Posts by Nicholas Gonzalez8

I’m right there with Michelle Evans on this one. Look, you did what you did—it’s done, it’s over, and you just have to own it and move the hell on. Maybe it was a mistake, maybe it wasn't, but honestly? What’s the point in obsessing over it now? If you spend all your energy mourning the past, you’re going to trip over the present, and the present is the only thing actually building your future.

Listen, those dark moods—they’re going to hit you. It’s inevitable. You can’t predict when they’ll show up, but you can sure as hell be ready for them. Whatever you do, never, and I mean *never*, make any life-altering decisions when you're feeling low. Those decisions are usually totally irrational—we're talking "jumping off a skyscraper" levels of irrational. Just sleep on it. Seriously. Always sleep on it and look at the situation again in the morning light. When the gloom sets in, just try to find something—anything—to relax or lift your spirits.

Don't let those negative thoughts take root, because that’s exactly how those bad moods start feeding themselves. And don't bother trying to fight them head-on or block them out; that’s a losing battle every single time. Instead, just pivot. Force your brain to focus on something that actually makes you happy—good memories, something you enjoy dreaming about, whatever works. Throw yourself into stuff that feels good—cranking up some music, catching a movie, grabbing coffee with a close friend, hitting the gym, or just getting lost in a hobby. Even hanging out with your dog or spending time with family can pull you back from the edge.

Before you even think about letting someone back into your life, walk through the scenarios in your head. Think about how you’d react if things went sideways. Having a bit of a game plan will make you feel way more secure and steady. Just... please, don't get caught up in chasing ghosts from your past. There is zero payoff in that.

As for the guilt—look, people do all kinds of things throughout their lives. Some good, some pretty messy. You acted based on what you knew and what you were capable of handling at that exact moment, so there’s no reason to beat yourself up about it now. We always look back and think, "Man, I should have been smarter," but that's just how life works. We learn from the mess, and that's how we get smarter.

Anyway, I'm rooting for you. Just keep your head up and keep moving forward—you're going to be just fine. 🙂 If you ever need to vent or just talk, my inbox is open.

crimsonharbor2 said:Honestly, I’ve been dealing with this since I was a kid, and eventually, I just became numb to everything. For as long as I can remember, there's been this underlying sense of depression and dissatisfaction. Nothing was ever enough for me—I always wanted more. More from my parents, more from my relationships, more from my career. I never struggled in school; I was always an honors student, and I fit in easily with people. In social settings, I’m talkative, open, and make friends effortlessly. I don't come across as shy at all. But killing that part of myself is exhausting. I have zero energy left to maintain friendships or even to care about anything. It’s been going on for years. Throughout high school, I tried to fill this void with constant partying, drinking, and just being rebellious in general. There were times when this dissatisfaction got so heavy that I actually attempted suicide or turned to self-harm... but nothing worked. Over time, the emptiness just grew. Now, in my early twenties, I feel completely hollow. No matter what happens to me, I don't care. I don't get upset about anything. I’m just phlegmatic, and that detachment is becoming even more depressing 🤷 I've also lost my fear of things that are clearly dangerous because I'm just waiting for something bad to happen. I want to feel alive so badly that I just push myself toward extremes.
I'm torn on whether I should start therapy or not. I honestly don't know what anyone could even say to me, because looking back at what I wrote, it might not sound like much of a "problem," but believe me—it is. Maybe I should have gone into more detail, but I think the core of it is clear.
Also, I’m not the type of person who can handle help from others. I’d do absolutely anything for someone else, but I hate it when people try to do things for me. Having to rely on others makes me incredibly uncomfortable, like I'm some kind of burden 🤷
Does anyone else here feel this way? Like it’s just something that never actually goes away...

This kind of thing usually hits people who are heavily wired toward logic. You use that logical brain of yours to solve every little problem, and eventually, you realize there’s just no rational reason left to feel anything. It works fine at first—you're just being efficient—but then one day you wake up and realize the emotional tap has been shut off, and you have no idea how to turn it back on.

I've been exactly where you are, so I really do get what you're going through. The best way to describe it is "emptiness." And let me tell you, that emptiness is way worse than feeling bad. There were times when I actually welcomed a sudden burst of fear or sadness, just because it made me feel *alive* for a second. Most of the time, though? I felt like a damn robot—going through all the motions, doing the work, but feeling zero connection to the fact that I was actually living.

