Posts by crimsoncanyon2

I honestly want to know why certain users—myself included—are forced to tolerate all this "horrendous" behavior, yet instead of getting an actual ban or a penalty, I just get targeted? It feels like they’re just looking for any excuse to pick on me, whether it's through specific threads or by attacking my character.
Take this situation, for example.

Eric Gray2 said:Just report posts using the little triangle icon:

crimsoncanyon2, I’ve already warned you on several different threads. It isn't just you—your username is practically synonymous with these kinds of ad hominem attacks. If I catch you jumping down anyone else's throat again, you're looking at a three-day ban. I've already wiped dozens of your posts lately, and I'm done being patient. You can throw as many LOLs or smirking emojis as you want, but this PDF isn't your personal playground—these kind of jokes and antics aren't allowed, not for you and not for anyone else.

And of course, the post where another user was actually clarifying that I don't leave bitterness in my wake—trying to imply I'm actually a positive presence for the readers here—just vanished. Deleted at light speed.
Is this some kind of vendetta against me or what?
Look, if someone is going to be lectured or punished, there should be actual evidence left behind to justify it. Instead, they just wipe out a "sporadic" post and then try to paint me as some keyboard villain who's supposedly harassing poor, helpless users with everything I write...

Based on how the mods are commenting, it makes it look like I'm mocking people with illnesses or personal struggles—when in reality, most of the time I'm trying to help them or providing links to articles where they can find solutions for themselves.

Richard Taylor said:So, yeah—in theory, I’m trying to strip away the emotional ego stuff from how I communicate. It's that part of me that makes me take everything so personally, which, I guess, just kills my objectivity and messes with my ability to actually read a situation for what it is... and then react properly.
Thanks so much. If you or anyone else has any more advice on this, I’m all ears. Anything helps, really—because like I said, I genuinely want to work on those parts of my personality that end up sabotaging things, both for myself and for the people around me.

Whenever it comes down to any kind of emotional wound—whether it's real or just in your head—the old-school Americans have always taught me the best way to handle it is:
"Keep it in mind, then settle the score 😁 😉 ...when the timing is right... and never let yourself get too angry," rather than following the impulse to
"React, feel it all right now, and let the emotions drown you." 🙂
Smart people don't work that way.

Also, it isn't a bad idea to develop a sense of humor—sometimes being able to poke fun at your own flaws or complexes is a real sign of true self-confidence and self-acceptance.

Richard Taylor said:That makes much more sense, thank you. 😉
The thing is, I'm just a very emotional person, so words or actions from people close to me really sting—whereas I don't care at all about what strangers do.
When something hurts me like that, I tend to lash out in anger, and it's honestly exhausting. It actually hurts me more knowing I've upset someone I care about than being hurt myself, so I've decided I just can't live with that feeling anymore.

Do you think the mentalization process could help me stop injecting my own ego and emotions into every conversation, or do you have some other advice for that? Thanks in advance. 🙂

It can. Understanding how the mind works definitely helps you pull your "ego" out of the communication loop, but here's the catch—that same "ego" is exactly what allows you to recognize someone else's mental state by reflecting on your own thoughts and feelings. So, the real trick isn't getting rid of your "self," it's mastering both mentalization and self-awareness so you know exactly when to use which one. It's about knowing which tool is smarter to pull out of the box at any given moment.
There are certain reactions and mental states in other people—their behavior, their speech, their internal thoughts
that are basically universal, almost like they're straight out of a textbook. Then, of course, there are those highly specific quirks where everyone brings their own baggage to the table. Learning mentalization should help you distinguish between those standard, predictable behaviors and the weirdly specific ones—and eventually, you'll start seeing the sub-patterns within those specifics too.
That’s how you actually learn to read people.
You only need to push aside the "I" when you find yourself reacting or interpreting things based on your own hang-ups or internal conflicts. Your "self" is essentially your ego—your logic and reasoning—and without it, you wouldn't be able to function in society.

Richard Taylor said:I'm 22.
I think the real deciding factor—what sets us apart from those other traits mentioned above—is whether we actually enjoy it or not. Like I said, I really don't enjoy this. The fact that I'm out here looking for help shows I actually want to do something about it. I'm not looking for criticism—honestly, you wouldn't even be able to deal with me if you tried—but I would truly appreciate some concrete advice. That’s what I actually need.
Living with this is tough, and I'd be so grateful for anyone who genuinely wants to help.

