rustymaker5 said:I tried taking Apauran just once, and that was only because my doctor suggested pairing it with another medication... I was shaking like I had been plugged directly into a high-voltage outlet, so yeah, I crossed those pills off my list forever. Honestly, the only thing that ever actually cured my insomnia was Hegel. There’s this one book of his—I can't recall the title off the top of my head—but one of the opening sentences was a literal page long. I never even made it past the first chapter...🙂
🤣🤣🤣
The body gets used to sedative or sleep meds really fast, and before you know it, you're needing more and more... it's definitely better to take them sparingly and switch things up every now and then.... ....for me, after trying various different ones and quickly building up a tolerance.... my doctor prescribed half a pill.... I took it around 9 PM..... I slept roughly from 10 PM until 8 AM, and then when I tried to get up to go to the bathroom.... I practically blacked out.... they told me I was twitching my legs uncontrollably.... the doctor showed up and was getting ready to rush me to the hospital right as I came to (after about 45 minutes) ..... later we realized I had accidentally taken a 50 mg dose instead of the 25 mg I was supposed to have... and apparently, that specific med is banned here in the USA...... I haven't touched anything that heavy ever since.... and I never take them back-to-back anymore.... only when I've gone multiple nights without any sleep at all....
That first big breakup after a long-term relationship? It absolutely guts you. You genuinely start thinking he’s the only one out there for you... that you’ll never feel that kind of love again... that the heartbreak might actually kill you. But honestly? Things tend to turn around much faster than you'd expect, and life gets better than it ever was before. Think about it this way: you're older now, and you've got more life under your belt. You know how to vet people better, and you aren't afraid to set actual boundaries. Pretty soon, you’ll find your rhythm again, and you'll actually start to appreciate having your own space and that sense of freedom. I'm assuming you're still pretty young, too... so just soak up that youth. Let yourself spread your wings and really take off. Don't go suffocating your soul by clinging to something that just holds you back and makes you feel insecure. And let's be real—he’s probably young, too. He might be looking for a change of pace, even if he still feels tied to you out of a sense of duty. Just take some time to sit with your thoughts, weigh everything, and then make your move.
Brandon Sullivan5 said:I’ve also given serious thought to kicking him out—just turning my back on him to see if it shakes him up a bit. But I worry that instead of stepping up, he might just dig his heels in even deeper, adopting that "I don't need anyone, I can take care of myself" attitude. It’s possible this entire situation is a reaction to losing his safety net; once his student benefits expired, he hit a wall. He hasn't passed a single class in two years, and with only a couple of exams left, he’s just stalling. Now that he’s been told plainly that enough is enough—that he either finishes his degree or finds a job because he shouldn't be living rent-free indefinitely—he's acting out like this. The thing is, I can't just evict him since he has rights to the apartment, and he’s incredibly sharp; he has a way of twisting every conversation to suit his own interests.
To be fair, he isn't a bad person at heart. He’s actually quite kind-hearted and sensitive, so you have to tread lightly around him. He’s always there for people and has a huge circle of friends, but it feels like he’s just terrified of facing the real world. To the outside observer, he puts on this tough guy persona, but internally, he knows right from wrong. He’s aware when he’s failing. For instance, there have been several times when he saw men harassing their girlfriends in public, and he was always the one insisting we step in to help. One time, a guy was aggressively tailgating someone in a car, and my brother actually rushed toward them, calling for his girlfriend to come over to join us—four strong guys against one person, the guy wouldn't have stood a chance. But she refused to help and just got in the car with the guy instead, leaving my brother absolutely shaken by how much he had worried about her. He truly is a good person, but he gets caught up in these messes because, in my opinion, he panics whenever he feels like he might fail at something. He then tries to mask that insecurity by acting tough. I need to find a way to help him redirect that drive for validation into something productive before it's too late.
