82 posts shown.
feralhound55 said:😵
I said legally responsible until 18. Once people hit adulthood, they make their own calls—it's how it works. I’m not saying you cut ties with your parents entirely, but they have that right. You're a parent for life, and they're your kids as long as you're around.
feralhound55 said:Just a little thought from my side...
I used to be totally weird about kids—I love other people's children, but I’m just not sure about my own. When a friend comes over and lets her toddler run wild, honestly, I feel like I should be the one chasing him. Or better yet, put him under a glass dome so he doesn't trip and hurt himself. I think I'd be way too overprotective with my own, which isn't exactly healthy. Then again, the whole spit-up and mess thing isn't exactly my vibe. Plus, my life is already so packed; I have no idea how I'd squeeze a kid into the schedule.
So, I was watching Sunday Night Football, 1 vs 100, Conor McGregor. Tarik asks him if he’s married, and he says no. It hit me right then—this guy made a massive fortune on game shows and probably lives pretty comfortably. Except he has nobody to share it with. No one to leave it to. 😢 In that moment, something clicked, and I realized that despite everything, I actually want kids. Despite the chaos and the lack of free time. Once I get my life together, I can make it happen. But not yet—I need a steady job, an organized house, a stable marriage.
Also, an acquaintance told me she wasn't crazy about kids either, but her hormones took over and now she absolutely adores her "little nuggets." She calls them that out of love, just so there's no confusion.
Generally speaking, I think civilization has progressed enough that we can decide for ourselves if and when we want to have children. Social pressure is the worst reason to do anything. After all, we're creating a life that we are responsible for during those first 18 years. And besides love, that new life needs a lot of other things. If someone thinks they can't provide that, or simply doesn't want to, they're better off not bringing a child into the world.
granitebadger said:I’m posting this in good faith, and I’m new here, but I can hardly believe what I’m reading. Think about it: why don't you want that child? Is it because, deep down, you’re still just emotionally stunted little girls who think life is about receiving attention rather than giving it? Where does all this coldness come from, hidden behind such ridiculous rhetoric?
I agree that everyone has a right to choose, and I support that. But spiritually immature women—those who will always remain small and needy—should be denied sterilization.
Otherwise, if you do have a child, they will turn out exactly like you: bitter and pathetic. They won't have anyone to turn to. So perhaps it is better that you don't give birth. It's sad. You call this "reproduction"? It’s a textbook example of emotional immaturity. We are all shaped by our childhoods and our parents. Some people escape with minor consequences for themselves and their partners, while others face much more serious fallout. Perhaps it was an older sibling who left you feeling unloved, or perhaps it was parents who were just as cold and immature as you are now. That is the most common pattern.
For us mature women, "reproduction" isn't the only goal. However, it is a true litmus test for whether you are ready to give.
Not just take.
And you should realize that you will never reach a level of receiving that is enough for you.
It’s essentially a bottomless pit. Always wanting more, and more, and more...
This isn't a judgment. I am simply saddened by people who were so deeply neglected during their upbringing.
I am an unconventional, multifaceted person living a fast-paced life. But... I have a son, and I have dedicated myself to him completely. Wow! (The capacity to give).
Today, we are friends who laugh at the same jokes. He has style, he's witty, he's incredibly intelligent, and girls adore him. He’s kind,
---- and my greatest achievement in life.
You can be whatever you want to be in your lives, but you will never be whole individuals.
Because you aren't capable of it. Of giving.
Tragic. Truly tragic...
James Sanchez15 said:I don't know... I'm 24, and ever since I started "growing up"—which basically means being hit with all these thoughts about starting a family and having kids one day—I feel like I’ll just end up having them because it's "natural." Like, society expects it from me subconsciously, and I guess I'll just subconsciously accept that too... but honestly? The idea of having my own child actually scares me. I don't even know why. And when I see a baby, I don't feel any urge to have one myself. I actually feel a much stronger urge when I see a kitten! I'm being completely serious here.
slypuma17 said:Try to focus a little. And maybe exercise some self-control. You really shouldn't be this abrupt or high-strung; you don't have kids to justify that kind of temperament.
If you haven't picked up on it from my previous posts in this thread, I don't want children either. I’m not one of those people who interrogates others about their choices. On the contrary, I find myself experiencing these feelings more and more intensely as time goes by.
The urge hits me just as hard as it hits you.
But, unlike you, I actually try to understand why people act the way they do. One reason is precisely because of women who changed their minds—women who insisted they didn't want kids, only to end up surrounded by them later on.
So, people hang their hopes on the idea that I might change my mind too.
And honestly, who knows what aging will bring? How can I say for certain that I won't change my mind down the road? 🤷
Carol Baker6 said:It’s not like I don’t love kids or anything, it’s just that... I guess I just don't have such a high opinion of myself
amberfox4 said:Honestly, there isn't a single stupid comment I haven't already heard, considering I am 36 years old.
People are finally starting to back off, though I suspect that is only because I have become increasingly blunt when answering their inquiries.
I usually just say something along the lines of, "No, I never wanted children."
And when they follow up with, "But why?"
I respond, "Because the desire was never there."
And if it hasn't happened by now...
Well, it isn't going to happen. I don't want kids.
Then comes the inevitable, "What about your husband?"
My response? "My husband and I aren't allowed to have children because we were both diagnosed with cannibalism, and our specialty is the 'warm cradle' method." (That is a joke, of course, but it always seems to shut down those busybodies who feel entitled to stick their noses into my business.)
One can safely assume that we discussed such vital matters before we ever tied the knot; furthermore, I discuss private matters exclusively with my husband, not with acquaintances or neighbors whose opinions hold absolutely no weight in my life. Quite frankly, your personal affairs do not interest me one bit.
coastaleagle25 said:😁
My cycle usually runs between 27 and 32 days—it really depends on how stressed I am—so I honestly have no idea how to track my ovulation. My period lasts about six and a half days, and the first day is always painful, so I reach for Advil immediately.
I take Advil the second I feel any discomfort because I refuse to go through that "period shock" all over again.
Has anyone else here actually experienced that kind of shock?
It’s happened to me maybe four or five times now, and let me tell you, it is terrifying. The symptoms are brutal: nausea, heavy sweating, chills, and then muscle spasms in my hands and feet. Then comes the intense uterine cramping, which eventually turns into what feels like actual labor pains. During those moments, I’m literally pushing against my own will in regular waves. Only one doctor I saw had ever heard of anything like this; she couldn't explain why it happens, but she did say it hurts way more than actual labor because I'm straining and nothing is happening 🙂. One doctor was so baffled and overwhelmed by what was happening that she actually asked me what medication I wanted while I was doubled over on the exam table. They always end up giving me a Voltaren injection in the hip, and once, they had to give me two because the pain just wouldn't quit.
And just to be clear, I’ve never been pregnant and I haven't had any miscarriages. I’ve seen gynecologists, and after my Pap smear and ultrasound, they told me everything looks perfectly healthy.
Does anyone else deal with this? Even if you don't, I'd love to hear from someone who does, just so I know I'm not alone in this madness. 😁
Patrick Peterson said:Just flush before you go.
And then your mess lands in clean water—it doesn't get dirty that fast.
Sarah Moore86 said:So, which one of you actually possesses it?