Posts by Jerry Martinez5

Look, Hi-Fi, don't get ahead of yourself. Soccer has its own set of rules, and Reddit has its own too. Have you even bothered to read the guidelines?

So, on what basis are you even complaining?

Only he knows the truth. Only he knew what kind of darkness was piling up inside him. I find it hard to buy the whole "hearing voices" thing—the idea that he was experiencing a severe psychotic break—because if that were actually the case, we probably would have seen signs much earlier. And I guess you can't just blame it on combat trauma either; plenty of veterans have been through hell without snapping like this.

If he were still alive, maybe experts could finally pin down a cause, though even then, I suspect they’d just end up arguing with different theories. As it stands, we’re all just left guessing.

I honestly can't wrap my head around what drives a person to take their own child's life. It's just incomprehensible. 😢

Dana Reyes5 said:I’d back that up, though I guess the only exception would be if a post is just straight-up offensive.

No. I’ll delete stuff that isn't even that insulting if I think it’s going to cause trouble down the line. Doesn't matter if they already have a strike or not. A post with a strike stays up mostly for educational purposes. Or if the argument has gone too far and deleting everything just wouldn't make sense.

Donna Wood52 said:I haven't really noticed that—at least not from my experience dealing with women...

For me, it’s more of a guy thing... seeing them look great but being totally insecure about it? That’s just exhausting..

Maybe women are just better at hiding it?

Keep dreaming 👍

Basically: I know plenty of people who look incredible but have zero self-confidence. Unfortunately, there are way too many of them 😢

And as for the insults? That’s just rock bottom. The other day, our manager went on a total tear, insulting us left and right. Out of ten of us, maybe three spoke up, and even then, it was just about certain details 😢
But yeah—we didn't just sit there. We didn't exactly give him the response he wanted, either: we totally threw him off his game 👎

The topic isn't irrelevant, but it’s far from finished since we haven't forced you to actually define what makes someone special in your eyes. Unless, of course, you think they have to be Einstein or Mussolini 😁

It seems to me that these kinds of relationships are just an extension of those "best friend" dynamics. It happens to guys too, I guess, but it feels way more common with girls having that one "bestie" they spend every waking second with. Just like Maher put it, they’re basically attached at the hip.

I went ahead and deleted that debate about whether Einstein or Tesla was the bigger icon, because honestly, it had nothing to do with the topic at hand. 😉

The subject here is: people who actually stand out from the crowd. I already provided my own examples of those geniuses. But, I guess the real question is—does a person actually have to be a genius to be special?

For instance, there is a friend's mother who is just, truly, incredibly special to me. She is so gentle and radiates such warmth and love; I haven't met anyone quite like her. And she’s just an ordinary housewife, a retiree.

Brenda Cooper3 said:Why does everyone always bring up Einstein when they talk about geniuses?
Why does nobody ever mention Nikola Tesla?
The man was ten times smarter than Einstein.

😂😂😂

I mean, I didn't even see your post and I thought of Tesla. And Picasso. Let's keep going: Kafka. Or what was that guy from the river who died young? Joyce was definitely unique—nobody can actually read Ulysses. Reagan was unique, too; I don't recall meeting anyone quite that polarizing. Marilyn Monroe was special for her beauty. And maybe some random pop star. Or an Olympic skier. Or a specific manager at a local FedEx hub.

Plus there's a million "Hannibal Lecters" currently sitting in state prisons or local jails back home.

I've been trying to explain to Zachary Patel6 that what's special to her isn't special to anyone else. If that guy she likes gets caught by a transit officer on the subway, he won't be special anymore; he'll just be another jerk without a ticket. But if you fall in love with a subway conductor, he’ll be the most special person in the world to you.🙂

Though, I guess that was already explained in The Little Prince. Please read it. 🤣

