and keep my thoughts to myself. Look, you’re pregnant now. Give yourself permission to not be polite or sweet. You don't have to listen to anyone except the people you actually love and trust. And sometimes, you can even tell even *them* to back off and apologize later. Blame it on the hormones.
Trust me, bit by bit, you’re going to find your tribe—those people you actually want to hang out with and share things with.
Things always start looking up after about 11 or 12 weeks. Sending all the good vibes to my fellow strugglers in the trenches. 😬

What were your biggest pregnancy surprises and pet peeves? in Pregnancy · May 10, 2013

Andrew Hill8 said:Mother-in-laws definitely deserve their own dedicated topic😂
Honestly, I’m not stressing about anything, I'm just letting things happen naturally, I just wish people would stop poking their noses into my pregnancy business, it's so annoying🙂
Just wait until the baby actually arrives, then the meddling is going to hit a whole new level😲😁
So, do you live with your mother-in-law or do you guys have your own place?
P.S. I totally get how hard it is having been on bed rest, and I know how crappy it feels to have to rely on someone else for everything, especially since my own mother-in-law is already telling me how she’s going to handle all the cooking once the baby comes...
Well, if it turns out great, I'll have plenty of time to cook however I want anyway☕

😁 I’m already looking forward to being treated like royalty once the baby arrives. Honestly, I can't wait for everyone to start hovering and catering to my every whim while I recover.
I leave all the cooking to my mom. 😍
Maybe it helps that my mother-in-law lives about 7,500 miles away.

Honestly, I just realized nothing is actually getting under my skin right now... except for the fact that I actually have to work. If it were up to me, I’d just spend the whole day wandering around Target or Nordstrom, browsing through the baby aisles and obsessing over tiny little onesies and soft stuff.

What were your biggest pregnancy surprises and pet peeves? in Pregnancy · Apr 4, 2013

I’m honestly losing my mind. I’m already nine weeks along, and I still haven’t broken the news to the father. He’s currently out of state waiting to start this new gig, and he’s expecting me to pack up and head his way almost immediately. The guy is already a nervous wreck about the job change and our big move, and frankly, I don't even know how I feel about moving yet. This baby was a total accident—it was a complete roll of the dice 😁—and now I just feel totally lost. Worse, I feel like a total fraud, looking him in the eye and pretending everything is business as usual when nothing is.
My biggest fear is that he’s going to suggest we "wait" on having kids, but that’s just not on the table for me. I am terrified of having to face that conversation 😢
On top of the stress, my breasts are killing me. They feel so heavy and swollen I can barely even walk comfortably, and the smell of literally everything is making me gag.
Even the chocolate I usually live for tastes like garbage right now 🙂, and most sweets are a hard pass. Well, okay, the food thing isn't driving me *quite* as crazy 😁
Anyway, hang in there, ladies!

Commuting to work by bike in Cycling · Mar 20, 2012

The whole stretch? Or just by the mosque?

So, basically, through downtown, past the river embankment and those stairs—hauling stuff to the bridge, then hitting the bike lane going the wrong way😁, passing the university library, a bit more riding against traffic, the pedestrian walkway, the main strip, near that Chinese spot, heading onto Držić's, cutting right into Mislav's, the mosque, Dukljaninova, and finally Martić's.

Last year, I pretty much drove the whole thing in my Jeep, and honestly, it wasn't even half as chaotic, even with the outdoor seating, pedestrians, and cars pulling out onto the street.

Commuting to work by bike in Cycling · Mar 20, 2012

I’m only calling out that advantage because I drive that exact route every single day, and honestly, it’s wild how many cars just don't stop. Sometimes people actually make eye contact with me and then veer toward the streetcar tracks instead of yielding, but they don't stop. And neither do I. It’s a lot easier to play those games when you're behind the wheel of a car. On a bike, it's a whole different beast. Back when I was riding an MTB, I could dodge things way easier since I was more agile, but on this new rig? I'm struggling just to keep up.