And I have to poke at you a little bit just to see what gets under your skin—to see if anything actually does, and just how deep those stings go.😁
That kind of reaction is more than enough.
Honestly, I think you’re just going to have to learn how to shut down your own psyche.
One way to do that is through psychological analgesia—which happens when someone experiences such intense mental trauma (not just perceived slights, but genuine, malicious ones)
that they hit a state of total psychological shock. They just numb out and start reacting like a robot, which eventually leads to a shift where
their entire emotional perception of the world changes permanently. Basically, nothing touches them anymore; they move straight into pure survival mode.

The other way is what we call mentalization, which you have to master by actually getting to know yourself.
Since you mentioned that you take everything "personally," what you're dealing with might be a sort of hyper-reactivity—this tendency to vent through rage because of an injury that isn't even based in reality, but is part of some imagined construct, maybe stemming from some conscious or unconscious complex or whatever.

Meanwhile, with the older woman—the second commenter here—it's probably a case of external irritability caused by internal affect, conflict, or impulse. She likely vents that through anger and practically lives for the chance to lash out at someone, which is why she "enjoys" it, as she puts it—because it feels like a release.

Nathan Foster4 said:This sounds exactly like my old man.
Except he actually loves doing it.
And honestly, I’m surprised nobody has called the cops on him yet for making all that noise. Why should everyone else be forced to listen just because he needs to vent his latest mood swing?
We haven't said anything, mostly because we've just learned to tune him out, but someone really should.
People like this should be hit with heavy fines.

God, those types of people are incredibly grating—and it's not even about the anger itself, it's just this constant, excessive overreacting to everything.
I honestly don't know how most of them lack any sense of how they look to other people when they have these kinds of emotional outbursts. 🤷
They should probably just be grateful anyone wants to spend a single day with them instead of having to endure them through an entire relationship.

I was with my ex for something like 7 years, and what first drew me to him was his sense of humor and how chill he was; in all those years, we only had maybe 3 or 4 real arguments, which our friends thought was almost unbelievable. But once things reached a breaking point 🙂 vs. 🙂 🙂

,that last time, it was finally over.
Normally, we were both pretty laid back, and just as I couldn't stand someone being perpetually worked up and projecting their drama onto me—ruining my peace and my mood every single day—he wouldn't either...

But being with someone who is constantly obsessing, interrogating, misinterpreting everything, and forcing you to explain yourself over and over again? God, no thanks. Not a chance.

Though, I have to admit, back when I was a teenager, I was also super argumentative and sensitive. 😁

Richard Taylor, how old are you?
Don't take offense at what I wrote above—I'm being a bit indirect and maybe a little provocative—but I honestly think you could use some kind of course on mentalizing, just to learn how to actually step into someone else's head. You need to understand *why* someone thinks, says, or does something, and whether they actually mean it the way they do, while also getting to know yourself enough to realize why you might be interpreting something a certain way (let's assume wrongly)

Richard Taylor said:I’ve struggled with this for as long as I can remember—it’s especially bad when it comes to the people I actually care about. The root of it all, I think, is that I just don't know how to separate my own ego and emotions from a conversation. Everything feels deeply personal to me. When it involves my loved ones, it gets even more intense. Because I'm so overly sensitive, I end up picking fights over the smallest things. Once an argument starts, the anger just... builds. It feeds on itself, and I find myself getting sucked into this loop where I feel like I have to go on the defensive, even if nobody is actually attacking me. When the rage really escalates, I lose it. I get loud, I get aggressive, I say hurtful things—my whole face just reflects that fury. In those moments, I can't seem to pull myself back; the emotion just takes over, even though a part of me is standing there secretly wondering why I'm acting like this. It's like once it hits, I lose control, especially with the people closest to me. I’m constantly clashing with my family at home and with my boyfriend—we've been together for a while now, and the friction is constant. I know I'm the one at fault here. I truly want to fix this—for my own sake and for the people I love. I don't want to hurt anyone else with my outbursts anymore.
Please help!

I could tell that from this part of your post. 😁
I tend to take things personally quite often too, but it doesn't change how I react—I just shut up, deal with it, and then turn around and walk away.

shadowpanther10 said:If he’s doing this consciously, he’s likely trying to force his way into a larger social circle. It looks like a power play—trying to establish himself as a dominant figure by imposing his presence on others while simultaneously attempting to embed himself with the masses.