So, how did I claw my way out? I didn't talk to anyone about it—mostly because I’m the type of person who hates asking for help, and I never wanted to hear a word about prescription pills. To me, those things just artificially relax the body to make the dissatisfaction vanish temporarily, which isn't a real fix. My solution came from diving deep into the mechanics of thoughts and emotions. I studied the subject extensively, and I landed on a few key takeaways:

You can actually steer your emotions by forcing your focus onto the present moment—basically building up your awareness instead of letting your mind wander off into "what ifs" about the future or regrets about the past. Once you start noticing your own thought patterns, you can actually pick them and direct them where you want. It’s biological, too—your thoughts trigger the hypothalamus to produce peptides responsible for your emotions and send them straight into your bloodstream. The second you catch yourself spiraling into a negative thought, stop it right there and pivot to something positive. If you want to feel happy, you have to actively hunt for reasons to smile, to feel joy, or to feel grateful. Look for it in the tiny stuff and the big stuff alike.

It also helps to dive into a hobby, hang out with people who aren't total pessimists, or hit the gym—exercise and meditation are scientifically proven to pump out those "feel-good" hormones. Even music can be a lifesaver.

crimsonharbor2 said:Honestly, I’ve been dealing with this since I was a kid, and eventually, I just became numb to everything. For as long as I can remember, there's been this underlying sense of depression and dissatisfaction. Nothing was ever enough for me—I always wanted more. More from my parents, more from my relationships, more from my career. I never struggled in school; I was always an honors student, and I fit in easily with people. In social settings, I’m talkative, open, and make friends effortlessly. I don't come across as shy at all. But killing that part of myself is exhausting. I have zero energy left to maintain friendships or even to care about anything. It’s been going on for years. Throughout high school, I tried to fill this void with constant partying, drinking, and just being rebellious in general. There were times when this dissatisfaction got so heavy that I actually attempted suicide or turned to self-harm... but nothing worked. Over time, the emptiness just grew. Now, in my early twenties, I feel completely hollow. No matter what happens to me, I don't care. I don't get upset about anything. I’m just phlegmatic, and that detachment is becoming even more depressing 🤷 I've also lost my fear of things that are clearly dangerous because I'm just waiting for something bad to happen. I want to feel alive so badly that I just push myself toward extremes.
I'm torn on whether I should start therapy or not. I honestly don't know what anyone could even say to me, because looking back at what I wrote, it might not sound like much of a "problem," but believe me—it is. Maybe I should have gone into more detail, but I think the core of it is clear.
Also, I’m not the type of person who can handle help from others. I’d do absolutely anything for someone else, but I hate it when people try to do things for me. Having to rely on others makes me incredibly uncomfortable, like I'm some kind of burden 🤷
Does anyone else here feel this way? Like it’s just something that never actually goes away...

Like I said before, try looking for things to be grateful for and write them down every single day. Make an effort to actually enjoy a good meal, watching a sunset, the wind, the rain, or just sitting with people you care about. Always be on the lookout for something that sparks a bit of gratitude. That’s how you build up optimism and positive momentum.

You can also try to force a laugh, even when you really don't feel like it. The human brain is actually kind of funny that way—it doesn't really distinguish between a genuine smile and a fake one; it just reacts by releasing a dose of hormones that trigger a sense of satisfaction and happiness.

crimsonharbor2 said:Honestly, I’ve been dealing with this since I was a kid, and eventually, I just became numb to everything. For as long as I can remember, there's been this underlying sense of depression and dissatisfaction. Nothing was ever enough for me—I always wanted more. More from my parents, more from my relationships, more from my career. I never struggled in school; I was always an honors student, and I fit in easily with people. In social settings, I’m talkative, open, and make friends effortlessly. I don't come across as shy at all. But killing that part of myself is exhausting. I have zero energy left to maintain friendships or even to care about anything. It’s been going on for years. Throughout high school, I tried to fill this void with constant partying, drinking, and just being rebellious in general. There were times when this dissatisfaction got so heavy that I actually attempted suicide or turned to self-harm... but nothing worked. Over time, the emptiness just grew. Now, in my early twenties, I feel completely hollow. No matter what happens to me, I don't care. I don't get upset about anything. I’m just phlegmatic, and that detachment is becoming even more depressing 🤷 I've also lost my fear of things that are clearly dangerous because I'm just waiting for something bad to happen. I want to feel alive so badly that I just push myself toward extremes.
I'm torn on whether I should start therapy or not. I honestly don't know what anyone could even say to me, because looking back at what I wrote, it might not sound like much of a "problem," but believe me—it is. Maybe I should have gone into more detail, but I think the core of it is clear.
Also, I’m not the type of person who can handle help from others. I’d do absolutely anything for someone else, but I hate it when people try to do things for me. Having to rely on others makes me incredibly uncomfortable, like I'm some kind of burden 🤷
Does anyone else here feel this way? Like it’s just something that never actually goes away...

