I’ve actually made some huge strides with my confidence over the last couple of years—like, I care way less about what people think now, even if I still struggle with it occasionally. But then, out of nowhere, something happens that just nukes my self-esteem. Someone told me this year (well, not to my face, but you get it) that they think I'm an idiot. Now? I can't stop obsessing over it. Every time I'm around them, I'm desperately trying to act smart, but it's just not working. I feel like a total moron whenever we hang out, which is weird because I don't feel this way with anyone else. It's just this one person, yet it makes me question if I actually *am* stupid in general, and honestly, my confidence is back in the gutter. My old insecurities are just resurfacing big time. Am I actually dumb or what? And how am I supposed to prove to them that I'm not? ... Just a million questions spinning in my head.
Dana Morales64 said:Does anyone else deal with people you just can't stand? I mean, no matter how hard they try to be engaging, they just grate on your nerves—to the point where you wouldn't want them anywhere near you under any circumstances. For me, it’s those high-strung types—people who are constantly wound up, living in this perpetual state of tension where every single move and every little step has been meticulously calculated beforehand. I've even got relatives like that... it's exhausting. Why can't they just be chill? Just relax and be spontaneous—letting things happen naturally instead of overthinking every word and every gesture. I've realized that people who are actually laid-back and spontaneous don't struggle with making or keeping friends. I've met plenty of spontaneous folks—usually out at a bar or a concert—and honestly, hanging out with people like you is such a breath of fresh air. Why is it that certain people get under our skin just because they're different from us? It’s a simple lack of compatibility, sure, but why does it feel so irritating? I can't be the only one feeling this way.
Oh, absolutely. Some people are just boring—end of story. And when I call someone out on this forum for being a jerk, people actually laugh at me? Seriously? I'm not exactly looking to be everyone's best friend. I can't stand fake people—why would I waste my time hanging out with someone I don't even like? It's not about being stuck up, it's just common sense. I prefer people who aren't constantly performing—you know, the quiet types who don't feel the need to chime in if the conversation doesn't actually interest them.
Dana Morales64 said:Does anyone else deal with people you just can't stand? I mean, no matter how hard they try to be engaging, they just grate on your nerves—to the point where you wouldn't want them anywhere near you under any circumstances. For me, it’s those high-strung types—people who are constantly wound up, living in this perpetual state of tension where every single move and every little step has been meticulously calculated beforehand. I've even got relatives like that... it's exhausting. Why can't they just be chill? Just relax and be spontaneous—letting things happen naturally instead of overthinking every word and every gesture. I've realized that people who are actually laid-back and spontaneous don't struggle with making or keeping friends. I've met plenty of spontaneous folks—usually out at a bar or a concert—and honestly, hanging out with people like you is such a breath of fresh air. Why is it that certain people get under our skin just because they're different from us? It’s a simple lack of compatibility, sure, but why does it feel so irritating? I can't be the only one feeling this way.
That pretty much sums up how people see me. I'm definitely a bit stiff—not that I'm planning every breath, though. I love using a planner to map out my day. As for overthinking what to say and when to say it? Yeah, I'm basically the world champion at that. Half the time I want to say something, but by the time I've debated whether I should, the urge is just... gone.
Dana Morales64 said:Does anyone else deal with people you just can't stand? I mean, no matter how hard they try to be engaging, they just grate on your nerves—to the point where you wouldn't want them anywhere near you under any circumstances. For me, it’s those high-strung types—people who are constantly wound up, living in this perpetual state of tension where every single move and every little step has been meticulously calculated beforehand. I've even got relatives like that... it's exhausting. Why can't they just be chill? Just relax and be spontaneous—letting things happen naturally instead of overthinking every word and every gesture. I've realized that people who are actually laid-back and spontaneous don't struggle with making or keeping friends. I've met plenty of spontaneous folks—usually out at a bar or a concert—and honestly, hanging out with people like you is such a breath of fresh air. Why is it that certain people get under our skin just because they're different from us? It’s a simple lack of compatibility, sure, but why does it feel so irritating? I can't be the only one feeling this way.
I don't get those people—hanging out with them is a chore. They're usually just superficial types who'll grab a drink with anyone just to maintain a massive social circle.
Dana Morales64 said:Does anyone else deal with people you just can't stand? I mean, no matter how hard they try to be engaging, they just grate on your nerves—to the point where you wouldn't want them anywhere near you under any circumstances. For me, it’s those high-strung types—people who are constantly wound up, living in this perpetual state of tension where every single move and every little step has been meticulously calculated beforehand. I've even got relatives like that... it's exhausting. Why can't they just be chill? Just relax and be spontaneous—letting things happen naturally instead of overthinking every word and every gesture. I've realized that people who are actually laid-back and spontaneous don't struggle with making or keeping friends. I've met plenty of spontaneous folks—usually out at a bar or a concert—and honestly, hanging out with people like you is such a breath of fresh air. Why is it that certain people get under our skin just because they're different from us? It’s a simple lack of compatibility, sure, but why does it feel so irritating? I can't be the only one feeling this way.