Zachary Patel6 said:Listen, 😍 I’m telling you right now—we clearly have different definitions of what makes someone "special." I don't think someone is unique just because they study a language or because they're into heavy metal 😁 If I used your logic, everyone would be special, and frankly, I don't think they are. I believe people who are truly exceptional are either born that way or evolve into it through life—it's certainly not about signing up for a Japanese class, lol. Or developing schizophrenia—like how Donna Wood52 mentioned Einstein. You might ask her what made him so special, but everyone has a "thing," right? Except, damn it, Einstein actually stood head and shoulders above the rest. I'll throw Einstein out there—even if I don't find him particularly noteworthy—but he was... relatively special 😁 And then there are those who are outliers in every single way (and I know someone like that). Maybe nobody is special to you, and like you said, you're the most unique one of all. But for me, some people really are in a league of their own 😍

True. Einstein, Picasso, Tesla... they exist. But honestly, nobody I went to school with ended up being some kind of genius. For instance, I knew this guy who used to get high and then walk across the window ledge in the middle of math class 😱

But today? He’s employed, married, has two kids, and is paying off a mortgage. Just another regular American citizen. He had a more turbulent puberty than most, and luckily, he made it out. Then there are those special types who end up on heroin by age 30 😢

I guess I’d love to be special. To write like, say, Hemingway or Bulgakov or Babel. But unfortunately, I work for a paycheck, and my passion for typing mostly happens online. Just like about 680,000 other women my age in America 😢

Though, at 16, I really was special. Every guy who was ever into me could tell you that, and there were plenty of them 😁

Zachary Patel6 said:Look, you and I simply have different definitions of what makes someone "special." I'm not talking about the crowd who consciously joins a subculture just to feel different from the pack. I mean people who align with groups 😁 like punks or those bohemians you mentioned. To me, a special person is someone truly singular—someone who isn't trying to be anything other than themselves, whereas most people spend their whole lives trying to be something else. Special people are the ones who, if everyone else is doing something stupid, won't follow the herd just to fit in; they'll do the right thing because they actually have the guts to do so—they aren't afraid of judgment and they stay true to their principles. Those are the individuals I consider special.

But honestly, I was actually talking about someone who is fundamentally more unique than everyone else in every way—humor, kindness, intellect, looks, etc. I've encountered such a person in my life; perhaps some haven't, so they can't grasp it. Or maybe they just don't want to admit someone like that exists. Of course, this "special" person has flaws once you get to know them better, but the truth is they somehow "stand out" from the crowd even while remaining almost inconspicuous. It’s a strange thing to describe. Perhaps everything I’m writing is just the result of my fascination with one specific person. 😬

I’d definitely call them someone worth respecting. I try to live by that principle myself, though I don't always pull it off. Honestly, I don't know a single person—not one—who manages to get it right every time. I guess we’re just stuck living in a society where you're forced to step on your own principles sometimes, just to fit in.

To Boldano: I guess I think you've fallen in love too. 😉

That’s just how being in love works. You end up seeing one person as someone who completely stands out from the crowd—the only one that matters. I guess that's just how it's supposed to be. 🙂

Roger Smith5 said:The fundamental truth is that I simply desire to be myself; if people choose to laugh, let them, for I am perfectly content in my own skin... there is an old adage that says: "No wise man has escaped being mocked!"...

It has never been an issue for me to ask someone, "May I lend you a hand?"... or perhaps helping an elderly lady carry her groceries from the end of the block... while others hesitate out of shyness or social anxiety, I will step up and chop wood for my neighbors whenever I see they are working... one must simply press forward with optimism 😉....
When I clear the snow from my driveway, I find myself clearing half the street as well 🙂
There is truly nothing more beautiful than witnessing people willing to help one another; in that same spirit, my friends used to come over to help me out, and we would spend our time laughing and joking around together... treating one another to good times...

