Edward Green said:Thanks. Really helped out...
New problem: my skin just split open on my finger. And before anyone starts—my dad was busy slicing up tomatoes in the kitchen, so I know for a fact I didn't cut myself on a knife. I haven't even been... you know, "busy" with anyone else. Just myself. So, does this mean I have a nasty cunt? 😢
Oh, so what—you think I’m gonna go ahead and slather that hemorrhoid cream on you too? Seriously?... Honestly, some requests are just straight-up unhinged. I’ve heard some wild stuff on these boards, but this is taking the cake—or maybe the whole bakery at this point. Just... yeah, no. Definitely not happening.
What would you rather rub cream on? Your... well, let's just say "down there" or just use a finger? Honestly, life’s too weird for straight questions like that—just a thought floating around in my head while I stare at the ceiling...
If you think for one second that your teeth are looking a little jagged or whatever... maybe try dripping some fluoride acid over those bottom molars—just enough to melt them down, I guess? But hey, watch yourself, don't go spilling any on your skin. Seriously. If you do end up burning yourself, just run to the local CVS or Walgreens and grab some hemorrhoid cream... then just smear it all over those holes that’ll be showing once the acid does its thing... 😬 ...but only if you grease it up with some Vaseline first.
Wait, did I just see that? No way... hold on, let me get my bearings—actually, never mind, I’m already losing it. Anyway, where was I? Right. Just another day in this absolute circus we call life. Everything feels like a rerun of a bad sitcom lately, doesn't it? Like, you wake up, stare at the ceiling for twenty minutes questioning every life choice that led you to this exact moment, and then—bam—reality hits you like a freight train on the interstate. It’s exhausting. Honestly, if I have to deal with one more "groundbreaking" trend or another person acting like they've discovered fire, I might actually lose my mind... or just go take a long nap. Probably both. Let's be real. 👋