If everyone actually opened up about their teenage secrets... we wouldn't seem quite so wild or act like we were such huge sinners all the time. ....Just enjoy life....and look... that guy from your past didn't exactly reinvent the wheel. People have been making those same mistakes forever. Just forgive him for being curious and clueless, and move on with your life.
...you really need to start brainstorming how to build your own career path... take a deep dive into different craft courses online, research what people are actually buying, and just dig into the data... you don't need a massive bank account to get moving; you can start making things and selling them online with pretty minimal startup costs... then there’s the service side of things too, like furniture assembly, interior decorating, or home staging... or maybe something more niche, like sewing high-end lingerie, custom pet apparel, or even building little houses and beds for animals... honestly, you can often take old furniture that people are just tossing out on the curb and turn it into a beautiful, high-end pet bed... you could also look into making small sculptures that serve as keepsakes for people—reminders of childhood or lost loved ones—or customized ceramics with meaningful inscriptions... even hand-lettered calligraphy cards could be a thing... the more creative you are, the easier it is to turn nothing into something special... and once you start earning your own bread, the whole dynamic changes... you realize you can set your own rules and live life exactly how you want to. ..
22... so far, I have only ever spoken honestly about this with my mom (she has mentioned a few times that I should see a doctor for it, but it always seemed so trivial to me, and I felt like you only go to the doctor if you are physically ill—I know, I know, I probably sound shallow right now, but...) ...even though I sleep with my boyfriend quite often, and he notices it, he keeps telling me not to worry and that it will pass... but it never seems to pass... actually, some nights of sleep are better than others, but it mostly ends up being the same... and I somewhat agree regarding the "physical activity" part, but believe me, over these last 5 or 6 years, I have had plenty of truly exhausting days, so that didn't seem to make a difference either...
...I think it's also a bit trivial because so many people wake up in the middle of the night, they just fall right back asleep immediately. I do that too... I definitely wake up once or twice a night, but I usually drift off fast. Sometimes, though, I just can't catch those Z's. When that happens, I'll get up and have a little cup of warm chamomile tea... read something for a bit, and after an hour or two, I'm out. Of course, I feel a bit drained the next day... but I just make up for it when I get home from work... or by heading to bed a little earlier in the evening... Getting some physical activity in is huge... I'd really recommend a brisk walk in the morning (maybe thirty minutes) and again in the evening (at least an hour)... maybe take a shower or soak in a warm, fragrant bath before hitting the hay... As long as you're getting 7 to 8 hours of rest total per day—even if it's broken up—you should be fine... even if you miss an hour or two some nights... the main thing is catching up during the day... But if you aren't regularly getting at least 7 hours... neither at night nor during the day... it gets hard to fall asleep... you'll find yourself waking up constantly... staying awake for way longer than just a few minutes... and feeling that sense of restlessness or anxiety when you wake up... if you're feeling exhausted almost every single day... then that's when you really need to look into getting some help...
...so, how old are you?..... ...from what I can tell...and look, I’m definitely not some medical expert or anything here...just speaking from life experience...waking up suddenly like that often happens when there's underlying stress, or maybe if you aren't moving around enough during the day. It could also be something like a hormonal shift, like perimenopause or menopause for women over 40...but honestly, it could be triggered by all sorts of other things too.....
frozenfox84 said:Looking back, I felt like I didn't quite fit into either category—sounds strange, I know—but I wasn't truly myself either. I've toyed with the idea of playing a "supporting role" more than once; it had its charms, honestly. Even as a gay man with zero interest in women, there was an aesthetic appeal to it—call it curiosity, I guess. I gave it a shot, mostly because I have a thing for high-end designer heels and find feminine style inspiring, though I wouldn't want anyone actually addressing me as a woman.
o.O
...it's totally normal not to feel like you fit strictly into one box or another... and how do you even define feeling like a man or a woman anyway? Is it based on having a certain body type? Or is it about who you're attracted to?... ...the whole thing with clothing is basically something we're taught... clothes can be for women just as easily as they can be for men... it's all conditioned and forced on us by society halfway through growing up... personally, I've never felt like a man, even though I wear "men's" shoes and pants most of the time, and I don't wear makeup or paint my nails or grow them out... ...guys wear skirts too... and plenty of men have worn dresses without feeling like women for even a second... ...besides, you're still young... it's completely fine that you aren't 100% sure yet. You're seeing so many different things that draw you in, so you try them out, you taste them... and then later on, you figure out where you land... ...and then there are guys who aren't trans, but they're just into crossdressing and get turned on by feminine clothes...
