Alright, look—if we’re being honest, there are a few ways this could go south, and frankly, they all sound like a total disaster waiting to happen:
She’s just shaking it off because she knows you don't respect her—or maybe it's because you crossed her once before and now you're all just sitting there, staying silent, and letting it slide. It's pathetic, really. By refusing to say anything, you're basically handing her a signed confession that you were in the wrong all along.
Look, she’s got zero self-control—just completely reactive and overly sensitive. Plus, she lacks that basic ability to mentalize, you know? She can't accurately read or interpret how other people are reacting, failing to realize those reactions are actually driven by what's going on in their heads... but hey, I'm sure that's not the problem at all.
Anger is being weaponized here—it’s being used as a tool for manipulation just to get what she wants. And honestly, looking at how everyone keeps folding or playing nice just to quiet her down or shut up the noise, I’m almost certain that’s exactly what’s happening. It's pretty obvious.
She’s looking for something different—some other kind of fabric entirely—rather than sticking to what your family produces. Honestly? That’s also a possibility.
Look, people need to realize that humans aren't all that different from animals when it comes to survival—we all have these ingrained, habitual patterns we fall back on. It’s just how we operate. We develop these specific methods to get what we want, and once those tactics start yielding us some kind of significant advantage or benefit, we stick to them like glue. It becomes a loop.
If someone is actually turning a profit by throwing temper tantrums, they aren't going to stop—they’re going to lean into it. Look, if you reward those outbursts by giving them exactly what they want or helping them hit their target, all you’re doing is reinforcing the behavior. You're basically handing them a roadmap for how to keep acting out to get their way.
Daniel Castillo5 said:Hello everyone.
I am struggling.
My nineteen-year-old sister has exhibited incredible outbursts of rage for the past four or five years—the kind where you simply stand there in disbelief that your own sibling is behaving this way—every single time our family attempts to communicate with her. If things do not go exactly her way, whether it involves a significant life decision like choosing a college major or a trivial matter such as oversleeping an alarm or asking someone to run to the store for cigarettes, she descends into a state reminiscent of the girl from Exorcist. It involves hysteria, slamming doors, screaming, and profanity so severe that it leaves me, as the older sibling, feeling utterly shaken.
Naturally, the blame is placed upon us, her family, because we are deemed insensitive for failing to cater to her every whim, which supposedly forces her to explode.
What I find most frightening is her assertion that she loves this rage, claiming it is an intrinsic part of her identity that she cannot, or will not, fight against. I have never encountered such a sentiment before and struggle to comprehend it. I do not understand how she perceives any positivity in such fury. For years, we have explained how much her behavior devalues and hurts us, noting that her actions tear at the very fabric of our family. Her response is simply to tell us to cope and adapt, to which I respond that I am already adapting to her constant insults.
The first issue is that while she has agreed to see a psychiatrist, she insists she will not actively work on managing her anger because she does not wish to lose it.
The second issue concerns what approach to take before she sees a professional. At home, we tend to walk on eggshells to avoid triggering her, which has resulted in her becoming extremely spoiled; she receives almost everything she asks for, even if her requests aren't unreasonable. For instance, if she asks nicely, we might drive her to a workout session when she doesn't feel like walking. I believe a sound method would be to implement a trial period where we cease all concessions—all the services and gestures we provide out of love. This would allow her to finally experience the reality of being refused by others. However, I fear this would trigger a reaction more violent than anything we have seen, and I worry about her safety during such an episode. Is there any alternative approach? We cannot hold a conversation with her; within five minutes, the rage begins to surface, and she simply walks away once she realizes we intend to discuss her temper.
The third issue is determining whom to turn to. What kind of specialist should we seek? This transcends simple anger management, as she is also battling depression that stems from the volatility of her own emotions.
Thank you for listening to me; my only desire is to help my sister.
Regards
It’s pretty obvious—she’s doing it because it actually helps her hit her targets within the system. In this case, she’s playing the game within her own family where everyone just caters to her whims. And the kicker? She hasn't felt a single negative consequence for her behavior—or even because of it. Not one.
Are you all just letting her treat you like literal punching bags? It’s like you're all just sitting there acting as her designated venting outlets—just open targets for her to dump all that noise onto.