Why would you even let them get under your skin? Just walk away and leave them in the rearview mirror.☕
rustyraven4 said:I still remember that little blue-eyed kid, Josip Katalinic, I think that’s his name—he was always popping up in those teen dramas, but he never actually made anything of himself. Word on the street is he's turned into a total junkie now. Talk about a downward spiral... 😬
And I caught his (new?) music video on TV—apparently, he's gay too.
crimsonviper88 said:What’s your take on average people? You know, the ones who just want a totally mundane, run-of-the-mill life? People who don't care about big thrills or massive changes. They’re just settled into their routine, comfortable with it, and don't have any desire to shake things up.
Lately, I feel like I'm constantly fighting against being mediocre. I hate it. I can't stand people who are just... passive. Honestly, I might even say I feel something close to hatred toward them.
But here’s the thing that really gets to me: I think I’m becoming one of them. I have a small circle I hang out with most—we’ve known each other since high school, maybe five or six years now. They’re my real friends, the only ones I actually care about. Everyone else is just an acquaintance. But lately, I’ve realized this core group is exactly what I described above. Passive. Unwilling to change. Afraid of taking risks or finding excitement. It irritates the hell out of me because by hanging out with them, I’m basically forced to be like them. I don't have the energy to break out of this rut on my own. I don't *want* to be ordinary. But I don't have a social circle that actually pushes me to be different—one where I can actually be myself. The version of me I actually want to be.
Look, obviously I want to keep my friends. I love them, despite our differences. But how do you stop being so dependent on them? Everyone has their own needs and wants, but if the majority wants one thing, then the minority's desires—in this case, mine—just end up pushed aside...
How do you stop being dependent? Just look at me—never had a real friend in my life, now I’ve got one bestie and a boyfriend, and everyone else is just some acquaintance or a college classmate I have zero in common with. I was never "normal" and I don't plan on being—not to fit in, not to blend with the crowd, not for any other reason. I'm weird, I'm different from the masses, and honestly? I'm proud of it! What's the point of having friends if you can't actually be yourself around them? Why stick around if they won't let you let your spirit run wild and escape all that mindless conformity?
So, one R.E.M. album is titled Lifes Rich Pageant—but if you're being a stickler for grammar, it should actually be "life's rich pageant," you know? With the apostrophe and all.
Nicole Davis7 said:I have to respectfully disagree with the idea that being alone is the most terrifying thing a person can face. Honestly, looking at how this topic keeps coming up, I feel like there’s a much deeper, more significant issue at play here: social anxiety. I know exactly what I'm talking about. About ten years ago, right after I finished my degree, I finally worked through my own struggle with social phobia. Once I got past that, being alone stopped feeling like a burden and actually started feeling like a blessing. Why a blessing? Because I was choosing solitude on my own terms. I genuinely enjoyed my own company. And because I wasn't afraid anymore, if I felt like hanging out with friends, I could just go out without that crushing sense of dread. It feels like this fear of being alone is often rooted in a lack of self-acceptance or even a bit of self-loathing. You start thinking, "Well, if I feel this way about myself, why would anyone else want to be around me?" But it’s different when you change that mindset. Start learning to love and respect yourself first. Once you do that, being alone won't feel heavy anymore, and grabbing a coffee by yourself in downtown Chicago won't feel like such a daunting task. ☕
Huh, never really looked at it through that lens. For me, needing friends has always been an essential thing—like, a total necessity for my happiness. I just want someone to actually *know* me, because most people around here barely scratch the surface.
As for self-acceptance? Yeah, I’ve totally embraced who I am. But there’s a huge difference between accepting yourself and being accepted by others. I’m not going to bend over backward or fake my interests just to score some shallow, fake friendships. But hey, maybe that’s the only way to play the game, right?
Look, in my last post, I really let some garbage slip—stuff that was just wrong and honestly pretty dark. It’s a reflection of where my head's been at, but looking back now? Everything's hitting me differently. It's about effort. For some reason, I just... don't try. I won't even make an effort to get close to people who actually seem interesting. Lately, I find myself trying to bond with random strangers online, but when it comes to the people right in front of me at college? Zero chance. If you don't click with everyone on day one of freshman year, you're basically branded an outsider for good. It takes massive work to change that after the fact. I'm gonna try to put in that work now—after years of being a hermit—if I can even still believe it'll work.
ruggedmason said:If you're asking whether it's true that nobody wants to be alone, I'd say yes. Not that we need a massive circle of friends or to be out every night, but humans are social creatures and everyone needs connection at some point. "No man is an island" It's completely natural. In my view, the most important distinction is whether we are okay with ourselves when we are alone, or if we only feel okay when we "have" someone else. Sometimes solitude is useful; it allows people to learn to love themselves and eventually realize that the most important relationship you have is with yourself, finally breaking that "dependency" on others. I think that's the only way to build healthy relationships with other people. Where we share things with them, if and when we want to, but without depending on them.