...look, whatever you turn out to be, don't be afraid and don't be ashamed... just live your life happily and be true to yourself...🙂
false (fôls) adj. fals·er, fals·est 1. Not factual or truthful: false tales of bravery........................meaning untruthful, contrary to the facts 2. Purposely untrue: giving false testimony under oath............meaning lying with the intent to deceive 3. Stemming from misconceptions: false hopes of writing a hit novel...............meaning coming from an illusion 4. Meant to mislead: a suitcase with a false bottom; false promises.............intended to trick someone 5. Unreliable or disloyal: a false friend. See Synonyms AT faithless..........someone you can't trust 6. Not authentic or real: false teeth; false documents........................................an imitation of something...not the real thing 7. Set up temporarily, like scaffolding used during building.................................a temporary solution that isn't the permanent one
mostly false....mostly incorrect, untrue, or largely a lie
neutral......neutral....neither wrong nor right
mostly true.........mostly or largely accurate, or generally true
true....accurate, truthful, or original
you can check out some more info here if you're interested
all in all, you did a good job with the translation....anyone will be able to get the gist, and every word usually carries more than one meaning...just stick to what's most commonly implied, since the people you're testing will probably just be average folks
Being out of work, dealing with hormone crashes, and seeing your sex drive just tank—or disappear entirely—it all ties together. It might actually be the root cause behind the jealousy, the depression, the drinking, and that growing resentment toward his wife. You see men undergo these kinds of radical personality shifts all the time when they hit rock bottom like this. The most critical thing is for him to stop drinking and get into therapy. But, since he’s pretty old-school and conservative, making him see that might feel like an impossible mission. I honestly think things are just going to spiral unless there’s a massive, life-altering pivot. Whether it happens naturally or through a total shock to the system, he needs to be given a clear choice: either quit the booze and start counseling, or face a divorce so you can protect your own sanity and the well-being of your kids. ...every moment spent making excuses or waiting for things to fix themselves is just inviting even bigger disasters down the road.
frozenpanther3 said:I'm flexible enough that it's never an issue. If the floor is set higher, I can usually roll with it. But once the demand drops, I instinctively scale back—sometimes on purpose, sometimes without even thinking about it.
You're talking nonsense. I know women going through menopause, and they aren't like that. A few might act out a bit, but mostly they just get more sensitive. Besides, my issue isn't hormonal—at least not regarding that stuff.
🙂
I guess so. Most people are out there constantly hunting for social circles and partners. Not me. I’m not doing that just because society says I have to or because everyone else in my neck of the woods is obsessed with it. I don't feel the need for that intense emotional closeness with anyone. Honestly, I actually prefer the opposite.
Not saying I'm against it. But you can definitely dial back the emotions to a level that's actually tolerable.
First off, I don't buy that Eastern crap or "energy" nonsense. Second, asking me that is like asking if I poop regularly... obviously... 😁 I just don't see the point of having another person involved.
Sex for two is either emotional fulfillment or making babies—I don't need anyone else for either. Or maybe satisfying someone else, but that requires an emotional component just to feel like doing it in the first place.
If we're talking about sex just as recreation for self-pleasure, that's just not my style. I can't be that intimate with someone I barely know... besides, I can probably satisfy myself better and more completely anyway. Typical stuff doesn't really get me worked up, and to actually open up, I'd need some level of closeness that I just don't manage to achieve. Honestly, I'd rather just retreat into my own head. It's safer.
Agreed. I wouldn't change myself either. But other people see a need, or they want more in the moment than I'm willing or able to give, so we drift apart. I'd much rather keep things at a minimum level of interaction... unfortunately, others expect more. How do I put this? I prefer having someone nearby without needing any deep emotional exchange or action, and sometimes even zero interaction at all (and when the other side demands it, it drives me crazy).
I don't know if you get it, but ideally, I'd love to find a woman down for long-term, low-energy, slow-burn social interaction... but I don't know anyone like that. Forcing someone into something they don't want is torture and unfair to them, just like forcing myself into something demanding would be. I try to be fair to people as much as I can.
....I didn't realize you were a woman....I thought you were a man....sorry..... ...and yeah......there are plenty of men who feel exactly like that during the later stages of menopause....when the hormones aren't wild,.....they just sort of dip..... ...but you aren't in that phase......your hormones are fine... ...maybe you weren't raised in a loving home.....growing up without affection and attention..... ...or maybe you're just spoiled, someone who was coddled and had everyone walking on eggshells around them..... .....everything seems pretty normal for you.....so where's the catch.....is it just that people don't do exactly what and how much you want them to......well, that's true for everyone....it's hard to find someone who actually fits us perfectly.....
...It feels like everything just hits you all at once... that sudden, overwhelming wave... and that's how so many women start feeling when they hit menopause...
