casualtiger2 said:They say having a healthy sex life works wonders.
That thought crosses my mind quite often, I suppose, though my brain usually derails immediately. I start thinking about how athletes seem to hold some sort of privileged status in society, which then inevitably leads to those cynical comments about how for every one successful pro athlete, there are a hundred more just struggling to make ends meet.😍
For the intellectually innocent among us: consider the ratio of failures to good sex.😁
Goodness... I can feel my sense of humor slowly returning. Thank you for listening. I think I’ll head out while I’m still riding this brief wave of positive vibes.😁
ruggedtinker8 said:You have to realize that women who stay with spouses like that, and who basically serve up that kind of nonsense to their kids by staying, are actually being STUPID (not being pious or good) or they have some sort of calculated reason—some small daily advantage where it’s easier to just let things stay the way they are (even if it hurts the kids) rather than changing anything.
Once you see that your mom isn't actually a saint, and that she didn't use her "kindness" to guilt-trip you into feeling like you always have to be perfect, you'll start seeing the world differently.
It wouldn't be great if you swung too far the other way and started enjoying putting women down, but a little shift in how you view them might do you some good. Women aren't angels just because they're women. They can be just as messy as guys.
There it is... reality... the truth... facts.
Personally, I feel I've "outgrown" my parents (regardless of the specific situation or age, the principle remains the same)... as well as many other things considered "normal"... so, prepare yourself and be ready for anything. My advice? Just look out for yourself and trust your own judgment, no matter what life throws your way.
driftingwolf5 said:I’ve been lurking on this American forum for quite some time now, usually just reading and finding plenty of things to agree with, but today I felt like actually contributing something of my own...
It seems I simply can't stand being alone with my own thoughts. Whenever I try to sit down and study for exams, I find myself retreating into isolation, yet I'm constantly plagued by these nagging distractions; I always seem to find something new to fret over. I suppose I'm not exactly thrilled about being alone, though I know having no social circle isn't the end of the world—it just makes me wonder why I feel so fragile, as if I lack the strength to be content in my own company. When things get heavy, I lose my appetite entirely; it's not that I'm choosing not to eat, I just force myself through it because the nausea is too much to handle. People tell me I look terrible, or that I've become unhealthily thin. There are moments when I feel a bit better, but once the solitude sets back in, everything reverts to the same old pattern. I don't really talk to anyone about it either, mostly because I worry I'll sound ridiculous bringing up these kinds of struggles. My biggest hurdle right now, though, is just trying to stay focused and study for these exams without being stuck in this loop of loneliness and distraction; if I could just figure out how to manage that, things might be different.
Just go outside.😉
.. No, really, there's absolutely no need to thank me.😁
Michael Sanders10 said:Over the last few years, I’ve been struck by how drastically the circle of trust among people seems to be shrinking. What worries me most is that this erosion has started to seep into even the closest friendships. Have you all noticed this shift in your own lives? How exactly are you maintaining your friendships and nurturing that mutual sense of trust?...
Personally, I’ve observed lately that there's an influx of accounts with fewer than ten posts jumping in to start threads... and if I dare to push my analysis further or offer my actual OPINION, those wretched conclusions get scrubbed immediately. So much for free speech; it feels like pure censorship to me.
I still maintain the perspective that every individual is a friend—or perhaps, if I am being more precise, I view myself as somewhat of an outlier among people..
.. and so on, regarding the nature of man.. As a friend to anyone, I suppose I grant them the right to think whatever they please, though I find myself increasingly hesitant to let them act however they wish.. It has cost me far too much of my life on more than one occasion.. One only gets one shot at this existence, after all.. Consequently, I wouldn't trust anyone enough to stake my life on them anymore, which leads one straight into a state of total paranoia; yet, when I encounter someone, I feel a certain drive to try, provided I am capable, to be their friend as much as is possible and reasonable.. In my estimation, anyway.. hmm
.. To put it briefly, it is more than difficult; it feels as though every time I shake someone's hand, I am handing them an axe, and by listening to them, I am essentially placing my own head upon the chopping block.☕
In my estimation, Elon Musk merely uncovered truths that were already there rather than inventing them from scratch.😛
As for his character... from what I can gather... he is a remarkably decent individual. However, I find myself disagreeing with the notion that people of his caliber are rare. Perhaps it would be more accurate to say that truly unique individuals are actually quite common; I have encountered far more than just one truly great and honorable person in my lifetime (and I have certainly never met Elon Musk personally😛). He was a genius who dedicated his entire existence to work that had to be applied within the constraints of his era—he simply didn't have a choice. Many others capitalized on his discoveries, yet many more benefited from the fruits of his labor. (I suspect that throughout history, there have been many figures similar to him, but due to various circumstances, they aren't widely recognized today => I've observed that we live in an age where one often has to act foolishly or pretend to be less intelligent than their superiors. There are so many insecure, childish people out there, so...)