It’s not like they’re actually suffering any direct harm just because they're throwing a fit, right?
Daniel Castillo5 said:Hello everyone.
I am struggling.
My nineteen-year-old sister has exhibited incredible outbursts of rage for the past four or five years—the kind where you simply stand there in disbelief that your own sibling is behaving this way—every single time our family attempts to communicate with her. If things do not go exactly her way, whether it involves a significant life decision like choosing a college major or a trivial matter such as oversleeping an alarm or asking someone to run to the store for cigarettes, she descends into a state reminiscent of the girl from Exorcist. It involves hysteria, slamming doors, screaming, and profanity so severe that it leaves me, as the older sibling, feeling utterly shaken.
Naturally, the blame is placed upon us, her family, because we are deemed insensitive for failing to cater to her every whim, which supposedly forces her to explode.
What I find most frightening is her assertion that she loves this rage, claiming it is an intrinsic part of her identity that she cannot, or will not, fight against. I have never encountered such a sentiment before and struggle to comprehend it. I do not understand how she perceives any positivity in such fury. For years, we have explained how much her behavior devalues and hurts us, noting that her actions tear at the very fabric of our family. Her response is simply to tell us to cope and adapt, to which I respond that I am already adapting to her constant insults.
The first issue is that while she has agreed to see a psychiatrist, she insists she will not actively work on managing her anger because she does not wish to lose it.
The second issue concerns what approach to take before she sees a professional. At home, we tend to walk on eggshells to avoid triggering her, which has resulted in her becoming extremely spoiled; she receives almost everything she asks for, even if her requests aren't unreasonable. For instance, if she asks nicely, we might drive her to a workout session when she doesn't feel like walking. I believe a sound method would be to implement a trial period where we cease all concessions—all the services and gestures we provide out of love. This would allow her to finally experience the reality of being refused by others. However, I fear this would trigger a reaction more violent than anything we have seen, and I worry about her safety during such an episode. Is there any alternative approach? We cannot hold a conversation with her; within five minutes, the rage begins to surface, and she simply walks away once she realizes we intend to discuss her temper.
The third issue is determining whom to turn to. What kind of specialist should we seek? This transcends simple anger management, as she is also battling depression that stems from the volatility of her own emotions.
Thank you for listening to me; my only desire is to help my sister.
Regards
Even among people actually seeking psychotherapy, there’s this persistent, stubborn belief that you go to a psychiatrist to fix your mental health—not to intentionally dismantle your own functional life just so you can manipulate everyone around you.
Let’s be honest—even the patients are nothing more than opportunists who only ever look out for themselves.
Daniel Castillo5 said:Hello everyone.
I am struggling.
My nineteen-year-old sister has exhibited incredible outbursts of rage for the past four or five years—the kind where you simply stand there in disbelief that your own sibling is behaving this way—every single time our family attempts to communicate with her. If things do not go exactly her way, whether it involves a significant life decision like choosing a college major or a trivial matter such as oversleeping an alarm or asking someone to run to the store for cigarettes, she descends into a state reminiscent of the girl from Exorcist. It involves hysteria, slamming doors, screaming, and profanity so severe that it leaves me, as the older sibling, feeling utterly shaken.
Naturally, the blame is placed upon us, her family, because we are deemed insensitive for failing to cater to her every whim, which supposedly forces her to explode.
What I find most frightening is her assertion that she loves this rage, claiming it is an intrinsic part of her identity that she cannot, or will not, fight against. I have never encountered such a sentiment before and struggle to comprehend it. I do not understand how she perceives any positivity in such fury. For years, we have explained how much her behavior devalues and hurts us, noting that her actions tear at the very fabric of our family. Her response is simply to tell us to cope and adapt, to which I respond that I am already adapting to her constant insults.
The first issue is that while she has agreed to see a psychiatrist, she insists she will not actively work on managing her anger because she does not wish to lose it.
The second issue concerns what approach to take before she sees a professional. At home, we tend to walk on eggshells to avoid triggering her, which has resulted in her becoming extremely spoiled; she receives almost everything she asks for, even if her requests aren't unreasonable. For instance, if she asks nicely, we might drive her to a workout session when she doesn't feel like walking. I believe a sound method would be to implement a trial period where we cease all concessions—all the services and gestures we provide out of love. This would allow her to finally experience the reality of being refused by others. However, I fear this would trigger a reaction more violent than anything we have seen, and I worry about her safety during such an episode. Is there any alternative approach? We cannot hold a conversation with her; within five minutes, the rage begins to surface, and she simply walks away once she realizes we intend to discuss her temper.