The root cause could be anything. He might be unhappy with his current social standing, or perhaps he’s dealing with local friction or enemies in his immediate circle. There’s even a chance it stems from dissatisfaction in his personal life, leading him to mimic (poorly) certain behaviors he thinks will guarantee him success.

If you want to pin down exactly why he acts this way, try testing him next time you have to shake his hand.
Offer your hand with the palm slightly upturned and give him a grip that’s just a bit firmer than his. The next time, do the same thing, but go a step further: grab his hand with your other hand or give him a pat on the shoulder.
Regardless, make sure you maintain direct eye contact during the handshake.
Watch his reaction during and immediately after the interaction. Pay close attention to how he handles every subsequent handshake.
If his behavior doesn't make sense to you, post your observations here.
As a last resort, just ask him straight out why he does it and tell him how odd it seems.
Just watch closely how he reacts and what he says.

Meadow the elite 🤣 🤣 🤣

shadowpanther10 said:If he’s doing this consciously, he’s likely trying to force his way into a larger social circle. It looks like a power play—trying to establish himself as a dominant figure by imposing his presence on others while simultaneously attempting to embed himself with the masses.

The root cause could be anything. He might be unhappy with his current social standing, or perhaps he’s dealing with local friction or enemies in his immediate circle. There’s even a chance it stems from dissatisfaction in his personal life, leading him to mimic (poorly) certain behaviors he thinks will guarantee him success.

If you want to pin down exactly why he acts this way, try testing him next time you have to shake his hand.
Offer your hand with the palm slightly upturned and give him a grip that’s just a bit firmer than his. The next time, do the same thing, but go a step further: grab his hand with your other hand or give him a pat on the shoulder.
Regardless, make sure you maintain direct eye contact during the handshake.
Watch his reaction during and immediately after the interaction. Pay close attention to how he handles every subsequent handshake.
If his behavior doesn't make sense to you, post your observations here.
As a last resort, just ask him straight out why he does it and tell him how odd it seems.
Just watch closely how he reacts and what he says.

Someone with that kind of status wasting their breath among the nobodies. 🤣 🤣

shadowpanther10 said:If he’s doing this consciously, he’s likely trying to force his way into a larger social circle. It looks like a power play—trying to establish himself as a dominant figure by imposing his presence on others while simultaneously attempting to embed himself with the masses.

The root cause could be anything. He might be unhappy with his current social standing, or perhaps he’s dealing with local friction or enemies in his immediate circle. There’s even a chance it stems from dissatisfaction in his personal life, leading him to mimic (poorly) certain behaviors he thinks will guarantee him success.

If you want to pin down exactly why he acts this way, try testing him next time you have to shake his hand.
Offer your hand with the palm slightly upturned and give him a grip that’s just a bit firmer than his. The next time, do the same thing, but go a step further: grab his hand with your other hand or give him a pat on the shoulder.
Regardless, make sure you maintain direct eye contact during the handshake.
Watch his reaction during and immediately after the interaction. Pay close attention to how he handles every subsequent handshake.
If his behavior doesn't make sense to you, post your observations here.
As a last resort, just ask him straight out why he does it and tell him how odd it seems.
Just watch closely how he reacts and what he says.

You're clearly quite the psychologist—you nailed the description of the person I was starting to vent about 👍
I couldn't have put it better myself 🙂

Alex Walker5 said:What is your relationship with your father like?
What are you grateful to him for?
Is there anything you resent?
Do you struggle with an Electra complex? Do you have any sexual fantasies involving your father?
As men, do you deal with an Oedipus complex?
Have you ever felt the urge to kill your father?
Would you describe him as an authority figure, a friend, a stranger, someone worthy of contempt or pity, or a loving father whom you love in return?

The older, thinner, weaker, and more hunched over he gets, the better life becomes for me. 😁
Like a lion that’s lost all its teeth and claws...