If someone spends their entire life obsessively studying some insignificant insect, I don't believe that person becomes any greater of a genius or a better human being than Elon Musk in any scientific sense. Though, I suppose I doubt anyone would ever even notice their research, given that there is no practical utility in a lifetime of devotion, passion, or... well, the most theatrical part being a devotion to a single species of bug😁
I hope I haven't caused offense regarding the work, ideas, or symbolism associated with Elon Musk. If I have, I shall take it upon myself to practice self-censorship this time around.😉
Steven Wilson9 said:They probably mean what kind of person you have to be to actually make it in life. In my experience, you have to be ruthless—ignore everyone else and focus strictly on yourself. People follow the sharks; nobody gives a damn about the nice guys...😁
😕
So, the logic follows that if I simply eliminate everyone in my orbit, I’ve achieved success... but then there's a bit of a logical knot, isn't there? If I succeed by removing everyone else, who exactly am I supposed to measure myself against? Who am I, once I've reached the top and there's no one left to look at? Without others, what are the metrics? What are the criteria? There is no one left to compare things to, and certainly no one left to talk to, because all I would see is my own reflection.☕
I find myself struggling to wrap my head around this, or perhaps more accurately, I am quite irritated by the use of the word "should" in this context..
In what sense do you mean "should" be?.. Please, elaborate on your reasoning ☕
Nancy Lee84 said:You gotta be self-caused. Create your own damn nature. Stop listening to Heraclitus... 🙂 Be your own imperative—not some rule from Quincy. As much as you can, as much as you're capable of... Forge your own truths. Nobody believes anyone else anyway, unless they have to. Build your world and tear it down—as many times as it takes until you actually hit solid ground.
You should check out some Wittgenstein stuff, like this bit:
6.43 if good or bad will changes the world, then it can only change the limits of the world, not the facts; not what can be expressed through language. Basically, the world has to become something else entirely. It effectively has to shrink or expand as a whole. The world of a happy person is different from the world of an unhappy one.
And remember it, tattoo it on your skin. Put it on your ass. So people can read it when they kiss us on the ass. Because we know it. Don't just believe in facts, believe in visions too. In dreams. Facts are limiting. Dreams aren't. But still, stay grounded. Feel your steps. Feel the earth. The ground is good. It's right there beneath you. Remember Emerson and Whitman. Think about others. Don't be arrogant or full of yourself. Love. Love yourself first, then love people. If you don't love yourself, you can't love anyone else. That’s where it all spins. In those simple circles of self-discovery. But to get to those circles, you gotta walk a lot. Walking is good. For the heart and the other muscles. But I already wrote about walking... 🙂
People talk about "time" as if it were some tangible, physical thing... but honestly, time is just a concept humans cooked up... much like any other unit of measurement we've devised.
The whole idea of time—and the moment we decided to accept it as a standard unit—is supposedly linked to space according to certain "theories."
And here is the rather grimly amusing reality of our existence: even the most brilliant theoretical physicists still haven't actually defined what space *is*.😁
To put it more plainly for those who might have missed the point: nobody truly understands what space is, nor how to describe it accurately... I suppose. I'm not entirely sure if it's possible to express this without someone taking offense, though.🙄
But then again, for those who actually care about facts... I suppose it's just important to have something to talk about.😍
vividotter7 said:I’m not entirely sure why I ended up in this subforum. Sometimes I want some advice or just a conversation, but then again, I have zero interest in talking about my feelings or what’s on my mind. I’ve spent my whole life avoiding emotional discussions, skipping serious talks, and dodging responsibility. It worked perfectly fine for me until two days ago. I’ve always been a stoic—someone who doesn't sweat the small stuff, doesn't get attached to people, and doesn't care about material things because they don't matter.
Anyone who knows me would tell you I’m as detached as they come. Lately, it isn't even about being worried; it’s just that I don't know what to do with myself. I’ve fallen into a rut that I can't seem to break out of, or at least I haven't found the way out yet. Looking back at my life and everything I've done, I've realized I only ever do things because I feel like doing them in the moment, not because there's any long-term benefit. I don't have a grand life goal, no drive to accomplish anything, and no vision for the future. In fact, I don't even think about the future. The past doesn't cross my mind either; I just live day to day. I'm getting tired of this lifestyle, especially regarding motivation. I’m currently repeating a year at my university, and while I know I should study for the sake of my career, I just can't force myself to hit the books. And it's not just school; it's everything. Whatever I start, I do for a little while and then quit as soon as I get bored.