I'd tell you to just get out there and walk around, even if you aren't buying anything, just to see that nothing bad happens and nobody is judging you for being by yourself. Maybe take a bike ride, sit down for a coffee, or bring a book if that makes it easier—just relax and enjoy it. You won't look pathetic; you'll actually look cool. I find people like that more interesting. They're different. They have their own "self." And if being alone still bothers you that much, it's also the perfect opportunity to meet someone new.
You wouldn't believe how many people are actually alone. (Both the ones who are physically alone and the ones surrounded by crowds)
Totally agree. But—man, I don't have the guts to do any of that, just moving through crowds of people who aren't alone. I’m terrified of getting that "weird look," because most people won't see some deep, intelligent guy with his own vibe—they'll just think I'm some total freak.
The thing is, the people who always have a huge group around them? They aren't interested in people like me. There’s zero chance they’d bother with someone when they’ve already got a full house. Everyone’s too full of themselves—they just assume I’m solo because I *want* to be.
So I was supposed to head downtown today to pick some stuff up—that was the plan, anyway—but then total panic set in. Just this overwhelming dread at the thought of walking through the city streets all by myself again. It drags all those old memories right back to the surface. Honestly, I’ve changed so much lately and I don't feel like that pathetic version of myself anymore, but heading out alone feels like admitting nothing has actually changed. I’m terrified of being alone. Is it just me haunted by the past, or does nobody actually enjoy their own company?
I’ve had these "identity crises"—which is really just code for those moments where it hits you like a freight train that you have absolutely nobody, zero real friends, and you just want to end it all because the loneliness is too much. It hurts. Loneliness is hands down the most painful thing in the world.
A quick thought on everyone else: Why are people so terrified of ending relationships that clearly don't work? They just can't face being alone. That’s my take, anyway. I honestly don't get how some people on this forum could look me in the eye a year ago and say, "Hey, why not just be single? It’s great! You can do this and that!" How can anyone find loneliness "good"? I seriously don't get it, because I can't stand it for another second.
Lately, I've been trying to convince myself that I'm not actually alone, so now I'm scared that if I go downtown solo, it'll prove that this whole past year was just a wash. The truth is, I still don't have anyone to go out with, which just confirms I'm still isolated despite all these imaginary friends I've managed to make.
p.s. When I say "downtown," I just mean hitting the mall—there's no other reason I'd be forced to wander around town.
coastalhawk13 said:man, JD just lost their edge. it's all over some big-shot American music blog.
Great. I mean, I hold Michael in such high regard that nobody else could ever step in. They should've just rebranded the band the second he passed—kind of like how Joy Division became New order. That way, fans wouldn't be split between die-hards like me and people like you who think Switch is fine. I'm not spinning them right now, but I'll definitely be back to them eventually. INXS has that danceable energy—that real fire—that Michael used to bring to the stage.
Back when I was 11 or 12—mostly thanks to my older sister—it was all Enrique and Britney... though my absolute favorite back then? Peter, Jack, whatever—just some local guy. ---------------------- (Fast forward through a massive gap where I didn't listen to anything) ----------> In 8th grade, I’d literally hunt down songs on the radio just to finish my homework—makes zero sense looking back, right? ------------------------------------------------------------> (Then came another long stretch of total silence) --------------> January 2006: started hitting up peak hour videos on the Internet—strictly foreign music videos for me -> Madonna (Hung up, Sorry) -> Shakira (Don't Bother, La Tortura) -> more Shakira -> Hips Don't Lie -> Then in June, I caught the video for Imitation of Life and immediately felt like there was something special about R.E.M. -> Summer 2006: just riding the radio hits -> David Gray -> becoming a massive R.E.M. devotee -> Keane, Coldplay -> diving deep into everything foreign: pop, rock, oldies, new stuff, even country -> turned into an indie fan -> plus electronica and synthpop -> Punk -> Right now? It's R.E.M., INXS, Talk Talk, Suede, Daft Punk
Man, "Leave a Light On" is just absolute perfection. Honestly, Madonna is easily one of the greatest vocalists to ever do it—she’s basically sitting at #2 on my all-time list, which is saying a lot since I barely listen to female artists at all.
I dig no Doubt mostly because of their deep cuts—not just the massive radio hits. Personally, I’m all about "Sunday Morning" and "Bathwater," plus "Underneath It All" is definitely in the mix too. It’s that whole punk-ska vibe that gives me total The Clash vibes—you can really hear it in "Sunday Morning."
I'm listening to U2's killer debut "U2" and R.E.M.'s amazing first record "Murmur" back-to-back, and man, I can't believe how much they vibe together. U2 is easily my #2 band—and honestly, who cares if critics trashed their first album? They couldn't be more wrong. Maybe R.E.M. feels a bit more polished on "Murmur" just because of Michael Stipe's whole vibe, but still... and look, once Michael Hutchence passed, it was game over for U2 in my book. No one is ever replacing him.