And honestly, I think my favorite part will be when he finally needs a cane—unless, of course, he decides to use it to beat me with instead. 🤣

Larry Lewis said:It’s quite simple, really—you just love the feel of it, and there isn't much else to say about it.🤷

So, I guess your ideal scenario is someone having to hit the bathroom fifteen times a day? Just because they say, "Oh, he doesn't have Chronov, he just likes emptying his gut," is that how you see it?🤣 🤣

Lawrence Reyes46 said:From where I’m sitting, that’s pretty much all you ever do on this forum anyway.😬

Honestly, I feel like taking that attitude into my real life too 😍
I'm just totally fed up with being serious all the time—I haven't been paid enough to deal with this level of gravity for a long while now 🤣

Oh yeah, that moderator was always rambling on about his cousin—where she works, what she does, all the little favors she does for him. Honestly, you could write a whole novel just about "The Cousin"...
but I won't, because that same > told me I should probably watch what I say on this forum, implying some random people might actually come after me.
And I'm just sitting here thinking: What did I even do 😕 🤔 ??
Anyway, whatever that threat was supposed to mean, only Bog knows... or maybe the entire forum 🤣 🤣

Who knows, maybe that’s how all those handshake enthusiasts talk and think 🤔

God, I am so incredibly relieved I don't have to look at that guy anymore 😍 🙏 😍

And let's not forget, he was constantly bragging about having aristocratic roots—or at least being descended from some old-money estates 🤣 🤣

I’m starting to get back into chatting again, but not about those topics that just fry your brain,
more like just some casual, lighthearted small talk 😁

I actually know someone just like that—well, I had the misfortune of meeting them once. If you were to draw up a psychological profile, you’d probably label them a total drama queen (or, let's be real, a complete hysteric). They’re obsessed with being center stage. They’ll flash you this huge, beaming smile right to your face, acting like you’re their absolute best friend or some long-lost pal, but then, literally five minutes later, they’re viciously gossiping about you as if you were their mortal enemy or the lowest form of life on Earth. They carry themselves like they’re this ultimate pillar of morality, intellect, and talent—someone everyone else just can't seem to "reach"—only to immediately tear that whole persona down by spilling disgusting details about people's private lives. They constantly mix up names, too, and they have this infuriating habit of flipping between formal and overly familiar language mid-sentence.

It seems to me that the handshake is just a way for them to perform their manufactured importance—you know, like how in those big Hollywood movies, important VIPs always exchange handshakes during encounters.
In this guy's case, I bet he’d even offer a firm handshake to a twelve-year-old child—just so he could grace them with the "honor" of his presence and self-importance.

ironrider11 said:maybe {better} stimulation instead of deprivation.. 😁

Ugh, as soon as I see the words MKUltra, I'm instantly fired up.🤣

ironrider11 said:Maybe it’s not even a bad thing? The real question is where that ["I just can't be bothered.. happens way too often.."] feeling actually comes from. As for being isolated... hmm.. debatable..

..an absolute dream come true... 🤣
The only thing missing is some light sensory deprivation—then he’d really be living the high life. 🤣

Hey 🙂
Is there any way to change my dead-as-a-rock tag to
crimsoncanyon2? Honestly, I feel like everything is just stuck in stone at this point... 😍?

Since we can't add special characters and can only swap out the first word, maybe someone could reach out to Nice about it.

quietviper27 said:Could you ever see yourself being in a relationship with someone who was just completely naive?

Absolutely not—they need to be sharp, if not significantly sharper than I am.
Sure, if they were a bit clueless back when they were kids, I can overlook that—it's part of growing up.
But being a lifelong naive soul? No way. That’s a dealbreaker.
Only Regina could pull that off... Katalenić 🤣 🤣

Brian Thomas2 said:Well, I suppose one might argue that the very first impression you receive of someone essentially constructs an entire, unyielding portrait of their character. That is, at least, how I tend to interpret this whole "halo effect" phenomenon, if you will.

Look, there are certain people who immediately pigeonhole others based on specific templates—traits they see, how someone reacts, or just a snippet of their thoughts.
Then you have the other type—people who take a couple of tiny details and build an entire persona around them, simply because those small traits remind them of someone else they already know.
If the person judging is actually sharp, they'll spot the similarities but also notice the deviations; they'll create a new category for you—a blend of characteristics they haven't seen together before—and recognize a unique personality. But the less intelligent types? They’ll just double down on the similarities, ignore the differences entirely, and then rationalize it by saying, "Yeah, that's definitely just how they are, I'm sure of it," and so on.

