- Trust your gut. It’s rarely wrong, I guess. - Put yourself first. Just make sure you still respect the people who actually matter to you. - Learn how to actually like yourself. That’s where everything starts, maybe. - Get a handle on what you're actually good at. - Don't rush things. Don't be impatient. Just take life and its decisions one slow, steady step at a time.
I get the feeling you've tried tackling just about everything except actually working on yourself. Like, with some real intention and a clear goal. Everything starts within. You're at an age where you should probably realize that failing in your relationships and stuff isn't really about your looks.
You say you'd be fine being single, but clearly, it's eating at you. I guess you aren't nearly as okay with it as you claim to be. Maybe you should focus on some self-improvement. That might actually start reflecting in other areas of your life.
Casey Bennett said:I’m not entirely sure what you’re asking here. Hide your own threads so nobody sees them? That isn't really an option. You can't hide your own posts from view, but I guess you can always just stop following topics that don't interest you.
Right, so is it actually possible to hide older threads from my profile? You know, when someone clicks on my profile and looks at the list of everything I've posted or started. Thanks for the reply.
Hey everyone, I didn't want to clutter things up by starting a whole new thread, so I figured I'd just drop my question here. Is there actually a way to hide my open threads—or at least the older ones—so they aren't visible? If it's possible, could someone walk me through how that works? Thanks much.
Olivia Smith2 said:You're absolutely right. Ever since my episode happened, I lost so much confidence that I couldn't even hold a basic conversation with people. I wasted several years living in fear—just waiting for the next episode to hit. I would overanalyze every single thought from every possible angle, losing all faith in my own judgment and logic. That diagnosis ended up triggering some pretty intense self-stigma.
Ad can sometimes trigger a new episode. It’s rarely prescribed to people who have experienced or are prone to losing touch with reality.
I've started tackling some of my biggest fears lately, and I can say I'm feeling better. Significantly better. Though, being a bit of a pessimist, I can't help but wonder—how long will this feeling last? 😬
Thanks for the advice and the support. I’ve already started making some small moves. It’s moving at a decent pace so far—hopefully, everything works out fine. 🙂
Look, you’re where you are. If you don't start taking risks and stop hiding in your comfort zone, nothing is going to change. Honestly, the worst thing that could happen if you take this job is that it turns out to be a bad fit. But things aren't likely to get any worse than they already are. At least you'll have the experience. Maybe that's enough. And maybe doing this could actually help your current situation.
Focus is everything. People think they're moving on, but they’re really just obsessing over what they're trying to escape—or in your case, focusing on the diagnosis.
It’s just a label from one doctor. It doesn't define who you are. It’s just a circumstance. You’re still the same person you were before, and you’ll be someone else after this passes. You probably need to shift your focus and start building some new daily habits. I know that sounds impossible, or at least pretty damn hard, but it can be done.
I think there might be a mistake with the medication 🤔 And honestly, maybe those things are just weighing you down too much or keeping you stuck.
Another thing I've noticed is how much weight you're putting on this diagnosis. As long as you let it be this massive, defining thing in your life, it’s going to feel more powerful than you are. But in reality, it isn't. You're—and always will be—stronger than that. It’s just about figuring out how you function so you can get ahead of it. (If you've been seeing a therapist for a while now, maybe it's time for a change. You should have seen some progress by now.)
rapidmaker15 said:But how am I supposed to do that? I can't even figure out what I'd actually be dissatisfied with if I tried. I mean, I think anyone facing any kind of real-world problems would probably just laugh at my life
It's rare for someone to reach their own conclusions alone; you usually need to talk to someone who actually knows what they're doing. Nobody is born emotionally unavailable, I suppose. It’s kind of like how people develop phobias without having any clue why.
The truth is just that we don't all have the same capacity or intensity of emotion to give to another person. But that's a different conversation. It seems like you generally struggle with being close to people.
My question is: How can I be a good person without getting walked all over? People have taken advantage of my kindness and naivety way too many times.
The last time it happened was just a few months ago.
I was living in a small rental apartment. There was this older janitor in the building (he had some special needs). He was a great guy, seriously, he always helped me out, wasn't making much money, and lived in this run-down little shack. Anyway, I suddenly had a death in the family and ended up moving into a much bigger place. Since the old place was furnished, I told my former landlord he could give my stuff (TV, fridge, bed) to the janitor.
A few days ago, I called my old landlord because a coworker needed a place to crash for a couple of nights. Not only did he charge her an insane amount ( $333 for just 3 days, when I used to pay $200 plus utilities), but he actually sold all my stuff and didn't give a single thing to the janitor...