Since everything feels draining and you aren't finding joy in anything right now, try starting with whatever catches even a tiny bit of your interest. Just lean into those things as much as you can.
Besides, maybe you're just one of those people who thrives in solitude, which would explain why you lack the will to socialize or keep up with friends. I'm wired that way myself, so I totally get where you're coming from.

crimsonharbor2 said:Honestly, I’ve been dealing with this since I was a kid, and eventually, I just became numb to everything. For as long as I can remember, there's been this underlying sense of depression and dissatisfaction. Nothing was ever enough for me—I always wanted more. More from my parents, more from my relationships, more from my career. I never struggled in school; I was always an honors student, and I fit in easily with people. In social settings, I’m talkative, open, and make friends effortlessly. I don't come across as shy at all. But killing that part of myself is exhausting. I have zero energy left to maintain friendships or even to care about anything. It’s been going on for years. Throughout high school, I tried to fill this void with constant partying, drinking, and just being rebellious in general. There were times when this dissatisfaction got so heavy that I actually attempted suicide or turned to self-harm... but nothing worked. Over time, the emptiness just grew. Now, in my early twenties, I feel completely hollow. No matter what happens to me, I don't care. I don't get upset about anything. I’m just phlegmatic, and that detachment is becoming even more depressing 🤷 I've also lost my fear of things that are clearly dangerous because I'm just waiting for something bad to happen. I want to feel alive so badly that I just push myself toward extremes.
I'm torn on whether I should start therapy or not. I honestly don't know what anyone could even say to me, because looking back at what I wrote, it might not sound like much of a "problem," but believe me—it is. Maybe I should have gone into more detail, but I think the core of it is clear.
Also, I’m not the type of person who can handle help from others. I’d do absolutely anything for someone else, but I hate it when people try to do things for me. Having to rely on others makes me incredibly uncomfortable, like I'm some kind of burden 🤷
Does anyone else here feel this way? Like it’s just something that never actually goes away...

First off, don't do stupid stuff like that. You might not be happy right now, but you're clearly an intelligent person. Use some logic and look at the different paths available to pull yourself out of this hole. Science basically suggests it takes about 22 days of repeating new thoughts, emotions, or actions to start breaking down old habits and forming new ones. Every day you keep at it, those new patterns get stronger. So, pick something smart and commit to doing it daily. You have to stay the course—three or five days isn't nearly enough to undo what you've spent years building.

I’d suggest looking up "self-motivation" and "self-discipline." That kind of knowledge could be a massive help. Honestly, books and movies centered around spiritual or psychological themes can be pretty therapeutic too. Always go hunting for knowledge; it’s the bedrock of making progress.

Work on building that discipline. Go to bed and wake up at the same time every day, hit the gym, set a daily schedule, and give yourself a little reward when you check things off your list. Sometimes taking that first step is brutal, but it pays off, and eventually, it gets easier and you start feeling better.

crimsonharbor2 said:Honestly, I’ve been dealing with this since I was a kid, and eventually, I just became numb to everything. For as long as I can remember, there's been this underlying sense of depression and dissatisfaction. Nothing was ever enough for me—I always wanted more. More from my parents, more from my relationships, more from my career. I never struggled in school; I was always an honors student, and I fit in easily with people. In social settings, I’m talkative, open, and make friends effortlessly. I don't come across as shy at all. But killing that part of myself is exhausting. I have zero energy left to maintain friendships or even to care about anything. It’s been going on for years. Throughout high school, I tried to fill this void with constant partying, drinking, and just being rebellious in general. There were times when this dissatisfaction got so heavy that I actually attempted suicide or turned to self-harm... but nothing worked. Over time, the emptiness just grew. Now, in my early twenties, I feel completely hollow. No matter what happens to me, I don't care. I don't get upset about anything. I’m just phlegmatic, and that detachment is becoming even more depressing 🤷 I've also lost my fear of things that are clearly dangerous because I'm just waiting for something bad to happen. I want to feel alive so badly that I just push myself toward extremes.
I'm torn on whether I should start therapy or not. I honestly don't know what anyone could even say to me, because looking back at what I wrote, it might not sound like much of a "problem," but believe me—it is. Maybe I should have gone into more detail, but I think the core of it is clear.
Also, I’m not the type of person who can handle help from others. I’d do absolutely anything for someone else, but I hate it when people try to do things for me. Having to rely on others makes me incredibly uncomfortable, like I'm some kind of burden 🤷
Does anyone else here feel this way? Like it’s just something that never actually goes away...

Don't rush into therapy just yet. Try following the advice I gave you first. Give yourself another chance over the next year to pull yourself out of this on your own, and actually put in the work to make it happen. Just keep moving, regardless of how you feel or whether you have any motivation. Without persistence, you won't get anywhere, so stay consistent with what you do.

Look, if you find yourself a year down the road still feeling totally stuck and unable to change things on your own—seriously, go find a pro. Get some actual help.

PS: For crying out loud, don't make any massive life decisions when you're riding an emotional high or crashing in a low. It's just bad judgment. Always sleep on it first, then wake up the next day and double-check whether you actually meant what you thought you meant.

