Posts by Kevin Bailey2

Don't go hard on the teacher... she was actually being pretty human about it. I seriously doubt she had any bad intentions here.
If this were some heartless person, they wouldn't care at all about seeing one kid sitting there unable to eat with their friends. It’s not even about the food itself; it’s just basic social interaction.
It’s honestly a heartbreaking scene—twenty kids eating lunch while one child just sits there watching them.
I don't get why people don't see that.
I'm guessing it's just a lack of emotional intelligence.

Honestly, I would have done the exact same thing.
I couldn't care less about checking with parents in a situation like this.
Sure, it’s not ideal to bring up Mekić after everything has already been settled... but in that specific moment, when a kid is basically being socially exiled from the whole group... parent agreements don't even matter anymore.
Unless the kid has an allergy or some chronic illness that makes McDonald's off-limits, I'd make sure they got their Happy Meal, period.

And I'm betting that "Tell your mom to pay me back" line
was just said totally haphazardly...
Dealing with money—whether you're giving it or lending it—is always awkward. You end up saying whatever comes to mind just to kill the uncomfortable silence.
Like:
-I'll pay you back.
-Yeah. Okay. (even if you know they probably won't, you just say it to move on).

-Your mom can pay me back.
That was almost certainly an instinctive, brainless reaction.
I highly doubt she's losing sleep over that cash. Because if those $6.75 dollars actually mattered to her, she wouldn't have handed them over in the first place.

melloworca6 said:And what would you even bother testing for? You can always get antibody tests and other screenings done privately, but man, that stuff is pricey.

Anyway, have you had a CBC done lately?

I last had my CBC checked a few months ago. My iron was just a little bit low, so I was put on Heferol, which I'm still finishing up.

Can you actually see anything related to immunity through a CBC?
Other than maybe catching an active inflammation.

I honestly have no clue what immunological tests I should even ask for. I don't know how the whole process works or what options are even out there. 😁

I just want to know if there’s some deeper, serious reason why every little bug seems to latch onto me.
Part of me hopes it’s just my immune system being trashed from pregnancy, breastfeeding, sleepless nights... all that stuff.
But then I look at people around me who live way less healthy lives—smoking, drinking, barely sleeping—and they seem totally fine while I'm constantly getting sick.
That’s what scares me. I'm worried it might be something much more serious, so I want to run tests. Whatever they may be. 🤣

Can I pay for these tests out of pocket, or do I absolutely need a referral from my doctor?

If I can just go privately... does anyone know where I can go and what the damage will be to my wallet?

If I can't... what kind of reasoning do I actually need to give my GP to get a referral?

I had my baby two years ago, and about a year back, my health just started tanking. I seem to catch every single virus and whatever other nonsense goes around.
I’m pretty sure it’s because of daycare—my kid is in it, so it makes sense that I’m catching everything they bring home... but it still bugs me that my two-year-old seems tougher than I am. (He started coughing a week ago and that was basically it... meanwhile, I ended up on antibiotics at the exact same time).

I don't smoke or drink. I eat pretty well and stay active.
I'm not overweight either.

I started taking 500mg beta-glucan capsules, but I still want to figure out why my immune system is such a pushover.

coppernomad5 said:I am still a minor, for what it's worth.

My girlfriend and I have been together for nine months, and her period is already three days late. Last month it arrived on the 6th, even though it usually comes on the 9th. We've been having sex, mostly without condoms. I have NEVER actually finished inside her, so how on earth could she be pregnant? Our parents won't let us say anything to them, so we decided to wait one more day; if nothing happens by then, we'll go buy a test tomorrow. What are we supposed to do if it comes back positive? Please help! :/

So what would you actually do?
What’s done is done. 😁

Now, about the pregnancy... if the test is positive, I really hope it doesn't cross your minds to pull some shady crap by hiding from your parents and hunting down some sketchy doctor who performs procedures in their garage.

If you were mature enough to have sex, then be mature enough to deal with the fallout.

Regardless of whether you decide to keep the baby or not... the very first thing you need to do is tell your parents.
Then let them handle things, because as minors, you don't exactly have much of a say in the matter.