There have been plenty of other times where I've been used and ripped off.
What I want to know is, how do you carry yourself in life so things like this don't happen? I'm the type of person who would give someone the shirt off my back to help them through a hard time, but I almost always end up getting played.
Sent from my Huawei P30 using Reddit
This example isn't actually being exploited; it sounds more like just a poorly executed plan.
In that situation, you could have handled things personally, and then you would've been sure everything went where you intended.
If you're asking generally—as if this is a recurring pattern rather than a one-off—it's probably not exploitation, just a lack of smooth interaction on your part.
And honestly, being good is fine, but being a saint is just being a fool. 😁 You need to find your limit and set boundaries with certain people. Also, maybe don't expect everyone else to act the same way you do.
rapidmaker15 said:I’m 35 years old, and I just don't feel like I have enough emotional depth inside me. Naturally, that ends up bleeding into my personal life... To give you some context: I’m an extrovert—I have plenty of friends and I genuinely love being social. I enjoy meeting new people, I like being noticed, and I appreciate being liked by others. I’ve got several solid, long-term friendships under my belt. Despite all that, I can't stand it when people touch me, or when they get too deep into my personal space. I'm not into kissing, hugging, or even those overly affectionate little gestures. For me, a handshake is pretty much the limit of acceptable physical contact. When it comes to romantic relationships, things are slightly better, but I just can't seem to sustain a long-term connection. It’s hard for me to actually *like* someone enough to want something more, and even when I do find someone appealing, that feeling is never intense or strong enough to make me want to stay forever. As I've gotten older, these relationships seem to be getting shorter. It’s as if I simply lack the capacity to love with enough intensity—it feels like there’s an emotional void where those feelings should be. I don't have that urge to cuddle, nor do I feel the need to share my inner world with anyone. I love sex, but I view it more as a physical act rather than this whole "making love" process; my goal is just the physical release, which I enjoy purely for the sensation, not because I'm looking for a deeper bond—though, I suppose I could never bring myself to have a one-night stand with a stranger. Given how things are going, I’ll probably end up alone, and I’m honestly not sure if that’s what I actually want... how am I supposed to build an emotional connection with someone else when I haven't even managed to achieve that with my own inner circle?
You basically gave yourself the answer to your "problem." Until you're content with yourself in the areas that bother you, you're just going to keep looking for that fulfillment in other people. But it’ll never be enough, because you're dealing with a bottomless pit. Anyone trying to get someone else to fill a void inside themselves is never going to be satisfied, mostly because they haven't sorted things out on their own.
You should probably look back to whenever you first noticed this happening. All humans have a fundamental need for acceptance, attention, and love. That's why we have emotions in the first place.
You don't strike me as a psychopath, 😁 so I guess this is likely just a consequence of something you went through in your life.
Not really sure where this fits, so here goes. You guys might not get it. Ehh, how do I even start this? Back in High School, I hit a massive depressive slump—couldn't drag myself out of bed, couldn't focus on school, couldn't deal with friends. Plus, the classes at my school were incredibly dull. Just total depression. And then what happened? I bullied a few girls back then, and now, somehow, it’s like I can’t move forward in life. And I’m 30 now.
I’m talking about work. Finding a job feels impossible. I’m not exactly a "people person"—I get bored with things too fast—and the people I actually meet tend to avoid me or stop calling.
Can't find a decent guy either, just guys looking for sex. I could live for another 150 years and still not find anyone worth keeping.
I've held a few jobs, but they were all temporary gigs. At my last job, they treated me like garbage—constant criticism, making me feel small, just constant nonsense.
Even when I'm just walking down the street, I feel like I'm hearing sarcastic comments from everyone.
I honestly feel like all of this is happening because of those mean things I said in high school. Like karma. A boomerang hitting me in the face.
What do you think? Is this because of those messages from back then? For context, I started withdrawing into myself pretty early—around 7th grade. I just didn't want to hang out with anyone anymore. I even saw therapists, but nothing really helped.
When I graduated from High School, a few former classmates added me on Facebook just to verbally attack me. In the end, I was the one made to look like the villain again. Maybe it would have been smarter if I hadn't said anything to them.
I don't know. Is there anyone here who actually has an answer? Someone who can make sense of this?
To make a long story short, you need to work on your self-esteem and learning to actually like yourself. Just the fact that you think some childhood messages from years ago are "karma" for your current situation tells me enough about where you're "stuck."
It’ll probably be hard to fix this on your own. If you could have done it yourself, you would have by now. You likely need a professional who specializes in this area.