I've written too much. I won't go into the details since there's already plenty of content here. I'd be open to some advice.
This sounds to me like you've been brainwashed... honestly, it sounds like they scrubbed your mind clean. It’s just a collection of tired clichés at this point.
If I were to offer some advice, I’d say try to shake off all those internalized grievances and actually spend some time focusing on yourself. Truly get to know who you are. You definitely exist, so maybe take a look at this video and let me know if you see anything that might be triggering this state you're in. In short, I suspect you've turned all your sense of accountability and self-criticism inward.
I assume you are aware of the sort of society we live in today... I highly doubt you simply gave up on everything and lost all drive entirely on your own. Previously, I might have suggested you were being indoctrinated—perhaps through some psychological manipulation under the guise of "love," as they say—but then again, that is merely my opinion.
Carl Rivera43 said:So why is it that people who don't want to be part of the herd still end up stuck in indecision?
Who’s actually to blame when things get this messy?
I suppose I should reiterate... just ask those people... why don't they? Ever since I can remember, I have been someone who asks questions—and I’ve noticed that most of the "sheep" actually find questions quite irritating. They go to great lengths to avoid answering them altogether.
I consider myself a lifelong skeptic (which involves constant analysis 😁 and leaving room for new insights that will inevitably be re-examined as one gains more life experience). If nothing else, I have been resolute in this approach for over thirty years, even though there was plenty I could have kept to myself about my own views. Much of what people believe isn't rooted in reality, but rather in a sort of mass hypnosis, or a specific state of consciousness belonging to the sheep... 😛 and by sheep, I mean as long as being a sheep, used in the most objective sense. It isn't that I have some burning desire to insult the majority; on the contrary, I notice that they (the sheep) possess an inherent need to offend others, along with many other primitive urges that, in my estimation, can occasionally be detrimental to one's health.🙂
Who is partially to blame for these kinds of situations?
There is no blame to be found... evil is merely a subjective perception and depends entirely on one's perspective...
For a sheep, it is arguably better to stay within the flock, isn't it? And yet, the fact that the flock tramples the individual is clearly bad news for the sheep being trampled. But, well... it seems quite obvious that for some, the priority is the flock over their own needs, desires, or even their very existence!😢
My conclusion:
Society destroys the individual... society despises the individual.
Yes, the sheep have a desperate need to be led and told exactly how to behave, but instinctively—subconsciously, if you will—they are aware of their own needs. When you dare to pose a question to a specific individual within that flock... well, goodness, you'll see the trouble you've caused.😁
Carl Rivera43 said:So, let’s take workplace injustice as an example for a second.
Say a boss runs a firm with about ten clerks—I won't get too bogged down in the details here.
It’s a total given that some employees are going to suck up to the boss, right? And behind everyone else's backs, they’ll be labeled as the "inner circle."
Now, a good chunk of the staff will likely stay officially neutral. But if there’s blatant unfairness happening with the pay scales at the top, why do so many people just stay passive and stay out of it?
It might be best to ask them directly... I suppose I can't truly know what drives their specific motivations..
Looking at this behavior from a broader perspective, I tend to hold the general opinion that most people are simply followers... occasionally you'll stumble upon a person of true character—someone who, by my definition, is a mature, grown individual who remains conscious of themselves and the world around them... but then again, what can you do? Even if it rubs some the wrong way, that is just my view on the matter..
It reminds me of that old saying, "as long as being a sheep, there will always be plenty of wool."🙂
I take xanax from time to time... though I find it works best when I'm trying to sleep. It's hard to get anything done physically, and frankly, mentally either. I wouldn't call myself an active person, but out of everything I've experimented with, this seems to suit me most. If I don't take it, my consciousness feels entirely "unfiltered." My thoughts and my general way of processing things remain just as they always were, if you catch my drift.
Technically, I probably ought to be on it every single day. But since the reality of basic survival—deciding what to eat, figuring out how to wash up, just managing to exist—is such a struggle, I'm really not in a position to commit to a full therapy regimen. Though, looking back, even though I was skeptical at first, I somehow managed to carve out a lifestyle where I can function with fewer pills on a daily basis.
I try to find little ways to endure life without relying on the medication. Unfortunately, I tend to procrastinate far too often. Like yesterday, for instance... so I wanted to take this opportunity to explain why I might have been typing a bit too fast.🤷
Nicholas Gonzalez8 said:Look, it’s pretty obvious your brother is finally getting his act together—he's actually fixing things in his life—but let's be real, he can't tackle everything in one fell swoop. It doesn't work like that. You’ve gotta be there for him, you know? Give him that boost, cheer him on, and definitely make sure to give him some credit whenever he nails something. But—and this is a big "but"—don't go breathing down his neck or pushing him too hard. Let him breathe.
Or just buy him a dog. 😁
Forgive me, but I simply couldn't help myself...
In order to avoid drifting toward the opposite perspective...
People tend to believe they shouldn't speak up, or that it isn't okay to disagree. They assume their own convictions and behaviors are inherently good. I have absolutely no desire to make anyone doubt themselves, nor do I wish to discourage them—and I certainly don't want to belittle their hard work or their noble intentions.
But sooner or later the real world comes knocking at the door...
My advice? Stand by your brother and help him through this, whether that means physical labor 😉 or perhaps finding him a girlfriend. Personally, I think finding a partner is more vital than finishing a degree. I know plenty of people with Ivy League degrees who are completely miserable; they have no jobs, no partners, and no families. Nothing. 😢
“Action may not necessarily guarantee happiness, but I suppose one cannot find happiness without taking action in the first place.”
If you’ve decided to be an active participant in your own life... then by all means, stay active. 😉
I think I recall some old man in a movie saying—and I might be misremembering the exact scene—that regret is perhaps the single most devastating thing a person can experience. Even though I don't consider myself to be particularly elderly, I have this lingering feeling that he was quite right.
These supposed changes made "in the name of love" are really just a reflection of a total lack of respect and basic decency within our society—or at least, how I perceive it. It’s become perfectly acceptable to just say, "Good luck, either you conform or we won't be happy together," which is honestly such a load of garbage. It's tragic, but unfortunately, it’s just daily life now.😢
As for happiness, well, I’m clearly not one of those people, because despite more than 30 years of trying, neither society nor any individual has managed to sway me or convince me to join in on this mass schizophrenia they call normalcy.😛 And the fact that this behavior is considered "normal"🤣
The truth is, people would probably resort to cannibalism before they actually take a moment to acknowledge the mess they've created and think about it. It’s much easier to just destroy the evidence and ignore the issue than it is to actually grapple with "difficult questions and social phenomena."
For instance: society destroys certain individuals or families under the guise of progress and the "greater good," and then proceeds to paint those very people as the societal problem. Then, when those people start picking through the wreckage, they are labeled as "troublemakers." No, no... they aren't the problem; they are the direct consequence of this society—a consequence of every single person who makes up this collective.🙂
I suppose I should ask myself what the point is... three major realizations in a single day? 🙂 pff
When you suggest that I stick to facts or adopt a more streamlined approach—perhaps a more grounded perspective—I feel compelled to explain my reasoning, if only to prevent this from devolving into complete nonsense 🙂
To be honest, reading through your contributions in this thread feels somewhat like revisiting those heady, philosophical years when I spent quite a long time drifting in abstraction (believing myself to be in some sort of turmoil, which, I suppose, was true... everything is interconnected, after all)
.. Now, I have no desire to cast myself as some sort of sage, but you really have overcomplicated things... specifically regarding your claim that the past isn't a burden because nothing actually happened. Perhaps if something *had* happened, you would feel better? You might have possessed some meaningful experience to draw upon while contemplating the future..
In fact, I’ve just been having a brief internal dialogue with myself, hoping that these thoughts might resonate with you... I suspect there is nothing wrong with your mind or its processing. Firstly, you possess a brain, and it appears to be functional enough... I am not saying that to set you apart from the mindless masses, but rather simply as a matter of objective fact 😉
Some time ago, I received advice here from England-a to adhere to a certain frame of reference or a similar guiding principle. If I were to offer you any counsel, it would be this: regardless of how much you wander, try to maintain a core system of values that provides stability. Something constant—a sense of purpose. In short, a philosophy 😁
Personally, after enduring endless exhausting monologues and various "serious" discussions with people... I have found that these "simple" perspectives and conclusions tend to hold up remarkably well against established standards. At least, they have for me.. mmda ☕
Hannah Allen5 said:I guess I do regret the things that never even happened. And I don't know, it doesn't really feel that simple to me. Like, maybe it does for everyone else, but not for me.
Plan for the future once in a while, sure, but don't obsess over it because that just brings unnecessary stress and headaches. Just try to live your life—focus on the here and now. Maybe you'll hit it off with someone and build a real connection, or maybe you won't. Worst case scenario, there are still millions of other girls out there to meet.
And I think that’s kind of where the issue lies. When I'm not constantly stuck ruminating on the past, my mind just drifts right back to worrying about the future. I don't know, regarding that part of my life, I still have this nagging doubt that things will ever actually improve. My main struggle is that my experiences with others have been either pretty bad or non-existent. I haven't reached the level of communication or depth with people that I'd like. But then again, there's an issue on her side too—definitely one, if not several. The first thing is that, because of certain situations in her life, she might be pigeonholing me as one of those "bad guys," even if she doesn't mean to. And the second thing is, sometimes it feels like she's afraid—afraid of hurting me, or me hurting her, or just afraid of breaking out of her usual routine.
Don't fight your thoughts. Don't get caught up in that endless internal debate. Just let the thoughts pass through and focus on your breathing. For example, when you catch yourself thinking "What if...", just acknowledge the thought and let it go. Don't feed into it. It helps you stay calm and keeps you in control.
Once it starts, though, it's way stronger than I am. Even now, I'm not entirely sure, but when I was writing last night, it felt like a total flood of emotions and thoughts... and even though I don't usually write stuff when I'm worked up, I think that was definitely the case. It would be perfect if I could just shut my brain off... Or just, I don't know, be able to think about something—or someone—without being unable to stop.🤷
To be honest, I'd say something *is* actually wrong. I don't mean that I'm crazy or anything, but I feel like if everything were within a normal, healthy framework, there wouldn't be this much of a problem.
When it comes to these kinds of discussions, I don't usually find myself talking much, but I guess sometimes you just need the right facial expressions to get the point across.😬 I guess I should probably address what Hannah Allen5 was saying earlier, because honestly, it’s just driving me absolutely up the wall at this point. Maybe I’m being too sensitive or whatever, but there is something about the way people look at these situations that feels completely disconnected from reality, and it’s frankly exhausting to deal with. I mean, you look at the sheer scale of how things are handled here in the States, and it’s like nobody actually stops to think about the consequences of their actions before they go charging ahead blindly. It’s just frustrating, really, seeing everyone jump to conclusions without any real substance behind them, and I can't help but feel like we're all just spinning our wheels while pretending everything is perfectly fine when it clearly isn't.
I guess you’re being a little too soft on them, if I'm being honest... but then again, there really are just so many of us out there who feel exactly the same way. Hang in there. Go ahead: scream, yell... just maybe not inside the house! 😉
Honestly, you mentioned the woods, and I think you're onto something there. Getting active really does help—like, getting so deeply involved in something that my brain just doesn't have the bandwidth to obsess over my problems anymore. Take running, for instance. You might find yourself thinking about how much someone needs to get out more, or worrying about whether you'll actually land a job, or maybe a random thought about sex pops up, but somehow running stays the dominant thing on my mind. Even afterward, there’s this sort of euphoria... I don't really know what else to call it, but it's this intense mental and physical state that basically keeps me floating right above all my issues.
But honestly, that’s just how it goes with all the jobs I get stuck with... If I'm doing some kind of "template" task where I don't really have to be deeply engaged—you know, like chopping wood, mowing the lawn, or even that fence painting job I did earlier this year—my mind isn't exactly preoccupied, and because of that, my thoughts just sort of take over and start running wild. And I guess it isn't even that big of a deal in most normal situations, but the real issue crops up when something totally ambiguous happens, something that I didn't even really cause (or at least, that's how it feels to me anyway).
I shall never quite forget those words...
"Looking toward the future provokes a sense of dread, while looking back triggers nothing but guilt."
It is all very easy to play philosopher and beat problems with someone else's logic, but I wonder if it is actually possible to just be brave, pull oneself together, and exist fully in the present moment...
I have this nagging suspicion—though I could be wrong, of course—that we are all essentially fleeing from the present. It seems to us that the current era imposes certain "narratives," or perhaps entire clusters of sensations, that are simply too overwhelming to truly process or remain conscious of at any given time.
That is merely my own perspective, mind you. There are likely countless other ways to interpret this...
Just thought you should know.😁 -In an American courtroom, what matters most to them is whether you acted with full awareness and if you were deemed legally sane at the moment of the act, whatever that may imply.☕
Henry Cruz5 said:Just ask yourself one thing: how would your life actually look if you didn't have him by your side, and more importantly, if you didn't have the chance to go to college? Everything would be a whole lot easier for you.
Maybe things would be better for you... perhaps that's precisely where the issue lies.. 😉
It seems possible that you're facing more complications than you even realize.. ☕