Let's say you're having a rough day—you've got hormonal breakouts, you tripped and dropped your purse in a puddle, your makeup isn't sitting right, and you just found out your tax refund is delayed—and then you go grab coffee with some random stranger from an online forum.
No, honey, no sane person is going to judge your entire character based on that. And if they do? Well, let them. That's their problem, not yours.

Brian Thomas2 said:One particular individual seems quite convinced that she has me completely figured out, which is rather curious considering I can't even recall if we've spent more than thirty minutes in the same room. It involves some folks from this forum, actually. They happened to catch me at my absolute worst—you know, during one of those rough patches—and they immediately jumped to the conclusion that I desperately need professional help.

I don't want to sound big-headed, but even I—someone whom everyone, or let's not generalize, most people in my actual life say is incredibly good at reading people—can't judge someone's entire personality just by reading their posts on a forum, much less after a mere half-hour of direct contact.
The funniest thing about this forum is the sheer certainty some people have when they write something; it’s just pure projection and all that nonsense from self-proclaimed "experts." Hardly anyone considers that people post on certain threads simply because they're bored, or because they love to hear themselves talk, or because they have no idea how to kill an hour or two, or they're just posting to post. Or maybe they jump on every new thread like a puppy chasing a treat, or hoping to catch the eye of someone they fancy—and for all we know, they might not even believe half the stuff they type.

In fact, the whole place is basically a playground for manipulation.

And I especially love reading when they target someone outside their little circle or someone with an unconventional opinion, and then they start handing out clinical diagnoses like they're experts—and I'm not talking about doctors with PhDs and twenty years of medical experience. Most of the time, it's just a group of people who can't even figure out how to search for a term on Google, let alone translate a simple sentence accurately, much less tackle a complex topic.

Thankfully, I've never felt the need to meet anyone from this forum in person.

Brian Thomas2 said:That’s just how things seem on the surface, I suppose. But really, how much accuracy can we actually expect from such things, and does it even truly matter in the grand scheme of life? I mean, if you happen to be, say, somewhat spirited or perhaps a bit too high-energy during a first encounter, does that necessarily define your entire essence as a person? I suspect it doesn't, yet here I am. It happened to me, quite clearly, and now I find myself being unfairly characterized as some sort of relentless harasser.

The whole "halo effect" thing is flawed.
Everyone I know tells me I’m an incredible judge of character and profiles. People constantly come to me for advice before jumping into a relationship—asking me to predict how things will end, where they might lead, what someone is actually like, what drives them, what makes them happy, or what their true intentions are. But honestly? I need at least 45 minutes of solid conversation with that person, plus I need to observe them at least a few times—seeing how they act when they're stressed versus when they're being spontaneous, or how they interact with people they like versus people they don't—before I can actually gauge who they are.
At the same time, most people misread me as this incredibly laid-back, indifferent person, when in reality, I’m only "chill" regarding things that don't interest me or aren't important to me. Deep down, I'm a total melancholic.

A Californian, though, would probably say I’m a sanguine type, because their sense of humor keeps my mood up and my outlook bright.
...Anyway, how someone perceives you depends way more on the person doing the judging than it does on you—unless we're talking about extreme personalities...

In California, for instance, it’s totally normal for people to be more temperamental, confident, and loud than folks up north. If they aren't like that—if they're just "normal" like most people—they get called repressed or awkward. Meanwhile, in a place like San Jose or Des Moines, that exact same level of confidence and presence would get you labeled as arrogant.

So, you always have to consider who is doing the evaluating.

I once witnessed a car accident in Washington, D.C., where a woman driving a car with local plates rolled backward into a traffic light and slammed hard into the car behind her—a guy driving a car with plates from a Southern state—leaving his vehicle pretty banged up.
The guy hopped out, absolutely livid and swearing his head off, complete with all those classic Southern hand gestures. Meanwhile, the lady called both the police and an ambulance, even though nobody was hurt at all and they were both just standing there on the street.
He looked like a total lunatic and a freak, simply because he reacted in a way that nobody in his home state would have viewed as a serious situation—not the woman, and certainly not the man—but she acted like her life was on the line.
I don't know what happened next because I crossed the street, but that scene is burned into my brain.

So, that's my take on perceptions and temperaments.

Donna Johnson16 said:movement isn't actually vital for the human body—if it were, we wouldn't all be biologically wired to toss and turn while we sleep

👏 👏 👏 👏
what a brilliant take