I never felt any guilt about taking some of the spirits from the house; my father would make ten liters of Cherry liqueur (even though he rarely drinks)... so I would grab some and head outside to share it with the community

I have always lived by my own cinematic vision, dressing according to my own style, practicing kung fu moves, and chasing those adrenaline kicks... filming videos, playing music on the street where I sing and my friend plays... even walking barefoot through the snow just for the thrill of it...
Public displays of affection... everything, really... I have intentionally challenged professors when I knew I was right, and I always insist on injecting my own perspective and unique flair into seminars, staying true to my own way of doing things

To me, that just means you're healthy, sane, and actually using your youth properly—figuring out what you want to do, how you think, and how you feel, then learning how to express all that👍

It’s a million times better than just rotting away in a loop of home-school-video games

Zachary Patel6 said:Oh, please, Jerry Martinez5—why does it bother you so much when someone actually *is* special? It just sounds like you're trying too hard to be the most unique person in the room. It's tough for some people to admit someone else might be different. Or maybe you just haven't met anyone truly extraordinary yet. 😉

In my view, the people who actually stand out aren't doing it on purpose—it's quite the opposite. They simply remain themselves while everyone else is busy desperately trying to be something they're not.

Listen. I don't consider any of my friends to be average. Every single one of them has a few traits that set them apart. For instance, one friend is unique because she's learning Japanese. Is that a "special" person to you?

And honestly, how many people in the world are actually learning Japanese?

Or take someone who's weird because they walk down the street talking to themselves. How is that even special? In any decent-sized US city, you'll find at least 50 people doing that.

When I'm in a crowd, say at a Metallica concert, an old lady wearing a fancy hat would seem pretty special to me. But if I'm at church at 8 AM, seeing some heavy metal fan in leather gear kneeling and praying might actually seem unique.

It’s really just about how, when people are growing up—let's say until they hit 25—they have this intense craving to feel special. It's part of building an identity, I guess. Nobody wants to look or act exactly like their parents, or their principal, or the guy working at the local grocery store. Everyone thinks they are special
.
In those years, wanting to be different is just natural. Whether it's through crazy hairstyles, clothes, reading books you think nobody else has discovered, or listening to music that isn't played by everyone at your high school...

hiddenhawk3 said:Bozo, that's a pretty dumb example. Imagine someone not going for coffee in college 🙄 with a group that barely tolerates them, or at work. I only bother greeting people I'm actually close to or who are okay; everyone else, I guess I just ignore. 😬

Right, which is exactly why I brought it up. 😉

Didn't you read that Donna Wood52 was talking about some weird guy who didn't talk to anyone back in fourth grade?

It's the same logic restlessbison4 is using: I guess you're just weird if you don't follow the NFL or whatever?

hollowraven3 said:I wouldn't say she actually took a definitive stance; she didn't have to. He’s been in the picture much longer than I have. That’s a whole different story because I’m convinced their connection is driven more by sheer habit than anything else—it's mostly fear. It isn't easy to walk away from someone you grew up alongside, especially when they have so much more life experience than you do. She has told me a million times that what they have just isn't right. Honestly, it probably wouldn't have lasted this long if there wasn't always a "stopgap" to bridge the gaps; in this case, that's me, and I don't mind that one bit. I would never dream of telling her she needs to end it, but I know her well enough to see she isn't happy.
This isn't about family dynamics, I can tell you that much. I never said, nor did I ever think, that I wasn't good enough for her! I'm just not sure if I actually want this!

Look, you spend all day with her, and you already admitted you're into her. But now you're suddenly unsure? What's the catch? Are you maybe questioning your orientation, or is it something else?

Or maybe you don't even actually like her?

Jamie Davis9 said:You’ve essentially recounted my entire life story here. The most profound connection I have ever experienced was purely platonic, and it was devastatingly intense for both of us, lasting for years.
Could you please elaborate a bit more on how the family dynamic plays into this?

Look, I'm just winging it here. I'm no expert. I basically viewed those experiences as part of my own journey toward finally accepting my sexuality. Back when I couldn't deal with that, keeping things strictly platonic worked for me. Since the guys I was seeing weren't in relationships at the time, I guess I was effectively their "only one."

