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Posts by Jerry Martinez5

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Ed Gein sentenced in Psychology ·
dustyskipper3 said:Well, since we have all shared our thoughts on the subject without actually getting any closer to a real answer, I suppose it might be best to summarize things here. It seems to me that there are really just two kinds of people participating in this thread:

I guess for those who are actually interested in the truth behind the Jeffrey Dahmer case—specifically what was going on inside his head, the psychological state of everyone around him, and what this says about an American society that seems to tolerate such horrors right under its nose until they become too obvious to ignore—there might be some lessons here. I mean, we have cases like Natasha Kampush where it feels almost impossible that neighbors, or even her own mother, weren't aware of something being wrong. It’s a heavy thought. If we want to find answers that are actually useful for ourselves, and really for humanity as a whole, we probably need to look deeper into how these things slip through the cracks. Maybe there is something there to learn, I suppose.

I guess there are those people... those who feel that eliminating someone like Jeffrey Dahmer with a bullet, or perhaps through some other means entirely, might actually solve the core issue. They seem to think that by doing so, they could finally settle the matter and, I suppose, quiet their own consciences. Maybe.

As someone who considers themselves a rational individual engaged in intellectual pursuits, I find myself leaning toward the first option. I suppose I can see why a certain type of "practitioner" might favor the second approach, if that's how they see things. But, well, let's look at history—if we really examine what those kinds of practitioners have actually achieved throughout the years.

In the realm of history and high-stakes politics, I suppose there isn't much room left for love; it seems to be nothing more than cold reason and self-interest. Enemies are typically just eliminated or assimilated—much like how they handle things in Star Trek, I guess. We are the Borg... and I suppose you'll just be assimilated. It almost looks like some sort of caricature, doesn't it? But then again, I guess that's just how real politics often plays out. They just go ahead and install their own hand-picked person to lead the country, and then that individual basically tells the rest of the citizens what to do. It's all very strange, I suppose. I-am-Locutus-the-Borg...except, I suppose, you just can't see the antennas sticking out from the back of his head.

There are exceptions to the rule, I suppose. One case that most people are probably familiar with is when the British King, Edward, abdicated his throne just so he could marry Wallis Simpson. Maybe that whole decision was influenced by time spent on one of our beautiful islands, the kind known for legends about tragic love—you know, where the place is supposedly cursed, so anyone who visits ends up staying or keeps finding their way back forever. Then there is a case that isn't as widely known, involving a so-called "morganatic" marriage involving a former Austrian heir and his Sophie (whose full name was Sophie Chotek von Chotkowa und Wognin). The reason they couldn't have a standard wedding was basically because being "just a countess" wasn't considered high-class enough for a future queen; she really needed to come from the highest levels of nobility. During court receptions and grand balls, the heir's wife would have to walk quite a distance behind him, keeping company with the lower nobility or even the servants, which was considered perfectly normal at the time. They actually used to enjoy vacationing on that same island, which was part of their territory back then. Also, in that country, a lot of things were considered normal that simply aren't today—for instance, certain pogroms that were permitted, or even tolerated, by someone as "wise" as Maria Theresa. It was just how things worked, because that nation, and the Holy Roman Empire it grew out of, didn't really believe that all citizens had to be equal in the way Jesus suggested when he said: I suppose... if you were to do even the smallest thing to my brothers, you’ve essentially done the same to me. I mean, that's just how it works, I guess..

And so, I suppose, that nation just rotted away from the inside out. Every single attempt to save it... well, they all seemed quite futile in the end. It collapsed under its own massive weight and supposed sanctity. Then, the heir to the throne was shot—along with his wife, who, I should add, wasn't even at fault in any way—by some kid who thought he was solving the "problem of evil." They went down in history as losers, I guess. Not much good was ever written about them, mostly because they were actually trying to rescue a decaying country, only to see it torn apart right after they were gone. I suppose... I mean, if one were to consider the concept of national dwarfs... It's a bit of an odd thought, isn't it? Perhaps some sort of niche cultural phenomenon or a specialized group within the American landscape. I don't quite know how to frame it properly. Maybe it's just a curious way of looking at things. I guess it's worth pondering, though.It was quite a disorganized mess, really... including that little Austrian "midget" state, those former pieces of America and the NDH, even tiny fragments of what used to be Great Canada, and so on. In this new little Austrian entity, little Adolf was born to Mrs. Schikelgruber, who would eventually decide... To strike back. I suppose... if one feels it is necessary. It’s a complicated thing, really. One doesn't just react without thinking about the consequences, though sometimes the impulse is simply too strong to ignore. Maybe there is a right way to handle it, or maybe there isn't. I guess it depends on the situation.It’s very much in the vein of Spielberg’s later take on Darth Vader—who was probably an inspiration for this, I suppose—and as a sort of indirect consequence of all that, much later on, we end up with a case like Jeffrey Dahmer. It's like a stray grenade that just sits there, exploding decades after it was actually thrown. I guess it reminds me of how people here still talk about landmines lurking under fields that were supposedly cleared long ago from old wars. And it feels particularly relevant today, as our national little players are once again coalescing into some new big shot who still needs to establish his own set of rules. But then again, if history has taught us anything at all, things like pogroms and discrimination really ought to be a thing of the past by now. Maybe.