As long as you keep looking for someone else to blame—calling it karma—and accepting that you're just "unlucky," things aren't going to improve.
Kyle Lopez36 said:I am trying my best to be there for a friend going through a rough patch. He’s dealing with the fallout of a long-term breakup. I’ve been doing a lot of listening and offering advice, and I honestly thought we had made some real progress over the last couple of months.
Then, a few days ago, he starts telling me about this disastrous date he went on with someone new. He then goes on to describe how he reached out to his ex just to lash out at her, accusing her of seeing someone else and throwing all these other nasty insults her way.
It genuinely floored me—the sheer hypocrisy of him blaming his ex for the exact same things he is guilty of. He’s judging this new girl for being honest about her past struggles, even though he clearly hasn't dealt with his own baggage yet. He’s attacking his ex for moving on, despite the fact that he was the one calling her... I tried to listen patiently, but eventually, I had to cut him off. I asked him if he actually hears himself, or if he realizes he’s acting like a total jerk.
I want to understand him and help him, but I cannot wrap my head around how someone can take my advice on how to act like a decent, respectful human being and respond with, "What do I get out of it?"
I get that he’s hurting. I’m trying to balance active listening—not following some textbook method, mind you, just trying to be empathetic, recognize his emotions, and reflect back what he says—with giving advice since that's what he asks for. I’m not his therapist, so I feel like I’m taking on a bit of his burden by offering solutions I believe might actually work. I think I lost my cool when he dropped those antisocial comments. It isn't the first time he's said something incredibly out of line. The first time, I kept it light and used sarcasm to remind him that I’m his friend and want to support him, but added that if I were his ex, I’d probably punch him in the face because I know exactly how he treats her after a breakup. I didn't think I was being too harsh then because I managed to mask it with humor and stay in control. But this most recent outburst? I just blurted it out in pure disbelief, wondering if he even understood the nonsense he was spewing. I was just too shocked to handle it gracefully.
How do you all react in situations like this? How does a professional handle it when a client makes such blatantly antisocial statements, knowing a therapist can't really give their opinion unless it's extremely carefully packaged?
And how should I carry myself in a less formal relationship? On one hand, a friend wants to share his struggles with me, and I want to remain that safe space for him. On the other hand, he says things that are deeply antisocial to justify his behavior, and I don't know how to show him that his actions are fundamentally wrong without sounding patronizing or lecturing him on things he didn't ask for.
In our last conversation, I tried to frame it pragmatically: I told him he needs to approach new people with genuine interest, without expecting anything in return or dumping his own unresolved issues onto them—because, strictly speaking, that kind of body language and attitude gives him a better shot at getting what he wants. I was pushing him to see others as individuals for his own benefit, but I really want to find a way to explain that people deserve to be treated as humans, regardless of what we might gain from them, without coming across as a moralizing preacher... which I know won't work with him.
Please, help! Beyond helping me navigate this specific mess, I feel like this is a life skill I really need to master...
I suppose we have to assume everything is happening on an emotional level. And that’s usually the hardest part. A friend is hurting, and they haven't actually moved past the initial breakup phase yet.
The fact that they're seeing other people isn't about looking for love or a new partner; it's more about trying to numb the frustration and the sadness from the split. We all know that doesn't actually fix anything.
It's a cliché, I know, but giving it time is probably the only real solution.
In those moments, you just have to focus on yourself. Find a hobby, pick up work if you aren't busy, or maybe just try visiting places you've never been before.
The goal is to redirect your thoughts away from the bad stuff toward something new and constructive.
Eventually, as you work on yourself, things get easier. I guess the mind just needs to rest so it can start thinking clearly again. Then the emotions won't feel quite so overwhelming.
hiddenhound3 said:... if you were to cross paths with your own self, would you actually like the person looking back at you?
It is understood that this inquiry remains purely hypothetical. Let us attempt to envision a scenario where you encounter your true self in its purest form. What would be the very first thing you noticed about your own being, and what kind of impression would you leave upon yourself? Ultimately, would you find yourself to be someone you truly admire?
I think so. That’s pretty much why I bother working on myself. We spend our whole lives trying to be better versions of ourselves, and right now, I guess I'm satisfied enough.
I know I have my flaws. But I accept those same flaws in people I care about, so they aren't dealbreakers. Still, I'm working on them, maybe to get rid of them entirely one day.
Maybe just some fatigue or a lack of sleep. But what’s in this picture looks a bit more significant than just being tired. I mean, I’ve had stuff like this happen to me a few times, but nothing quite as intense as what we're seeing here. It was always just minor, so maybe it's something else entirely.