I feel like this ties right back into my whole thread, "What do you actually want to be, what do you want to own, and what do you want to do?" In that one, I laid out a few questions that—if you actually sit down and do the work—should help you nail down those answers.

Look, personally, I know exactly what I’m after, but let’s be real—it took me years of trial and error to finally get there.

Look, you've gotta make a call here—either you try to pull him out of this mess, or you just pack up and move in with your old man. If you’re leaning towards stepping in to help, please, for the love of God, do your homework first. You need a game plan that isn't some aggressive, confrontational blowout—something more subtle that pulls his focus away from being glued to the internet. Just don't sit there and pretend nothing is happening, because that kind of avoidance will drive you absolutely insane. Honestly, maybe having them left alone for a bit might actually do them some good—give them a chance to sit with their own thoughts and finally realize what's going on. At least your mother might get it, even if he doesn't.

casualtiger2 said:And just like that, spirituality starts sliding right into the "alternative" lifestyle category. 😢

Look, those two things are deeply intertwined. Honestly, everything is connected. All our little words and definitions? They’re really just us building these imaginary little boxes around different pieces of the exact same reality.

Elizabeth Castillo87 said:Look, we’ve all heard the chatter by now—there are endless studies out there showing that you can actually trigger these intense "spiritual" experiences just by poking at specific centers in the brain. It’s everywhere. You’ve got astronauts floating in the void having these profound moments, people tripping on psychedelics, near-death experiences... it's a whole spectrum of weirdness.
The typical scientific take? They argue that if you can just flip a switch in the brain to make these things happen, then it’s all just neurochemistry. To them, it’s proof there’s nothing "out there," just neurons firing in the dark. Naturally, religious folks look at those kinds of experiments with a massive amount of skepticism.
But honestly? I see it differently. To me, the fact that we can even induce these states suggests we’re sitting on a mountain of knowledge we aren't even aware of—stuff that's buried incredibly deep. If you look at it through the lens of biological evolution, there’s zero survival reason for us to carry around those kinds of heavy, ancient memories, no matter how deep they go.
People who get hit with these induced experiences usually end up totally lost, not knowing what to do with themselves. And let's be real, even when these things hit you out of nowhere, it’s a hell of a thing to process. It isn't easy to carry.
But seriously, since anyone can basically be triggered into this state, how does that prove it's somehow meaningless? How does being able to replicate it mean it doesn't matter?

1. Look, that’s all fine and dandy, but what about the kids who claim to remember past lives? I mean, they're talking about specific languages, cities, jobs, and people they’ve supposedly never even met in this lifetime. How do you explain that?

2. And what about those NDE experiences where people born blind suddenly see everything clearly once they step out of their bodies, and then go on to describe visual details with pinpoint accuracy?

3. Where do you put those Eastern martial arts masters who can redirect chi to endure unexplainable things?

4. Why can't scientists wrap their heads around psychic surgery, even though they've witnessed it? We're talking about a body being opened and operated on using nothing but fingers, and then the wound just... closes up with just hands, leaving no visible scar or skin damage. All this happens while the patient is wide awake, and the results are incredibly effective.

5. How did Edgar Cayce manage to describe lasers and atomic energy in such detail years before we actually built them? Or how could he "read" books just by touching them? Or tell archaeologists the exact location and type of ancient structures buried underground for hundreds of years?

6. How did Bruno Groeining heal thousands of people just by speaking? And what about all the other people out there successfully using methods that defy logic?

7. What about the countless remote viewing tests that have confirmed the phenomenon is real? In fact, the US military has actually used this stuff for intelligence purposes.

8. Think about the woman with X-ray vision, or that guy from the Netherlands who reportedly pierced himself with a sword over 500 times only to heal instantly, or the American who could change his physical appearance like a lizard. And let's not forget the girl who cries crystals.

9. Then you've got those bizarre lightning strikes—like the one that hit a 13-year-old at exactly 13:13 on Friday the 13th.

10. Have you guys even heard of Devil's Footprints, or any of the other freak occurrences out there?

Honestly, how many miracles and examples do I have to list before people realize we're living in a spiritual world, and matter is really just one tiny layer of it?

Look, man, listen to me. Other people can throw some advice your way, and sure, someone might step up to help you out every now and then—that happens. But at the end of the day? Your life is on you. It’s entirely up to you. Every single thought, every emotion, every choice, and every action you take—it all ripples out and shapes the reality you're living in. So, you gotta value every second of it and be damn smart about what you do and how you do it. You've already seen for yourself that making just a few solid decisions can flip the script and bring some real positive changes into your world.