I I suppose there are still people today who think just like Gavrilo Princip and operate under that same kind of logic. Princip—the bullet. And even now, they have their own monuments, much like how Princip had his monument and museum back in Ottawa, right by the river. When I was very young, someone took me there and said, Look, they actually put up a monument to a killer here. That man is long gone now, after enduring those intense prison interrogations and all that government harassment, and the monument itself is gone too—it was torn down by people who I guess truly believed in Gavrilo’s principle.

Nations might vanish, but a principle... well, it stays.

You didn't need to dig that far back. We had our own massacre in 1991 that Europe basically ignored, followed by a "minor" one in 1995 that's now being used to try and convict three guys in The Hague... we live in a culture that justifies mass atrocities, yet loves to play moral high ground over individual cases. Someone like Jeffrey Dahmer is just a perfect scapegoat for the rest of us to point at and sigh with relief: Whew, at least I'm normal; I could never do something like that. Just give him a bullet to the head, and then reality will be back to that idyllic version I prefer to imagine.
Ed Gein sentenced in Psychology ·
hiddenhound3 said:
Jerry Martinez5 As stated by:
I haven't had the opportunity to read through all the various articles regarding Jeffrey Dahmer, but even before I delved into this specific thread, one central question remained on my mind: what happened to the mother? It seems fundamentally impossible to accept the narrative that she was entirely oblivious to the situation. One has to wonder about the neighbors or the extended family; surely someone must have been investigated for complicity or at least for turning a blind eye to what was happening under their own roof.

That is precisely what I consider to be the central enigma of the entire situation. According to one of the articles, Jeffrey Dahmer claimed that his daughter had simply left home to join some sort of cult.
It is truly remarkable that a mother and her four siblings could go twenty-four years without once reaching out to check on their own daughter—their own sister. If I didn't have someone in my immediate inner circle who lived through a nearly identical situation, I would find such a thing utterly shocking. However, since this isn't an isolated case for me, I am forced to reach a rather blunt conclusion: the entire family is psychologically dysfunctional.

Article

I don't think that's even questionable. Your son is an addict, yet you act like everything is perfectly fine. Give me a break. 🙄

The harder question is the level of dysfunction. What counts as the most severe mental illness? I have no clue. Schizophrenia? I know two people with that diagnosis, and they're perfectly lovely people.

But if I'm being blunt: being married to an alcoholic. People always say, "Well, everyone carries their own cross," which is what one specific woman I know always says. Suddenly, the husband is the villain and she's the saint. Except the husband is also abusing the kids. So, who is responsible for the abuse? In my opinion, it's her, the husband, and the whole extended family. Because once you start digging, you usually find out her mother thinks getting a divorce is a much bigger sin than daily child abuse. 👎

We saw it with the Korade case. Now his son is following the exact same path. Is the younger Korade a worse criminal? No, he's a victim of the system. A system that is well aware of the consequences of PTSD, yet they handed out pensions and medals while leaving families completely unprotected. (I apologize to anyone suffering from PTSD; I'm not blaming them. They are victims too, terrible victims.)
Ed Gein sentenced in Psychology ·
I haven't combed through every single one of these posts about Jeffrey Dahmer, but even before diving into this thread, I had one major question: what happened to the mother? How can anyone actually buy into the version where "she had no idea"? What about the neighbors or the relatives? Is it really possible that not a single soul was even investigated for being an accomplice?