...I mean, what chances are actually at stake here? From who? Some alcoholic isn't going to come after you... honestly, it’s fine. It's actually better if they don't. Not a single one of them will. I mean, what could any drunk ever actually contribute to your life anyway? ...You should really just count your blessings that they're staying away... 🙂
When you're 16 or 18, that’s how the world looks... it’s like the whole universe conspired against our love, and now we’re just sitting here crying because... well, it was that once-in-a-lifetime kind of thing. A soul-crushing, beautiful connection you know you'll never find again... and you won't even look for it, because that would feel like a betrayal... blah, blah, blah...
By 25, things look a little different... I guess that's life. Just another disappointment in the rearview mirror... moving on... it hurts, but it passes. There are still good guys out there... maybe even better than my ex. Actually, I'm pretty sure I'll find someone better... they have to be better... time to get back out there and start meeting people...
...By 35... is there anyone actually sane left to meet and build a life with? I am so over the endless cycle of "getting to know" people, only for it to fall apart because he's "not ready yet" or "hasn't thought about it..." I just want a normal guy I can actually live with...
...At 45... why on earth did I waste my time clinging to such losers? All I do is cook, grind at work, and grind at home... what was the point? I could've been out with my girlfriends, finding some decent guy who’d at least take me out to a nice, romantic dinner once a week... I miss romance. My life is flying by and I'm terrified I won't find a guy who's genuinely romantic without being a total bore...
...At 55... he's home, but honestly, I couldn't care less about him. He'd much rather stare at the TV or his computer than actually go out and do something fun... meanwhile, the girls and I are having the time of our lives. We finally finished raising the kids (they just show up when we invite them over for lunch or dinner)... and the husbands? They're either home or out fishing... and us? We are absolutely loving life... 🙂
...At 65... the ladies are calling me again to grab coffee and pastries this Saturday... but how many times do I have to explain that I am NOT eating sweets? My cholesterol is through the roof... goodness, they've aged so much. No matter what I tell them, I have to repeat it a hundred times before it sticks... forget going out with two senile old women who do nothing but gossip about their daughters-in-law, sons-in-law, and weight gain... no thanks. I'd rather stay home and watch TV; at least I can turn it off when I get bored. I'll just enjoy a quiet tea and listen to my favorite music... ...oh, shoot... I forgot my old man is home today too. He and those two old goats didn't go fishing last night... his back is acting up again...
...At 75... it's a gorgeous, sunny day. It would be lovely to head to the park with him for a stroll, but my hip has been killing me since last night; I can barely move. He made me tea and brought breakfast to my bed... we spent the morning talking about life and what lies ahead for us... aging and illness... who will look after whom... gosh... when I think about how much he used to annoy me—his bad habits, his snoring, the way he meddles in everything—and how much I wanted to be alone... well... when you get old, you just don't want to be lonely. You just want someone there to hand you a glass of water or call the doctor if you need it... Love? Yeah, that's love. Real love... when you realize you're just human... mortal, fragile, imperfect... and everyone else is too. And the person next to you is yours, and you are theirs... just the two of us, bound together by life and love... 🙂
...I’m never really in a rush... but I always get things done right on schedule... ...When you're part of a team, you have to match the pace everyone else is setting... but at the end of the day, the bottom line is just making sure everything is finished on time and done well... regardless of what the job actually is. It feels like over the last 20 years, the tempo has just kept ramping up across basically every industry in the US. Working under constant stress has become the standard... which isn't great for people, but I guess it's great for capital. Just squeeze every bit of productivity out of us until there's nothing left...
...it’s been about seven months now... my close friend finally moved in with her new partner... and honestly? I don't think I've ever seen her this happy, this centered... or just so incredibly full of love...🙂
darksailor98 said:I'll just stick to this one point; I agree the rest of it is pure madness. Look, the medical profession's mandate is to prevent suicide, and the American healthcare system operates under that exact principle. So, really, you aren't debating the concept of treatment—you're arguing about values. To talk about how doctors handle suicidal patients as if there's some perfect manual is pretty arrogant—unless you have a magic formula for preventing suicide (which I'm sure every psychiatrist in the country would love to have, given how much they struggle with it). You're basically saying you'd follow the standard protocols, then start counting how many people died or how many families sued you afterward. A little constructive criticism goes a long way, but maybe try stepping into their shoes for a second. Consider the culture, the legalities, and how an American hospital actually functions.