And hey, don't beat yourself up over not having a high school diploma. Seriously. I know plenty of people out there with fancy degrees from places like Harvard or Yale who still can't find a decent job to save their lives. Just keep teaching yourself. Dive deep into learning about life in general, and specifically whatever it is you actually enjoy doing. You've got computer skills, right? Well, try to turn those into cash online. Throw your services out there on freelance sites, or better yet, reach out directly to people who clearly need the help. For instance, find a website that has great content but looks like it was designed in 1995, and offer to fix the layout. At the same time, keep hunting for a steady gig, and once you've scraped some money together, maybe pay for a certification course so you have something official to show for it.

Cut out the smoking and the drugs, and get away from the crowd that's stuck in that lifestyle. Start looking for—and meeting—people who are successful, sharp, and genuinely good human beings. If you run into someone who doesn't fit that mold, don't waste your breath; just keep moving. The people who go looking are the ones who actually find what they're searching for.

Lastly, find something that actually makes you happy. Learn how to enjoy life and be grateful for the little things. People think happiness comes after success, but it's the other way around—happiness is the foundation you build success upon. Since you mentioned you've dabbled in meditation and studying certain topics, you probably get exactly what I'm driving at here.

As for the communication stuff—don't sweat it, just face it head-on. Try to clean yourself up a bit, get out there, and start talking to people. You don't need to walk in there trying to impress them or force a connection right off the bat. The whole point is just to sharpen those social skills and conquer that fear hanging over your head.

Good luck. 🙂

Look, my two cents? Just sit down and hash it out together. When he starts throwing those outbursts, don't bite—just hit him back with calmness, kindness, and some actual heart. It’s honestly pretty tough to maintain any kind of negative vibe when you're constantly surrounded by that much intense positivity.

To me sounds like a completely normal reaction, honestly. If you just don't vibe with certain people—and I mean really click with them—it’s only natural that you wouldn't want to hang out in their circle. It isn't some grand social obligation where his friends have to become your friends, or where everyone is expected to be part of one giant, forced group. That's just not how life works. Don't go blaming being an introvert or just being antisocial for something that's actually just common sense.

steelpanther11 said:Honestly, I’m feeling the exact same way as I did a few weeks ago when I first posted this on the forum. Look, I get it—I know I haven't taken any actual steps yet, and I'm fully aware that nobody on this board is going to step in and force me to do the work for me. But, I don't know... reading some positive comments or having a complete stranger cheer me on actually makes things feel a little lighter? It gives me a spark of motivation, in a way...

It's just the same old cycle, over and over. There are moments where I actually find the energy to move—like when I finally tackled all that university paperwork—but then, boom, I'm right back in bed, sinking into a massive depression and just trying to hide from the rest of the world. I want to change so badly, I really do, but damn... it is just so incredibly hard. Sometimes it feels easier to just be a coward and wallow in self-pity because facing reality is exhausting...

Anyway... the bottom line is that I want to be better. I want to be a high-quality person, someone worth something, but I just can't seem to get moving. It’s like I’ve got literal shackles on my hands and feet, holding me down...

Look, try setting up a daily schedule. Just check things off a list as you go. Treat yourself to something you actually enjoy whenever you knock something out. And if you slip up? Fine, punish yourself by skipping something you like. You'll see—you'll build that discipline before you know it.

Man, why do you guys have to make everything so damn complicated? It’s simple math—you can't have a left without a right, and there’s no up without a down. It works the exact same way with our heads; thoughts and emotions are totally intertwined, constantly feeding into one another. We all carry both, and honestly, the whole point of this life is just trying to find that sweet spot of perfect balance between the two. The only real difference is that some people are hyper-aware of how they feel, while others are more tuned into the logic of their own thinking. But it's a loop—if you're stuck in a negative headspace, those bad vibes are going to follow you everywhere. If you lean into a positive mindset, the good feelings show up too. They're just two sides of the same coin, coming from the exact same source.

Hey!

Look, first off—good on you for reaching out for help. Seriously. It shows you’ve actually got the guts to try and change things instead of just sitting there letting life pass you by. That's step one.

Now, let's talk reality: you need to cut back on the movies and binge-watching series. You're just flushing your life down the drain at this point. If you absolutely have to watch something, make it something educational—and even then, don't overdo it. Get out of bed, too. Just get moving. Physical activity isn't just some cliché advice; it actually triggers those hormones that make you feel less miserable. Go for a walk, go for a run, hit a yoga class, join a dance studio—whatever gets your blood pumping.

Swap the screen time for some music that actually pumps you up. You can listen while you're doing other stuff, so it won't eat up your whole day like a Netflix marathon does. And when it comes to studying? Stop trying to do it in your room where everything is a distraction. Head down to the local public library. It’s quiet, it’s focused, and it keeps all the mindless nonsense away from you. Also, get to campus and focus on finishing that degree. I know, I know—it feels impossible right now, but forget about "waiting for motivation." Motivation is a myth for people who aren't doing anything. Even if you feel like garbage and don't want to go, just show up. Once you actually start moving, the momentum builds itself.