While the crime itself is as revolting as it gets, I suppose I agree with everyone here saying that Jeffrey Dahmer couldn't have acted in total isolation. He’s just one more link in a long chain of abuse—basically a symptom of a broken society. You don't fix things by just removing one criminal; you have to examine the root cause. But seriously, how is any of this even possible?
Ed Gein sentenced in Psychology ·

Please keep the discussion going, but let's try to ditch the personal attacks.
Do our own desires actually make us unhappy? in Psychology ·
Nicole Davis7 said:Does anyone else here ever catch themselves spiraling because of some unfulfilled dream from way back? I’m talking about the stuff that haunts you—maybe it was a degree you never finished, a career path you walked away from, a relationship that just didn't work out, or just some random life plan that fell apart. It’s so strange because, honestly, my life right now isn't bad at all. There isn't even any guarantee that if those things had actually happened, my life would be better today. Do you ever feel like these lingering desires are just pure frustration? Like, part of you wishes you could just turn them off so you wouldn't feel like you're missing out on something you never even had? If you don't deal with this kind of mental loop, you are truly lucky. 😁.

Can you be specific about what's bothering you?

For example, I realized lately that I'm still hung up on a few exes. It’s ridiculous, really. I have a guy, and those chapters are closed. But I realized I'm still mourning the fact that those relationships didn't play out the way I wanted. It's clearly draining my energy right now.

And don't even get me started on unfulfilled plans. Sure, my life is fine. But the reality is there were important goals I missed—or more importantly, I just didn't put in the work. I'm pretty sure working toward them would have felt much more fulfilling.

It's the same for you, too: if I could surgically remove these desires, I'd probably be a lot happier. But, well, I can't. 🙂

It sounds like you're dealing with that "unhappy socialite" dilemma. She has everything, and everyone envies her. But she doesn't actually want the money; she wants to ride off into the sunset on a horse. I suppose the only way to be truly happy—or close to it—is to live according to your own desires, rather than trying to comfort yourself by pretending you're satisfied just because you meet society's standards of success. It's a tough one: figuring out what you actually want and then actually doing something about it.
How long did I actually feel happy today? in Psychology ·
I guess everyone needs to think for themselves. When does this actually happen for you? Just think about it.

For instance, I feel incredibly good early in the morning sometimes. Especially if the sun is out. 🎉
So, I've learned to always get up quite early. That way, I have enough time to just drink my coffee and be alone with my thoughts. If I oversleep and end up rushing somewhere, I know I won't feel totally wiped out.

Or when I'm just walking through the city with zero obligations. On my days off, I'll just dance to some music (instead of just typing away on this forum 😁).

In that moment, I really value my life...

In what moment? It's when you clear your head of everything weighing you down, right? You just detach from it all. 🙂
How long did I actually feel happy today? in Psychology ·
Even in those moments when my mind goes totally blank, when I’m just completely locked into the here and now.

I just feel this sudden surge of joy simply because I’m alive. It’s almost overwhelming.

But then, maybe thirty minutes later, I’m right back to feeling miserable about some global crisis or famine in Africa. 🙄
How long did I actually feel happy today? in Psychology ·
Get some practice in, just like mistybison says. 😉

Try to figure out what’s actually triggering that feeling. In what specific situations does it happen? I mean, there's really no point in shaving three times a day. 😁

I never could quite "hold" him. But I guess I’m getting better at just relaxing and enjoying the ride, so maybe things last a little longer now.

Questions to ask: What actually brings me joy? What am I truly craving right now? How am I feeling—honestly, in this exact moment?

Saturday is probably the perfect day for that. 👋
Abuse or just being intense...? in Psychology ·
So, school and a degree aren't useful? I guess they wouldn't be if you were stranded on some deserted island. But in today's society, they definitely are. They basically guarantee a better paycheck and decent working conditions. Plus, they give you a much better shot at picking a lifestyle and a career path that isn't filled with "mediocrity," or at least one that actually fits your own taste 👍
Abuse or just being intense...? in Psychology ·
Is she literally "too far away" (like, living in a different city) or are you just not close enough to her yet?

You could always ask her friend why she isn't showing up to school. It’s a perfectly normal thing to be curious about, and it doesn't have to be some big gossip session. Honestly, her answer might even reveal something where you could actually step in and help.

Who knows why she's acting this way.
Maybe she’s just dealing with a massive crush.
Maybe her parent got sick, and she's busy taking care of the family.
Maybe puberty hit her late—hard—and she's just struggling to cope.
Or maybe it's actual depression, even if there's no obvious trauma involved.
Abuse or just being intense...? in Psychology ·
hm....what if you just asked her to hang out outside once? or maybe grab coffee a few times?