Anyway, gotta just stay brave. Thanks for the input, everyone. I think I might just tape a giant "L" sign to my back so people give me some space. 😁
The only real issue is how vague the laws are when it comes to cyclists. Anyone can just hop onto the road right alongside the cars, and half of them don't even bother learning basic traffic rules or what the signs actually mean.

Commuting to work by bike in Cycling · Mar 20, 2012

Thanks, but there's zero chance I'm riding through the gutter (at least not all the time)
The only way we’re ever getting actual bike lanes—instead of these pathetic, broken little 🙄 strips—is if we just take over the streets. I really hope I don't run into anyone more stubborn than me 😁

I wasn't even sure about it because if I stick to the right side, I honestly have no clue how to handle lane changes. Like, it makes zero sense. Relying on some guy in an SUV to actually pay attention while I’m out here frantically waving my hand? Yeah, not happening. And trying to jump from two right-turn lanes into one straight lane, while also praying the drivers pulling out from Zvonimir Street will actually stop and let me pass? Ugh... I'm still a total rookie at this.
For now, I just hopped off the bike, played by the rules like a good citizen, crossed at the crosswalk, and hopped back on over on Duklanin Avenue.

🙂 Coming from a city where the bike infrastructure actually works compared to anything we have here is a total trauma. Seriously.

Commuting to work by bike in Cycling · Mar 19, 2012

So, I finally hopped back on my bike for my first commute of the year today.
God, what a nerve-wracking mess. 🙂

Look, I swapped out my old ride for a new one, so I’m still getting used to the handling, but that wasn't even the worst part. Right as I hit the main road, some jerk tried to run me off the pavement—I wouldn't be so sure if he hadn't yelled out his window, "You absolute moron, get off the road!" Then, making my way from the Marriott toward the community center, I was riding right in the lane and almost ate a bumper because some guy slammed on his brakes for a speed bump. And don't even get me started on those concrete bollards lining the street. Absolute savages. Thank God there weren't any streetcars around, or I probably would have passed out from pure terror.

Then, once I finally reached the center, I hit another wall: how the hell am I supposed to navigate over to Martić's? You've got two lanes all turning right onto Zvonimir, but I need to go straight. Do I just cut through traffic? How does anyone actually do this without dying?

I showed up to work completely soaked. Not from rain, either—just straight-up sweat from being terrified. And mind you, I’ve got plenty of experience behind a wheel and a handlebar. I'm not exactly 😢
old.

Brain drain risks after joining the European Union? in Economy · Jun 20, 2011

briskdrifter3 said:My colleague is being sarcastic... perhaps try reading more carefully before jumping in with an answer...

I dropped those numbers because I keep getting grilled by people asking me to basically hand them a job over here. It’s always the same story—everyone has this delusional vision of Spain being some kind of economic powerhouse like it was five years ago. Get real.
Look, please, just drop the instructions on how I should respond to the thread. I've been holding my own on this forum for years now—I can handle myself just fine.

briskdrifter3 said:Alright, look—Spain might not be exactly the Promised Land, but there are plenty of other spots in Europe that are perfectly decent. All the Nordic countries, the United Kingdom, Germany, Austria, Italy, maybe even France... I might even go so far as to say Canada (don't come for me on that one). You have to admit, in these places, you’ll earn a higher wage for the exact same job compared to what we see here in America—and you'll live better once you actually have your paperwork sorted... you know, a permanent residency and a proper work permit. I’m not even counting temporary gigs, because honestly, even if you're highly educated, the pay won't match.
For instance, a colleague of mine was over in the United Kingdom recently, and the place is absolutely swamped with people from Poland. He was in a neighborhood in some smaller town where you don't hear a word of English—just Polish—where even the street signs are in Polish. Historically, the United Kingdom had those restrictions limiting Poles to seven years maximum after joining the European Union.
We probably won't face those kinds of bans... since there are only about four million of us, most countries would likely assimilate us pretty quickly.