Just move out.
Explain the situation to your professors... tell them why you had to leave (don't be afraid to mention you're a victim of domestic abuse) and why you need to work just to cover tuition, food, clothes, and everything else.
You’ll need to say that in case you need them to excuse you from classes—because let’s face it, the credit system here can be a total nightmare when it comes to scheduling.

You should probably also file an application for student housing; it'll make things a hell of a lot easier on your wallet.

You can usually find something through a campus job board.😁

Just finish your degree. For real. And stay true to yourself.
The truth is, you can't get anywhere with just a high school diploma.
I remind myself of that all the time when I feel like slacking off, since I graduated from a high school too.
Who cares what this loudmouth says?
It's obvious she's miserable and can't even stand being alone, let alone living with someone else.

In the future, don't take it to heart when people talk shit about you.

Some people just need a punching bag, and they don't care who they use to vent.👍

mistymason1 said:That isn't the case at all. 😉

The OP is asking if an adult can actually change their personality.

In psychology and psychiatry, personality is essentially what people usually call "character."

Character tends to be pretty constant—not really something you just swap out.

But behavior? That can change.

So, I guess it depends on what exactly you're looking to change.

Is that some kind of physical law or just a theory?

I’m worried that doesn't actually hold up.

Maybe you meant temperament stays the same?...
Since we're born with our temperament.
Even then, you can change it through hard work—kind of like how you can manage and ease the symptoms of certain genetic conditions...

But character is definitely, absolutely something that shifts as you age, mature, and face new situations you've learned from.

And personality isn't character.
That's a myth.

George Newman11 said:I’d change half of my life if I could, and honestly, I already have... Don't tell me someone can't make a name for themselves just because their parents screwed them over during those first few years... It's not like they're destined to be screwed over for the rest of their lives, right? 😢 😢 😢

I refuse to stay stuck in certain situations 😢 so don't try to patronize me.

Well, wanting to change and actually seeing your own mistakes is the very first step toward making it happen.

I believe people can change to a certain extent.
Not a total overhaul—(though that's possible too)—but just... a healthy dose. Enough to get by.
It's not good to swing from one extreme to the other.

We have to let experience "play" us and teach us lessons.

Instead of stubbornly hitting our heads against the same wall.

As I've gotten older, I've realized a lot of things, and I have to admit I've changed my behavior significantly since I was sixteen.

The idea that people are set in stone by age three or four is nonsense.
Total garbage.
The most intense reality checks I ever got were during puberty.
My brother used to hit me with these brutal bursts of honesty...
For example, once back in high school, our whole class was picking on this one nerd.
Early high school days.
I told my brother about it like it was some funny little story... how some guy in class grabbed the kid's backpack and acted like him to make everyone laugh.
My brother just rolled his eyes at me and said:
"Yeah. You guys are great. So smart and mature. You isolate a person and mentally bully them just because he's better than all of you combined. You think you're making a fool out of him, but you're really just making fools of yourselves. It's pathetic. You're actual sadists. You should all be ashamed."
I felt terrible. Like, genuinely, deeply ashamed. It wasn't that I had some deep-seated urge to be a bully; I was just following the crowd.
That was my turning point.
Throughout my entire teenage years, he kept calling me out on my behavior (when I deserved it), but it was never mindless insults like "you're an idiot." He went straight for those psychological nerves—the stuff I knew was wrong deep down but couldn't admit to myself.
I think I even started playing the victim subconsciously... distancing myself from the group... wearing black... listening to music that "outsiders" liked. 🤣 I started pulling away from most of my classmates because their hypocrisy and two-faced nature started to really bother me... like, really grate on me.
Basically... that moment when my brother pointed out how awful I was being to that kid... that was probably the start of me questioning who I actually was. Until then, I just assumed I was a great person.
From that moment on, I could never call myself a "good person" again.
Never.
Maybe when I'm messing around.
But seriously? No. I wouldn't even dream of saying it.
And I'm never quite satisfied... even when I learn something new, it feels good for a couple of days, and then I think, "Okay, I've moved up a notch. Now what? Stagnation? I'm afraid I won't keep going."
And then I'm right back at square one...
"I suck. I mess up here and there. Yeah. Now I have to start over from square one... God, who has the energy for all that? I honestly don't know anything."

I'm still learning. I screw up constantly.
Some things are so deeply ingrained in me that fighting them is an uphill battle.
Like my tendency toward verbal aggression...
That’s the worst part of me—it’s taken such deep root that it's actually terrifying.
My reaction to being provoked? It's awful. It's nasty. It's repulsive.
A good part of me doesn't even want to be this way... but when something hits me hard... I just snap. Instead of keeping my cool and getting my head straight... I just lash out. I say everything I'm thinking, even if it turns out I didn't actually mean it that way—I was just caught in the heat of the moment.
For instance... some woman on Facebook set me off yesterday. She joined this group... and the group was for a little boy battling a serious illness... specifically for donations and support.
And she posts one of those stupid "chain letter" nonsense things on the wall...
"If you don't share this to 10 walls, a curse will follow you forever and ever and blah blah blah..."
And I just lose it. I truly lose it. I can't help myself from telling her what a disgusting, hateful, and moronic person she is for doing stuff like that.
Instead of just ignoring her...
Like I do with most of the mindless comments online.
Then, when I see news about some guy getting jumped in the street or brutally murdered... a horrific rage wakes up inside me that I can barely keep on a leash.
It frustrates me desperately. It really does.
It's not like I have some massive tragedy in my life... actually, things are pretty good.
But I can't fully enjoy it because of how I react to the news, the nightly broadcasts, and everything happening in the world. It doesn't even have to happen to me personally for me to go ballistic.

Look. I'm trying. Sometimes I do manage to ignore it and just wave it off.
But I really wish I didn't act so impulsively. I want to learn to control my emotions better.
Again, I have to admit... I control my emotions much better than I did a few years ago.
But it's still not enough. I think I need more time and practice... to eventually learn how to just "be cool" about certain things as I get older...

But I believe change is possible.

You just have to want it, be patient, and put in the work.

There is no hope for people who think they're perfect, or that they've reached the absolute peak of existence and wisdom.
They are the worst kind of people. They are beyond saving.
Once a person stops being self-critical... they just stagnate at the lowest possible level and spiral into a pile of bullshit.
But they're usually happy.
Because they lie to themselves.

But for those of us actually fighting ourselves...
Ah... there's a lot of suffering involved. 😍 😂

The key to everything is the ego.
Our ego can either lift us up... or bury us.
The problem is... for a person... to lift themselves up... they have to bring their ego down.
Which means... you basically have to humble yourself... bow your head...
That happens to me sometimes... but man, it is HARD. It takes me time to process it...
That's the part that screws me over the most, and that's where I want to be better too.

Maria Booth96 said:If it’s okay to ask here, please leave me be; if not, feel free to move this to the right sub.🙂 My bad.

So, my better half and I decided to pick up an old wall-to-wall shelving unit. It’s a solid piece—not worn out at all. Most people used it for books (which is our plan), but it’s an older model from the mid-eighties. Probably been around for 25-30 years. It looks functional enough to me, and it has a nice oak veneer.

I’m an allergy sufferer when it comes to dust mites, though I usually have it pretty well under control. It’s annoying, but it only flares up for maybe two or three weeks a year. Our mattresses are new and hypoallergenic, the sofa was bought just two years ago straight from the manufacturer—(for anyone with allergies, seriously, you have to check the manufacturing date. I still remember helping my late aunt pick out a couch for her place; something sitting in a warehouse since 2005 might have been manufactured back in 1997. It’s technically "new" because it hasn't sold, but it's been collecting dust particles for eight years before you even bring it home.) We don't have carpets, curtains are out of the question, and it's basically just books everywhere. And we'd be putting them behind glass. 🙂

Does anyone know if there could actually be dust mites living inside the shelving unit itself? Honestly, it sounds unlikely to me, almost impossible, but I want to be safe. I know they usually hang out in upholstered items, but I wanted to see if anyone more knowledgeable could weigh in.
Thanks👍

First time I've ever heard of mites living in a wooden cabinet.
Honestly, doesn't sound likely at all.
Just wipe it down with some disinfectant or rubbing alcohol and you're good.

Jamie Thompson3 said:A whole year? 😢
Give me a break.
Is there even a chance my little one could choke on all those damn hairs?
That’s honestly my only real fear.

It's unlikely they'll choke... it's not like they're licking your hair.
Maybe if they start pulling at it 😍 (well, yeah... count that as extra hair loss 🤣 ) ...but they spit out hair... they aren't cats. 😬

Actually, it happened to my aunt once. Her baby wouldn't stop screaming his head off and they had no clue why until they realized a strand of her hair had wrapped itself so tightly around the poor kid's toe that it turned almost purple... total disaster... could have been fatal...
That's why I check every single toe on mine every morning and night after bath time.

But I definitely find my own hair in my baby's diaper regularly. And what's worse, I check to see if any of my hair fell into the diaper... and it's useless... I just keep finding them here and there...
And then, just when a hair falls right while I'm applying lotion... and it sticks to the cream... ugh, gross.

Jamie Thompson3 said:Luckily, I’ve still got all my teeth 😲, but my hair... Good grief. 🤦
It’s falling out everywhere. Just constant.
I’m not even worried about going bald since I have plenty to spare, but finding stray hairs tangled between my kid's fingers is driving me insane. 😠
No matter how much I clean or try to be careful, nothing works. It's a total disaster.
I've been using Dow Chemical for a while now, but honestly, I haven't seen any real improvement.
When does this nightmare end? 😳😳😳

It usually happens about a year after giving birth...
Sad... I know...

But if it helps, once the shedding stops, your hair bounces back pretty fast...
Especially if you started out with thick hair... then it's really no big deal...

Morgan Evans3 said:Last night, mm and I went out for dinner and honestly overdid it. My stomach was absolutely bulging by the end. Afterward, we stopped at a Shell station where I ran into an old classmate of mine.
him: "How much longer?"
me: "Another three."
him: "Three what, weeks?"
me: "No, three months."
him: He looked from my stomach to mm, then back to me, his face just 😲 went blank before he muttered, "Holy..." 😂 and gestured toward my midsection to point out how huge my belly was.

I wasn't even irritated by him; it was just rude, and he seemed genuinely stunned. What actually bothers me is the fact that I just polished off a massive 150g portion of risotto and can't seem to stop eating. Now I feel like I'm going to end up looking like an elephant.😠

I remember back when I was 38 weeks pregnant, a friend asked me:
"So, how heavy is the little guy?"
I told him, "About seven pounds..."
He just stared at my stomach and goes:
"Man, I'd say he's easily over nine pounds." 😲 🤣

Michelle Ramos45 said:Laura Jackson56, honestly, that sciatica is probably just coming from that 27-pound, 32-inch bundle of joy you're lugging around 😬
(just saw the measurements)

Sciatica during pregnancy usually happens because the baby is physically pressing on the nerve. It typically lets up once they're out of there...
Then you just have to wait for the nerve to recover and forget it was being squished for months on end.🙂

Hahaha. Yeah. I get it. Sometimes when I pick him up without warning, I definitely feel a sharp zap. 😛

My lower back was acting up a bit after I had my baby, too... though honestly, it wasn't even that bad.
I have to make sure I get some stretching in every morning just to keep it from happening again.

Man, my sister had sciatica after she gave birth that was so bad she was literally sobbing from the pain.
She actually had two kids without making a single sound, let alone whining.
So yeah, she knew exactly how brutal that sciatica can get.
Nowadays, she can't even feel her big toe anymore because of it.

On her doctor's advice, she used Voltaren as therapy (I think it was every 4-6 hours, I can't remember exactly)... and that went on for 10 days.
She was breastfeeding. The baby was tiny.
She mentioned that to the doctor, and he just basically said, "Screw it, it won't hurt her."
And nothing happened. She was fine.

But don't go thinking I'm telling you to just go grab some Voltaren... if you're in that much pain, call 911 and ask them.

You'll be stepping into the admin role right after I'm out.

wearybear75 said:If she doesn't like someone, she just drags out the whole thread until they snap, then plays the victim. It's one of her go-to moves,

edit; here's another one: she stirs the pot until everyone's riled up, then—boom—instant ban. Red cards flying everywhere. Since you were provoked, you can't complain when the post turns sour. That’s the whole point. Use your head. 🙂

This hits the nail on the head. Honestly, I didn't even need to post my own take.

I’m officially joining the "we’re fed up with Tim Cook’s moderation" club.
Because of her, I don't even bother visiting the women's lounge anymore.
One time, she actually recruited a bunch of trolls to harass and belittle me. It was disgusting—they were even calling my kid a little beggar on a street corner in downtown Chicago and stuff like that.
And nobody got banned for it. Apparently, she was totally fine with it as long as it targeted me, even though I reported every single one of those posts.
Then, when I made a joke about being a guy and told some other user I’d "kick her butt until her eyes pop out"... boom. 500 points gone and a week-long ban.
Just like that. Seriously. It felt like she had been sitting there for days, just waiting for me to slip up so she could pounce.
Man, I would’ve expected a 45-point penalty. But 500? OMG.
Especially when I see what other people get away with posting without any consequences at all...

She’s not objective.
It’s obvious her moderation style is just a way to vent her own frustrations and prove a point. Sorry, but that’s how it looks.

Take Kim Kardashian, for example. She has never once abused her moderator status.
Not even once.
I’ve seen posts directed at her on Netflix that would probably land someone like Tim Cook with a permanent ban if they were in her shoes. But Kim Kardashian doesn't even issue a warning, because she clearly doesn't feel the need to prove anything to herself or anyone else by acting like a power-tripping tyrant.

Personally, I’d much rather have more moderators like Kim Kardashian... and fewer like Tim Cook, who bring nothing but negative energy and bad vibes to the job... which honestly just ruins the whole forum.
I mean, if you can't joke around a bit and be relaxed in the women's lounge without worrying someone's going to jump down your throat over something tiny... then this place is seriously lame.

It totally feels like she enjoys handing out bans. Is moderation some kind of competition to see who can hand out the most penalties?

Olivia Murphy24 said:Well, everyone's got their own way of doing things, I guess. People always find a way to scratch where it itches. 🥳

Just do what you always do—brush me off instead of actually paying attention to me. It’s pretty much what I do to you most of the time anyway. ☕

quietseal1 said:Aren't you taking that a little too personally?

Look, you know your own life better than anyone else. Whether your day was planned out weeks ago or just some chaotic mess that happened by accident—it doesn't matter. Why on earth would you waste your energy making excuses to someone else? Honestly, why even bother getting worked up over it on social media? It’s just not worth the headache.🤷

Look, it’s not like I’m losing my mind here. Dammit. 😬 🤣

I have to say, those pretentious attitudes really get under my skin.

Isn't that a little lame?

It’s not even that I’m personally bothered by them taking shots at unplanned kids. What really gets under my skin is this:
Look, I love my kid more than anything in this world. They’re incredible. Honestly, there isn't anyone else I care about more—I just absolutely adore them. Believe me when I say that. I really, really do.

I mean, really. Is this actually necessary?

All good.
Yeah.
That kind of gatekeeping really gets under my skin.
Look, just take a look at the facts. We actually planned for kids, whereas you guys just winged it. We’re clearly winning here.
Total waste of time. 😛

quietseal1 said:There’s nothing offensive about this topic. I honestly don't get why she feels targeted or insulted. 😁

Well, it's because I planned to have my kid in three years, but instead, it happened in three months. Thank God. Looking back, my original timeline was totally messed up anyway. It happened exactly when it needed to, not just when I decided it should happen.
But let's be clear—I didn't go home that night specifically trying to "make a baby" with my husband.
We just had way too much built-up energy.

So, who gets to tell me I don't love my husband or my child just because our timing shifted a little?