The third issue is determining whom to turn to. What kind of specialist should we seek? This transcends simple anger management, as she is also battling depression that stems from the volatility of her own emotions.
Thank you for listening to me; my only desire is to help my sister.
Regards
Going no contact is a solid strategy—it really is—but you have to be incredibly careful not to let them drag you back into a debate about the method itself. That’s exactly what they want. You can't fall for those attempts at manipulation where they try to weaponize things from the past just to play the victim. They’ll try to amplify your guilt or straight-up harass you until you cave or at least take a "temporary break" from your boundaries. Don't fall for it. Every single time you bend or make an exception, it's a total failure—they win, and you lose.
crimsoncanyon2: "I don't know about you all, but I am absolutely losing my mind over this latest mess. It’s like nobody in charge actually gives a damn about how things work on the ground. We see these massive corporations—think ExxonMobil or big tech giants out of Silicon Valley—acting like they own the place while the rest of us just deal with the fallout. It’s frustrating, honestly. You try to follow the rules, you play by the book, and yet the goalposts just keep shifting. Is anyone else feeling this level of burnout, or am I just shouting into the void here?"
Daniel Castillo5 said:Hello everyone.
I am struggling.
My nineteen-year-old sister has exhibited incredible outbursts of rage for the past four or five years—the kind where you simply stand there in disbelief that your own sibling is behaving this way—every single time our family attempts to communicate with her. If things do not go exactly her way, whether it involves a significant life decision like choosing a college major or a trivial matter such as oversleeping an alarm or asking someone to run to the store for cigarettes, she descends into a state reminiscent of the girl from Exorcist. It involves hysteria, slamming doors, screaming, and profanity so severe that it leaves me, as the older sibling, feeling utterly shaken.
Naturally, the blame is placed upon us, her family, because we are deemed insensitive for failing to cater to her every whim, which supposedly forces her to explode.
What I find most frightening is her assertion that she loves this rage, claiming it is an intrinsic part of her identity that she cannot, or will not, fight against. I have never encountered such a sentiment before and struggle to comprehend it. I do not understand how she perceives any positivity in such fury. For years, we have explained how much her behavior devalues and hurts us, noting that her actions tear at the very fabric of our family. Her response is simply to tell us to cope and adapt, to which I respond that I am already adapting to her constant insults.
The first issue is that while she has agreed to see a psychiatrist, she insists she will not actively work on managing her anger because she does not wish to lose it.
The second issue concerns what approach to take before she sees a professional. At home, we tend to walk on eggshells to avoid triggering her, which has resulted in her becoming extremely spoiled; she receives almost everything she asks for, even if her requests aren't unreasonable. For instance, if she asks nicely, we might drive her to a workout session when she doesn't feel like walking. I believe a sound method would be to implement a trial period where we cease all concessions—all the services and gestures we provide out of love. This would allow her to finally experience the reality of being refused by others. However, I fear this would trigger a reaction more violent than anything we have seen, and I worry about her safety during such an episode. Is there any alternative approach? We cannot hold a conversation with her; within five minutes, the rage begins to surface, and she simply walks away once she realizes we intend to discuss her temper.
The third issue is determining whom to turn to. What kind of specialist should we seek? This transcends simple anger management, as she is also battling depression that stems from the volatility of her own emotions.
Thank you for listening to me; my only desire is to help my sister.
Regards
"Ha, if you don't want to live, just go kill yourself"—delivered with this cold, total indifference—mostly because I doubt they’d actually have the guts to follow through.
Depression is just anger turned inward—it’s a slow burn. Anger directed outward? That’s an entirely different beast altogether.
Daniel Castillo5 said:Hello everyone.
I am struggling.