...okay....maybe that's just how things work over there....maybe in your neck of the woods, patients/clients just have to do whatever a psychologist or doctor wants them to do..... ....but I really hope you aren't actually in the field....or at least don't have anything to do with the profession... ....by your logic, I guess shackling someone up is probably fine too, since then they won't be able to kill themselves.....etc.....it's honestly no wonder the whole country goes to hell when it's run by people who view another human being as nothing more than an object to make money off of..... ......I'm out of words.....it just seems like we're living in two completely different worlds....and clearly, we're never going to see eye to eye on this....
redharbor9 said:She was dancing around the specifics and playing the generalizations whenever it suited her goal...
Quentin Tarantino:
I still say that if a psychologist finds themselves in a spot where they can't stay completely professional, they need to hand the patient off to a colleague. I’m not a psychologist, but I do educational work part-time; I have zero issues asking a peer to handle a student when I realize I can't be objective. There's no reason a psychologist wouldn't do the exact same thing.
As far as psychologists go, that's literally their official protocol. For psychotherapists, though, it usually just comes down to whether or not they've actually grown up yet...
I was asking around the forum to see what everyone thinks about transparency in this field. Specifically, should a psychotherapist be completely open with the public about their personal stances? I mean, things like whether they hold religious views, or if they have any homophobic biases—like, do they actually view homosexuality as some kind of sickness or abnormality? Or even more practically, would they be willing to work with people from different backgrounds, races, or genders? It’s one of those big questions that really gets people talking.
I was thinking about this scenario earlier—this little girl walks into her therapist's office and opens up about wanting to end her life, right? And instead of actually helping her through that darkness, the therapist starts throwing religious guilt in her face. Talking about God, sinning, all that stuff... it just felt so wrong to me. Think about it this way: if she grew up in a deeply religious household and she’s standing there telling a professional she wants to die, she already knows exactly what her faith says about it. She knows the "sin" aspect better than anyone. So, at that moment, she’s either already stepped away from those beliefs, or—and this is the part that hits harder—her pain has become so massive that any kind of spiritual punishment feels completely insignificant compared to the weight of what she's carrying. Using fear as a tool when someone is that vulnerable? It just doesn't sit right with me. It’s also just fundamentally unethical. Honestly, I think there’s even a criminal element to it—forcing a child who is already suffering to face even more violence. It feels wrong to weaponize fear against them, whether you're threatening them with sin, telling them they'll be cast out from the church, or scaring them with the idea of eternal suffering in the afterlife. It's just not right.
Look, if you just look at the examples we've been discussing... it’s pretty obvious that some therapists simply lack the emotional maturity needed for this kind of work. Because of that, the current setup just isn't enough. We need a different way to actually protect the client. It shouldn't be about expecting every therapist to be some kind of flawless superhero. That's just not realistic. It's more about having actual regulations in place. We need to make sure clients understand from the jump that their therapist isn't a god or a perfect being. They need to know there's a system—that one person might be held accountable for the therapy, while another might not be, depending on how things are structured. It’s about accountability and safety, not perfection.
Dennis Bailey2 I can't even begin to process this. Total nonsense. Hell yeah, it can be done. 🤷 Look, let’s get one thing straight: you can't predict how psychotherapy is going to turn out. It's impossible. Period. Spot on.Look, you can't just suggest an intervention without having a rock-solid idea of what the outcome is going to be. You need to be damn sure there’s a massive chance it actually works. If you don't have that, you might as well just go betting on Yellow Mist instead. 🤷 Is it Red...? 🤔 I always forget.
That’s what I’m talking about. Most things work on probability—that's just common sense. Sure, you run into situations where there are zero assumptions in practice, but even then, you're working within a safe context. But Rebecca Scott3 was out here claiming 100% certainty on an outcome? Please. That’s straight-up delusional.
...you're putting words in my mouth... .....I never said it had to be 100% guaranteed...but it does have to be something that makes sense through logic and basic common sense....like, any decent therapist should be able to predict that an abuser isn't going to suddenly flip a switch and change their entire personality overnight, or just drop all their old habits out of nowhere....
redharbor9... I didn't realize this was an exclusive club where only the top-tier professionals get to talk about the actual hurdles clients face in psychotherapy ...plus, I’m just not used to dealing with people who get aggressive... and honestly, I have no intention of getting used to it... ...it's been a long time since I left the old neighborhood, and that kind of confrontational way of talking (which seemed pretty standard back home, if I recall correctly) feels totally foreign to me now... ...you can spin it however you want... throw around fancy labels, keep attacking... it doesn't really matter to me...
...well, honestly... sometimes it’s just better to sit in silence rather than trying to force an answer.... .....for the most part, you're always acting like you have the final word, and there's just no room for actual dialogue.... ....and that hits the nail on the head regarding the issue.....so many therapists out there act like they're some kind of infallible gods who can never be wrong, no matter what...... ....