There are plenty of reasons why she might be going through this; I guess you can't just jump to conclusions. My biggest issue here is that she isn't showing up to class. Does she have a close friend in her grade? Maybe you could talk to her about it. Not to gossip, obviously, but perhaps you two could go see her together and try to get her back to school.
How long did I actually feel happy today? in Psychology ·
Not today, thanks for the reminder 🙂

But I was yesterday. Walking through downtown. A sudden burst of joy, I guess 🙂
Jason Sanchez3 said:That's exactly my point. If you're making less than $3,000 a month, there aren't many places to go... It's fine if he gets married, but how is someone supposed to cover rent or a car payment when they're barely scraping by for groceries and utilities?

He's got money, sure, but he's lucky. Honestly, anyone would stay put if they had a mom as amazing as his...

Exactly. If someone is pulling in $1000, it’s pretty obvious they aren't ironing their own shirts; they just let Mom handle it.

😵

He probably has enough for $67 an iron and $33 monthly electric bills, but why bother paying for either when Mom is such a "saint"?

And if Mom is doing the cooking, cleaning, laundry, and everything else for her 27-year-old "baby"—and maybe even tossing him a few bucks here and there—it’s no surprise the kid treats her like garbage. Why wouldn't he? He gets away with everything.

Based on this, the mom sounds incredibly possessive. Not exactly a glowing review.

hiddenhawk3 said:I don't see the point in judging people like that... someone's 27 and living with their parents. Not everyone starts out with the same deck of cards, the same jobs, or the same income. I guess there isn't really one universal rule for how long you're supposed to stay at home.😢

I guess I agree. You can't really act surprised when people start acting crazy in other areas, too.

I mean, unemployment is through the roof, we’re living in tiny towns, and yet everyone feels the need to own the latest iPhone and a massive Samsung TV. It's no wonder people are still living with their parents well into their 40s. I guess that's just how it works now. 🤣
Jason Sanchez3 said:Yeah, everything is being handled wrong......
And nobody wants to actually talk about it, even though he gets worse by the day..
He can get away with anything... there are zero consequences...
No tough love...
Just constant enabling in hopes that things will magically improve.

It's wild, but he gets this special royal treatment specifically because of how he acts, mostly because his mom clings to those rare moments when he's actually being normal.

Oh, and he's 27 now.

He’s 27 and still living at home? That’s just wrong, diagnosis or not. And honestly, it isn't just him being unstable—it's his mother and everyone else in that house who has to deal with it.

The first step would be politely telling him he needs to move out. Then, maybe, next time he visits, you just show him the door the second he makes a scene.
Just tell me what exactly was such a huge headache about trying to connect with those family friends
Could you just rewrite the question from scratch? Keep it to two sentences.

I mean, I don't really get why you're even asking. Obviously, you can't flirt with your boyfriend in front of his parents the same way you would if they weren't there.

Explain yourself. What exactly do you think the issue is?
James Allen6 said:I suppose we can manage who we choose to love, much like any other aspect of our lives, provided we have already fallen for someone and subsequently realized we want something deeper than just a crush.
Choosing who to fall in love with... hmm... not really. If I had been able to make that choice, I probably would have saved myself a lot of trouble and simply picked the right one from the start.

So how exactly would you choose "the one"? What's your definition? Who actually fits that description, where do they hang out, and do you even run in those circles? If not, why not?
I’ve gone looking for love on purpose a few times. I just realized I needed that spark, so I looked around, pointed a finger, and went, "That’s the one."

But then there were those times where the guy was the one head over heels, and I wanted to be with him, but things just wouldn't click. There was also that one relationship that just couldn't work—even though I still think he's a great person and we're friends today.🙂

I guess we all define things differently. The only thing we don't get to choose is when that "chemistry" hits us out of nowhere. But even then, we still decide whether to walk away, dive into an adventure, or try to build something lasting from it.
John Cruz4 said:I was inclined to agree with that sentiment myself! Or rather, I thought so at first glance. However, I must disagree; he has delved far too deeply into this obsession, becoming quite lost in the weeds! That is precisely why his perspective seems so irrational.
Furthermore, one does not typically begin experiencing puberty at the age of nine, does one?

It isn't crazy. Just name a few bands he actually listens to. I bet he isn't exactly vibing to Taylor Swift or Justin Bieber.😁