Regarding those types of situations, yesterday when his mother refused to let him go, he snapped and said, "You have no idea what kind of people they are, I have to handle this." We were absolutely terrified. I was scared that the argument would escalate into something reckless, like him spiraling into a drinking binge and not making it home until dawn, which has happened so many times before. However, he actually made it back within an hour.
He won't discuss these matters with me; it’s almost as if he’s ashamed in my presence. He views my moral compass as naive, even going so far as to criticize a girl he felt sorry for, implying she wasn't as "good" as I am. He talks to his mother, though. Perhaps I should write him a letter and explain everything, even apologizing if I feel I’ve intruded on his personal struggles.
You definitely played a part in his struggles... let's be real here... Your brother loves playing the big man in front of others... that's why he wants to play the hero and save the girl in front of everyone... he needs that hero complex... which isn't necessarily a bad trait... but it's messy because he doesn't actually know what he's doing... saving people is noble, but associating with the mob? That's a dark path... ...You and his mom need to tell him that he needs to start "saving" you guys from his outbursts, his failed classes, and his drinking... Tell him that you, and his late father, would be so proud of him when he wanted to help that girl, back when he was focused on his studies and living a decent life... but that this current path—failing out, drinking, hanging with shady characters—makes you feel ashamed of him and yourselves... and that his father would surely feel the same... he wouldn't want to see his son acting like this... he would have expected him to be a real, responsible man, not some errand boy for criminals... ...And tell him straight up: you aren't going to sit by and watch him ruin his life with that crowd. Tell him you'll call the police on those guys and on him if you have to... better to deal with it now than wait until he loses his life over a few bucks.
Maybe give him a little shake-up... or just lean on him a bit with some pressure... ....I mean... if he’s really just a coward at heart... he’ll back down immediately...
Honestly, there are already way too many people on this planet as it is. If someone decides they just don't want to have kids... I think that's actually a really positive thing for everyone involved. The only real issue would be if someone actually hated children... or wanted to cause them harm...
Sophia Allen12 said:So, a friend of mine mentioned something the other day—apparently, he was reading this deep academic text that claimed you actually get to choose who you fall in love with, but you don't get a say in who you end up loving. It sounds so backwards to me, honestly! I would have sworn the exact opposite was true. I can't quite recall the title of the book, but it was something along the lines of "An Introduction to the Psychology of *Something*" 😁 Do we have any psychologists hanging out in here who can help me make sense of this? hehe
Falling in love isn't exactly something you can put under your control... but as for who you end up loving? Well, you might have a little more wiggle room there.🙂
So, according to my horoscope, I'm a Taurus... though I know Scorpions are out there... and I definitely give those folks a wide berth... then there's Pisces too... as for Capricorns, I haven't really heard much about them...
Amanda Myers3 said:Perfectionism is defined as the pursuit of flawlessness, where individuals strive for absolute excellence across all facets of life (Flett and Hewitt, 2002).
According to Slaney, Robert, et al. (1995), perfectionism is comprised of four distinct dimensions: - maintaining extremely high standards - orderliness - tendencies toward procrastination - interpersonal difficulties.
Modern psychological science distinguishes between adaptive and maladaptive perfectionism. Adaptive perfectionism involves setting high standards and values, whereas maladaptive perfectionism centers on the perception that one can never meet those lofty goals ("nothing is ever good enough").
Positive perfectionism involves thoughts and behaviors aimed at reaching high standards to achieve successful outcomes; it is driven by a desire for achievement and results in genuine satisfaction.
Negative perfectionism refers to thoughts and behaviors driven by the need to reach high standards simply to avoid negative consequences; it is fueled by fear of failure rather than a drive for success.
More recent conceptualizations divide perfectionism into two categories—perfectionistic strivings and perfectionistic concerns—while classifying individuals into three groups: healthy perfectionists, unhealthy perfectionists, and non-perfectionists.
While several theories attempt to explain the development of perfectionism, many have yet to undergo rigorous empirical testing.
This is a general discussion thread regarding perfectionism. It is intended for debating theoretical concepts, raising specific issues, sharing perspectives, or offering advice. Please adhere to the standard forum rules. Given that this thread was originally established in 2008, please check the timestamps before replying to ensure you aren't responding to ancient posts.