When it comes to why this topic even started, the situation is different. The girl has a boyfriend, and he seemingly doesn't care. Sure. That’s where the relationship with the father comes in. I mean, why does the guy initiating this think he isn't good enough to actually be her boyfriend?

hollowraven3 said:How exactly do you think timing played a role here?
I’m hesitant to take that leap, not just because I’d risk ruining—or at least seriously damaging—our friendship, but because I honestly don't know if my heart is truly in it. I suspect the issue is simply that we spend way too much time together. Between our morning commitments and going out nearly every single night (it’s usually just the two of us, though friends jump in occasionally; I can count on one hand the number of times I've been out without her), we are constantly inseparable. We even end up sharing a room or a bed, all the time. I don't know about anyone else, but if it were anyone else, I would have grown bored ages ago. With her, it's the opposite—I always have a blast. Even when I happen to go out with someone else, I find myself missing her. It isn't that she bothers me; rather, it scares me. I've started subconsciously nitpicking small, trivial things, hoping it might give me an excuse to pull away, when the truth is, I don't actually want to.

The choice to end it is entirely yours—you realize that, right?

No, I'm not pushing you to break it off. I mean, a connection like this can be beautiful. Personally, I ended both of mine once I realized the pain of the relationship not being "realized" was becoming greater than the actual joy of spending time together. I simply wanted more, and I walked away when it became clear that I wasn't going to get it anymore. It took me a couple of years to get there, though. Looking back, I'm glad I went through it. 🙂

Ultimately, you're the one deciding. She's already made her stance clear by having a boyfriend. You mean a lot to her, I'm certain of that, because these kinds of connections are incredibly intense. But she doesn't care enough to leave her boyfriend for you. While you might be able to handle this, you two will likely just stay stuck in this exact kind of dynamic.

Maybe look at it as a privilege: platonic relationships are often much more emotionally intimate. You experience things you probably wouldn't be able to in a "standard" relationship right now. Of course, you don't get the perks of a full relationship (and by "full," I mean sexually realized; your connection is perfectly real even without the sex).

Yeah, I’ve been in those kinds of relationships before, and frankly, they drove me insane. Eventually, I just decided to let it all go down the drain. 😉

Basically: I don't care. I stop reaching out entirely. There are usually three ways this plays out:
- You just never hear from or see that person again.
- After a while, they realize what happened and actually call you... then maybe, eventually, you find some kind of balance. (Though it rarely works immediately: one phone call means nothing if all the effort ends up back on your shoulders.)
- They call you after a long silence just to lecture you, saying, "Why haven't you called me lately?" I tend to cut people like that out pretty quickly. 😈

At the end of the day, these are power struggles. It has very little to do with actual friendship.

Donna Wood52 said:Hmm... well, for the people who are actually told they're "special," they usually don't even want to admit it—they won't show it. I knew this guy back in high school—we were in the same grade for four years—and he didn't talk to a single soul. Every teenager thinks they're unique during puberty, but look—if you spend four years in the same class with thirty other kids and don't say a word to anyone the entire time, obviously you're going to be different from the rest. It's not about being better; you're just different. Naturally, then people label you a "psycho" or a freak, but that doesn't actually mean anything.

In my book, truly special people are someone like Einstein (pure brilliance), or Dr. Hannibal Lecter—he had that specific kind of charisma, a sharp mind, and let's be honest, he was good-looking too! 😁

Donna Wood52, that's exactly why I said it: it's a matter of age. In late elementary or high school, if someone is overweight, wears glasses, stutters, or has big ears... if there's any trait that sets them apart from the crowd, that environment treats them as "weird."

It’s not like that later on. In college, I studied with people who didn't just skip social outings, they barely even acknowledged their classmates. It's the same at work now. But as you get older, it isn't seen as weird anymore. You just realize there are all kinds of people out there.

Though, in small towns, those types probably carry the "weirdo" label forever. If they live in a major city, though, not so much.

For example, when I was in high school, I thought I was part of the "weird" crowd. It was a bit of a shock when I started college and realized I wasn't actually special—suddenly I was surrounded by hundreds of other "special" people who listen to the same weird music and act and dress weirdly too. 🙂

Yeah, restlessbison4. In certain parts of America, you're actually considered special just for buckling your seatbelt, not spitting out the window, and saying "please," "thank you," and "have a nice day."

But that's a whole different conversation.

Honestly, it's probably best to just ignore it. Just find your own crowd—people who share your interests, whatever those may be.