Look, a work ban isn't some personal grudge or a decision based on how big a country is or whether someone likes you. It’s pure administrative diplomacy. Period. It works like this: just like every other country hit with the maximum ban—take Spain, for example—we’re going to get slapped with the exact same thing. This is a diplomatic move, plain and simple. Nobody wants to start making enemies out of the other nations that already took the full hit. That’s just how the game is played.

Look, when it comes to getting your paperwork sorted, obviously having the right docs in hand makes life a hell of a lot easier. But honestly? That’s just how the world works. It’s been that way forever, and it hasn't changed now.

Brain drain risks after joining the European Union? in Economy · Jun 20, 2011

ironstag8 said:I’d honestly suggest looking toward Spain. Unemployment there is practically non-existent, and if you happen to be a young professional with a university degree, you'll find yourself a complete stranger to the concept of being jobless. While things aren't quite as perfect in other European Union nations—though they remain promising enough—they seem to be just waiting for us to show up. That magical date of July 13, 2013, is fast approaching, and they are already busy carving out job openings for our fleeing youth, our intellectuals, and even our blue-collar workers alike.

🙏 Which version of Spain are you hallucinating about???
The one where people have been out in the streets for a month straight protesting because unemployment is sitting at 20%, and for kids, it's closer to 35% with zero hope for anything better???
Give me a break. Spain right now is a complete disaster. 🤷
Tons of people are idle and tons of people aren't getting paid, while the banks are squeezing everyone harder than ever before.
Seriously, stop misleading people. Spain is on its knees, the right wing has tightened its grip after the last elections, and they don't want new immigrants—and honestly, they don't even want the ones who are already there.

What keeps you scrolling? Why do you spend so much time online? in Psychology & Therapy · Aug 22, 2010

Ugh... I’m one of those people who is basically always plugged in—at work, at home, even in the bathroom 🙄
I try to set some boundaries for myself, and honestly, I’d love to be using my screen time for something actually productive, but mostly I’m just burning daylight. It’s not even that I’m bored and trying to kill time; it’s more like I just get hooked and end up spiraling down a YouTube rabbit hole watching some hyper-niche footage I didn't even know existed. And don't even get me started on how much time I waste on Facebook, it's embarrassing. But I refuse to go invisible because then I’d be even more addicted. Gmail? Yeah, I never log off... I always need to be available for my friends 😬

My excuse is that I’m in a long-distance relationship that relies on Skype or Facebook, but even so, I’m online way too much. Even when I know he can’t or won’t talk, I’m still just surfing. We’ll see if this stops once we finally live in the same place. Though, once that happens, I’ll probably just be glued to my phone trying to stay in touch with my family and friends. Honestly, there’s probably no winning here

I have real-life friends, but I’ve noticed us drifting apart lately. It feels like I’m starting to gravitate toward people online who are just easier to chat with without any drama 😬

I tried blocking Facebook at work (yeah, yeah... I know, I’m my own worst enemy 🙂) but my finger always finds its way back to the site 😁

If I had to crunch the numbers—at work, I’m looking at 8 to 10 hours (depending on how much I’m actually working versus "working") then I get home, fire up the PC, and don't shut it down until I hit the sack. In between, it's either TV or just endless scrolling. I do hold one line in the sand, though: I won't check emails or browse on my phone in the morning. That’s my last shred of hope 😢 I spend a lot of time lurking on Reddit, but I rarely post anything. Even that doesn't make total sense to me 🤷

Night vision lenses in Health · Jun 8, 2010

briskmaker7 said:Bradley Smith, I sent you a private message. I'm glad you reached out and that everything is fine. 👍

Could you let mistyjackal842 know what the price looks like?