I am struggling with perfectionism... In my world, everything has to be flawless. I feel compelled to achieve constantly and be the best at everything I do—if I’m not, the activity stops being fun and just becomes frustrating. I also feel the need to look perfect (since I don't fit certain beauty ideals—I don't have a large bust or a curvy figure, and frankly, I hate my appearance). There is plenty more to list. I set incredibly high standards for myself, and even if I actually meet them, I just raise the bar even higher.
Is anyone else fighting this same battle? Or has anyone actually managed to overcome perfectionism?
I read a book recently that suggested we should allow ourselves to be average... but I have to ask: why would anyone consciously choose to be mediocre?
you don't really have a problem here... you're just bored...🙂
Roger Morgan4 said:For as long as I can remember, I’ve had this intense desire to stay covered up; I never wanted anyone to see me without clothes except for my immediate family. My earliest memories of this feeling stem from those frequent trips to the ER because of stomach issues. Even as a little kid—maybe four years old—I’d end up at the local hospital at least once a month because my stomach was hurting so badly. And, naturally, the doctor would ask my dad to help undress me so he could perform an exam. I felt so incredibly uncomfortable and exposed every single time. That feeling just persisted through my entire childhood and has stuck with me all the way into adulthood. By the time I hit puberty, I wouldn't even want to walk around in just a bra or without shorts in front of my mom and sister, which felt strange since neither of them seemed to struggle with anything like that.
I can certainly wrap my head around how these feelings might evolve later in life—you know, things involving body image or self-acceptance—but I truly cannot grasp why I felt this way when I was only four years old, just a tiny, fragile child. I haven't been able to find anything online that describes this specific experience, and I’m genuinely curious about what might be causing it. Perhaps someone said something to me back then that triggered this fear? I'd love to know if anyone else has gone through something similar.
And what was going on with your stomach... was it an actual diagnosed illness, or just random pains with no clear cause? Maybe there's a connection there somewhere...
So, what if you tried using sex as a way to tackle insomnia? Honestly, whenever I’m tossing and turning and just can't drift off, I find myself leaning into that particular "sport." Once you've finally worn yourself out from it, you'll be out like a light, sleeping just as soundly as a baby.
Look, I’m not exactly out here hunting for a hookup... though, honestly, it really depends on what we're talking about... ..If I'm struggling with how I relate to women, it would probably be a lot easier if I could talk to someone who actually understands that world from the inside... .I mean, if I'm sitting there on a date with a guy and feeling all shy and anxious because I'm actually gay, it’s tough. It's not that a straight woman couldn't give decent advice, but... ...or how a lesbian might be able to help me navigate my issues with men. It isn't impossible, obviously, but I just feel like I can trust someone more when they share that same perspective and orientation...
And honestly, things get way more complicated if I end up in therapy with some old-school, patriarchal psychologist when I don't subscribe to those traditional gender roles at all...
It's pretty clear that deep-seated beliefs about social roles are going to have a much bigger impact on how therapy goes than just someone's sexual orientation...
Heh... I mean, what about all the other languages? They’re probably going to land way lower... maybe around an 85 or 90... honestly, who cares about English anyway? 🙂
amberheron3 said:You really made my day. Reading your posts gave me such a good laugh that my mood instantly improved, even though my whole day was going terribly!😂😂😂
Now that you've finally escaped that place, don't you dare look back... 👏
Carl Adams4 said:So, just out of pure curiosity—and don't judge me for asking—does anyone here actually have this? Like, does anyone else deal with it? And if you do, how do you even process everything that hits you? It would be really cool if someone could open up a bit and describe what they’re going through personally and what their headspace is like right now.
You've got quite the curious streak... which is honestly a great thing to have. For me, though, I haven't found any kind of structure yet. Nothing feels organized on my end, let alone having some solid, reliable framework. I mean, how do you even go about building that kind of structure?