My nineteen-year-old sister has exhibited incredible outbursts of rage for the past four or five years—the kind where you simply stand there in disbelief that your own sibling is behaving this way—every single time our family attempts to communicate with her. If things do not go exactly her way, whether it involves a significant life decision like choosing a college major or a trivial matter such as oversleeping an alarm or asking someone to run to the store for cigarettes, she descends into a state reminiscent of the girl from Exorcist. It involves hysteria, slamming doors, screaming, and profanity so severe that it leaves me, as the older sibling, feeling utterly shaken.
Naturally, the blame is placed upon us, her family, because we are deemed insensitive for failing to cater to her every whim, which supposedly forces her to explode.
What I find most frightening is her assertion that she loves this rage, claiming it is an intrinsic part of her identity that she cannot, or will not, fight against. I have never encountered such a sentiment before and struggle to comprehend it. I do not understand how she perceives any positivity in such fury. For years, we have explained how much her behavior devalues and hurts us, noting that her actions tear at the very fabric of our family. Her response is simply to tell us to cope and adapt, to which I respond that I am already adapting to her constant insults.
The first issue is that while she has agreed to see a psychiatrist, she insists she will not actively work on managing her anger because she does not wish to lose it.
The second issue concerns what approach to take before she sees a professional. At home, we tend to walk on eggshells to avoid triggering her, which has resulted in her becoming extremely spoiled; she receives almost everything she asks for, even if her requests aren't unreasonable. For instance, if she asks nicely, we might drive her to a workout session when she doesn't feel like walking. I believe a sound method would be to implement a trial period where we cease all concessions—all the services and gestures we provide out of love. This would allow her to finally experience the reality of being refused by others. However, I fear this would trigger a reaction more violent than anything we have seen, and I worry about her safety during such an episode. Is there any alternative approach? We cannot hold a conversation with her; within five minutes, the rage begins to surface, and she simply walks away once she realizes we intend to discuss her temper.
The third issue is determining whom to turn to. What kind of specialist should we seek? This transcends simple anger management, as she is also battling depression that stems from the volatility of her own emotions.
Thank you for listening to me; my only desire is to help my sister.
Regards
Look, your little girl is practically an adult at this point. Maybe there are things that would actually benefit her more than sitting on a psychiatrist's couch—things like building actual emotional connections with people her own age, discovering her sexuality, and all that stuff.
Honestly, a psychiatrist wouldn't be a bad choice either—especially if they happen to be from the rural Midwest. Those folks generally have a knack for discipline, mental maneuvering, and a healthy dose of Machiavellian psychology.
When you’re dealing with those manipulative types in therapy, you aren't going to find much help from the psychiatrists who spend all their time buried in deep analysis or trying to interpret every little feeling. Honestly? The ones who actually get through to them are the therapists who have a bit of a manipulative streak themselves—not in some dark, malicious way, obviously, but more in that educational, "tough love" sense where they guide the behavior by outmaneuvering the patient.
Kate Young3 said:I honestly think she’s just weaponizing that rage to get her way. Seriously—dealing with someone who pulls those massive, totally unhinged temper tantrums is exhausting, it literally drains the life out of you. If she can pull this off every single day, then let’s be real: she knows exactly what she’s doing and she’s got it down to a science. My advice? Just let her rage. Don't walk on eggshells, don't baby her, and don't go running to fix things—just let her deal with the consequences herself. Stop reacting to it entirely. That's the only way she'll realize her little outbursts aren't getting her anything, and maybe—just maybe—she'll stop using them as a tool. By coddling her and hovering around her every time she flips out, you guys are basically just fueling the fire.
It doesn’t always have to be a bad thing—sometimes letting off steam is exactly what someone needs to unwind and find a little peace. It really all comes down to where that anger is actually coming from in the first place.
When you see someone hitting a breaking point where rage just starts building up day after day—it’s rarely just about one isolated incident. It's usually a sign of deep-seated environmental frustrations and a total inability to tolerate the status quo anymore—or, if we're being honest, it's a destructive outburst triggered by some fundamental breakdown in identity.
Look, she’s only 19. Honestly, maybe it would be better if her boyfriend just drove her to practice or if she took a long walk to clear her head... if she doesn't really know herself yet, it's going to be incredibly hard for her to even realize what's eating at her—especially if we're talking about repressed sexuality to please the family. That was one of my first thoughts here. It feels a bit twisted that her brother, and probably the rest of her family, still look at her and see this "little girl."