No worries at all, we can do this again sometime. I'll shoot you a private message with the pricing. 🙂

Go look for that other thread about the dream lenses; I wrote a whole thing there about how the adjustment period went for me. Getting used to them takes a minute, and honestly, it's quite the experience. 🤣

Anyway, good luck. 🙂

Night vision lenses in Health · Jun 7, 2010

Count me in too 🙂

I’ve been rocking these lenses for five years now 🤔 I think, though I really should dig up my old thread to be sure

Honestly, I love them. Surgery isn't even a thought in my mind anymore

Look, Dr. Baić is who he is, but after he literally saved my eye—something the specialists at the hospital couldn't pull off before they just sent me home and told me to wait for the 😠 to pass—he has my total trust. He’s a master at what he does and incredibly meticulous during exams. Sure, paperwork and efficiency aren't his strong suits, but when it comes to eyes, he’s thorough. That even includes him nagging me when my lenses are nearing their expiration date
As far as I know, he’s still the only one doing this kind of thing in the US, and frankly, I have no clue why. It’s probably just easier to deal with standard glasses and contacts since here, every single eye gets scanned and assessed individually, which eats up a ton of time. Regardless, I’m sticking with him because it works

On the flip side, my eyes have taken a beating from all kinds of different lenses over the years, and this is definitely the right move for me. I wear them while I sleep, pop them out in the morning, and I can see everything all day long. If I pull an all-nighter, which happens more than I'd like to admit, I can usually see fine until I finally hit the sack 😁
The perks? Open-eye diving, not having to hunt for sunglasses the second a bit of sunlight hits, skiing, tanning in the snow... it’s been a game changer. As for my prescription, I can't quite recall 😁 maybe somewhere around -3. I'm so used to seeing clearly that I don't even "feel" the prescription anymore

The method is legitimate and well-established; it's not some weird mumbo jumbo 🤷 I don't get why people are making such a big deal out of it. If the FDA gives it the thumbs up, then I do too

Anyway, just Google orthokeratology and make up your own mind. At the end of the day, it's your eyes we're talking about 🙂

Past INmusic Festival lineups & sets (Archive) in Music · Apr 16, 2010

Nancy Barnes77 said:Five years of the Coachella Valley Music and Arts Festival and this is easily their weakest lineup yet...

It’s pretty obvious the people running this festival have no clue what they're doing...

👋 go make a better one

Personally, I think the lineup is killer
The Flaming Lips playing in Los Angeles 😍
LCD 😍
!!! 😍
Caribou 😍
Pendulum live 😍
Billy Idol 😍
Massive Attack 😍
Flogging Molly 😍

Best one yet 🙏

Past INmusic Festival lineups & sets (Archive) in Music · Mar 23, 2010

Drew Adams58 said:Man, who’s actually gonna show up to this dance🙂

Look, if we're doing this, I want a choreographed routine straight out of a music video😍😍😍
I'll even bring my own tie

Past INmusic Festival lineups & sets (Archive) in Music · Mar 17, 2009

ironstag16 said:It's fine, I guess, but they'll probably lean too hard on stuff from that new album—which, honestly, is kind of a snooze fest. The first one was actually decent for those summer vibes when you just want to jump around and have fun. 🙂

😁 No biggie, she just needs to blow off some steam... she's the type who loves grabbing a few drinks at the show and passing around a bottle of Jack with the crew. She's a good kid. 😍 makes me

Not wanting kids: Is it just me? in Psychology · Dec 24, 2008

We touched on this over on the Reddit threads recently, so there’s probably no point in rehashing the whole thing here.
Plus, it's actually pretty interesting how things are pivoting toward what hannah3 was mentioning—basically, how to shut down people fishing for info without feeling like a complete jerk about it 🤷 while still keeping your boundaries intact

Not wanting kids: Is it just me? in Psychology · Dec 22, 2008

Gerald Scott4 said:It’s actually nice that someone finally recognizes what I’m really like in my day-to-day life☕
you couldn't be more wrong if you tried😉 judging people clearly isn't your forte😉

edit: anyway, let's get back to the actual topic😁

I actually liked your first reply better; too bad you deleted it
🤣 and honestly, nothing beats watching you bring up sex in a thread about kids🤣
man, you're something else🙏 🙏 🙂

what was that thing you said about not standing out? :wipes a tear from eye: