Posts by Jerry Martinez5

Look, I’m not trying to be harsh, I’m just asking: how old are you actually? It’s pretty standard stuff—when puberty hits, you suddenly feel like you're some kind of special snowflake in a world of billions. Like you're the only one suffering, or like you're uniquely different. I guess it's just one of those growing pains
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Fast forward a few years, and honestly, I stay far away from people who think their independent thinking makes them superior. They're exhausting. They don't actually want company; they just want an audience to bow down and say, wow, you're so unique!

But it’s a two-way street: these types usually decide everyone else is boring or dim-witted... so they live in this bubble, clinging to the illusion that they're something extraordinary. Meanwhile, they're surrounded by dozens of others just like them—unhappy, lonely, and special
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Zachary Patel6, you’ve basically just described a decent, kind person who happens to be struggling hard with themselves and their own life. I guess there are probably dozens of people like that on Psychology Today 😉

I feel for your friend 😢

hollowraven3 said:I don't think my domestic life is actually the issue here, because if I'm being honest, those relationships are more than fine. It might be more about losing someone incredibly close to me—that feeling where you just stop caring about anyone at all, until a certain person comes along. Someone who, even just as a friend, gives you the strength, the willpower, and the actual desire to pull yourself together and start enjoying life again.
I absolutely admit that I love her. Honestly, it feels implied when we spend our days together and talk multiple times every single day... The thing is, I'm just confused because I've never had a relationship this intimate or open with anyone else. For instance, if I had a girlfriend, she’d probably get angry if I let her read my texts or if I put my hands in my pockets, but with her, I can talk about absolutely anything. And it isn't just me being jealous of some "third party." She would make it very obvious if she actually cared whether I was seeing some other girl or not.
I am not sugarcoating a single thing in this story! I'm just not entirely sure if what I'm feeling is "love" in the traditional sense. It just leaves me incredibly baffled that I can feel this much love for someone while everything remains strictly platonic...

I’ve had two of those "situationships" in my life. Both guys were actually single—not seeing anyone else. We had a blast, spent all our time together, and everyone assumed we were dating. But we weren't a couple; it was all just platonic

I guess you're maybe under 25?

Hopefully, it won't be as confusing once you realize these kinds of dynamics aren't exactly rare. Eventually, everyone finds their own reason for why they needed that connection. Maybe there's a reason you didn't just move on to someone else and start a real relationship at the time.

Honestly, special people either have some heavy diagnosis or they're just young and still out there searching for themselves. (That’s what Maria Callas said, and I second that.)

Every single person is unique in their own way, and anyone we get close to becomes special once we actually take the time to know them.

When I was a kid, I totally thought I was this one-of-a-kind, ultra-special phenomenon. But then you start reading books, lyrics, watching movies, and you realize that your "unique" little quirks have already been described a million times over by someone else 😍

It makes you feel kind of bad: ugh, so I'm not actually as special as I thought, but it also feels pretty great: look, there are other people out there just like me, which means I'm not alone or misunderstood. 🎉

copperridge77 said:If I may ask one question: why does every single discussion regarding psychology eventually spiral into talking about having a bad father, an overly close relationship with a father, or a complete lack of a relationship with a father? I believe there are countless factors in life that shape us... (to put it simply, whenever I turn around, I somehow end up back at my dad. 🙂 )
As for this other matter, if everything written above is sincere and truly describes your actual feelings and thoughts without any sugarcoating, then in my view, this is one of the purest forms of love, regardless of its nature. (Personally, it strikes me as a romantic love for a woman rather than just friendship, but I suppose these things aren't easy to articulate, especially when you haven't even figured it out yourself.)

How? Don't like 80 percent of these cases end with the mother?

A mother has a much larger impact on a child than a father does. And what do you think? Which factor is actually crucial in shaping how we relate to the opposite sex? Something more important than parental relationships? Success in math class or eye color?

If this had been posted in Men's Corner, you'd get one type of answer; here, you get another. But I guess we can't say much if I don't write

Why is it such a struggle for you to just admit you love her and want her all to yourself?

You’ve accepted being "the other guy," and you actually nurture that specific niche she has for you. You only feel threatened if a third person shows up—because you have no intention of messing with her relationship with her primary partner.

Yeah, it’s psychological. And I bet if I told you this stems from your relationship with your father, you’d just tell me your old man is great. 😉

To put it simply: it’s a phase of growing up. Plenty of people go through it, maintaining relationships that can be incredibly intense and close, yet completely platonic. It would only be an issue if you spent decades stuck like this, but we aren't there yet.

hiddenhound3 said:Why would anyone say "better than you deserve"? 😢 Doesn't everyone deserve to feel wonderful?

I would argue that it qualifies as a drug because it relies on an external, chemical factor to artificially elevate our mood.

It's about feeling better than you deserve in that specific moment. For instance, maybe you're 25 and desperate to be independent. You're struggling because you haven't graduated yet and your parents are breathing down your neck. AD gives you a boost more than you deserve, but what you actually need is help fixing your life: graduating, finding a job, moving out of your parents' house 👍

You can't change that internal sense of inadequacy without changing your actual circumstances. Unless you use drugs: which is just a temporary fix with a massive list of side effects 👎

Hannah Davis18 said:Also, just saying, talking about drugs like this is pretty messed up. 😢Especially when we're talking about people undergoing medical treatment. I mean, you wouldn't tell someone on morphine that they're just getting high at the government's expense.☕

In that sense, AD is expensive: it makes you feel better than you actually deserve. I guess lonegardener just took it a step further.

I’ve taken this argument to an absurd level. AD is just an escape from a grim reality—it’s meant to give someone a window of opportunity to actually start fixing that reality. If they don't take that chance, I guess eventually even the pills won't be enough to help. 😢

Alright, someone help a girl out—I've decided to go off AD on my own! I think there’s a massive misunderstanding happening here. I mean, maybe I’m just reading too much into it, but it feels like everyone is missing the point entirely. Regarding what Hannah Davis18 said—honestly, I don't know how you can even argue that. It’s pretty straightforward if you actually look at the facts. And then you have Jerry Martinez5 chiming in with those wild theories... I guess it’s easy to get carried away, but it’s a bit much, isn't it? I read what Eric Thomas89 posted earlier, and while I see where he's coming from, I still think the logic is a little thin. Maybe it’s just me. But seriously, the way people are reacting to this is almost comical. It’s like watching a slow-motion train wreck. Anyway, just my two cents. I’ll probably just sit back and watch this mess unfold.

hiddenhound3 said:I find myself pondering a similar question—is there truly a cure for depression in principle, or are antidepressants merely legalized substances that provide the same chemical escapism as illicit drugs?
Furthermore, is it actually possible to develop a dependency on these medications?
To be honest, I find the idea that antidepressants actually "cure" depression rather unconvincing; it feels more like they simply mask the symptoms or attempt to invert them rather than addressing the root cause.

Wait, hasn't this already been answered? Or am I just mixing up different threads? 😕

Antidepressants only ease the symptoms. In that sense, they mask them. Depression isn't cured by meds; they're just a tool used during treatment. They dampen the symptoms just enough so you can actually face your problems.

The only real way to treat it, as far as I know, is psychotherapy. The goal there is to change the person—how they view themselves, their life, and the world around them. People who just pop pills and wait for it to pass... 👎

Hannah Davis18 said:There’s nothing mystical about feelings.😉
I still feel like a human being, not some damn robot.

Anyway, I'll stop. Don't want to start an argument with Jerry Martinez5. 😘

edit; sure, you could fake it. Why not... but there's also that thing where a doctor helps out by writing down a "slightly different" diagnosis just so your medical records don't look a certain way. 😉

The issue isn't you; it's Apemant. 🤣🤣🤣
He's a great typer, but he clearly gets a huge kick out of derailing the conversation. 👎
Apemant, just start your own thread about whatever you want. 🙂

Regarding Edith: I've heard that too. Who wouldn't want to avoid a diagnosis causing issues? But what does a diagnosis even mean? It's just a sentence, nothing more. If you're doing the work, things change.

Paul Garcia25 said:1. Their mood doesn't suddenly skyrocket into hypomania—it usually just stays level.
2. They deal with all those unpleasant side effects.

The reality is that antidepressants aren't designed to turn a depressed person into a ray of sunshine (hypomanic or euphoric); they simply drag someone out of a negative hole and back down to zero—that "everything feels flat" sensation.

PS
Psychiatrists aren't exactly omnipotent, but they can tell when someone is playing games with their symptoms—which, in certain contexts, can actually cross the line into criminal territory (forensic psychiatry spends a lot of time teaching how to distinguish a genuine patient from someone just faking it).

Do you have any idea how long that would actually take? I mean, it doesn't seem logical that a single session would be enough for someone to successfully fake a disorder they don't actually have.

It occurred to me that there is that whole "observation period" thing, where a patient is hospitalized specifically so their condition can be monitored over time. But honestly, I doubt conditions like depression and anxiety require that much extended observation just to be identified.

Paul Garcia25 said:1. Their mood doesn't suddenly skyrocket into hypomania—it usually just stays level.
2. They deal with all those unpleasant side effects.

The reality is that antidepressants aren't designed to turn a depressed person into a ray of sunshine (hypomanic or euphoric); they simply drag someone out of a negative hole and back down to zero—that "everything feels flat" sensation.

PS
Psychiatrists aren't exactly omnipotent, but they can tell when someone is playing games with their symptoms—which, in certain contexts, can actually cross the line into criminal territory (forensic psychiatry spends a lot of time teaching how to distinguish a genuine patient from someone just faking it).