And for heaven's sake, clean your apartment once in a while. It sounds basic, but science backs it up—living in a dump makes you feel like crap. A clean space helps clear the head.

You also need to start talking to people. Walk up to someone, introduce yourself, strike up a conversation. Ask them to grab a coffee. Make new friends in the real world. Sure, you can meet people online first and then transition to hanging out in person, but don't stay stuck behind a screen forever. And look, you're going to get rejected. People will say no. That’s just how life works. Don't let it stop you; keep pushing, and eventually, it'll pay off.

I noticed you mentioned you're living life on "autopilot." That’s a dangerous way to exist. You need to wake up and actually be present in the moment. Meditation might actually help with that. 🙂

Most importantly? Stop lying to yourself. Stop pretending everything is fine when it isn't. Radical acceptance is the only way to actually start solving your problems.

Look, you really have to dig deep and figure out what actually gets your blood pumping. Seriously—don't just sit there. Go out and dive into different subjects, pick up random hobbies, try out weird jobs... just test everything. Once you hit on something that doesn't feel like a chore, that's where you need to double down. It might actually help if you look at my thread, "What do you want to be, have, and do?" I put some decent questions in there that might act as a roadmap for finding those answers.

And honestly? Surround yourself with people who aren't total pessimists—hang out with the optimists. Blast some upbeat music, get lost in a good book, hit the gym, eat actual food instead of junk, maybe try some meditation or whatever—all that stuff makes a massive difference.

Good luck. 🙂

So you’re saying people are boring? Honestly, maybe you just haven't crossed paths with the right crowd yet. Just picture this—someone who actually gets you. Someone where the conversation flows because you share the same interests, the same outlook on life, even the same weird little quirks. It took me forever to find my tribe, too. For me, it was the internet that bridged the gap, though I've definitely met some of these folks in person, too. There's really nothing quite like that feeling when two total strangers just instantly click 🙂

What’s the end game here? Are you actually looking for a relationship—you know, that deep, intense emotional connection—or are you genuinely content just cruising through life solo? Look, we aren't all wired the same way; some people honestly find more peace being on their own, and there's nothing wrong with that. But you really need to sit down and do some soul-searching. If you're still stuck in limbo, try just building some friendships with a few women first. It’s not like you're jumping straight into bed with them—it's low stakes—but it’ll give you a real sense of how much social interaction actually shifts your headspace and whether you even enjoy the vibe. If you eventually decide you want something deeper than just being buddies, then go out and 🙂

I didn't go through the grieving process properly—I just stayed stuck in denial and ended up developing BPD. Now I'm constantly terrified of losing people. That's basically where I am.

Look, meds usually just mask the symptoms, you know? They rarely touch the actual root cause, which is sitting right there inside you. So, honestly, I think it’s a great move that you're looking into alternative ways to heal. 🙂 The thing is, change is the only constant in this life, and pretty much all our suffering comes from fighting that reality. When you're mourning what's gone or stressing about what might happen, you’re just missing out on actually living. Life is happening right now—your present moment is literally what builds your past and your future. Because you're so paralyzed by this fear of loss, you're actually losing the precious moments you have right in front of you. It's a total vicious cycle.

Life is full of ups and downs—it's unavoidable. We actually need both to grow. You can't control every single thing that hits you, but you *can* always choose how you react to the chaos. Just focus on making smart, small choices; those little decisions eventually snowball into massive changes in your life.

Your sister made her choice, and even if you can't wrap your head around it, you really have to respect her autonomy. It's heartbreaking that she ended things, but what good does dwelling on it do when you can't change the outcome? In life, you've got to try and lean into the light rather than the dark. For instance, try to hold onto the good memories you shared with her instead of letting her suicide be the only thing defining her in your mind.

You can actually practice bioenergy healing on yourself. We all have that energy within us, and there are plenty of techniques for self-healing, clearing your aura, recharging your vibe, and so on. Like, just visualize a bright white light flowing from your palm toward whatever part of your body needs attention. Personally, I've had some pretty positive experiences with it so far.

Hannah Allen5 said:I guess I don't see it that way. If I can pinpoint where I messed up before (or where I just hit a wall), then maybe, just maybe, I can try to fix things down the road. But if I don't figure out what went wrong, I might just end up repeating the same mistakes a hundred times over. Okay, fine, maybe the real issue is just how much it eats at me that I've been "incapable" of hitting my goals up until now, and since I'm still struggling, I feel like if nothing shifts, I'll be stuck like this forever. 😁 But look, I'm not some damn zombie; I can't just exist solely in the "now," especially when the USA is going through a period where I feel like I'm seriously lacking something.🤷

That’s just the flip side of the same coin. What does worrying about the future actually get you? Nothing but unnecessary anxiety and stress, without a single positive outcome. You change the future by taking action right now. "Now" is the actual moment to gain experience. "Now" is when you face those fears head-on. Just live in the present, because that's what defines both your past and your future.

Come on, let's say I jump two days ahead, or maybe five days back—let's imagine now is Saturday night in Chicago. Even if the opportunities are pretty slim compared to what I'm hoping for, I'm still willing to keep my eyes open; maybe beneath the surface, there's a chance for something big. But what does all that do for me if I don't actually act? Or even worse, what happens if my actions turn out to be total garbage? 😬

Take it easy, man. I never said it was easy, but it's definitely not impossible. Try working with your thoughts and emotions. Study them, get to know yourself better. Meditation can actually help you get a grip on your mental state and your feelings. It can even help build those physical neural pathways in your brain.

I don't know, maybe that works. But in the middle of all that mental chaos, it feels like my emotions physically hijack my entire body, making it incredibly hard to just sit there and try to fix everything with self-suggestion.🤷

You've got a point there. Sure, you learn from the past, and yeah, you occasionally look back at the good times. But don't go living in the rearview mirror. If you're feeling a void in your life right now, deal with it—put in the work today so you actually have what you want tomorrow.

Hannah Allen5 said:I guess I don't see it that way. If I can pinpoint where I messed up before (or where I just hit a wall), then maybe, just maybe, I can try to fix things down the road. But if I don't figure out what went wrong, I might just end up repeating the same mistakes a hundred times over. Okay, fine, maybe the real issue is just how much it eats at me that I've been "incapable" of hitting my goals up until now, and since I'm still struggling, I feel like if nothing shifts, I'll be stuck like this forever. 😁 But look, I'm not some damn zombie; I can't just exist solely in the "now," especially when the USA is going through a period where I feel like I'm seriously lacking something.🤷

That’s just the flip side of the same coin. What does worrying about the future actually get you? Nothing but unnecessary anxiety and stress, without a single positive outcome. You change the future by taking action right now. "Now" is the actual moment to gain experience. "Now" is when you face those fears head-on. Just live in the present, because that's what defines both your past and your future.

Come on, let's say I jump two days ahead, or maybe five days back—let's imagine now is Saturday night in Chicago. Even if the opportunities are pretty slim compared to what I'm hoping for, I'm still willing to keep my eyes open; maybe beneath the surface, there's a chance for something big. But what does all that do for me if I don't actually act? Or even worse, what happens if my actions turn out to be total garbage? 😬

Take it easy, man. I never said it was easy, but it's definitely not impossible. Try working with your thoughts and emotions. Study them, get to know yourself better. Meditation can actually help you get a grip on your mental state and your feelings. It can even help build those physical neural pathways in your brain.

I don't know, maybe that works. But in the middle of all that mental chaos, it feels like my emotions physically hijack my entire body, making it incredibly hard to just sit there and try to fix everything with self-suggestion.🤷

Still, a bad call is better than sitting on your hands doing nothing. Like you said yourself: if you messed up somewhere, you'll take the lesson. Next time, you'll play it smarter.

Hannah Allen5 said:I guess I don't see it that way. If I can pinpoint where I messed up before (or where I just hit a wall), then maybe, just maybe, I can try to fix things down the road. But if I don't figure out what went wrong, I might just end up repeating the same mistakes a hundred times over. Okay, fine, maybe the real issue is just how much it eats at me that I've been "incapable" of hitting my goals up until now, and since I'm still struggling, I feel like if nothing shifts, I'll be stuck like this forever. 😁 But look, I'm not some damn zombie; I can't just exist solely in the "now," especially when the USA is going through a period where I feel like I'm seriously lacking something.🤷

That’s just the flip side of the same coin. What does worrying about the future actually get you? Nothing but unnecessary anxiety and stress, without a single positive outcome. You change the future by taking action right now. "Now" is the actual moment to gain experience. "Now" is when you face those fears head-on. Just live in the present, because that's what defines both your past and your future.

Come on, let's say I jump two days ahead, or maybe five days back—let's imagine now is Saturday night in Chicago. Even if the opportunities are pretty slim compared to what I'm hoping for, I'm still willing to keep my eyes open; maybe beneath the surface, there's a chance for something big. But what does all that do for me if I don't actually act? Or even worse, what happens if my actions turn out to be total garbage? 😬

Take it easy, man. I never said it was easy, but it's definitely not impossible. Try working with your thoughts and emotions. Study them, get to know yourself better. Meditation can actually help you get a grip on your mental state and your feelings. It can even help build those physical neural pathways in your brain.

I don't know, maybe that works. But in the middle of all that mental chaos, it feels like my emotions physically hijack my entire body, making it incredibly hard to just sit there and try to fix everything with self-suggestion.🤷

You can't stop the flood once those thoughts start racing. You can only acknowledge them and try to pivot your focus toward something better. The trick is to be hyper-aware of your own headspace—to actually choose your thoughts rather than letting them choose you. That way, you won't find yourself constantly fighting an uphill battle against your own mind.

I think I regret the things that never even happened. It’s just... it doesn't feel as straightforward as people make it out to be. Or maybe it does, and I'm just overthinking it—but it feels more complicated from where I'm sitting.

And what exactly did you gain from all that? Seriously—did you manage to rewrite history? Are you ever going to pull that off? Regretting the past is just a one-way ticket to unnecessary misery, and honestly, it always ends up with you missing out on the present—the only thing we actually have any say in. It’s really that simple.

And that’s kind of where the issue lies. When I’m not stuck ruminating on the past, my mind is constantly racing toward the future. I don't know—about her, specifically—I still have this nagging doubt that things will actually improve. My struggle is that I’ve had bad experiences, or no experience at all, when it comes to connecting with others. I haven't mastered the art of communication, neither in depth nor frequency. But there’s an issue on her end too—definitely one, maybe several. First off, because of certain things that have gone down in her life, she might be pigeonholing me—maybe unintentionally—into that "bad guy" category. And second, sometimes it feels like she’s scared—scared of hurting me, or me hurting her, or just terrified of breaking out of her routine.

Well, that’s just two sides of the same coin. What does obsessing over the future get you? Nothing but pointless anxiety and stress, with zero upside. If you want to change the future, you do it by taking action right now, in the present. "Now" is the only window you have to actually gain experience. "Now" is when you face those fears head-on. You have to live in the moment, because the moment is what builds your past and dictates your future.

Once it starts, it’s just... it's out of my hands. Even now, I'm not entirely sure—last night was just a total flood of feelings and thoughts while I was typing... and even though I don't usually write stuff while I'm worked up, I think that was definitely the case here. It would be ideal if I could just hit a pause button on my own brain... or just be able to think about something (or someone) without it becoming an obsession I can't stop.

Take it easy, man. I never said it was easy, but I'm certainly not saying it's impossible. Try to play around with your own thoughts and emotions instead of letting them run you ragged. Study them. Get to know yourself. Honestly, meditation can really help you grab the reins on your headspace and your moods. There's even science behind it—it can actually help build those physical neural pathways in your brain.

Look, meditation actually does wonders for your brain in a few specific ways:

- It pulls you out of that mindless "autopilot" mode we all fall into—you know, just drifting through life without noticing anything—and boosts your awareness so your days actually feel longer and way more meaningful.

- It sharpens your focus and concentration, which—let’s be honest—is the whole reason you’ll start knocking out problems faster and more efficiently than before.

- It builds up your tolerance for whatever stress-inducing nonsense life throws at you, making you a much calmer, happier, and more patient person overall.

- It actually bumps up your Intel. While you're meditating, you're basically building new synapses—new neural connections. We’ve got over 100 billion neurons floating around in our brains, and when it comes down to it, what really separates us in terms of Intel is how many of those neural connections we have wired up.

And if you look at it from a purely physiological standpoint, your body gets a massive kickback too:

- You get lower levels of lactate and cortisol in your bloodstream—those are the classic red flags for stress, depression, and anxiety.

- It helps bring down your blood pressure.

- It can boost those longevity and youth hormones, like Growth Hormone (HGH) and DHEA. Honestly, meditation is a much cheaper and more natural way to give your body those essential hormones compared to any supplement you'd find at a pharmacy.

- It ramps up the hormones responsible for that actual sense of happiness and well-being: serotonin and melatonin.

- Plus, it helps with muscle relaxation.

Look, life is actually pretty straightforward, and honestly, human relationships should be too. You just gotta take things as they come—deal with them the best way you know how, and that’s it. Don't lose sleep over what other people think or why they act the way they do. And stop beating yourself up over stuff that already happened; you can't change the past. Sure, maybe plan ahead for the future every once in a while, but don't obsess over it. Obsessing is just a fast track to unnecessary stress and a massive headache. Just live—focus on right now. Maybe you'll hit it off with someone and build something real, or maybe you won't. Worst case scenario? There are millions of other girls out there waiting to meet you.

Things are feeling a little better now, but man, I really wish I could get some more constructive feedback here... I just want to know how to "feel" or react if this whole thing happens again. Even though I'm still pretty confused and feel like I got played, that total "bomb" of emotions and racing thoughts in my head has finally died down.

Don't fight your own brain. Seriously, don't get sucked into that endless internal debate where you argue with yourself. Just let the thoughts pass through like they aren't even there—just focus on your breathing. Like, the second you catch yourself thinking, "But what if..."—just drop it. Let the thought die right there. Don't feed it. That's the only way you're going to calm down and actually stay in control.