Regarding makeup, I guess I meant that wearing heavy foundation might not be the best move in these situations, since it would probably just make the area stand out even more.
Let’s be real, nobody on this planet actually has a perfectly symmetrical face. It varies from person to person, I guess; sometimes it just depends on how you do your makeup. The solution? Either accept that it’s normal or go get some plastic surgery.
It’s okay, I guess, but they stripped away too much substance. You pretty much see the whole plot coming from a mile away—there isn't much actual tension because you know exactly how it's going to end right from the start. It leans way too hard on the visual effects, which, to be fair, are decent. So, if you're looking for a movie that actually keeps you guessing, you should probably skip this one. 😁But if you just want to sit back and watch constant CGI, go ahead; honestly, that’s the only thing that makes it watchable.
Not really 😁 I’m a natural blonde, and if I don't get some color, I just end up looking pale and sickly... People used to joke about whether I actually had blood in my veins or something... (stupid people, always giving kids complexes 😁) Maybe you’re low on iron? I’ve struggled with that forever, but I could never seem to get my levels up.
Anyway, just hit up a tanning salon before summer hits, like I’m planning to ☕>😁
I was reading up on this, and it turns out one of the rare conditions that presents with symptoms similar to yours involves pressure in the lacrimal area—basically the tear duct region—within the brain. I guess I wonder if they’ve actually looked into that or at least brought it up during your appointments? It's an uncommon issue, but it can be pretty serious. Because it's so rare, doctors often miss it right away.
Just a heads-up, though: you can't always catch H. Plyori in a blood test or stool sample. I know a fair amount about this bacterium, and honestly, it usually just causes gastro issues and changes in bowel movements.
That feeling of a dumpling in your throat might just be tied to intense stress. It’s a nasty sensation, almost like you're choking.
Your circulation seems pretty poor. Do you work out at all, or maybe just squeeze in some light movement at home? Maybe your blood pressure is dropping suddenly due to circulation issues, which would explain the fatigue. I deal with chronic blood pressure problems myself, so I know how much that can wear you down.
Hannah Booth2 said:Hey everyone. I've been digging through this thread a bit. Regarding my breathing, I think my nose is mostly fine—one nostril is just slightly more congested than the other since they aren't symmetrical—but the snoring is still an issue and I can't figure out why. I already went for a checkup at the Mayo Clinic. My GP gave me a referral, and the specialists there basically told me my nasal passages are clear enough. They just gave me some drops and said everything looks okay. Still, I'm snoring, and I don't know what to do. It feels silly to keep going back to the GP just to get another referral to the Mayo Clinic only to hear the same thing. The thing is, I have a bump on my nose and it's crooked, so maybe it's better to just fix everything at once. I don't have the cash for a private surgeon right now, though, so I'm wondering if it's possible to get it done at a public hospital? Like, could you just call them up and ask for a rhinoplasty for both aesthetic reasons and breathing issues, and they'd charge you something like $1667 (just guessing)? That would be cheaper than going private. Is it actually possible to request surgery at a hospital without their initial recommendation?
No. In a public hospital, you can only get surgery if your condition is severe enough to make you a candidate. That only happens if it's medically necessary, and then they might tackle the aesthetics while they're at it. Anything else you've heard is probably just rumors. I guess if you have a really thick connection, anything is possible. 😁
And as for getting a consultation with a doctor or a surgeon at the hospital, you won't get anywhere without a referral from your primary care physician.
brightbadger16 said:So, that's how it works, I guess. Well, you have to start somewhere. I need to get on top of this, because honestly, these allergies can really make life miserable.
Doctors usually start with the smallest possible issues first. They'll probably keep digging until they hit something that actually requires surgery. Personally, I don't really deal with allergies, but when my doctor was checking me out, he wasn't quite sure if I needed an operation yet. He sent me for a nasal CT scan, and once he saw what was going on inside, he confirmed it. I guess if you actually have allergy problems, they’ll definitely try to fix those before jumping to anything else. 🙂
boldnomad45 said:Man, I’ve been dealing with sinus issues for five days now and I can't tell what's actually going on. My nose feels a little swollen, maybe, but I don't know. I guess it's hard to say how much visible bruising usually shows up after cosmetic surgery. You take a little pill and the fear just fades away. I guess you'll be asleep before you even realize what's happening.
Thanks for getting back to me. I feel a little better now, I guess. To be honest, needles scare the hell out of me more than anything else. 😁