Thread 1: This caught my eye. Are you sure about that? How can you be so certain? I'm asking seriously.

Wouldn't it be more logical for someone's mood to "lift"? I mean, antidepressants are linked to serotonin release, aren't they?

wearyowl29 said:So, I was thinking about this today—what actually happens if someone who isn't dealing with depression decides to pop some antidepressants, like Zoloft or something?
And another thing on my mind... is it even possible to fake depression or anxiety when you're sitting there in a doctor's office?🤷

Here’s the topic. Basically, there are two threads here:
What happens when someone without depression takes an antidepressant? Specifically Deprozel—never heard of that one, I guess.
Can you fake depression and anxiety? I guess maybe. It seems possible, though I doubt anyone would bother with all that drama unless they had a reason to.

lonegardener said:Is it stuck? 😍 Does "lonegardener" sound like a female name to you? 😬

Exactly. That’s my point—I'm aiming at something much bigger than just a scapegoat. Even the citizens living in a Brave New World still find ways to stay busy... but why? There isn't even a reason to do it. 🤷

In short, could you explain to me *why* that option is such a dealbreaker for you? Is it because you don't want to be stuck feeling constant, uninterrupted happiness? 😬

And why is it that you never actually start your own threads, but instead just hijack everyone else's? ☕

In technical terms, I guess you could call it trolling. 😬

Can we please get back to the topic at hand?

Taylor Patel6 said:Honestly, antidepressants are great, especially if you aren't even depressed to begin with.😁
You just get hit with a massive serotonin overload and suddenly life is awesome.😍 😍😍

I mean, who wouldn't want to take a little happy pill?😁

Personally, I'll pass. 👍

I want to fix my life. I want to actually feel good because of my own damn effort.

I actually want an expert to weigh in here: what happens when a perfectly healthy person starts taking antidepressants? (Is that even possible if someone is truly healthy? It feels like a totally sane person deciding to start consuming motor oil 😵 )

And what about someone with a different diagnosis who just decides to self-medicate with antidepressants on their own whim?

wearyowl29 said:So, I was thinking about this today—what actually happens if someone who isn't dealing with depression decides to pop some antidepressants, like Zoloft or something?
And another thing on my mind... is it even possible to fake depression or anxiety when you're sitting there in a doctor's office?🤷

Until an expert shows up:
- If a healthy person starts on antidepressants, I guess they might hit a state of euphoria once the meds kick in after a few weeks.
- From what I know, some people take them just for anxiety without being depressed. Maybe other diagnoses too? I don't know.
- You can fake anything. If I walk into my GP's office and tell her aliens visited me and I'm planning to turn the Sahara green—while casually mentioning I'm wondering if suicide would help the cause—I'm pretty sure she'll either send me straight to a psych ward or a psychiatrist.

Even health can be faked. Plenty of people pull it off. They suffer, but they hide it from everyone else perfectly fine. 😢

feralhound55 said:Same here... I remember one time during a job interview process, I ended up being listed second—purely because of some stupid alphabetical order. Basically, someone else and I were both top candidates, but since my last name fell later in the alphabet, I was ranked second. And instead of my wonderful parents being happy that I actually landed the job (since we both got hired), they just poked at it... ugh, "well, you were only second." They said it with that tone of "see, I knew you weren't all that"... 🙄

Just tune it out and move on. At the end of the day, you're the only one who truly knows your worth. Some parents just don't know how to show affection—they can't even love properly because nobody ever showed them how. It's not really an excuse, but you don't have much choice but to accept them as they are. You just have to start loving yourself, even if it's tough when those old wounds run deep.

The thing is, kids (especially little ones) see their parents as god—like their entire universe. For obvious reasons. Everything they say feels like the absolute, undeniable truth. But once you grow up, you realize that's not quite right. They're just people, flawed just like the rest of us. You accept it and stop letting it get to you. Easier said than done, sure, but it's worth the effort.

It isn't just about effort; it's a necessity.

I was out with my mom and her 7-year-old daughter the other day. The kid is such a sweet, delicate little thing. Her mom is just miserable and completely dissatisfied with life. She took it all out on her daughter, though she probably didn't even realize she was doing it. The little girl was practically begging for a shred of approval—an impossible mission.👎

I'd bet anything that in five or six years, when she hits puberty, she'll be convinced she's incredibly ugly and will struggle to talk to anyone, especially guys.😢

My bad... that's just what happens when threads get merged 🙈

James Ramirez10 said:And they’re essentially killing you off, one little bit at a time. Yeah. That’s pretty much how it works.

If you're talking about parents—then yeah, absolutely.

But eventually, we grow up. We finally get a shot at walking away from their constant condescension and how they stifle everything we do. We can actually build our own standards so we aren't constantly chasing their approval anymore.